Two Beddings and a Funeral

I submit 5 reasons why the last episode of Lost, season 3.5, sucked.

Number 1 – Contempt for the Audience

The single most hateable line from this episode was from Locke at Mr. Eko’s funeral.  I cite freely, “I don’t know why you had to die Mr. Eko, I hope we find out sooner or later.”

Thanks Lost producers.  Can I have my face returned from the back of your hand now?

Nice to know the writers are now cutting and pasting lines from some online Fan Forum.

Number 2 – Let’s All Go To the Lobby

Last episode was a flashback about Kate getting married, and… actually it’s not important because it didn’t add anything to the story.  

Some might enjoy seeing Kate get some action from her old husband.  Me I’m dying for each flashback scene to end.  It’s not storytelling, it’s an intermission.  

Lost writers used to tell character back stories that fit into the main story.  When you watched them they added texture to the current situation.  Now they seem to be used to just fill time.

Number 3 – It’s Might Be the Tumor

Henry Gale is trying to con Jack into to operating on him?  Really?

The submarine out of gas?  The guys that deliver Red Sox videos don’t know any doctors?  Couldn’t hitch a boat ride with Michael and Walter last season?

The tumor is on his spine not, his head.  So, why is his best plan to save his own life involve murder, deception, kidnapping, etc…  

Wow that’s dumb.
  
Number 4 – Cage Match

Kate escapes her cage and decides that making sweet love to Sawyer is more important than running away.

Okay I will believe that the island has polar bears, ghosts and black smoking monsters but, come on, you aren’t going to make some distance between the bad guys and yourselves before having sex.

Number 5 – Another Cliffhanger

Are you kidding me?  6 episodes and we get another cliffhanger?  

So Lost fans,  if you want to know what the smoke monster is, why are there are hatches on an island, what are polar bears doing there, what’s the dharma initiative have to do with anything, why the Others want babies, etc, etc, etc…  tune in next January.  

For the rest of us that have begun to hate this show, I suggest you do what Jack recommends and RUN!

-Special thanks to David Vellanoweth for this writeup!

Written by on November 18th, 2006 with 44 comments.
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Smokey

So this week we were treated to an episode that opened with a flashback.  I guess there is so little plot to cover on the island that we must know more and more backstory about the characters.   But did Eko’s flashbacks really add to the story? OK, he’s a killer we got that already.  OK, he’s pretending to be a priest, we got that too.  The “scary” CGI smoke monster beating him to a pulp was a nice touch.  Not the greatest special effect, but hey, it’s a TV show.  Now you may be saying, “Wow, something actually happened in this episode.  You are wrong Tyler, things do happen”.  Well you would be wrong to say that. I guarantee he will be back, Obi Wan in Empire Strikes back style, popping up all over the island.  We aren’t falling for his “death”, lost producers.

 Which brings me to my 2 main gripes for the producers of Lost about this episode:

 1. Introducing new characters.  Are you freaking joking me?  There are at least 30 characters on the show already with issues that haven’t been resolved or developed yet, and you are introducing new characters.  Are we going to have flashbacks for them now too?  For the love of God, stop with the characters and start wrapping some of these storylines up.

2. “Fall” Season Finale next week?  WTF!?!?  Haven’t there only been 4 episodes since the last season finale.  Nothing has even happened with the “cliffhangars” from last time?  Does this make sense to anyone?  Who were the guys listening to the radio in the igloo?  Who was that chick that got the phone call at the end?  4 episodes and you are taking a break?  Other shows are able to string together a season of shows, what makes Lost so special?  Get back to work and start pumping out some real shows that tie up some of the 500 loose ends. 
-T

Written by on November 3rd, 2006 with 47 comments.
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