Jan 31 - Return to Suck Island
It’s baaaack. In just 22 short days, we will all be tuning in to another season of Lost, and another season of saying - WTF??? It has really been so long, I can hardly remember what happened or where we left off. Seriously, all I can remember is something about a bridge, a nirvana song, and flash forward (or was it backward). Who knows. The biggest question in my mind though, is will the regulars come back? No, not Kate or Sawyer or the dreamy doctor. I’m talking about Nico, Stickman, TheLostskeptic, Preevyet, Evil, Turkey and all the rest. I hope everyone finds their way back so we can get this party started again!
Written by Tyler on January 9th, 2008 with
68 comments.
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Aren’t they on strike?
I look forward to shooting down everyone’s asinine criticisms about the show this season.
JT! Nice to have you back.
Believe it or not, I totally missed this place. Honestly did. And though this may stun some people, I actually *already* have some shit to complain about for this upcoming season of Lost. I’ll wait until things get a little more active here before I voice my concerns (cough cough THE FUCKING KATE/JACK/SAWYER LOVE TRIANGLE IS COMING BACK AGAIN COUGH COUGH)
Even though we didn’t rank enough to have our names listed in the blog…
we’ll be back. I actually got season 3 for Christmas and we’ve been watching to refresh our memories. I’m looking forward to the 4th season starting up and the fun of this site.
Mrs. Meister
Meister! How could I forget you?
:)
Thanks Tyler, I feel all loved and appreciated now.
Mrs. Meister
ignore
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Wow, it’s finally here. I may actually watch the first episode in HD this season (depends on reception, sometimes it’s spotty). I’ve been away a while harping on a heroes blog among others and also have taken the last month off work so my blog time has dwindled. I will be back to comment on the first episode or two, but due to a career change (I’ve switched from Air Force to Army) I may not be able to watch or even get online to read this blog after episode 2.
I will say I just saw a preview on ABC and unfortunately it looks good. But if they hold true to form, the previews are the best part (one line in the preview was “you really want to know why we’re here?” which you know will go unanswered). Only problem is with no end in sight for the writers strike means 8 episodes and over. With a potential return in the fall for the second half of season 4, or possibly an extended (ie full 22-24 episode) season starting fall 2008. Who knows, it’s been three months and the talk shows have given in and a few production companies. I think when the new shows finally dry up and the midseason replacements go away, the studios will give in. Biggest thing is the new pilot season starts soon, without writers there will be no new shows next year. That’s when I think they’ll give in, but it will probably be too late to restart the season.
Well, back to work Monday so I need to get to bed, I’ll be lurking here until episode one. See you all then.
I’m looking forward to seeing all of our favorite characters: jack’s beard, sawyer’s hair, hurley’s sideburns (what’s up with my hair fetish?). alas, no ana lucia mustache.
Don’t forget Sawyer’s chin growth, not quite a goatee but more evolved than 4 o’clock shadow. And (sigh), how I will miss the Hobbit’s bedhead…
what…i’ve been…sleeping? (yaaaaaaaawwwnn)…what’d i miss? man…i had some crazy dreams.
i dreamed that there were some wicked fires in my neck of the woods…and that hollywood was on vacation…and that i was really excited about some movie called cloverfield?…and…you were there…and you…oh and…i had a nightmare…my xbox 360 had three red lights on the front and i hadn’t even owned it for a month…i shipped it off & it never came back…then the dream got really weird…my music won some awards…and lost was gonna come back…and be worth watching…
freakin wierd.
i’m glad to be awake.
i’m gonna go take a shower now…i smell awful
funny about cloverfield…my buddy and I are under the impression that the trailers/teasers (which are pretty darn cool!), are probably the best thing about the movie. who isn’t 99% sure that flick doens’t know how to end?!?!
Imagine that, a trailer/teaser that is the best part. You know for sure it is from the creator of Lost.
Worst teaser they’ve had IMHO was the helicopter. You think, wow a helicopter, someone knows where they are! Then it crashes, the chick who parachuted down dies, and we’re back to square one, only with more questions (who was she, why did she have a picture of desmond, etc).
Lost it all about teasers. But, according to Matt Fox in EW, knowing when the show ends now is allowing the producers to finalize the mystery and start revealing pieces. My guess is in the 2 hour premiere, there’ll be about 30 seconds worth of valuable information as the whole island mystery. And by episode 8 (they’ve hinted that it has a cliffhanger in case the strike goes on) we might know something. But I’ll reserve final judgement after I see the opener.
BTW, I plan to see Cloverfield so I’ll write something up when I do see it this weekend.
I think I’ll pass on Cloverfield. I espcially like these comment I read on the movie.
” Never before have I been in a theater where almost the entire audience booed and walked out… someone threw their drink at the screen.. On our way out (we didnt stay till the end) one guy was yelling at the manager demanding his money back.. People were warning others in line for the next showing that the movie sucked…. ”
” Do not waist your $11.00 going to see this movie. Just stay home put a Godzilla DVD in the player and shake your head.. Turn down the sound make alot of grunting sounds and say things like “whats up wit dat” or ‘WTF”.. Dont look directly at the TV… There, You have just seen Cloverfield…. ”
Maybe I’ll get it on Netflix but it sure sounds like a Blair Witch Project meets Godzilla rip off.
The trick with these movies is trying to make it somewhat plausible despite the complete absurdity of it all. A few very skilled can do such. Think Boyle in ‘28 days Later’, or that Spanish director of ‘The Others’. ‘Cloverfield’ employs the gimmick of voyeurism through the intimacy of home-video recording, a la ‘Blair Witch’, the problem is that there is no reason as to why people running for their lives would be so intent on videotaping a giant monster on the loose. The video camera in ‘Blair Witch’ was the backbone, the film couldn’t exist without it. ‘Cloverfield’ fails in this regard.
Again, in ‘Cloverfield’, if you have an ounce of intelligence you are left asking yourself…
WHY:
-The military waited forever before using jets, missiles and bombs.
-The protagonist’s phone is the only one in NYC with reception (blatant Nokia tie-in)
-the protagonist does not have to first charge the battery looted from an electronics store
-the same phone works in a bombed out subway stop under a poster for (you guessed it) Nokia
-the military would care in a city of millions upon millions that one injured person is left behind
-they would all follow an indestructible monster with an infestation of extra-terrestrial bomb laying ticks to rescue a girl who couldn’t wait one day after break-up to get a new boyfriend
-the monster hates Manhattan so much, beyond the usual reasons, that is stays there on its rampage (like the 80s Video Game). It destroys the Brooklyn Bridge yet never ventures over there. Perhaps it’s the spawn of a crusty sock mixed with H spoon residue left under some hipster’s bed in Williamsburg.
-how so many military personnel made it there so quickly when they are all deployed in Iraq and when there reaction time has been found to be measured in days not minutes as evidenced after Katrina.
-a character does not bleed to death, or at least become incapacitated by rebar penetrating her upper chest and lung cavity.
-the characters don’t all perish after being slammed from 50 plus stories by a high-jumping monster that grabs their chopper out of the sky and throws it into central park.
-as cliché do only the pilots and military personnel perish in the chopper crash
??????
I’m sure there are more, but why bother, this movie just asks you to surrender all thought while dazzled by the effects.
JJ comes clean, or no?
www(dot)ted(dot)com/index(dot)php/talks/view/id/205
I could only get through the first 3 minutes. Does he ever make a point?
Latest news is the writers may end their strike soon since the Directors signed a deal. Could mean a full season for Lost. Lots of suckage to write about.
Tyler, you hit the nail on the head! He does not have a point. In fact he emphatically believes that things are more interesting without a point. He brays on and on about how mystery is the goal, and not the answer to it (hence is unopened magic box). He also admits that the show is just ad hoc. Now everyone knows that there are no answers, and that he’s just working to keep everyone guessing. He explained his schtick. So all guesswork and theories are all bull shit. The only good thing this show provides is the criticism that this site provides when we catch them in their sloppiness when making more and more mysteries that lead viewers by the nose.
I don’t think you understand what he was trying to say. The greatest flaw of the American people is their hastiness to recieve their gratification; we want results, NOW. The point of a television show is to entertain, is it not? Abrams suggests that the greatest entertainment is in the guessing. Not instant gratification: something that you keep tuning in for, something to wonder about and think over, a show that will stay with you all week between the episodes. Talking about what you think might happen, what your theories are, thinking up theories, it’s all part of the intrigue. That is what makes Lost special. The mystery is more important than the actual answer…the answer is boring, the mystery is entertainment.
so far they havent provided any answers. only more questions
and YET i still enjoyed the last 3 season so much.
why do u guys take things seriously? just sit back and enjoy the show
and hopfuly they will explain everything in the last season and we all gonna say ” awww… that’s really clever! ”
even if they blow the whole island up and didnt explain anything
it will still be a great journey we had through the whole series. as i said i enjoyed the past 3 seasons.
for me LOST is basicly about the characters and how they interact with eachother. i reached a point where i dont care i just wanna watch them even if they put them in a reality tv show and make them do nothing.
yeah that’s pretty much it. and that’s why lost has many fans. cuz of the characters . not the story.. the story is just a bonus !
btw if they start giving answers now they will give away what’s goin on. ppl are smart and they gonna know it. i mean . its like ur asking them to kill the show by giving answers now.
so shut up . and sit back . and enjoy the show !!
This is absurd. Let me try to wrap my mind around this. You just want to watch “them” even if they were placed in a reality show where they were made to do nothing?
I won’t mince words. You are a complete imbecile, a retard.
Does your remote short out from all the drool coating it after an episode of ‘Lost’?
Why should only the government take advantage of such an apathetic populace? Is it any wonder why the entertainment industry gets away with so much pandering to the moronic masses.
Thank you for vindicating my already intense cynicism.
I dont see what’s so “retard” about what i said.
i think what’s retard is if you believe a tv show suck , and then you go create a website and gather ppl around it and watch EVERY episode just to point out mistakes in that show.
and you knew what i meant but ur just playing with words , what i meant by “reality show” was the way the characters interact with eachother in “itself” is entertaining , the drama , the romance , the funny moments , the flash backs where we get to know why they act in a certine ways in the island , and next season we’ll have flashforwards, i mean for god sake this show has more than , i dunno 11 main character ? in the same island ? that’s “alone” is gotta be fun for sure. got it ?
and not to mention the other’s and the monster and the whole weird stuff that’s going on in the island.
im not saying you have to like it , u dont , but that doesnt make it suck at all. just google “lost” and see how many fan made videos and websites and forums in all languages dedictated for the show and how many theory’s has been put about the story so far.
if that’s means something , it defintely mean the show doesnt suck.
“im not saying you have to like it , u dont , but that doesnt make it suck at all. just google “lost” and see how many fan made videos and websites and forums in all languages dedictated for the show and how many theory’s has been put about the story so far.”
-This quote, along with the prevalence of organized religion, further bolsters my theory that 95% of the global human population is mercilessly stupid.
And yet, you watch, mon ami. You invariably return for more and apparently deem the show worthy of your limitless public scorn. Something must feed your fascination, non? Et puisque vous daignez vous joindre à nous, rebienvenue.
Greetings everyone. I have actually missed wasting time here. I look forward to a fun-filled half season of circular logic, sometimes cutting reparté, endless pedantry (see below) and always tiresome political debate, although I would prefer to avoid the latter. Perhaps Preevyet, our resident idiot-savant, can open the first epi discussion with scintillating commentary about boobs followed by some reflections on the Hegelian teleoligical vision as it applies to Kate’s boobs. Kate not Kant. Herr Tyler, thank you for the forum. Oh, and LMeister and Mrs. Meister: love me tender (cuddly smile).
Wow, you come out firing and the season hasn’t even started.
And you should know I’m more fascinated with her rabbit teeth than her boobs.
Now I shall read on…
First, Laurent, welcome back. Second, you can’t use “Retard” you have to use “intellectually challenged”.
Ok, saw Cloverfield. Good movie, don’t go if you get motion sickness. It’s definitely made by the Lost people. Lots of initial mystery, lots of questions pop in your head, then the movie ends abruptly with no answers. It’s also very short for today’s movie standards, the dang previews were nearly as long. After 17 minutes of previes, the movie only lasted about 75 minutes, give or take minute or two. At $7, that’s about a dollar evey 10 minutes. Anyway, it was good, special effects were great, the Army tries to save the day. I’d say save your money, but somethings need to be seen on the big screen, I think this is one of them.
10 days to suck time, don’t miss the hour preview at 8E/7C before the real sucking begins.
I went to see it as well. while agreeing with laurent’s list of ‘leap o’ faith’ moments, I thought it was entertaining. not scary. not awesome. not ‘best…movie…ever’. but entertaining.
I give them props for making a godzilla movie with a needed improvement: the little spider guys that brought the action to the ground, hand 2 hand level.
the characters were mostly forgetable…and the fact that they had a chance to get to a safe haven (i.e. New Jersey!) but instead trekked to mid-town was obviously a plot device to keep them in manhattan with the creature (!!!)…AND, I thought the same thing about the battery (no charge!). and also thought that some walkies and flashlights would’ve been better to loot. ah well.
Hey everyone - good to be back.
I actually figured I’d check in to see what everyone was saying about Cloverfield, not necessarily because I couldn’t wait one more week to bag on Lost.
I saw the movie in a theater of very disenchanted movie goers by the end of it all.
I went into it thinking “I can’t believe i’m paying or an 87 minute movie” (which is what it was listed as). Having started my stopwatch as soon as the movie started, I was even more pissed when, at the moment the screen goes black at the end, a whopping 73 minutes of movie going experience.
The main problem I saw was that JJ tries to make the “gimmick” (in this case, the 1st person perspective) the centerpiece and hope it will overshadow the fact that there is no story tying the whole thing together (sound familiar? Give the guy credit, he has a formula and he sticks to it.)
Anyway, good to hear from everyone. I missed this place. Looking forward to suffering through the new season. On a bright note, we haven’t had a single Lost cast member get arrested or be the victim of a house fire or home invasion here in Hawaii in forever so Lost hasn’t been thrown in our face on the front page of the Honolulu Advertiser on a daily basis.
Glad your back Stickman. It’s good to have our local source!
OMG you actually *saw* Cloverfield? Werent you just warned off by the serious craptitude eminating from it’s trailer?
“2 hours ago, some invisible smoke monster from a shitty television drama attacked the city of New York. Now we’re going to show it break things and people who should be running will instead tell it from the perspective of a Blair Witch Project star down on their luck”
JJ Abrams is a hack. His work is only deep enough to sustain a commercial. He should be working on Madison Avenue, not in Hollywood.
I love you. I watched the first 1.5 seasons of lost voraciously on DVD before I realized that nothing was happening, that it was all crap. I feel so validated not being the only one. heh
welcome…you’re not the first or only one to ever google ‘lost sucks’ !! : )
Oh I’ll be here. And here is my first prediction:
1. the “rescuers” arent rescuers at all but just more Eeeeevil people that are more evil than the Others (who aren’t evil) who were the Eeeevil people to replace the Tailaways (who weren’t evil either).
2. The rescuers will turn out to not be Eeeeevil in fact, but just more people.
3. The rescuers will be replaced by some more Eeeeevil people, who at this point will probably be baby-eating ninjas from Evilistan.
4. Locke, Sawyer, name some more characters, will change sides, and there will be tension, or in the words of Stewie Griffin “some friends become enemies, some enemies friends? characters are better for the experience, emm?”
5. Nothing will be revealed, except for that giant radar station that is tracking the angels and the LOOK A BIG SHINY RED OBJECT ON THE WALL! GO GET IT BOY, GET IT GET IT! ROOOF!
dingos dressed up as ninjas
That would actually make a lot of sense to the LostFanBoys who would undoubtedly point to Vincent the Golden Retreiver as evidence of some canine conspiracy. How much time was wasted on that damn dog exactly?
Gonna go out on a limb here…Ben says something that isn’t true…Jack and Sawyer argue…stuff we wanna know about is never mentioned…new inexplicable stuff happens and is never explained…Jack and Locke argue…we seem to be getting close to an answer but never do…ratings continue to decline, or if they don’t it’s because everything else on is a rerun…I keep watching and the only way I can stop from hating myself for it is to make fun of the stupid damn thing.
Chuckle. Nicely done Dirk. Your predictive powers are impressive. I would only add: Sayid stands around baring his teeth, Claire continues to pout with a slightly puzzled look on her face, only momentarily altered by the news of the Hobbit’s death, and another layer of obfuscation is added to the plot with the arrival of more idiots on the island.
More people, more evil than the last. Soon enough it’ll be like Dragonball Z. The evil people will become begrudgingly good, then genuinely good, then uselessly, fawningly good. It’s a… well, a good pattern
It’s over Nine Thousand!
Good to be back, though I only posted a bit before.
For the last several months, I have tried to banish all thoughts of “Lost” from my mind, but, while watching a “Monk” marathon, I kept noticing various actors playing minor roles who also have bit parts on “Lost”. A couple I noticed were the “other” dude who wears the eyeliner and the other “other” whom the plastic faced blonde chick shot on the beach — Leonard or something.
Anywhooogle, I can’t quite remember where “Lost” left off, something about being “rescued” and a flashback actually being a flashforward. Didn’t Jack grow a fake beard and revealed the secret behind is ultra-cool tattoos too? And oh yeah, Hurley’s dad is Cheech (or was it Chong?). I also recall that Henry, the leader of the “others” (he had another name but I can’t remember it now) was built up for more than a season as the island svengali who seemed to be able to manipulate everyone like children, but in the season finale, he got his ass beat down hard and seemed to really have no power or significance at all. I hope I have it all down correctly.
Yeah, you pretty much have it down. Ben (aka Not Henry Gale) turned out to be nobody, although he does have this cool invisible friend, Jacob, that can make things shake and Ooooooooooooooooooooh Scaaaaaaaaaaaaryyyyyyy.
We also learned that Kate does sex-chat line commercials.
Also, we learned that JJ Abrams can’t sustain a movie any more than he can sustain a TV show, and that he’s going to have to get a bodyguard.
I love that people are now getting motion sickness watching cloverfield. How many times do I have to say, shaking a camera around is a lame attempt to create false drama! If you can’t create enough drama with the actual story, keep trying to write better, don’t just shake the friggin camera more!
LOST MUSIC PREDICTION FOR THIS SEASON:
for pensive moments when nothing is really going on: one harp string going DING DING DING DING
for the inevitable running through the jungle with no purpose: orchestral allegro with heavy use of timpani, brass, and heavy breathing
for the BIG REVEAL OF SOME NEW MYSTERY (who knows, it could be a dry cleaners in the middle of that big green field under the mountain they keep using, or a TIMES SQUARE sign washed up on the beach) this is the same music as always, the big string portamento that sounds like deeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
WHAT AM I MISSING HERE?
Oh, I forgot the HOLLOW POP sound just before a commercial. Just to let you know that, you know, the drama is over.
God, this new season is going to be incredible. I can’t wait! Who’s with me?
Yeah!
Incredible to a 16th century aboriginal planted in front of a TV for the first time?
Or like, incredible to a modern television-watching Human who already saw Gilligan’s Island (and thought it was better)
Seriously, what makes this season so special?
Was being facetious, dude. Having not seen any of the new season-four episodes, and considering my only real knowledge of the upcoming season is based on screenshots and ABC’s press releases, I have no idea of how next season is going to be and cannot divine that it will indeed be incredible. The season may be dedicated solely to cute little kittens, for all I know.
It will probably rule, though — at least to me — because, as I thought everyone here knew, I still like the show and am not on a mad crazy scavenger hunt to find things wrong with it. I think it has something to do with my inferior brain, maybe.
I missed this place.
Thats why we need JT around here, to be the yin to our yang.
Totally. We need someone to beat up once in a while. Gondor needed Mordor, Harry needed Voldemort, the castaways needed Gilligan. need i say more?
So I’m a yang?
Some people just don’t “get” you.
Just dropped by to see what you people were up to. Just went to the Fuselage — those guys are such dorks. Looking forward to laughing it up with your guys for 8 weeks. Are there any plans for a WhyStarTrekSucks web site? Should be an appropriate thing around the next new years. Can’t wait for everyone’s hilarious dismantling on Friday morning — it’s been the most entertaining part of LOST.
Well, there already exists the rumours that the next Star Trek, an Abrams production, will use time-travel as a core plot device. Something about Romulans traveling back to whack Kirk. Hopefully, Linda Hamilton (however, it’s been leaked that it will be Spock) will show up first in a 4×4 with a duffel full of phaser rifles and photon grenade launchers. Although, all will be forgiven if a young Ricardo Montalban character is shown developing rage as a direct result of feeling unloved by his father as played by Cheech Marin.
Crap! I always end up responding to a post when what I want to do is post anew. But see my reintroductory drivelling above. Peace out.
Ah yes, Turkey is back. The pieces are all falling into place.
And you call me the idiot savant.
The NY Times had a story today about a marketing company assisting in the production of Lost.
Something about making the show easier to follow for future syndication. Making it easier to jump right in without having say, watched, or cared, from the beginning.
I admit I was duped, yet I had sense to acknowledge it and to seek out those feeling likewise, those who won’t rest until everyone comes to their senses and learns why lost sucks.
The more I learn about the inner machinations in this giant pointless marketing experiment-ostensibly a TV program-the more I detest it.
I am so deeply ashamed.
I read that roughly the same scheme was adopted by the manufacturers of Hero: a team of marketing consultants. And look at the result.
This may not exactly be appropriate. You’ve been warned…
The stupid Cloverfield trailer gave me an idea for a porn movie. The story is: some people are making a porn movie with a shaky cam. All of a sudden there’s a huge groan and the whole place shakes like there’s been an earthquake. The porn people just shrug and get back to making porn. Alternate ending: it turns out they’re the ones who made the noise.
Sigh… if I ever meet Abrams on the street, I’m going to ask him, Seven style, “What’s in the *box*, JJ?”
“My grandpa Shlomo’s head… he just never believed in me.”
Abrams has the upper hand! Fall back, Abrams has the upper hand!
cool. ten more minutes of island plot. let’s add more colors to this brown paint we’ve been mixing for the past three years.
Here I thought it wouldn’t suck, but alas they do no disappoint on the suck meter. Was the second hour new or just a recap of the 3rd season? All that buildup and nothing, yet again. Thanks JJ for screwing me twice in less then 13 days.