You call that a cat fight?
I’m really struggling to come up with something witty to say about the show anymore. It just plain sucks ass. It’s now just become a tired caricature of itself. Even the twists and turns that used to be so cool are predictable now. The show has a clear formula every that every episode now follows.
The 3 part Lost episode formula:
1. The main storyline: Usually a trek through the jungle. At some point the characters will fight each other and be chased by something to showcase the dramatic shaky camera work. If they get to where they were going, the next episode will be a trek back.
2. The pointless flashback: Generally just re-hashing a previously good flashback from season 1. There is really nothing worthwhile to add anymore, so the flashbacks must just be something for the actors to shoot when they aren’t in Hawaii.
3. The comedic sub-plot: Sawyer calling Hurley fat, and Hurley calling Sawyer dude. Or some variation of this theme. Comic gold I tell you.
Add a slow-mo music sequence at the end, and call it a wrap. Another Lost episode in the can.
Written by Tyler on April 5th, 2007 with
136 comments.
Read more articles on Posts.
- [+] Digg: Feature this article
- [+] Del.icio.us: Bookmark this article
- [+] Furl: Bookmark this article
the producers are delusional if they think flashbacks can be enteraining at this point
Flashbacks could be entertaining if they revealed anything new. It stands to reason that if we had NEVER left the environs of the island that the show would’ve gotten boring even faster. However as I’ve stated many times, we’ve had enough character development to last a lifetime. It’s time to get to some meaty plot driven stuff, dontcha’ think?
fur shizzle
you know what you fucking bitch why dont you get off the lost makers they be tryin to make a fucking show and a bunch of little piussy ass niggas tryin to talk shit about some niggas whole lifes work who gives a fuck about you all these niggas ass blockin buttchocks why you all hatin on lost you feel it down and around get some of your lost fuckin walmart ass lookin walawala bing bangin shit droppin up on all fours i dont know what the fuck lost is the nigga next to me is lost thats some true shit bunch of godd damn haters i dont care if you hate lost but god damn leeave the man alone hes one guy workin all night to some fucking music probably some fucking monkeys slappin on they cocks anyways back to what you all nigga if lost isnt good enough for you ill make some goddamn lost shit thats good enough for ya so you all can stick you call that twistin these guys workin all night tryin to impress some little pussy niggas that are just gonna talk shit about it the only niggas that watch lost are people that just wanna talk about it so fuckin nigga im done im all out call me
I think the flashbacks structure is a reponse to the traditional hollywood criticsm that continuous story line shows are bad because the episodes don’t stand on their own ie. no one would want to watch a rerun. the problem is that no one can care about these characters
Kate to Juliet: “Welcome to the land of not knowing what the hell is going on”. Oh gosh, aren’t the writers so clever? They manage to insert an inside joke into every episode. And Sawyer, the seasoned grifter, falls for the most transparent con job in history. Did he not think to ask someone about the ” banishment vote” earlier? And Hurley did it for the purpose of grooming Sawyer as the new leader? That’s great since Jack, Sayid, and Kate will be back soon — sort of pointless now. And I’ve got news — Sawyer WAS the leader and he became leader in his own way. Am I the only one who remembers his “there’s a new sheriff in town” speech? Now Sawyer is completely neutered.
The only reason I could stand to watch the entire episode was the possibilty of some girl/girl action with Kate/Juliet and/or Kate/Cassidy (although Cassidy doesn’t look as good as she did in previous episodes). Pretty convenient that there was a mudhole placed right in the path of Kate and Juliet so we could get to see them in a faux mud wrestling match. And I also wondered why the smoke monster didn’t just float right over the fence — when it first appeared in that scene, it was well above the height of the electrical barrier. I guess when logic gets in the way of the plot, the writers can just ignore reality.
It was nice to see Beth Broderick, although her screen time was very limited. I’d honestly be more interested in watching a program about her life as waitress in a greasy spoon than having to continue to endure the melodrama that Lost has become.
ha! mudhole…that cracked me up too. the only thing that could’ve made it better is if they’d stumbled upon a few fluffy pillows, strip to their undies and starting whacking each other …feathers everywhere! woo hoo!
Well, before they hit the mud hole they broke through a pane of glass being carried by two workmen, then upended a fruit cart and fell 5 stories onto a pillowy cloth awning which tore and deposited them into a garbage bin filled (luckily) with trash bags, which was on the back of a slow moving flatbed truck, which then rolled over into stacks of hay. You have to slow the frame count down to catch it all.
yah, I guess with locke leaving, they need to contrive some conflict, so having sawyer and jack fight over a leadership position neither of them want seems like “can’t miss TV!”
as for smokey…uh…duh! magic smoke can only keep its form up to 12 feet! now, if this were FLYING magic smoke, maybe then sure, it could go over. but we’ve seen nothing to indicate that this is the flying variety. just your average terrestrial magic smoke. DUH!
I’m sure over at the “Answers” section of the “Theoriesonlost” website they are posting something about the smoke monster like: in this episode we learned that the fence can stop the smoke monster— somehow– even though it can crush people and make them fly into the air, and the fact that SOUND SHOULDN’T DAMAGE SOMETHING WITHOUT INTERNAL ORGANS.
This is a great site, and I must say that I agree with everything, now for the bitching.
Well, this is my first comment here… well anywhere for that matter… concerning Lost. Let me begin by saying ‘Ugh’. And follow up with ‘FFS’. I’m not even going to comment on the show aired on April 4th. That would be like pointing out one piece of poo in a toilet. Rather look at the big picture… and flush. I was a die-hard fan of this show when it began, but it seems like the writers weren’t expecting it to last this long, or something. It almost looks like they’re going sooo far into character development ( We know ALL about the characters for crying out loud! What’s next, an episode dedicated to the time Hurley cheated on his SAT’s??? ) that they’ve lost sight of the main storyline, people Lost in the jungle??? Rescue??? WTF are those other ppl doing there etc etc…. yet I digress. I’m sure this has been said about a million times on this site.
Anyways, after 3 years of watching this melodrama and still not one answer. ( No, finding out the ‘others’ live on the island in houses, or that they have a ‘magic box’ is not answers, just more questions! ) Well, my rant is almost done, I just have to say, I’m giving this show until the end of this season. If nothing relevant is revealed, then I will be the first to gladly remove the TV reminder from my digital box and forget Lost ever existed.
I’d invite all you ‘Others’ to join me.
My 2 cents…
One more thing, I will mention this about the show April 4th. Why in the world would they go back to the beach?!?!? Very Aggravating! Instead go get your friends that are sleeping on the dirt and bring them back to ‘Other’ paradise. Running water, electricity and no monthly bills. Come on ! Of all the stupid decisions in Lost, that had to be one of the biggies for me.
Now I’m up to 4 cents…
no shit! plus…protection (apparently) from magic smoke!
Speaking of living arrangements. Why did they leave the cave with the waterfall?
Maybe they left the waterfall because of the dead bodies floating in it, loyally strapped into their seat belts.
Amen to that!
You’re not staggeringly rancid today? Or putrid?
Does that mean you enjoyed the episode?
Yeah. I actually found it entertaining. Not good. Not very inspired. Frustrating at times. But entertaining, nonetheless.
welcome aboard…and yes, while many of your points have been noted many times, it’s refreshing to see it through the eyes of the newly converted.
as for the flashbacks, I think you’re setting the bar way too high. last night we learned (and this is really REALLY clever!!), that kate’s and sawyer’s lives sort of crossed paths. and that kate ALMOST learned what sawyer’s name is years before she would’ve met him. WHEW! that was a close call! I mean, can you imagine?!?! hearing sawyers REAL name on the island, can you imagine the chaos?!?!…
“hold up! James Ford??? I ran into a woman a few years ago who I chatted with only brieflyl, but I have a really good memory, anyway, she mentioned she was con’d outta her life savings, by a guy she loved and HIS name was james ford!”
HOW CLEVER! but…almost clever…sadly, ::sigh:: her almost discovery was just a tease…now we’ll NEVER know if kate knew sawyer’s real name several years before they crashed on the island. another mystery unsolved : (
I agree! I actually liked the many intersections in the first season (or was it the second season…?) It seems like the lives of the main characters were constantly brushing up against each other.
I’m still pissed though. Give us Something… sheesh.
word!
“the first several times [it] was interesting…”
you can say this about many things on the show (intersections, flashbacks, con-jobs, nicknames, etc. etc.)
Yeah, I think that was yet another one of many lost opportunies passed up by the writers. Strange. It would only have added to the intringue on the island if Kate knew who Sawyer was and fell for him nonetheless.
The only Kate flashback I want to see is of that month she spent in an S&M club with a goat and a priest….come on!
I think all the criticisms are again (and as always) valid. formulaic, repetitive, same old tricks, etc.
here’s something I LIKED about last night’s epi…
Locke showing up and telling kate he was leaving. good b/c that’s a huge leap forward in a show that likes to cover every minute detail a dozen times so that every audience member has time to catch it. seriously…
we don’t know where they’re all going, why they chose locke, HOW they convinced him to go, etc. that’s one of the few instances in LOST where they actually let the viewer imagine some scenario that lead to that happening.
the downside is, we have 4 or 5 future episodes to look forward to explaining in every detail how locke came to that decision, with flashbacks and everything. (”hello, I’m John Locke, and today i’m going to leave with the others, and here’s why” ) woo hoo! now THAT’S exciting!
DUH
His contract expired.
Actually I heard they are going to bring him back but, use a different actor.
You can read all about it on fakelosttheory.com
hmmm, I didn’t read about a DUI…so perhaps you’re right!
Are you kidding me? That Locke and Kate scene was the most unnatural pathetic one around. This is what I saw last night.
Locke: Kate, I’m leaving with them.
Kate: Why???? Wait, before you can answer a really important question about motivation that would really be outside of your character to ignore, let me ask you another question that has NOTHING TO DO with our curiosity or the greater scheme against us so that we can’t get some real answers in this scene– Let’s see, what is a stupid question– oh yeah — where’s Jack?
Locke: Okay, I’ll answer that one because the writers have figured it out. They’re leaving Jack too.
Kate: Why?
Locke: Ummm. I know this is stupid, and believe me I am embarrassed as shit having to act out this pathetic script, but, your evil life as a murderer and shit– yeah– they won’t take you because of that– maybe you can understand that aside from the fact that the Other’s murder and torture and shoot people on their own and have no problem with it… But anyway, they won’t take Jack because of you– you’ve tainted him, or something, like we’re this Puritanical cult only in next season we will be something else. Anyway, the reason is inexplicable but for this episode I just have to act convincingly. See, I’m told in these notes to act as if I am part of the conspiracy right now, when in reality I have no idea what is going on. But back to my point, you can’t go with the Others.
Kate: Why the fuck would I want to? Remember how they are Evil? Why would anyone want to go with them– not that we even know where they are going —and why would these retarded writers figure that the audience would care?? I just want to get Jack and me back to that beach with the rotting bodies and the sand fleas so that I can have someone else to fuck other than Sawyer.
Locke: Oh. Okay. Well, in about 5 minutes, they are going to gas you so that you fall asleep. They could just tie you up and blindfold you– or hold a gun to Jack’s head and you’d surrender. You get captured really easily Kate. But for some reason, they are going to gas you while eerie Violin music plays, and then you’re going to wake up in the jungle handcuffed to Dr. McFrigid, you know, the bitch that used to cut off the corners of Jack’s sandwiches?
Kate: Yeah, I hate that bitch. She Judo flipped me earlier when I tried to– get this– attack her with a pool cue.
Locke: That was stupid. Anyway, she’s going to handcuff you to herself and pretend not to have the keys because– well you’re going to pretend to believe that she wanted to be “included” in the group of castaways, and she thought that risking her life handcuffed in the smoke monster’s back yard would accomplish that.
Kate: that’s stupid. she’s risking our lives so that we bond as a team. What is this, a corporate outing?
Locke: It’s okay, you’re going to fall in the mud, but other than that be fine. You’ll dive behind that sonic fence that was off for the last day or two– thereby allowing the Smoke Monster to eat people in the Other’s village, only it didn’t do that for some reason– and Dr. McFrigid will turn the fence back on.
Kate: Then what? Will I kill her?
Locke: No, you’ll have become trusted friends, and pretend to care about her. And you’ll rescue Sayid and Jack, who despite being gassed themselves and left ALONE IN A VILLAGE UNGUARDED, have stayed where they were.
Kate: What’s next.
Locke: Well, you’ll Trek back to the beach. You’ll have a schmaltzy reunion, you’ll all decide to live in the other’s village, and there will be an episode about trekking back to the other’s village.
Kate: so we’re just like, going in circles?
Locke: Yup.
Kate: When will this end?
Locke: I’ll come back in a few episodes, probably on my own, probably raving crazy making no sense. Or you’ll be stupid and try to “rescue me.” But nothing will progress beyond that. Then the others will probably raid the village, expelling everyone out and we’ll come back to the Beach we signed the 3 year lease for shooting on.
Kate: Can I just quit now?
Locke: No. You have no talent. And you’ll never get another job.
Kate: What do you mean I’ll never get another job?! I can always go back to doing this:
Kate phone sex
Oh mamma!
Ha! I knew Tyler was LOVE that! Her teeth don’t look so beaverish in that commercial. Maybe she had them capped to appear more rodent- like?…
Holy schnikes! I meant to say he would love that, not “was love that”… Seriously, an edit feature- for the love of all that’s Holy!!!
Though Tyler won’t admit it, I’m pretty certain he totally dug the mud-wrestling.
I dunno’… I’m pretty sure the man who slo-mo’d his Tivo to watch Nikki jiggle across the beach would have no problem admitting to liking that scene!
Oh ya, I have no trouble admiting it.
LOL. Seriously, you should write for that show, dude. Maybe my expectations are now so low for this show, that I actually found some of it entertaining. Not good. But entertaining. Like Patpond above, I did question why they would not want to remain in the comfort of indoor plumbing and electricity… Whatever. And as much as the whole Sawyer expulsion plot was a whole lot of drivel, I found the levity amusing. You just have to laugh at how bad this show has become. Kate re-setting Juliet’s disloquated shoulder: priceless. Kate and Juliet rolling in the mud: priceless. Sawyer holding Claire’s baby: priceless. I will stop now, before I puke all over my shoes.
“I did question why they would not want to remain in the comfort of indoor plumbing and electricity…”
Because, I hate to say it, this would result in even more complaining, Turk. If they were to all move into the Gilligan’s Island huts and shacks, a whole new contingent of dissatisfied viewers would complain because the castaways aren’t living off the land anymore.
I swear, this show is utterly fucked no matter what the writers do — people are going to be get pissed off at everything, no matter what. Kind of a shame.
Can’t argue with you, but they have nobody to blame but themselves for letting the situation get to this point.
well…I didn’t say it was well written/acted/thought out or natural…
I said, the fact that they didn’t spend a whole episode or three (from multiple perspectives) explaining how or why locke came to that decision, however lame that decision may be, is something different. they didn’t beat us over the head with their rationale. though…i’m quite certain they will soon enough.
My spidey senses are picking up a “Black Box” analogy. Either that or we get to see Locke kill his dad………… Probably the previous given it’s ABC.
*sigh* I don’t even know what to say about last night’s episode. When I start running out of things to say, well that’s just bad. The whole idea of tossing Kate & Dr. Botox out into the jungle seems an obvious contrivance by the Others to win Kate’s trust somehow. Otherwise why leave Jack & Sayid right where they fell? Plus, the whole: “you broke his heart” thing is just ridiculous. I mean Jack & Kate have known each other for all of 80 days & he’s getting his heart broken? I know he’s supposed to be a big pussy, but- c’mon already. Pure soap opera BS of the most annoying kind is what it is. On top of that, they took the one thing that was still kind of scary & mysterious about the island- the smoke monster; and showed us it is somehow incapable of floating more than 12 feet in the air (even though we’ve seen it in the tree tops about a hundred times). Why Lord, why would the writers think people weren’t just going to laugh at that? The ending was yet ANOTHER slow-mo montage of the survivors having a beach blanket feast (except the scowling Sun- oooh, forshadowing! I mean she should be righteous & indignant, she’s perfect except for that whole being an adulteress thing…). That worked great the first time, not so good the next 5 times though. Of course, in the promo we see Sayid going back to his old bad ass ways- that’s something to look forward too right? I’m sure Dr. Botox will just remind him about the pet goat of a woman he once tortured & he’ll start crying like a baby (cue flashback) instead of torturing information out of her.
Great points Nico. Sayid is nothing but a paper tiger from now on, with empty threats. “How do you know I won’t kill you if you don’t tell me?” Oh, I don’t know Sayid, maybe cause you say that to everyone, then back down like a little puppy. What I wouldn’t give to see him actually snap one of the others’ neck, repulican guard style. Maybe i could respect him again.
Yes, Dr. Botox will just pull out one of those: “Hang in there” posters with the fluffy kitten & Sayid will put his head in her lap & start weeping or somthing.
Nothing less would do to regain my respect.
“I mean Jack & Kate have known each other for all of 80 days & he’s getting his heart broken?”
worse, he seems to have rebounded ultra-quick with juliet in…a matter of days? it’s like they’re in junior high. stupid.
Done done done-ski. I’m done. I can’t take it anymore. Talk about a filler episode that did absolutely nothing.
The situation with Sawyer was so ridiculously contrivied and obvious it made Mr. Ford look like a complete panty-waste.
Kate and the “Trinity-From-The-Matrix-wannabe” wake up and spend an extended period of time together after being gassed, yet Jack and Sayid are still out for the count in the village?
The paper-thin plot lines and the amateurish dialogue has gone from being annoying to down-right insulting. Kate looks out the window and sees at least 10 of the Others dressing in full riot gear. [Cue scary music]
Michael had the right idea: Shoot everyone and get the hell off the island.
Sounds like a damned fine plan to me.
What’s up, all of you crazy bitches? I see that your hatred of Lost is still going strong, which could only herald the arrival of the famed JT, to combat all of this vitriol with some good old-fashioned Lost praise!
Let’s see. Where to start? I know that everyone’s all pissy about the Monster not being able to do a double-butterfly half-gainer and fly over the force-field pillars. I thought the same thing, actually. But we’ve got to realize that it’s not like every viewer is a complete expert on the functioning and brainpower of a smoke monster in a fictional television series. So far, we know nothing whatsoever about this monster, except for the fact it looks like smoke and is apparently way evil. Maybe the damn thing can’t float above a certain height. I didn’t design the monster, so I’m not sure, but that’s a possibility.
Like I’ve said, I dislike Kate, so I was surprised I didn’t loathe this episode. The flashbacks were really nothing too spectacular, but I’ve always viewed them as sort of a framing device that parallels the action on the island. They’re not that important, in many cases, so I don’t think about them too much.
Seems to be a lot of Juliet hatred out there, so let me be the first to stand up and say she is 200 times more interesting than Kate has been or ever will be. The actress is more talented, too, than Evangeline Lilly.
The Hurley/Sawyer thing? Come on. It was funny. It was comic relief. I can’t believe people are actually bitching about it. Sometimes, television shows have scenes that are just there to make the audience laugh! It was cute, you know? Cmon, you cynical bastards! Let the sun in a little bit! It’s fun!
The mud pit? Yeah, okay, a little contrived. But whatever. If people want to bitch about two relatively good-looking women mud-wrestling, then go right ahead. And the Locke reveal that he’s “leaving”? Excellent. Love the mystery of it.
As many of you know, I could give a hot fuck about the J/K/S romance, so I’m not going to even really mention it.
And yeah, a lot of people are complaining about the alleged meta portions of the episode (like Kate’s “welcome to the world of not knowing what the hell is going on). Dudes, if I was stuck on an island, with polar bears, a band of fanatical Others, an evil smoke monster, daily hallucinations, hatches, buttons, and all this other shit, then I’d be saying the same damn thing that Kate did. Not that unusual a bit of dialogue, really.
And I’m out!
If you notice I didn’t say anything about the whole Hurley/Sawyer thing (except that week ass ending luau). I’ve never minded the comic relief the show has chosen, even when the stuff has been rather groan inspiring. I’m of the mind that comic relief is a necessary part of dramatic shows to help relieve audience tension. It’s a tried & true formula that has its place. I would probably feel better about it if the dramatic part of the show was living up to its end of the bargain though. Honestly, Sawyer & Hurley are the two characters that haven’t changed very much to suit the whims of the writers this season (whether you like those characters to begin with is another story of course). So there- I said somthing positive about Lost, now I’m just going to sit & wait for Big Jim to jump out & holler at me!
Sawyer hasn’t changed much? You’re kidding, right? Have you even watched the show? Sawyer used to be a tough self-centered con-man. Now he’s a whiney metro-sexual who can be tricked by a fat guy with a single word vocabulary. I’ll agree with you that Hurley hasn’t changed. The LOST diet hasn’t helped him one inch.
The show’s writing is so crappy at this point they may as well show a turd floating in a toilet for an hour. It would probably be more entertaining.
Sawyer was always the “con man with the heart of gold” stereotype my friend. Even when he was hoarding guns or whatever he was hoarding that week, it always ended up with him breaking down & helping (otherwise do you really think he would have let Jack bully him so much the first two seasons? I guess if he was really that tough he just would have shot him). Does somebody whose strictly a “self centered con man” risk his life to try & save Walt? While I agree he hasn’t been as much of a badass this season; I think it’s mostly for lack of having anything to do except hump Kate & eat fish biscuits (and for this I blame the writers).
I may be alone around here, but I thought it was pretty cool to see Smokie again — I’d almost forgotten about him. And it was cool to hear him make the “LOST-zilla” noise after all this time. And the flashes of light — it was almost sorta like a clue to what Locke described when he looked it in the eye. And Juliet admitting that the Others don’t know what it is — wow, that was also almost sorta like a clue.
With everyone grumbling about how a 12 foot fence could keep him in, I wonder how the Dharma crew could have even made the fence in the first place. They musta had “sonic screwdrivers” to aim at Smokie when he attacked.
And what’s up with Jack, Kate, Sayid and Juliet simply walking back to the beach? Didnt Juliet “lock them in” behind the sonic fence? How do they get back out? If you really want to level the playing field with the Others, why not lure Smokie into their little suburb, and then lock him in on their side the fence? Then when they get back, they have a new issue to deal with! Nope, none of these castaways have a brain in their heads.
Smokie did add some edge to the episode but the tension was much undermined by Smokey inexplicable inability to cross the sonic fence. Also why would the Others go along with Juliet’s ploy to gain Kate’s trust if they intended to leave her behind. It’s so exhausting to think about all of the inconsistencies and holes in the plot. I’m torn. Do the writers deliberately intend to make their characters so stupid or do they assume the audience is that dumb? Look ma, no brain!
Yeah, I like that noise it makes- both organic & mechanical. However, the fence stopping it was silly & the visual effects were crap.
imagine if you will…
a fence that we don’t know much about…
apparently it has an affect on things that pass through it(or at least try)
now imagine some smoke like creature that can move pretty freely through the air & ground.
who’s to say that the fence we don’t know much about doesn’t have the abilitly to prevent the smoke thing that we don’t know much about to pass through it…
those are just 2 more unanswered questions.
all i wanna know is how are they gonna explain the smoke thing…& the damn fence.
jurassic park did a good enough job of explaining the existence of the dinosaur’s but…smoke monster thing?
they need to give the smoke a flash back.
(music fade)
Sawyer lights a cigarette with a match…a puff of smoke wafts into the heavens just as the meteor crashes ino Mr. Cluck’s…the smoke from the match mixes with an alien symbiote attached to the meteor, which attaches itself to peter parker, which he later gets rid of in a church, only to be discovered by eddie brock, which walt reads about in Amazing Spiderman #815, which desmond see’s in the future, which is really the past…& unfortunately though charlie dies(killed by the smoke monster) just before explaining how the fence works, which by the way, he learns from ethan in the season finale, thats hows the flashback of him & clare getting kidnapped…by ethan…
BRAVO!!! Now go straight to Losttheories.com & post that bad boy!
Nothing much to add. I think I’m getting Lost viewer fatigue. I agree with RobbyLove Re Sawyer’s evisceration as a credible con-man. And I’m with JT on this one. The Hurley/Sawyer stuff added much needed levity to an episode that takes itself much too seriously. There’s nothing like BBQ boar and Dharma beer to bring good cheer and unity to the demoralized. The show is so spectacularly rancid that my intelligence is no longer insulted by such scenes as Kate and Juliet frolicking the mud or the smoke monster inexplicably neutralized by the sound barrier. Come on! Kate re-setting Juliet’s disloquated shoulder: priceless. Sawyer holding Claire’s baby: priceless. The Others putting on gas masks for no good reason under the sun: priceless. The one thing that really burned my ass about this episode was the emasculation of Sayid, to borrow our friend Laurent’s expression. WTF was up with that?!
Sayid to Jack: She is not coming
Jack: yes she is.
Sayid: Why?
Jack: Because she got left behind like us… [or some such nonsense to that effect].
Sayid: [wearing inscrutible expression on his face which might be contempt, anger, puzzlement, docile resignation or a fart]
No wonder Locke got out! It must be really demeaning for the actors who have actual brains to have to utter such drivel.
I have to admit, that scene you described between Jack and Sayid was funny (although not in the way the writers intended I’m sure). It reminded me of a time when I went golfing with my buddies and one of them wanted to bring his girlfriend along — not to golf, just ride in the golf cart and watch. We were all like “why?” just as Sayid was. The dude gave us a look that said “Do you really need to ask why? Just look at her”. It led to a pretty miserable round of golf with no drinking, swearing, or throwing golf clubs.
um Oh, sorry guys, we actually forgot that the monster could, umm, fly in an Eco episode. Shit Damon it was his idea about, uhm, the barrier y’no. hm i guess we kinda should make an, uhm, explanation. cus they, y’no those kiddies are going shitload us questins. could ya help me with that thing? don’t tell Damon! i suck at writing ,y’no. and you were blaming me for my bad grammar!
BOOOOO!!! SSSSSSS!!! *throws rotten tomatoes* YOU SUCK!!!
That dude’s going to have a heart attack when he realizes he’s not that funny.
once again…how dare you. obviously i’m the real carlton. just click the link. it takes you to the official lost site. knock it off already.
Mr. Cuse
ahhh you little fuckers, you are so funny really.
you think this show is so stupid yet you think a producer of lost has something clever to say here..
i cracked the shit out of ya.
your just a bunch of idiots who sit here and try to make fun out of nothing and based on nothing. write totally pointless “satiric” dialogues and stupid referencing about real life stereotypes and crap. you obviously just overanalize shit, you watch them playing tennis and you talk about stereotypes with a smart look, where nothing such was intended.
omg that guy knows about a shacky camera technique! oh he is definately smart. its not like anyone on the earth gives a shit about shacky camera.
Instead of trying to be funny think about your arguments towards lost. you really have nothing to say except “LOST SUCKS” you know constantly saying sucks is very amateurish and silly. this is all you can say about an episode if you can’t come up with some really legitimate criticism.
i like the suggestion at the end…instead of blah blah blah, think about blah blah blah.
using the the word amateurish is silly
i’ll hold him down…you guyz do your worst.
p.s….stop claiming to be me. i’m the real Carlton.
Sincerly
The Real Carlton
Don’t hate me, peeps, but I don’t totally disagree with this guy. But I will admit, “Carlton,” there are (I feel like I type this message every single week) several people here who have voiced very legitimate criticisms of the show.
I’ll also agree, though, that there are people who visit this site and type drivel like “This show officially sucks now” or ” because he said and he would never say that!” or the ever-popular “not a single answer questioned in this episode”! Those complaints suck and are utterly useless and whiny.
As far as the satiric dialogues go and shit like that, yeah, I’ve got to agree that they’re really not useful to this site, and don’t foster any real discussion (sorry if I’m hurting anyone’s feelings — maybe I just have a different sense of humor). I just worry that this site is going to turn into some kind of “LOST SUXORZ!” site.
Also, this one postscript doesn’t really belong in this comment, but people have been talking about how Hurley hasn’t lost any weight. I re-watched this week’s episode, and the dude is clearly thinner than he ever was. It’s pretty obvious.
I agree that the Hurley not losing weight complaint is silly. First off, you’re quite correct: it looks to me like he’s lost about 30 or 40 lbs, which on a man that big just doesn’t look like a whole lot. Secondly, being the “fat gut” is part of Hurley’s character archetype. He wouldn’t be the same character if he suddenly looked like he got gastric bypass surgery. Again, whether or not you like the character is a whole other ball of wax…
See, I think the fake fan fiction that pops up here is pretty funny. It’s a whacked out version of the crap that shows up on Lost fanboy/girl sights & also parodies sights like Losttheories.com with all their absurd, over-intellectual ideas about the show.
my your clever, you should actually write for lost. You definitely fooled us all.
Tool.
One last thing:
Hurley is now annoying as shit.
He’s always been annoying. It’s just that you now have the context to properly evaluate his character. And I’m sorry, but that dude did not lose a single pound. Not that it matters or that I actually care but he is more massive than ever. This is both consistent with the jolly fatty stereotype that he is playing and internally consistent with the fact that there is Dharma food and wild boar a-plenty to be had on the island. Hurley stopped being interesting when they killed off his only chance of ever getting laid… or was it when we found out Cheech was his father?
But remember, ever since the sky turned purple….. Oh, who gives a fuck, maybe they are still dropping cans of spam from parachutes.
Hurley was a nice distraction when there was plot in this show and actual suspense. Now that he is a plot device himself, it’s just stupid.
I’m telling you these writers have some viral marketing firm monitoring the message boards for viewer’s opinions, and try to throw people a bone– and fail of course. They like Hurley, they think, give them more Hurley. People want to see Kate or Sawyer naked, they give you some Kate/Sawyer bearcage action. It’s run just like a Soap Opera “OMG, Tanya please show me the survey results on Jack’s new haircut in episode 31!! Do they want it shorter or longer??” “Viewers loved the Sheriff character and thought she was Evil. GIVE HER 3 FLASHBACKS STAT!”
Chuckle. Well put, Evil. My theory is that the writers have simply been pushed out of the creative process altogether because of the unexpected success of the show. Now the show is most definitely “managed” by committee and the writers, assuming there are any left, are mere tools who manufacture plot and assemble dialogue based on the stats, survey results and polls. The irony is that this has wrecked the show.
i say…
i dug it.
but why.
probably cuz the last one i saw was expose.
who knows what lock’s up to? good, bad, himself, the losties…the island…we’ll find out. we might not like it but…for now there’s a chance that they’ll do something worth while with it…maybe lock will go on a killing spree & put a dent in the population of the others…time will tell.
who knows what juliet’s up to? juliet does. we’ll find out. in time.
jack & sayid knocked out & back at the village…sure. sayid woke up & did some exploring. understandable. jack didn’t wake up. he was probably crying all night about the fact that lock blew up his sub. maybe we’ll never know.
smoke monster thing…whatever. what the fuck is it? that’s the only reason i watch the damn show. i just wanna know what the hell the smoke monster is. that’s it. answer all the questions you want. that’s the only one i give a shit about. maybe they’ll get to that oneday.
hurley/sawyer/evil eyed sun…simple filler/comic relief/setting up her future episode dealing with her new info about sawyer & charlie…
& the flashbacks…
fuck the flashbacks. i’ve always said fuck the flashbacks. yeah i know. they do this, & they do that… but i don’t give half a shit about this or that…i just wanna know about the smoke monster. PERIOD
basically…expose sucked balls, time will tell, we’ll find out, maybe we’ll never know, maybe they’ll get to that one day, fuck the flashbacks, & what the hell is the smoke monster? QUESTIONMARKEXCLAMATIONMARK?!
Wow, someone really wants to know about the smoke monster.
me too!
I’m…lonely…
Duuude… what happened to yr face in that one shot? Ouch!!! Did yr old lady smash ya with a fryin’ pan cartoon style?
BBC is good because you can have 12 episodes in an entire series.
Cable lets you get away with say… 13 episodes per season.
Lost had so much potential and it blew it all.
Also, all the flashbacks are shot on Hawaii too… just made to look like other parts of the world (Africa, Korea, Idaho, etc.)
I noticed that the shots of “Idaho” looked suspiciously like a sugar cane or pinapple plantation…
Yeah, the one from this week that made my wife and I laugh (we live on Oahu) was the shots of “Iowa” where they keep all the shots tight so that you couldn’t see the mountains in the background and the Iowa license plate thrown onto the dashboard of the tow truck just to add to the realism.
Did I say Idaho? I meant Iowa of course… One more time- GIVE ME AN EDIT FEATURE OR GIVE ME DEATH!!!
You really are trying to make me work more aren’t you?
Well, I s’pose so…
Sawyer puts on a pig roast with unprepared pork. That stuff needs to be hung, chilled and cured properly…
As for what’s left in big plots to be revealed - Sawyer and Hurley are half brothers - Cheech is the father.
Desmond and Charlie are half brothers too. Locke is the father.
And so it goes on and on…
Why has it become obligatory to play Patsy Cline’s “I Go Walking” in scenes with Kate? Why do characters refuse to speak the obvious, or ask the obvious? Kate could have said, “Mom, Billy-Bob tried to rape me!”, but no. They create false tension.
We learned t