Season 6 Episode 1: LAX

It starts in one and a half hours. Me, Jennifer, Doc, and Einstein are very excited for the premier.

as much as i’ve hated lost, and loved this site, i have religiously watched every single episode. with the first season (actually the first half of the first season) being so damn amazing, i got hooked. year after year, season after horrible season, i stayed tuned in hoping to get answers for the question they posed. many times i was sorely dissapointed, many other times i just didn’t care anymore because it had been so long an issue was posed which sort of just faded into oblivion. i don’t remember specifics, but you guys know what i’m talking about.

so here we are, brink of the LAST SEASON OF LOST!! through the years, i’ve learned you can’t get your hopes up about this show, and i don’t have high expectations at all… i guess i just keep watching because i’ve wasted the last 5 years with this shit, so i gotta see it through the end. regardless i’m still looking forward to being dissapointed as always. see you guys back here tomorrow to rip the season premiere apart

Oh boy, just half an hour till the hokeyness continues.
Glad we all survived these past few months to see it.

Watched about 5 minutes of the recap show and remembered how bad the show has become at this point.

These recap shows are interesting. On the surface it looks like they are made to allow fans to remember all that happened last season. However by doing that they make people forget about all of the other small issues that they don’t want us to remember and ask questions about. Nice way to make everyone forget the plot holes from last season.

I think this season, like the previous 4, will be similar. Start out strong, then keep stalling until the last two episodes.

I guess this season is just going to be the Magical Memory Tour, with the island gang going around trying to gather everyone to return to the spot of the island for some reason or another…

Charlie is locked in bathroom and ai rhostess asks for a doctor. Did she know that charlie was not breathing even before sayid knocked in the door?

I’m going to wait for the torrent. There is much more story happening in all the damn commercial than in this episode.

Hour 1:

They’ve landed in LAX.
They’ve woken up on the island, nothing has really happened.
The smoke monster is the evil dude.

Wow.

wow this really sucks. I can’t take it anymore. So now we have 2 possibly three story lines going on at the same time. WTF.

let the sucking continue!!!

oh man oh man

and now, were in king soloman’s lost mines at the holy aztec indiana jones temple

oh LOST i can count on you-you always let me down

ten points every time josh makes his sawyer constipation face!

I’m really tired of all the gun cocking, and it’s just the first episode. Can’t the producers, in all their infinite creativity, come up with another way to say “I mean business with this gun!”

I can’t mother fuck this show enough when I watch it.
How many times are these people going to cock their guns, and knock each other out, and be brought back to life.

The most frustrating thing in tonight’s episode, IMO, was the fucking flashbacks or flashpresent or flashforwards, I don’t even know anymore what that was. and it added NOTHING to the story.

Oh and I love the way Kate is running around telling Jack that Sayid is dead and its pointless to try and revive him. It’s good to know that this broad lost her memory time Jack revived Charlie in the forest back in season 1.

Hi, my name in Lucy. Would you like to kick my football?

I kept thinking, just another minute and things will start to click. No clicking. Never again will this show cross my path.

Missed the first half…
I like how there’s yet ANOTHER group of ‘others’ that were on the island the whole time, who never thought to check out the action in seasons 1-5…

Damon and Carlton say: “what Dharma?”…

Turned it off after the first hour, I just had enough.

So the smoke monster is kicking people’s asses now. If he kills more people, should simplify the plot a bit. A ‘tiny’ bit.

In all honesty, this episode wasn’t as bad as it has been. But how will the writers be able to explain the fact that in the first four seasons the characters never stumbled upon the “temple?” Locke finds a hatch buried underground, blasts it open w/ dynamite, and not once do any of them find the temple which is in plain site maybe a half days walk away (if that).

This only shows they ARE making it up as they go along. They should quit bullshitting us.

If you burn a body in a fire does it disappear completely in 5 minutes? Answer is no. Where were Jacobs bones?

This is Lord bronco from Ain’t It Bale News Dot COM!!!
This show needs a PROFESSIONAL beating and will receive one-citing your brothers help…
Please feel free to join the discussion says The Lord Who Is Not A Spambot!

Lost Sucks!!!

Replaying that scene “twice” where Juliet makes that squealing noise when the chains get was enough for me.

For hillbillys living on roots and pigmeat they sure have pearly white teeth. You could light the cave with the reflection off Sawyer’s chompers.

I guess we now know the mystery of how the hobbit lost the girl in real life. Shoving condoms down your throat is a real good way to lose the chick. “Am I alive?” Yes we managed to clear the latex from your throat… and if you ever dare to sing “You all Everybody” again, we’ll stick the latex right back in.

Yep, when you’re in the jungle keep an eye out for the chinese fireworks.
Chinese New Year. Hurrah!

I like the time travel stuff but not really the whole indianna jones adventure thing.

You guys are all fan boys. Shut the hell up. Why the fuck are you even watching it? Anyone who dislikes a show doesn’t watch it. I’m pretty sure we’ll get most of the important answers, and if we dont then I will join you guys with the bitching. Until then just shut the fuck up and enjoy the show.

Miles, never go full retard.

Jesus fuck what the hell was that episode. Sadly its us who suffer, yet you cant turn away. Is there a reason why The House Wives of Orange County are writing the Lost episodes now.

I actully have like almost every season of lost, but this seasons started off about as retarded as hiding from a nuke in a fridge.

Hey Folks!

Just something marvelous to start with…

1. hxxp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1PAB6Sgdp8

2. Seems like we’ve finally found the legendary Blocked Toilette of Youth! Its water’s not clear as it was used during Last Supper, hence its healing powers!

Read Ya!

JJ and buddies are likely happy as hell being just a few mere weeks from finally being able to kick this ill-conceived show to the curb so that they can focus their full attention on making Star Trek 2 suck.

I enjoyed seeing Jackass get kicked in the face and tumble down into the Dharma pit. Everything else was the same old pointless shit that the writers have already revised and updated 11 or 12 times for future episodes.

Don’t know how old this Damon Lindelof quote is, but it was in yesterday’s paper: “Our rule of thumb is if the characters who crashed on Oceanic 815 care about it, or if the answer is relevant to them, we’re going to answer it. But if it’s a mystery that the fans care about that has no bearing on the lives of the characters, we’re not going to answer it. This is a character-based show. We care more about emotions, motivations, and ultimate destinies of people. We don’t care about who built the statue.”

How’s that for a nice “Fuck You!” to the fans? Lindelof is finally admitting “you know all that cool stuff we showed you in the first season? All that stuff we PROMISED we’d have answers for? Well, too bad. Now we’re just gonna focus on relationships.”

Nice job assholes. You’ve dicked us around for years and turned a show which had incredible promise into “The Bachelor.” Will Jack patch things up with Kate? Will Sawyer and Botox find true love and build a lasting relationship? Don’t miss the exciting season finale for the most incredible rose ceremony you’ve ever seen!

Boom.
Big Steaming Pile of Lost

Nice show. I can’t wait for all the big reveals at the end. I seriously think this show is going to cause some problems for it’s blind hardcore audience.

No doubt some people’s self esteem won’t be the same after religiously following a show for years only to find out how stupid they are at the end.

Poor mom lol. She’ll get over it tho, she’s been duped by these “everything’s a mystery” type of shows before.

Previously on Lost:

They started with flashbacks, then moved to flashforwards, then ABC bought the rights to that idea and created a show…now we present Flash-acrosses.

A guy takes too long in the bathroom and the flight attendant calls for a doctor, not an air marshall. He is then subdued and detained in his seat by what I imagine is a black-ops flight attendant.

Fire burns hotter and, when combined with the geothermalmagnetic properties on the island, cremates Jacob in mere seconds. He then takes the form of “Al” from Quantum Leap and appears in the form of a hologram that only Hurley can see and hear.

The 1977 VW van gets 2007 all-terrain Goodyear tires and a Ford F-150 engine that allows it to pull a steel beam in even the mud/jungle terrain. Juliet survives and then dies and then Ghost Whispers to the porcupine mutant from X-men 3 to let Sawyer know that “In case you didn’t put two and two together, I set off the hydrogen bomb and you’re still alive. Not only are you still alive, you’re in the correct timeline again. It worked.”

Meanwhile, string theory takes us back to “Earth 2″, where Reilly/Locke meets Charlie Salinger/Jack. They actually get along. The airline loses Jack’s father’s coffin and Jack realizes that he should’ve gone with Southwest where bags fly free. A 100 lb Kate overpowers a 170 lb dimwitted FBI agent and escapes in a cab driven by the puppetmaster from Heroes.

We now “slide” back over to the island where once again the geothermalmagnetic properties of the island have coagulated Sayid’s blood in such a way that he has not bled out despite being shot 30 years ago. The goonies find the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and gain membership because of their secret decoder ankh. Sayid is drowned in the mudwater while the pristine windex-cleaned hourglass winds down.

Wait for it, wait for it…Sayid pops right back up with 15 seconds to spare. “What happened?” Switch to cameras 2, 3, and 7 for the teary-eyed stare of bewilderment from neighboring cast members.

LOST!

Good posts so far, guys! I’m especially pleased to see that someone brought up the gun-cocking. Boy howdy! That’s one of my biggest complaints about the show. Please note that I also commented on the creative choice in replaying the Juliet scene. Those five seconds could have certainly been used for other things! And did you see how I called Juliet “Botox”? That was pretty funny, eh guys?

One thing I haven’t seen yet: the Hurley is fat comments. Come on, guys! Did you notice that Hurley is fat? I can’t be the only one here!

Another thing that you may have noticed is this: despite having a blind hatred for the show, I’ll gleefully meander around the Internet looking for interviews with the creators, so I can transcribe those interviews here and comment on them.

Hmm. What else? I don’t know! All I can say is that this show, which is clearly science fiction, keeps throwing science fiction elements into the show that stretch credibility! It really upsets me.

Come on, guys! I really want to see what cool posts you guys have. They’ve all been tremendous so far, filled with really solid critical arguments!

What’s with Cindy and her little crew of midget stewards and stewardesses serving hot drinks and food in the temple like it’s aisle service back on the plane?

This site sucks, as do all of you.

Amazing episode, it was like Back to the future 2 mixed with Pirates Of the Caribbean 3 and a jungle version of 24.

I’ve watched LOST from the beginning, and I used to absolutely love the show. But season 5 was awful, and I found myself hating every new episode that came out. The show got more and more ridiculous, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. Last night, I was hoping that the first episode of the last season would renew my faith in the dying series. It didn’t. It was just another crappy episode like all the others from the last season. Nothing changed, the show still sucks.

Is it just me, or did Benjamin kill LOST? Ever since he appeared in the show, it has gone downhill in a hurry. His arrogant, “I know everything” demeanor got old fast, especially when we found out that he actually knows nothing. I hate his freaky bug eyes, and I want to stab the mofo to death for killing the show. Once he “moved the island”, LOST was far past the point of no return, and was doomed to suck forever.

Fuck you Benjamin.

I didn’t watch it. I tried jumping in to season 5 online after giving up midway thorugh season 3 and was just flabbergasted. I didn’t even know who half the characters were or what the deal was with the time travel and dead people coming back to life. Some deserted island.

And trolls – if you’re going to tell people not to watch a TV show they don’t like, you probably shouldn’t do it while reading a website you don’t like. We’ve explained ourselves many times here. We liked the show when it started, weren’t particularly fond of the soap opera direction it took in later seasons, but are sticking with it to see how it all ends.

Oh wow thought you were gone for a minute! MY FAVORITE SITE HAS RETURNED.

It is hard to say anything.

This show is not even funny anymore. Last season and 2 filler episode right at the beginning. The sad thing is that this alt. reality is the “best” part of the show. Even though it is totally pointless. Saving Juliet was a waste of time, so that she could just die again.
Sayid is dead. Wait, no he is not. What a twist. The magic water..
The other others..this show could run for another 6 season as the must be another other other group on the island…

Boom

Honestly, I just want to get stoned and watch this thing. It’s sheer comedy. Nothing makes sense, the drama is like a bad Telenovella, and the actors look constipated trying to keep acting this crap.

A temple? A giant jacuzzi? WTF?

i was a big big fan of the show even in season 4, but now its to much really, it should have kept it,…one at a time, and in the real

Of course Juliet dies before telling him the really important thing. Of course Jack doesn’t go assist Sayid when he’s clearly in a more critical condition than Juliet who is still able to speak.
Of course Jacob doesn’t answer any of Hurleys questions.

Sayid now has an Iranian passport.

So Locke didnt have to go to the bathroom once? Otherwise Boone would’ve known he was pulling his leg.

I want the the smoke monster to sneak up on Hurley while he’s taking a dump. That would be like, dude….

Another plot hole:

In the alternate-non-crash timeline, Hurley is still a millionaire from winning the lottery based on numbers he gleaned from a fellow mental patient who heard the numbers being broadcast from the island and repeated them ad nauseam. However, in the alternate timeline the island is depicted as being underwater, therefore, how could said mental patient have heard the numbers being broadcast from an underwater island?

What did we have there?
So we have two timelines. well I guess it’s the only way that the writers could keep the Jacob/Locke-the-smoke plotline, and not render the entire part about the atom bomb in last season’s finale meaningless. It looks like the rest of the season will be about those two timelines interacting (Jack’s father’s body? Desmond?) and then merged?. That is excellent! Well worth watching 120 episodes!

So in the first seasons we were jerked around with a lot of flashbacks, then we were jerked around with a lot of flash-forwards and now I guess we’re going to be jerked around with flash-sideways? side-flashes? No wonder this is the final season they ran out of directions to flash to.

And we had more characters! Some Japanese guy who looks like every prison camp commander I’ve seen in every WWII movie (English tastes like shit to me, you white barbarians make me puke, me love you long time), and some John Lennon look-alike (would that make the Japanese guy his Yoko? I don’t even want to think about that) and we also have a lot of other supernumerary temple people – we shall have to see if it ends for them like it ended for the famous people’s temple. And what’s up with people with the initials JJ and temples?

And smokie! Poor smokie. smokie phone home. Actually I like him, not because he’s so great, but because all the other characters are so annoying, I think the rest of the show should be like Predator where smokie just kills everybody on the island, but unlike Predator or Alien, no one survives. I think the last kill should be Kate – smokie should assume the form of Ana-Lucia, wear a strap-on and fuck her to death. Now that’s a happy ending.

And speaking about gay writing, clearly at least one of the writers there enjoys the idea of things being constantly cocked.

Hey guys! I’ve got an idea!

Let’s dig up juliet and give her a bath in fountain of youth!

Wow, yet another group of Others.

Well, since I seem to be the only one still posting from the good old days, here goes for all the old dudes.

First, I liked the episodes. Like a poster said before, we had flashbacks, then flashforwards, now flash across parallel timelines. You could say the show is groundbreaking. Maybe it’s the year I spent in Iraq, but I like the direction the show is taking finally. We had the standard jungle trek, at least one gun cocking scene, and two (That I counted) “let me tell you something important……or just stare at you” moments. At least Miles got what Juliet said, but still.

Curiously, Darlton were on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night and revealed that some things were intentionally done (on the plane scenes) and some weren’t. IE Jack’s the nervous one instead of Rose. Apparently there is something in the title “LA X” not “LAX” the standard IATA code for Los Angeles International Airport. Anyway, what did we learn? Here’s my list:

MIB Is Smokey who apparently shapes shifts
Jacob is dead
It worked, though there seems to be 2 timelines now
Richard Alpert was chained up at some point (probably by MIB)

May think of a few others but that is really all we got from this. 2 Hours of ass pain for this. Also, as previously stated, there were (at my count) 3 homosexual references, and at least 2 “why do you watch a show you hate” references.

CPT Preevyet on duty in Georgia, USA

LOL what a retard Kate is, just staring at the fed until he looks at her.

This has probably been mentioned already, but since we now know that John never came back to life, it now makes absolutely no sense that Ben first saved Locke from killing himself, then killed him. Before that, there was a theory that in order for Locke to resurrect, Linux had to kill him himself or some stupid shit.

You guys are asking too many questions.

Remember what Kate said to Jack when he asked her what she did with Aaron “NEVER ASK ME THAT AGAIN!!!!”

“I do not like the taste that english leaves in my mouth so I’m going to make this quick. Paying too much for car insurance? Geico. A fifteen minute call could save your 15% or more on your car insurance.”

i love how the fanboys are grasping to find reasons why this episode was great. “WOW Boone is back!!”… “I saw claire’s name in the opening credits!! these writers are so smart!”

Imbeciles!
You’re still watching, still debating? May I ask why? Criticism lays far beyond analysis of any particular episode. The entire concept of Lost is a failure, no?
Stringing along watchers with the goal of keeping the hook in place and nothing more. This IS the concept. Get 5 years, reruns, DVDs, and OK ratings at the expense of PLOT, meaning… resolution! Stop being sheep. Stop acting as a cattle in a chute.

I tried to free you fools years ago, but still you persist!

The one and only,

Laurent

i used to kind of have a love/hate with this show, but now i think i just hate it. it is just pathetic now. i think the writers, not knowing how the hell they could possibly tie up all of their ridiculous plot lines, have just resorted to making the whole thing more and more ridiculous, convoluted, and complicated to the point that when the show actually ends (which couldnt come sooner) everyone will be looking at one another going what the f just happened. having been about a year since the show last aired a new episode i am already wondering what the f is going on. wish i had never started watching this show…

Did the Polar Bear eat the dog?

Lost is a piece of garbage. It has become so convoluted with rediculousness and idiocy, it has become a pool of nauseating vomit.

A piece of gargage.

the show rulzzzzzzzzzzzzzz you all are fagsssssssssssssss

You guys need to stop making fun of this show. It has much better character development than other shows and plus it’s a good show. If you hate it so much why do you even watch it? Yeah seems pretty stupid huh. Thought so, bunch of loser buttheads.

Listening to this recap you realise how aimless and arbitrary the story realy is!!

“LOST in 5 min”
hxxp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8a6Lybcps4w

P.S.: With us having already revealed and analysed every facette of LOSTs suckiness during last season to the full, I confine myself to posting vids

I think the best part about the Season 6 premiere was the revelation that NO QUESTIONS WILL BE ANSWERED AND NO MYSTERIES REVEALED. What is the island? Who is Jacob? What’s up with the Egyptian crap? Those aren’t important questions. What are important questions? Will Jack or Sawyer end up with Kate? Is Richard Alpert being carried off into the bush to have buttsecks with Smokie? Can Sayeed actually die, or will he just keep popping back up like Jason Vorhees no matter how many times he is shot, stabbed, thrown off a building, run over, drowned, hit with a brick, drawn and quartered, or blown up by a nuclear bomb? That guy has cheated death more times than Wesley Snipes has cheated on his taxes.

And in the parallel reality, why didn’t Jin put that Rolex up his ass like a respectable smuggler – ie. Charlie? Why weren’t Charlie’s legs snapped in twain when Sayeed kicked in the bathroom door since that door was designed to open outwards? Can you really pick the lock on a pair of handcuffs with a ballpoint pen? Really?

Thanks Tyler for seeing this traincrash through into the last season. Knew it would be awesome when Kate woke up with big wood – I mean up in a tree. I hate it when that happens. Juliet sets off a bomb literally an arm’s length away from her but holds on with just a little blood on her face for one of the most maudlin goodbyes since “Love Story.” Jin hauls away a huge metal beam by hooking the chains up to the back bumper of an old VW bus. Don’t try that at home kids unless you want a new bumper. More new characters! Johnny Judo, his assistant Shaggy and a bunch of unmerry men are living in Col. Kurtz’ old compound with one of those cool healing pools, but someone just had to pee in it. Miles can still soak the thoughts out of dead people but has to really act hard now to do it. Ashes can stop Smoky, except he can still throw stuff at you, so never mind. They say if Sayid dies they’ll all be in a lot of trouble. He does, and they walk out looking as worried as the team trailing in the Pro Bowl at halftime. Sayid gets over dying. I think that’s #50 so far. Lost – bringing you plenty of “big shock” moments before going to commercials, little that makes sense, and a whole lot of shiny objects to distract you if you ask “but what about?” Be here! Aloha!

I find the whole show somewhat implausible.

I heard a TV critic on NPR yesterday actually give this episode a positive review and glowing praise to LOST as whole, saying basically that viewers, as well as all the fans who’ve bailed on it over the past couple of seasons, need to just give this nuanced, complex, textured show a chance.
It is complex…Unnecessarily though, unfortunately.
But everyone’s entitled to their opinion, if the reviewer actually is serious and for some reason actually feels that way about the show, but “nuanced” and “textured” in his LOST review sounded like payoff and bs to me.
But I’ll keep giving LOST a chance and be there till the end. Just takes a perspective shift to start viewing the show differently from how I did in the beginning, putting my mindset into the mix that LOST has become, cheesy sci-fi soap-opera and unintentional sit-com.

lost rocks!

Well , here I go, finally felt good enough to join in the bashing of, and not just the supreme suckfest that LOST is, but to the fanbois (notice the spelling of the word FANBOIS. One fanboy two fanbois this is for LOST FANBOIS because they are so much higher intellectually, spritually, and just pain smarter than any other fanboy in the whole world) that so love the show. For my first remark, it goes to Tyler. WOW dude some big twist around here eh? I am just not quite sure where, although the paint may be a bit fresher and the lighting a little different, you have done the same thing LOST has done for over five years now. Same shit different page. Congratulations on getting our hopes way up there and then dashing them in a single moment. That was very LOSTworthy of you. I applaude your cunningness and spirituality. with meaningless and poignant regard to all of us who actually enjoy this site as much as the writers do the fanbois who love there LOST. Very well done, the similarities are much the same as the redundancy of LOST itself or the fanbois telling us, quote “If you don’t like it why do you keep watching it.” So in other words for those of us who are not so intellectually or as spiritually sound os fanbois, what I am saying is “same shit different day.” As for that, (meaning same shit) how many miserable, deplorable and just plain inane till were insane times, have we, and or are we, and or have to in the future, watch the totally absurd ending of season five. I believe everyone knows what i am talking about here. If I would have had to watch it one more time I believe I would have spewed chunks all over my TV set. I don’t get what made that part so special, for any given daytime soap opera, on any given day, you can see the same passion and even better acting without all the fake blood and the totally bullshit ways these people get out of (shitty) predicaments they seem ro get themselves into and out of. Now how convenient for them that the VW van just so happened to jump through time to the present with them. Just figures that Kate would wake up with a big root between her legs, Just seems funny that she married the hobbit and also doing some commercials for hair coloring or something to the likes of CLAIROL or something. I just remember
thinking, WOW!!! I wonder how many dicks she had to suck to get that spot cuz this biznatch just aint pretty and I can’t be the only one to think this. Usually they have extra pretty girls for these commercials, I have always thought. So it makes me wonder how hot the hobbit got about her performing fellatio on persons other then himself?? Personally I wouldn’t care if I was Dominque as long as I (meaning I hobbit) could perform (or even I as in me) cunnilingus on the woman that he was on top of when last seen on LOST-TNG (of course TNG referring to The Next Generation) or simply FLASHFORWARDS. Such as LOST my post is long and boring, without much meaning, kind of pointless, and without getting to the best part of the whole show before you get plenty of the guns-o-cockin’ along with a buttload of stares at stupid staring right back at ya. Then finally getting to the best part of the whole show since the pilot!! We finally get to see the real star of this suckfest, and my only real interest in this whole show, It’s “smokie,” again after such a long time, getting to see him in true form, bouncing people off the walls, crashing people to the ground with his mighty black flashing tentacles like no other smoke monster before that I have ever seen anyways, and please not meaning “monster” in any kind of a bad way. But to me, even my most favorite character of the whole show, I feel as if even he, the mightiest of all LOST, could not go unscathed in the relentless ability the production team and the writers have for making this once decent show, suck as much as they possibly can before finally bringing it to a close. They have the audacity to go and change smokie’s voice!!!!! I was so goddamned mad, knowing he was coming and waiting for the clicking sounds the whirrrrrr, whirrrrrr, whirrrrr sounds that was, in itself, the essence of good ole smokie. Not there, just some not even resonable facsimile of some awfull kind of not even scary, but some kind of elevator shit music is all I can think. Now all I know is that when I figured it out I was screaming obscenities that would have made the god of hellfire blush and from that point on I don’t really recall much of the show. So in my opinion this was the worst episode or episodes yet. AND JUST WHEN YA THOUGHT IT COULD NOT GET ANY SUCKIER, THEY HIT ROCK BOTTOM WHAT ELSE COULD THEY POSSIBLY DO TO MAKE IT SUCK ANY WORSE THAN IT ALREADY DOES, WELL, JUST STAY TUNED TO SEASON 6. I HAVE A FEELING THAT ONCE IT IS OVER THERE WILL BE NO MORE FANBOIS. THERE WILL BE ONLY SHAME, DISGUEST, AND CONTEMPT FOR ANY AND ALL PERSONS INVOLVED IN THIS, THE BIGGEST SUCKFEST OF ALL TIME, PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE SPOKEN.

LOST started out so good and then it turned into a soap opera. The writers have made it clear that they don’t care about completing the mysteries of this island. Instead they want to focus on “relationships” and character development. So why should I keep trying to connect the dots, when the writers aren’t even going to connect them in the end?

I certainly don’t hate Lost. But I do think it sucks. I keep watching in hope that all the mysteries will come together at the end; but it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen.

For ages I wanted to say something
Under all that pale makeup
Cindy was beautiful
Knowing it and loving it
In my dreams she came
Gently kissing me in my lips

I wanted to say that I loved her
Deep, desperate, demanding love
I wanted to say that my soul
On far shores rested
Timeless and dark waves there died
So I tell her that I hated her

Somebody on one of the fan sites pointed out that evil Smoky wanting to leave the island via phony Locke steals quite a bit from the ST:TNG episode “Skin of Evil.” JJ & Darlton have always stolen from this show (and many others), but the guy who posted this is getting completely flamed.

Wow, you all need to get a life! You are way worse than the fanboys. If you hate the show, here’s an idea: DON’T FUCKING WATCH IT!

Has anyone else noticed that guys who “die” on the island are much more likely to “get better” than women are? I’m not a super fan, but I can’t remember for sure if a single woman has “come back,” whereas I know a lot of the male characters have, some more than once. It seems to be a pretty misogynistic island.

It’s telling that all the original posters from the series, and this site’s, beginning have vanished. All.

They have truly escaped this island of stupidity. I congratulate them.

JJ Abrams is rewarded with being allowed to reduce Star Trek to clichés (rebel biker pilot in bar fights) and time-travel.

From Paris Hilton to Lindsey Lohan to NASCAR and Taylor Swift- America truly masters the celebration/acceptance of stupidity and the talentless (so long as they are attractively packaged). The irony of the bottomless shallows, so to speak…

Bon soir

I have proof that Darwin was wrong. To see it, just look in the mirror, I shudder to write your name, but write it I must, if only to let posterity know the name of all human woes, that is JJ and the Fanboys. You volumous pile of pavement scrapings. Kennel floors are littered with faecal entities more deserving of dignity than yourself. Indeed, I write this as a letter so that I would not have to endure the sight of your demented droolings, your spiteful slobberings and your pathetic attempts at some form of communication were I to relay my feelings through discourse. It is politically correct when discussing your faults to use certain words to denote your humanness above your disability. But in your case, there is nothing human. You are just challenged, you are just different. You bilesome bigot, you brash bragadisme. You are a surgeon’s dream: spineless, gutless and with an interchangeable posterior and head. The worst insult that can be hurled at you in some cultures is to signify that your mother was a pig. But I only feel an immense, overwhelming sorrow for the sad sow that begat you. I would have suggested somewhere in this epistle that you fornicate elsewhere, but I beg you not to, for to engage in such activity would spell the rapacious ruin of some poor creature who until now might be completely, happily ignorant of even your existence, let alone your ability to engage in intercourse with things in a vertical direction. You are the compost bin of creation. Have you ever thought of what your funeral will be like? Have you ever seen someone spray cockroaches with insecticide then brush them into a garbage-bag? The only difference I guess, is that in your case more than one can of insecticide would be used. I have seen more convivial things than you wrapped up in newspaper in overfull bins at the fishmarkets. Have you ever wondered why you have no friends, only people who do their pathetic best to avoid you? Doesn’t it disturb you that you are such a social anathema, such a repulsive unnatural force that the only forum left open to you, possibly, is state politics?

OK here we go with another rant sure to make the fanbois scream at me with fury and hate. With a fury more powerful than any 10 women scorned. With a hate more hateful than any other hate known by man. Or maybe not, who knows? Now what I want to know is why is Desmond on that plane? Is there some kind of a mystery here? Because when Jack came back from giving Charlie the cure for condom throat we never saw him again. Could it be possible that he is just flashing about in his own area code since he don’t have to push the button this time around. Or maybe he does, so maybe his area code flashed him up onto the plane so it could hide under water while the plane flew over and flashed him back to the swan hatch when it came back up for air. Hey an island needs to take a breath here and there to ya know. Where did these other, nothers mothers at the temple come from? Surely not from the Black Rock because then they would have had to know about the dynamite, and than they would have had more than just one firecracker for there New Years party. And I guess ole smokie gave it away about Ricky Ricardus being in chains the last time they had tea together. I guess he was a slave and maybe thats why he never became the leader because he had a complex of the infearior kind. Well thats to bad but I wonder why when he escaped, how come he didn’t help others to escape with him. Then again maybe he did but just didn’t let them bath with him in the puddle of life. Well we will probably get a Richard flash back sometime this season anyways. Then we will see how well my predictions pan out.

I thought the writers said that all the events in Lost were anchored in science; well, that went out of the window when they came up with time travel; still, they might claim that time travel is not explicitly prohibited by the laws of physics, which is true, but from what I’ve heard most physicists consider time travel as impossible.
But how the hell are they going to give a scientific explanation to this magic ash that prevents smoke creatures from getting close?? And if this ash is some sort of a kryptonite for smoke-people why not weaponize it? Or does it only work when you scatter it in a circle and stand inside?… I wish someone had made such a circle around the ABC offices years ago, and maybe it would have prevented the “schlock monsters” JJ and Darlton from pitching this show.

Maybe the writers will try to say that those creatures occupy a higher plane of existence and when you scatter ashes in our reality, then in their reality you actually erect a hyper-baryonic ultra-shield that can deflect the matrix harmonics created by the sub-modulator generated by the higgs field emitted by the crystalline unity that operates smokie (Duh). If so, we are going to have another kind of flash – flash-upward. They would never do that, you say? Too insulting to the intelligence, you say? Well, then you never watched Lost.

Oh, another thing Lost taught me: According to the law (see Sanity Vs. Jung-il) if a Korean woman can speak English, or at least can utter the words “it is all a misunderstanding” then no one presses charges, no matter what they find in your luggage.

You faggots are all proably posting your endless and poinless theories on the lost fourms, and then all coming over here to bitch and whine. Do yourselves all a big favor if you dont like the show, Dont watch it. It’s as easy as riding a bike, I promise. Just tune into one of those retarded reality tv shows instead.

-Dickface signing off!

Holy shit guys… I was sucking this guy’s dick, and he blasted his load into my mouth just as I was swallowing! I swear it was the sweetest thing… you’ve gotta try it! Let’s meet this weekend, ok?

Yeah! Let’s impersonate Tyler and make him look gay! That was not the real Tyler folks.

Gonna make this quick:

1) Without guns Lost does not make any sense. Okay it’s pretty much senseless as is but without the guns and the gun cock’n it would be like watching a Spanish soap opera dubbed in Icelandic.

They had a van cam scene in last week’s episode. A camera mounted to a fixed boom above the van that shot the scene of the van driving through the jungle with all of the bumps and jerks of the van translated directly to the camera. A 10sec long scene. Why? Ask yourself why? But the kicker is that they did the same gimmick with a camera mounted on I believe it was Sawyer’s or Jack’s rifle. A POV shot of the rifle barrel scanning left and right. WTF, why? If gun cock’n wasn’t annoying enough now they’re masturbating arcade style to Doom or Duke’Nukem inspired gun cock’n. Someone get the BFG 2000 and put this show out of its misery.

2) Lost is actually covert Scientology recruitment. Aliens, magnetic engrams, time travel and modified DC-8 airplanes/spaceships. Scientologists believe that souls reincarnate and have lived on other planets before living on Earth. Xenu brought billions of his people to Earth in a DC-8-like spacecraft, stacked them around volcanoes and killed them using “hydrogen bombs”. That’s the plot of LOST?

3) The creepy character Ethan is Tom Cruise’s cousin in real life. JJ is/was thick with Tom Cruise on all those Mission Impossible movies. You take a cruise to get to an island, to get to an island you need to take a cruise. Dare I say more?

4) That 8 corner brand/tatoo that Juliet got on her butt is exactly the same as the cross used by scientology. That symbol used on the show was JJ’s way of paying patronage to his Scientology master. All movies and shows made in Hollywood must perform this act of submission at least once.

5) Fanboy DNA is 100% genetically identical to scientologist DNA. They may not believe it and use swearing and curses to dodge the issue but if they bother to get their engrams read by an MRI, the scan will reveal the awful truth.

6) And if that wasn’t enough proof then this may convince you – botox was invented in a Scientologist lab.

I also heard other people pointing out the similarities between lost and scientology.
Another similarity that was pointed out is that they promise to tell you a great and wonderful secret if you stay with them for many years and spend mucho dinero on their courses, and then in the end it is nothing more than a space opera featuring an alien overlord named Xenu/Xemu/Jacob/Smokey.

Holy stinking pile of fetid aardvark shit.

I will give the writers this: They managed to fill 2 hours of prime time and have absolutely nothing happen. Quite an accomplishment.

Not a single surprise. Everything predictable. Cliche after cliche.

Nothing…happened.

But hey, we got to see the guy from Last Samurai speak Japanese.

You guys should take your dicks and shove them up your ass mmm k. Lost is great. Fuck you. Lossssssst is the best thing on tv! I spend my days coming up with three page threads of theories on this show, and I’ve been doing it since 2004!!!

New here. I found this site by simply searching “Lost Sucks” under Google.

Now, I don’t think the show sucks, per se; it’s dumb, increasingly goofy, and at times VERY poorly written/plotted, but it is still a decent entertainment. However, the last season was pretty piss poor, and this is coming from someone who is obsessed with time travel stories.

I wanted a place to vent about how the show went from simply amazing (season one), to okay (season 2), to boring (season 3), to poor (season 4), to piss poor (season 5), and now it’s kind of lingering between okay and boring for me. This new bent on mysticism doesn’t really do much for me, and it feels like the writers couldn’t answer questions logically without resorting to cheap, Indiana Jones-esque magic. Such a shame. I could think of SEVERAL ways to answer the show’s many mysteries without that old “there are magical people on the island” chestnut. And while we’re on that subject, how many goddamn “others” are there, anyway?

That being said, I think the John Locke/Not-John Locke scenes are pretty fucking cool – probably the only thing left that’s worth watching on this show (I attribute it mostly to what an amazing actor Terry O’Quinn is). I am gonna stick it out because I’ve invested this much time; why not see if they redeem themselves or just further clog up the drain with their stinking turds.

I’ll be posting regularly here for this rest of this season – if it continues to stink, so be it – at least I have a place to vent. If it gets better, well great, too.

Oh, and death to gun cocking. That shit is getting very fucking annoying.

LOST SUCKS COCK!!!! SINCE TIME TRAVEL BULL SHIT!!! FUCK THIS FUCKING WRITTERS AND PRODUCERS!!! WE HAD TO WAIT FOR THEM WITH THEIR FUCKING STRIKE AND GET LESS EPISODES AND WAIT A LOT MORE… SO THEY CAN FUCK UP THIS SHOW WITH BULL SHIT LIKE TIME TRAVEL, THE ISLAND IS HELL, SMOKEY THE DEVIL, JACOB IS GOD OR JESUS AND ALL THIS BULL SHIT THAT COMES EVERY NEW EPISODE!!! FUCK THEM !!! FUCK THE CAST!! FUCK JJ ABRAHAMS AND FUCK EVERY SINGLE ONE THAT HAS MADE UP ALL THIS FICTIONAL BULLSHIT!!! FUCK ALL THIS FUCKERS WHO GOT GREEDY AND FUCK THIS SHOW!!! WE FUCKING HATE YOU!!! THE REAL FUNS FUCKING HATE YOU!!! FUCK YOU ASSHOLES!! DIE ALONE AND LIVE IN HELL COCKSUCKERS!!

I am watching every episode since I feel that I already have so much time invested in this thing, I may as well see it through to the end. Ugh. Last night’s Desmond-Fest had me doing laundry with Lost on the background. The Time Travel aspect in Season 5 was stretching it a bit, but the alternate reality thing this season has only “lost” my interest. Ugh. Still I watch.

I feel soooo terrible for those who don’t enjoy lost. It honestly saddens me. Lost has been the center of my life for the past six years. I don’t know what my life would be like without it. JJ, Damon, Carlton and all those who helped create, thank you, thank you so much for what you have done. Lost is a beautiful woven story that will have a legacy far past its time and I don’t understand why some people can’t accept how great it is.