5 well deserved weeks off
That really sucked. A 97% flashback episode. Wow. Just wow. Frankly, finding out how Michael came to be on the boat was the least of the mysteries I ever wanted revealed. And what’s with the gay other? Is lost trying to go after a new demographic? Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but it just seemed out of place in the episode. Then in the last 30 seconds Carl and frenchie die? That’s the big cliffhanger? Who the hell cares. I would have been more upset if the Korean panda salesman had died. Thank God we have a month off from this crap. 9.9 on the suck-o-meter.
Written by Tyler on March 21st, 2008 with
190 comments.
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previously on lost: we’re gonna show ya what happened two years ago because you probably forgot (we hope). it makes revisionist history easier at least. oh shit we said that out loud! fuck!!!!
i laughed 4 times in the first 2 minutes. hurley had a good line. “dude we knew that, like, episodes ago”
alex was lucky they had a spare rhinoplastologist on the island. i know you thought she was hotter, you just weren’t quite sure why. so you’re welcome.
okay who was waiting for the back the future sequence when mikey was about to commit suicide? they don’t make flux capacitors like they used to.
you people?!?!?! what do you mean by you people!??!?!
do commercials seem louder these days? and fuck that VW commercial is annoying.
abrams: “plot!?”
sayid is cool.
ohhhhhhhh she’s still alive.
*alex was lucky they had a spare rhinoplastologist on the island. i know you thought she was hotter, you just weren’t quite sure why. so you’re welcome.* - THANKS!
okay who was waiting for the back the future sequence when mikey was about to commit suicide? - ME!
you people?!?!?! what do you mean by you people!??!?!
- YOU PEOPLE…I LOVE IT!
hahaha , wow listen to this bullshit you guys post. This gets more halarious the more i read. Your like those fuckin homeless punks and lazy ass fat shits who claim “society” is bringing us down and fuck the government lol. lost is an amazing show , and if you have nothing better to do then bash it … i seriously could give a shit about how much a loser you lol. gg … ty for posting your guys hatred for lost , really made me laugh
And you have nothing better to do than troll anti-Lost sites and make nearly coherent sentences. Now go upstairs and tell mommy and daddy that you really told off a bunch of people online. Ah, to be 17 and retarded….
??? are you an idiot? why does everyone one this site watch a show they hate, and talk about it in their spare tine, then any1 who disagrees is made fun of cus he doesnt want take the time to type properly to a fag like u. Lost is awsome, name a better show u impatient bastards
Wow, another pre-adolescent fanboy moron has joined us for an episode! Welcome, fool.
Lost sucks.
Some of the episodes S4 have been OK. Well 1 anyway… the time travel one. Downloaded E8 on bittorrent. Got 10 minutes in. Just did not give a F anymore. Googled ‘lost sucks’ and here I am. Think I’m throwing in the towel on this one.
OK, I now this is twisted, but I’ve had my head on economics for a while. Lost is a lot like our economy. It runs on fumes, no productive activity, and debt. We have to go more into debt to pay off the debt we paid yesterdays.
That’s just like Lost. It’s a Ponzi scheme where whey keep introducing new mysteries and characters to distract us from all the ones before.
Well, maybe I’ll give it just one more eeny weeny chance….
(back to finish episode)
- sayid is a fucking pussy
- the looney tunes “BANG” note in the bomb is the worst thing ever written into the show
thats all. the rest sucked accordinly.
tell Naomi to cut her mustache while she reshapes her bangs into “asshole” face.
sayid is definitely a bitch now but i did like how he fucked over michael. that was fun. maybe one day he’ll even become the bitch locke is now. remember old locke? so sad
“tell Naomi to cut her mustache while she reshapes her bangs into “asshole” face”
ha! good stuff.
OKAY, SO THEY SEND A MAN WHO CAN’T DIE EVER, BECAUSE OF SUPER MAGIC, TO PRESS THE BUTTON ON A G*DDAMN BOMB THAT WOULD KILL EVERYONE ON THE SHIP INCLUDING HIM…. INCLUDING HIM!!! THEN, GOSH OH GOLLY GEE WHIZ, THE BOMB DOESN’T GO OFF!!! SHOCKING!!!
*Deep breath*
That may have been the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen on this show. Why not just give him a gun that shoots a little flag out of it that says “BANG” and ask him to go on a killing spree? This show sucks so hard and so bad that the actual light from Suck won’t reach it for a million billion years… Unless time travel or a wizard is somehow involved and it’s Lost so that’s probably the case.
“NOT YET” - Lost
=
“Be sure to drink your Ovaltine” - Christmas Story
My name is Laurent, and I have been sober for three weeks.
I have abstained from watching for three epi-doses.
The weening is in effect. Like weening oneself off Kraft Singles… very f$%&ing easy.
My body simply rejects it, my mind simply revolts and demands more, like reading… a brochure from Disney Land, or the owner’s manual to a shop-vac.
This may be my last post. I just can’t force myself to care to hate.
I’m just about sober now. I don’t have to worry about falling off the wagon, when the floor has already fallen from it.
I think five weeks for me without watching. No, wait, six. I’m not even sure–how many episodes have there been?
Do we get a pin to show our achievement? I’d like a pin.
Though, I’m tempted to rewatch the season 1 DVDs, to remember whether or not there was ever anything good about the show other than the first Locke flashback epi, which was what drew me in as a temporary fan. I think I remember defending the show a lot back then to the person at the other end of the couch, who kept up a litany of, “They have to be just making this stuff up as they go along They have to be.”
I just found you by googling Lost Season Four Sucks. I’m laughing so hard it hurts. I love you.
welcome!
btw, who googles ‘lost sucks’ ???
pssst…all of us…
Another convert! Yay!
I was so bored with this episode that I actually fell asleep before the SHOCKING conclusion. I second everyone’s remarks about that stupid bomb flag. Complete crap. At this point, it’s like the writers are just daring us to continue watching.
Writer 1: “O.K., when Michael tries to set off the bomb, let’s have it malfunction—the digital readout will clue him in and he’ll have to go steal a part from somewhere else on the ship.”
Writer 2: “What, are you new here? That’s waaaaaaay too plausible. Let’s have him push the button, and then a little flag will unfurl that says something quasi-cryptic so that all our fans can marvel at our brilliance.”
Writer 1: “You’re right. What was I thinking?”
You know what else really sucked this week? The fact that there’s ANOTHER double-secret hatch that nobody knows about. Yeah, that’s always a clever plot development. Almost as clever as adding 4 or 5 new characters every episode just to kill time. Idiots.
This single event sums up this week’s episode: the trio in the jungle. Why did they stop for a drink? So two of them could be shot. That’s it. Not for a drink (which must be a Lost euphemism for a piss). No, just so they could get shot. Because we know very well that those who shot them were NOT fucking waiting for them to stop for a drink before taking the kill shot!
And island immortality magic???? Bullshit! THAT IS SO STUPID!! Why didn’t Michael jump off a building? That would’ve been fun. Or step in front of a bus? Come on! Show us something!!!
And for godsakes, why did we have to be subjected to another painful dialogue where “the truth” was finally going to be revealed — and it wasn’t! “Okay, so how are they going to ‘kill everyone on the island? Huh?’”
Can we agree, by the way, that Gay Other was really missing Ben while he was Making Manhattan?
If this show doesn’t end with Ben being dismembered, I’ll feel Lost.
Why didn’t we see Michael and Walt at sea? How did they get rescued, or find land? BTW, I do have a theory about how JJ and his gang of clowns could bring the real Walt back into the show, and I was bitterly disappointed this was not used already tonight. They could explain how the (actor) Walt looks older now because . . . of the TIME DISPLACEMENT PARADOX OF THE ISLAND! Both he and Walt aged when they passed beyond the magical island horizon. Only Bed can explain it, and he won’t because he’s still busy working over Locke.
What a stupid episode.
Okay, let me get this straight–the time displacement thing really is for real part of the story? And Desmond really for true travels through time, doesn’t just think he is? And the island really does bestow some sort of invulnerability agelessness thing? No, really? Not rhetorical questions… is this stuff part of the plot?
I know this has been said many times before, but how does this show hold onto a single fan’s faith that they will explain it all in the end (if we just have paaaaaaatience), when the producers originally started out claiming it would be explained by science (not scientifiction)? How does the cognitive dissonance not cause thousands of heads to splode?
Half hour until game time here in the middle of the Pacific O.
I’m thinking this may be the week to follow in Laurent’s footsteps and not watch. I know I’ll get sucked into it when my wife goes back to watch it. Tommy Boy is on TNT right now and I’d much rather hear “You know that thing in the back seat? It’s not an air freshener, it’s a dead rotting deer carcass”, “housekeeping, you want mint for pillow”, and all the rest of the hilarity that follows.
Laurent - I can understand not watching but NOT POSTING? Come on…
It truly does seem that Lost withdrawal has several distinct stages much like mourning:
1. Denial - I used to love this show, now it sucks but I KNOW it can turn around
2. Bargaining - Maybe if I just hang in until the season finale they’ll turn it around, and if not there, then in the season premiere
3. Anger - These f#&%ing writers are complete idiots with total contempt for all of us and they think they are so brilliant. And I’m tired of all the Lost fans telling me I’m not smart enough to “get it”
4. Depression - Why do I keep watching this show? It truly sucks but I still watch. I’m a loser
5. Acceptance - Yes, the show sucks. It has sucked for a long time and will suck right up to and including the end. I don’t even care enough anymore to even worry about it.
These stages can be seen among various people all across this board. Remember when many of us had the same ire about the suckiness of the show that we see in many of this seasons new regulars to the board?
The sad thing is that it is becoming obvious that so many of the regulars of the last few years are reaching stage 5 and therefore disappearing or at least posting less regularly (I for one have found myself just lurking more and more and seeing the sentiments I held much more strongly in the past).
Ahhh, such is the evolution of Lost hatred (Maybe THAT’s the point of the show)
Welcome to Sally (above). When you are bored, go back and randomly read stuff from the past 2 years…there has been some funny ass conversations about the suckitude of this show. And based on the continued crappiness, I’m sure the writing staff will continue to supply comedy fodder for the next 3 years.
*Remember when many of us had the same ire about the suckiness of the show that we see in many of this seasons new regulars to the board?*
yes, I find myself somewhere b/w stages 4 & 5…didn’t really watch last week, suffered through last night (after Duke escaped a huge upset…those bastards always find a way)
I watch, then… wel,l then I get all excited. I’m like Jojo the idiot circus boy with a pretty new pet. Now the pet is my possible sale. Hello there pretty little pet, I love you. And then I stroke it, and I pet it, and I massage it. Hee-hee I love it, I love my little naughty pet, you’re naughty. And then I take my naughty pet and I go ARHHHH AHHR AHHHHHHHHHRRRR SMASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
SPOILEEEEEEEEEEERRRS!!
I FAILED! I Decided to find out what the big cliffhanger hype was going to be!
HERE GOES!!!!
SPOILERS
I AM TYPING THIS AS I AM WATCHING IT :
Previously on lost (back when it was somewhat decent)… WALT GOT KIDNAPPED.
And now, only 56 episodes later !!! WHAT A BARGAIN!!! We follow this storyline.
ONLY NOW, BECAUSE WE KNEW YOU WOULD CARE SO MUCH MORE IF WE DELAYED THE “CONCLUSION” OF THE STORY.
(note: conclusion does not mean we will conclude anything. it’s just a buzz word)
So this is the episode that is supoosed to be suuuuuuuuuuper shocking.
With a super twist.
(i bet all the deadies come back to life, and said and pilot go back to hunting zombies)
BUT BUT BUT
A DEATH IS COMING TONIGHT!
WHO WILL DIE?
Jin?
Locke?
Jack?
Probably gonna be a character introduced today…
OR bETTER YET! PATCHY.
HERE GOES THE SHOW!!!!!
SILENCE!
SILENCE SAYS IT ALL ON LOST!
40 seconds of stares… good… good
“Thank you all for your patience”
ROFL LOL CUM IN MY PANTS
THAT IS SO CLEVER!!!!!
Like we were all patient for 56 epsiodes
(and for those 40 seconds)
THEY ARE GENIUSESES
“NO MORE SECRETS” says locke!!!
WOAH They are on a rollll
“We kind of knew that forever”
Man they don’t stop tonight!
MICHAEL!!!!! EVERYONE KNEW THAT!
THAT MICHAEL! NOT THE JACKSON MICHAEL!
That would be too sweet!
HEY MAYBE THATS WHERE ALL THE KIDS ARE!!!!!!!
JAWS MUSIC ON THE BOAT!
AND….
Someone gets beatup…
hes gonna die!
NO WE DONT REMEMBER
WE REALLY DONT CARE ANYMORE
ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh “everybody just hold on”
How much of this “subtle” talk will we be subject to tonight.
And michael says
“IM HERE TO DIE!”
WELL HERES THE TWIST!
Now they twist with tthe previews!
“Someones gonna die tonight” and michael says “I’m gonna die”
Linus will find a way to find an ATM on the island.
Woah…
Ben looks like he’s gonna give alex the sex talk.
NO SEX ON THE ISLAND.
The rest of the people are in the SANCTUARY!
How long till we see the sanctuary?20 minutes? 2 days? 3 weeks? 40 epsiodes?
THEY ARE MORE DANGEROUS THAN BEN BECAUSE OF THE CREEPY MUSIC.
Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy.
I was so busy typing I almost missed this new character!
JEFF MAN! Will Jeff Man die?
HEY WOAH! NO FLASHBACK SO FAR?
Spoke too soon…
HEre it comes.
What is it with Ana-Lucia this season? They mentioned her every 2 episodes, and they showed her deading in the “previously” vignette. Maybe there’s hope for the zombie theory afterall!
Ok so is this the future, the past, the other dimension?
Notice how we are 2 minutes into the flashback and nothing has happenned?
If this was 24 in those same 2 minutes, 8 bombs would have gone off, Jack would have defused anohter 9, 3 major characters would have died, and the director of CTU would have been fired, twice. All in real time too!
So now we’re 4 minutes into the flasjback and WOAH! LIBBY!
I WAS RIGTH!
THEY COME BACK FROM THE DEAD!
ZOMBIE MISS LIBBY!
Now bring back Lucia and Eko!
ANd Eko’s brother.
They can sell coke to everyone on the island.
CALL WALT
He must be 9 feet tall by now.
Hey maybe the 4 toe giant statue was of Long-Ago-Past Walt, when he was at his peak as a greko-roman-inca-spartan gladiwrestler.
Another one!
“Until you can explain to me where you were for 2 months, you gave up your rights”
Man the writers are so clever tonight… THANK YOU WRITERS FOR YOUR INCESSANT WIT.
CUZ HE STOLE THAT WATCH FROM JIN.
JIN who will die one day. BUT NOT TONIGHT. TONIGHT ITS MICHEAL ( at least until the twist comes)
There ya go! TWIST
WOOT!!!!
BACK FROM THE DEAD AGAIN! PIRATE GUY!
KICK HIM IN THE NUTS! Like cartman would do.
So when exactly did that guy leave the island?
When he was busy babysitting jack and sawyer every day?
Maybe he has a twin brother… or a clone?
The island wont let you die!!!!!!
This should be good…
Now if you guys want a good story with an island in it, read Darwin Cooke’s
New Frontier.
WOW! COSMIC DUDE! TOTALLY RAD!!! THE GUN DIDNT SHOOT!
THEY FOUND THE RECKAGE! how many times will this show this footage this season!
Ok so we’re 12 minutes into the flashback… will this be just a flashback episode..? until the last minute twist kill a random character moment?
ITS A PHONY PLANE
STAGED THE WRECK
HE had a plane and 200 bodies.
Interesting.
And believable. Totally believable.
IF ITS ON PAPER IT MUST BE TRUE.
oh, 300 corpses.
That’s more plausible.
Ok so….
Big bad ben…. got to the island and killed everyone there except the ones with the super powers that can regenerate forwever.
And then he kidnapped, killed torutred the random survivors that fell on the island.
But he’s the good guy.
BECAUSE YOU SEE, FAR FAR AWAY,
There was this other man, that heard of this mystery island in folk tales.
AND HE KNEW IT WAS AN ISLAND WITH SUPER POWERS.
So he spend 213 gajillion dollars and commited 2232 crimes to get to the island.
And he plans to kill whatever he sees on that island when he gets there.
OH WAIT! HES NOT EVEN ON HIS WAY THERE.
BUT!!
JUST IN CASE SOME RANDOM OTHER BOAT MAKES IT TO THAT ISLAND, Send micahel on it to kill all the crew.
BUT JUST SEND MICHAEL, ALONE.
SEND HIM, this guy who has just gone through hell and is probably unstable…
BECAUSE… it would be impossible for pirate guy and the other OTHERS who can come and go from the island of power as they want…
IT WOULD BE IMPOISSIBLE FOR THEM TO i dunno, BLOW UP THE BOAT… or Wait… BRING BACK GUNS TO THE ISLAND AND YOU KNOW KILL THEM WHEN THEY SHOW UP IN THEIR GIANT FUCKING BOAT
OR BETTER YET, KILL THEM BEFORE THEY LEAVE
MAKES A LOT OF FUCKING SENSE.
I hope the writers die, I really do.
Ooh glimpse of Naomi’s ass crack.
Maybe they are catering to the bored lesbian housewives, instead of just bored housewives.
Ok so… wait
Charles witmorre BOTH DID AND DID NOT STAGE THE FAKE FLIGHT
FUCK THEM ALL TABARNAK!
So let’s recap for all you kids at home:
- Witmore spent a gillion dollars and stole 300 bodies so no one else could find secret island.
- Since he wants to be the only want to know where it is, he then gets a boat of 20 people to go to the island, WITHOUT HIM.
- Somehow, on that desert power island, BEN and his posse found out his plans.
- They then sat in the oval hatch and after long consideration, figured out that this was their best plan:
1) Use their super cloning technology to clone pirate guy and send him back to manhattan while still babysitting jack and kate on the island.
2) Once he gets to manahattan, he is to find Michael, the guys they just sent home, and who is completely distressed.
3) He is then to get michael to go kill all 20 crew members, all by himself, WITH A FAKE BOMB.
4) Michael will agree to do so, because he loves walter. You see, because he loves his son, he is willing to kill 20 random stragners even though his son is not in any danger
NO ITS NOT WALT.
ITS BEN
BEN CAN DO WHAT HE WANTS
BUT HE CANT PREVENT A STUPID BOAT FROM COMING TO HIS ISLAND.
It’s not like he has a Smoke monster and a poltergeist and a regenrating patchy and the bubonic plague and killer bears on this island.
Or tons of guns, and explosives.
ITS NOT LIKE HE HAS THOSE THINGS.
Instead he will use Michael, train him to become a superspy in a 10 minutes overseas call, and leave it up to him to dismantle the team.
And now we’re back on the island.
3 minutes LEFT
WHO WILL DIE
Saiiiiiiiiid?
Michael?
Desmond?
They are still trying to con us into thinkning it’s michael…..
No wait, maybe the captain! EXCITEMENT IS EVERYWHERE!
(i bet its no one.)
SAID GETS A BULLET! No.
No one will die.
THEY LIED AGAIN.
AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Unless ts that boygriend dude.
“BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS….”
Yup its gonna be boyfiriend.
1 minutes 42 seconds left…
HERE COMES THE BIG CLIFHANGING TWIST!!!!
HEWRE IT COMES
ARROWS!!!
DEATH!
YS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BOyfriend died!
IReeleavant charactrt is dead!!!!
WE HAVE EWOKS ON THE ISLAND!
EWOKS!!!!!
GO EWOKS!!!!!!!!!!
BIG CLIFF HANGER
45 seonds!
Comeone ewosk!
other irrelvant undeleop character is dead!
Wher are the ewoks!
OOOO!!!
THE KIDS!!
THE KIDS ARE NUTS!!
THE KIDS ARE THE KILLERS!!! COME ON!
COME ON!
COME ON!!!
COME ON!!!!!
NO NOTHING!
NO CLIFFHANGER!!
NO FUCKALL!!!
Awesome, now I really DON’T have to watch it.
Also, I can’t believe the possibility of the dream ending didn’t even cross my mind:
Grindhouse reunion with Sayid and the pilot.
Lost would have immediately won back my affections even after so much abuse if they had pulled a “From Dusk Til Dawn”-esque switcheroo and suddenely it became a zombie killing show.
Maybe the the people on this board should be doing the writing. Clearly, we couldn’t do any worse…and if you could search back in the archives and find some of the proposed scenes people have created from the last couple seasons, I think we could make an argument that it would be better.
No, you ninny! The French chick died! That’s the big cliffhanger! Now there will be no more French toast on the island for breakfast. No more French fries for lunch or dinner. And no French kissing for Jack or Kate or Sawyer or Baby doc, which means there is no more reason to want to stay on the island, therefore . . . We will NOW see the aforementioned Beach crew effect a mass exodus from the Magic Island of No More Things French, but only the Lucky Six will escape. Tune in five weeks from now to see if anyone will stay behind because, there may still be French dressing.
Incidentally, what DID happen to her crew and that disease that was killing everyone?
Yes, that has become my new pet peeve in terms of lost plot threads - the “disease” was a MAJOR premise in season 1 and into season 2 then totally disappeared.
you mean the french disease?! it must be that because lost’s plotlines have as many holes as a third-staged syphilitic’s swiss cheese brain.
With the loss of Frenchy, that means she can continue to NOT tell them things she’s learned about the island after living there for twenty years. So that’s a good thing.
That is so convenient, since the writers no none of the answers to the questions, neither does the French chick.
wow your post is entirely too long
Never before, and never since, have I read such a perfect summary of whylostsucks.
The writers are fucking morons, each episode they dig themselves deeper and deeper by creating more and more plot complications. The reasoning and motivations of the characters are completely fucked. They seem to go out of their way to make things harder on themselves. For example, why does Michael have to have Walt stay with his grandmother? Why create the tottaly nonsensical situation where his grandmother is keeping them being alive a big secret? Why not just have Walt living with him and being mad at him? I can’t understand how even the most die hard fan could tolerate this. Why is it that every episode hyped up in interviews tottaly sucks? I think the only thing that would piss off the hardcore fans would be if they don’t explain the 4 toed statue.
Beyond the fact that there are too many characters to care about, how can the writers still not explain the belief system/reasoning of the others? The way they act is tottaly non sensical (”I will live in shit on the island taking orders and live in gay penthouse paridise in ny sometimes” - mr friendly). It makes me watch the show in such a detached way because while we understand the main characters, the others are tottaly random.
what’s also completely nonsensical is that they call themselves ‘others’ (from a couple epis ago…didn’t juliet say something like “it ain’t easy being […cheesy…] an other” ?
did you guys realize that the kid in the window wasn’t even the character who plays walt? they just got some random young black kid, i guess the writers think they all look alike
I assumed that the new Walt 2.0 had to be another kid since the real Walt has grown up so much and hardly looks the same.
Not that that excuses lame storytelling. Because it doesn’t.
He is known here as Walt Chamberlain.
see lost was originally supposed to be picked up by fox and the four-toed statue was a clever homage (
well that didn’t work for some reason, so here goes again:
see lost was originally supposed to be picked up by fox and the four-toed statue was an homage to the simpsons. since every episode was already planned out, the writers didn’t remove the reference as doing so would have ruined their creative vision.
I’m just watching now.
Gotdamn i’m excited to see this piece of shit! If it actually lives up to the suckitude expectations, that is.
Damn there goes Libby! She was a chubby-chaser.
Remember when “the others” used to wear disguises and pretend they were other others? Ben was running a work camp then and had everyone digging wholes in the ground. Yes, that is wholes as opposed to halves. Sayid was taking leisurely sailing vacations around the island and viewing the giant four toed statue guy. Desmond had a boat for a while but it was eaten by Agatha the enormously ugly sea creature. First Ben has a gay ham dinner then his “head” henchman turns out to have a boyfriend named Pablo. That would explain the difficulty in giving birth on the island, Adam and Eve could have a baby, not Adam and Steve. Dear Diary, Woke up at 4:00 AM in a cold sweat. Had a strange revalatory nightmare that if LOST wasever going to make and sense it would have done so before now. Had the sensation of falling into a dark bottomless pit of Televison Reruns. Then it was judgement day. Then not just me but the rest of the LOST damned were sentenced2 watch every single episode for 10,000 years. Then after the very last episode after the ten thousand years we had to watch 10,000 years of “The Cosby Kids.” Mommie?………
Why is everyone expecting the biggest revelations to be revealed when theres 40 episodes of LOST to go?
I can’t believe I just read what you wrote.
Have you srsly never been exposed to a well written work of fiction and lack all understanding of how it works?
Well its very much like Harry Potter, each season of LOST is like a book of HP, revealing answers as the plot goes on, keeping the biggest answers till the end. Obviously its not QUITE as good as HP, but LOST is still very good
Dealing with people like you is like dealing with friends that never went to college. They try and talk to you about all of these “deep” t.v. shows and movies that they watch, and it just makes you feel really akward because you just got done reading a novel or a 2,000 page history of the middle east. Most morons like you think something is deep, and its just boring to those of us who don’t take out a credit card to buy a new blue-ray disc player so we can buy the complete first season of “the office.” Go fuck yourself and your sophmoric intellect. Lost is not a great work of fiction, its just a television show, and a shitty one at that.
Ok, the fact that you bring up Harry Potter as an analogy clues me in that you MUST be trolling, but i’ll entertain this as I do think Harry Potter has shades of brilliance in regards to what it’s attempting to achieve and what it’s target audience is. I haven’t read book 7 btw.
Aside from Snape’s odd behavior from book to book (though these oddities were quickly explained, to different degrees of satisfaction) HP is the exact opposite of Lost in terms of logical continuity and character development. Comparing Lost to HP would mean Voldemort was introduced in book one and didn’t get another mention until book 5 or so. But each book, like clockwork, differnt parts of the history and specific backstory of characters was revealed and pretty much immediately tied in to the ongoing story.
Plus (and this is the delicate brilliance I mentioned) you are seeing the HP world, even though the books aren’t written in first person, through Harry’s eyes. The first book comes off as lighthearted and whimsical, even though a mad evil sorcerer tried to kill Harry, because that is how a 10 (11?) year old would see things. However, as the books progress the tone becomes subtly darker and more sinister as Harry himself not only grows up and realizes how dark and sinister the real world can be, but also comes to terms that he is a pivotal figure in something huge and that there are people ACTUALLY TRYING TO KILL HIM. Come book 4 and 5 he is depressed and miserable and high-strung and even directly mentions how things that made him happy before just aren’t cutting it anymore in light of this madness he’s living through.
Despite the books shortcomings and the fact that i’m not exactly their target audience, I still feel the way Rowling handled this progression is in fact nothing short of brilliant. Compare that to Lost where the writer’s can’t seem to decide anything about how the characters should progress deal with the madness around them. What started as hops are now full fledged jumps back and forth between dark and whimsical, even from fucking scene to scene. And you can’t say ‘well that’s how real life is’ (maybe for a full fledged manic-depressive) because there is always residue from event to event. The darkness will pervade the happiness and vice versa and a good writer will show this.
If you want to compare Lost to anything it might be ‘Infinte Jest’ (which i’ve mentioned before) by David Foster Wallace and which i’m pretty sure at this point Lost is trying to blatantly rip off.
here’s some fuckin brilliance for ya:
Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word “wand” with “wang” in the first Harry Potter Book
Let’s see the results…
“Why aren’t you supposed to do magic?” asked Harry.
“Oh, well — I was at Hogwarts meself but I — er — got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an’ everything
A magic wang… this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.
“Yes, yes. I thought I’d be seeing you soon. Harry Potter.” It wasn’t a question. “You have your mother’s eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work.”
“Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. ”
Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls
“Oh, move over,” Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry’s wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, ‘Alohomora!”
The troll couldn’t feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry’s wang had still been in his hand when he’d jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll’s nostrils.
He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll’s nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.
He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.
“Yes,” Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding…. Any second now, he might hear his mother again… but he shouldn’t think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn’t want to… or did he?
Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang
Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.
‘Get - off - me!’ Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.
stolen from bash(dot)org
here’s one problem…
they don’t intend to answer some of the ‘mysteries’…
from ‘tv squad’ and other sources:
‘At the annual Paley Festival being held in Hollywood, CA, Lindelof explains that after ABC saw the episode with the [four-toed] statue, they got a note back from ABC execs saying that they thought it was “too weird.” ‘
they likely won’t revisit what was one of the big season 2 cliffhangers, and one of the more intriguing things about the island.
Why dont they intend to answer the questions?
They definetly do have answers
*Why dont they intend to answer the questions?*
you tell me?
better question would be, why do they continue to only RAISE questions that they have no intention of addressing? and we do know the answer to that, the entire show is based on buidling mysteries…not resolving them.
“They definitely do have answers”
You sure about that? There is no evidence of this. Yes, they have said in the past that they have it all planned out but have since said things that clearly contradict that.
You are still in denial. When are some of you going to finally accept that answering questions is not team JJ/Darlton’s milieu ?
We’d like to tell you all the answers. We of course do know all the answers. They just won’t let us tell you the answers. We ARE so sorry!!
go back to the fuselage loser
seriously how many times will you stress your point about having X number of episodes to go, so why would they reveal big mysteries. you and plenty of other people have said it time and time again. its unintresting just like this show
please no more valley-boy dialogue from Hurley. That got old, like, forever ago. If you can’t think of a legitimate way to build his character, just kill the guy off.
Sawyer’s remind-the-audience-who-Michael-is-and-what-he-did line was probaby the worst thing ever written for television.
“Who’s the spy?”
“Michael”
“Huh? You mean Michael, as in, the black guy who used to be on the island, had a son named Walt, killed two chicks in the hatch - that Michael?”
PUKE.
“Sawyer’s remind-the-audience-who-Michael-is-and-what-he-did line was probaby the worst thing ever written for television.
“Who’s the spy?”
“Michael”
“Huh? You mean Michael, as in, the black guy who used to be on the island, had a son named Walt, killed two chicks in the hatch - that Michael?””
Welcome to Exposition Theatre. You KNOW they had to put this in because, if you took a poll, I bet 80% of the audience can’t remember a third of the characters and plot twists and fake-outs and other assorted nonsense that is Lost.
That the writers chose the most ham-handed way of delivering the info is just par for the course. It’s the equivalent of Nikki and Paulo running into the frame and barking out their dialogue just to prove that “hey, we’ve been here all along too!”
i don’t think i’ve ever been as bored watching an episode of lost as i was last night. this episode really really sucked, enough to get a 10 on the suck-O-meter. seeing Michael’s fucking face on the screen for that long just brought back all the memories of how much i hate that cunt. and now 5 weeks off, whatever
Yes I read that the show is supposed to go on for two more years. Well I have a great big cup of kiss my ass for that. Im not watching two more years of this. I saw the light last night. Some of it is never going to make any sense at all. Its all been a big trick to keep idiots watching. When Michael was trying to get up the nerve to blow up the ship and he sees the ghost or spirit, or future tense, or past tense, of one of the women he murdered for apparently no reason, I had a huge “Twin Peaks” flash back. Don’t get me wrong, I liked “Twin Peaks”, well. as much as you can like psychotic, bat shit crazy nonsense. Is there anyone we can “tar and feather” over this?
get a load of this, another of the douchebag fanboy comments… “wow i love this show, I can’t stop thinking about it. Friday mornings always suck for me because i know i have to wait 1 whole week more for the next episode (i can’t begin to tell you how much today sucked because we’re going into hiatus). I always have trouble waking up friday morning because after lost ends at 11pm, it takes me about an hour to calm down before i can fall asleep”
yes these people are really existing around you
This is why I weep for the future.
Yes they are the same raving lunatics screeching at Hillary rallies whilst waving flags and damping their underwear. You always wonder who these nutjob puppets are, well they watch Lost too.
just a friendly reminder… once cane goes off the air, we might even be able to see what happens with richard alpert.
did ya plan that one, writers?
Lost needs more cowbell and less of the writers humping our legs.
Michael with the rejigged ‘fro - uncool undercover brother.
The new mystery to be solved is whose ass is fatter - Tom or Hurley.
” more cowbell and less of the writers humping our legs”
LOL, nice.
Actually found a funny post over at the TWOP Lost forum. Enjoy:
Notes to self if I want to pretend to be a lowly deck dude on a mysterious freighter:
Come to ship in a taxi because apparently I have lots of money and that wouldn’t be suspicious.
Have big locked box shipped to freighter. Pretend like I’ve never seen it before and I have no idea what the hell’s in it.
Throw my cell phone off the ship in broad daylight in view of tons of other people.
Randomly confront big scary dudes with automatic weapons.
Get my own big bedroom by myself, so I can brood over and finally open aforementioned box.
Wander around ship with explosive material.
Talk to my old “friends” for like an hour while I send fellow shipmate off on wild goose chase.
Some nice points there!
My favorite was Arturo the gay love-partner. They have him dress in a silk button-down shirt with 4 buttons unbuttoned, dining on fruit and saying things like, “is this the guy that hit you with a champagne bottle?” with a stereotypical-gay-guy-inflection. And then, if you STILL haven’t gotten that they’re gay, the two snuggle for a second (but not kiss of course, that would be “gross”) before he leaves so Michael can discuss how he’s invincible. Seriously, could they hit you over the head with a bigger shovel to try and drive home the point that this guy is gay? Are there any gay stereotypes that they forgot to include?
it would be gross if they kissed. End of story.
I thought the “I like to indulge” line, followed by the finger food and gay eyes at Michael was legitimately hilarious. Michael’s return look was priceless.
“Are there any gay stereotypes that they forgot to include?”
Arturo could’ve given Michael a Queer Eye / What Not To Wear makeover while Tom cranked up show-tunes on the stereo.
So Michael can’t kill himself, that’s like wow! oh my god! Then he just decides to head back to the island that’s just not realistic here’s what would have happened:
Pirate/Gay Other: The island won’t let you kill yourself!
[shoots himself to find out for sure]
Michael: My god that’s incredible, I didn’t die
Pirate/Gay Other: We need you to go back to the island and save everybody.
Michael: Are you kidding work for you guys again, no way! I’m headed to Vegas, got it all planned out now. I’m going to become the biggest stage act in history ‘Michael the man who can’t die’. Hell I can jump off buildings, swim with sharks, drink acid and shower in liquid nitrogen without dying. I’m going to be rich! Screw you guys!
Pirate/Gay Other: Damn, oh well back to the island for me. Hey at least I’ve got me a Sawyer in a cage, wonder if he knows I’m secretly getting off on holding him prisoner what with me suddenly liking men and all!
Can someone please explain to me Pirate/Fat/Tom/Gay/Other’s globetrotting chronology in this episode? Remember, when Michael gets roughed up by Sayid, we’re in current present time where Fat Tom is dead. So the submarine is also somewhat long since blown up. And he spoke to Michael by phone, I believe (could be wrong), from NYC. And Michael was then in Fiji, which cannot be too, too far from the Magic Island, wherever it might be. So, what, five days steaming there? Less? Couple days more? So how does Gay Tom get back and forth so quickly??? The Magic Teleportation Box? Don’t tell me by jet because he’d have land somewhere and still take a boat. What boat? What ship? More to the point here, do we really assume the writers sat down in a room and figured out Dead Tom’s trip itinerary and how it corresponded to Michael’s, or did they a) decide to use the Magic Island Time Paradox explanation, or b) decide, fuck it, Tom just goes here, there, and everywhere, and we’ll leave it up to our beloved Fanboys and Fangirls to provide any necessary explanations?
The answer is probably that the sub was not yet blown up at the time of Michael’s flashback. And if not - whatever, the sub probably never was the only way off. Maybe Tom took the boat that Jin and Bernard used for their fishing trip.
To be fair, I always thought the submarine was somewhat of a hoax, like maybe it still worked but wasn’t the first-class way of getting to and fro, etc etc. And this seemed to follow a logical continuity in that nobody seemed hard pressed to stop Locke, and nobody seemed to mind that it was blown up. (Maybe even secretly happy cuz submarine travel is a bitch.) I didn’t mind that part and thought it added to the mystique and fantasy of the thing. (Though lord know we don’t need more unanswered mysteries and unexplained fantasies.)
The problem is, will the real explanation of how they get to and from the island make sense, even in the fantastical realm? Or will it ever TRULY be addressed? Somehow, I doubt it.
It’s either some of these parts are well worked out ahead of time (though that’s still nonsense if there are gaping holes elsewhere) or they’re playing the angle that NOBODY could continue a story this terribly, thus forcing the viewers to believe it’s highly esoteric and write in the rest of the story themselves.
I was still on board (though as I mentioned the other holes or loose threads already ruined it) up to this episode with the mysterious concept of how they left and returned to the island, it built the story and added to the logical continuity that they COULDN’T really come and go as they pleased and any belief of said was part of Ben’s lies, a part of his sham to convince his people that he was more powerful than he actually was. (a powerful theme indeed)
Unfortunately, with this episode even that was blown out of the water (like so many fragmented submarines, lozl) and it’s clearly the case that the writer’s can’t decide, or choose not to in order to have a constant plot crutch, whether the others are ACTUALLY all-powerful or if that is a perpetuated sham to ensure the organization running smoothly and serve Ben’s selfishness. (As to what the organization actually does, well fuck if I know)
I got an answer for you: Who the fuck cares?
*sigh*
Oh where to begin. Where..to…begin. Well first of all, let’s see if they got all the necessities taken care of for a truly craptacular episode:
- Michael gets a job as a deck hand on a super secret, super insidious mission without having an interview. Check
- Gratuitous gay reference. Check.
- Looney Tunes note in big block letters. Check.
- Someone reveals something the audience already knew. Check.
- Someone trusts Ben to go to some place on the island you’ve never seen because Ben has shown to be so trustworthy in the past. Check.
- Unknown deckhand (Michael) allowed to bring a crate with a bomb in it on the ship without it being searched. Check.
- Same unknown deckhand allowed to receive phone calls without raising suspicion. Check.
Seriously. I mean…SERIOUSLY, guys. WTF is going on here? The intellectual laziness is so horrendously obvious that I’m tasting bile.
Here we have a guy who placed a 777 on the bottom of the ocean and who has invested all that time and money into this cruise. Do they really expect us to believe that he would allow anybody on the ship that hadn’t been vetted up the wazoo? Michael got the job sight unseen, and nobody knew who he was except the Asian Sensation. “Everyone on this ship has something to hide”. Bullcrap. A guy as rich as Penny’s father would leave nothing to