Episode 5: Lighthouse

No matter what I bet its gonna SUCK so there ya go……….boom………….LOST

Jeez Tyler, not even going to make an ATTEMPT to write a critique of tonight’s episode? You lazy sod you… What can I say? We’ve come this far, so I guess its “in Tyler we trust” (heh, heh).

“THE TIME FOR QUESTIONS IS OVER.”, The voiceover beckons before the new episode starts.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Who are they trying to fool?

20 minutes in and stunning so far.
Some people actually still take this show seriously? No bs?
Holy crap, that’s baffling.

HA!!!!!!!!!!! Instead of showing last weeks episode like usual there is some Ford shit on. About the same though meaningless crap. Not very eventfull. Although it does move the plot some.

I wonder why we never saw this light house before?

Because the writers just dreamed this shit up!

Why do I waste my time watching this crap? Why??? I could be pulling my fingernails out or something.

Hey, look at that! It took them one friggin’ hour to point out that Jack is supposed to be on the island.

WE KNEW THIS ALREADY!

Goddamnit, this show has gone down the fucking toilet.

WE WERE TRICKED

THEY NEVER HAD ANYTHING PLANNED!!!

My wife eats this crap up! Michelle, I know you see this!

Why are these characters such fucking mindless robots?

“Jack is supposed to do something important.” – Jacob to Hurley.

To which anyone with a MIND would and should reply:

“Tell me what it is, you fucking ectoplasmic douchebag, or I am going back to the beach and catching a fish and jerking off in the ocean.”

Fuck this goddamn show.

AHHHHH I CANT TAKE THIS SHOW ANYMORE.

THEY USED TO TELL US THEY KNEW WHERE THEY WERE GOING NOW THEY ADMIT THEY DONT EVEN KNOW YET WHAT THEY ARE GOING TO DO WITH THIS NEW RETARDED TIMELINE… THIS SHOW IS GETTING SO RETARDED… THAT NEW TOWER WITH THE MIROR IS LIKE THE EIFEL TOWER OF THE ISLAND YOU SHOULD SEE THAT THING FROM EVERY FUCKING ANGLE WTF IS THIS SHOW… ITS GETTING MORE RETARDED THAN THE WORST SITCOMS….

THEY ARE SAVING MINUTES ALL THE TIME NOW WITH SOME STUPID FILLER STUFF WHEN ITS SUPOSED TO BE THE LAST SEASON … FIVE EPISODES SO FAR, NO SATISFYING ANSWERS AT ALL (LIKE THE PROTECTING ASH, WHAT AN EXPLAINATION, OH REALLY? FUCK THIS SHOW I USED TO LOVE IT BUT CLEARLY TODAY IF I SAW ANYONE INVOLVED WITH THE STORY, ID PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE FOR MAKING ME LOSE MORE THAN 100 FUCKING HOURS ON THIS RETARDED SHOW. GO SUCK A DICK JJ GO SUCK A DICK DAMON GOOOOOOOOO

FUCK YOU JACK
FUCK YOU KATE
FUCK YOU WALT
FUCK YOU CHINESE OF THE TEMPLE
FUCK YOU NEW TIME LINE
FUCK
FUCK
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

I HATE THIS SHOW

EVERYTHING IS SO PREDICTABLE ON THIS SHOW

I PEE ON YOU WRITERS FUCK YOU

WTF WAS THAT AN ANSWER TO THE SKELETON MYSTERY? HURLEY SAYING THAT IT WAS THEM GOING BACK IN TIME? THATS THE ANSWER WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR FOR SO LONG?

They can sure cock some guns though!

-The last thing you want here is an infection!

What a fucking joke!

I’m going to change my name to I Hate Jack. Freckle’s 1 minute cameo was the best part of the episode b/c I thought for a split second she was going to shoot Jack. So here’s Jack’s logic:

I’m going to follow Hurley through my 108th jungle trek because he mentioned that Jacob mentioned “I have what it takes” what is a reference to my father that I still can’t get over despite the man was an alcoholic asshole who died 3+ years ago. And then when I see my name on a wheel and turn it to my name and see my house I don’t think, “Cool” this is some whack-ass shit but rather demand from Hurley to talk to Jacob. I can’t wait more than 10 seconds before smashing the magic mirror into pieces and think it’s a good idea to piss off the person who obviously doesn’t operate within the normal physical realm and can do whatever he wants. I’ll then stare out to the ocean as if Sayid just asked me a question and I was looking into his face.

In the end, what did we learn? A) Jacob is manipulative. B) Claire is bad. C) Jack has the patience of most 3 yr olds. No wonder his kid in another timeline hated him so much.

*in voice of Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons* “Worst.. episode… ever”.

By the time they got to Jack breaking Jacob’s magic scrying mirror I was tired out from laughing so hard. In classic Lost fashion, Jack was SO enraged by the lack of answers (again, mirroring the audience) that he smashed the one thing that might give him some answers. You think after wandering the jungle for that long that these people would have learned something about patience. That self referential humor never gets old either, with Hurley reminiscing about walking around the jungle with no clue as to what the fuck is going on. Also, apparently Jin has become a dimwitted, coward who will sell out the temple folk to save his own narrow yella’ behind (heh, pun intended).

I also can’t help but notice that this magical b-universe where everybody is happy seems to be nothing more than filler. It’s like they started out with the flashbacks as b-plot material, which worked quite well. Then after doing EVERYTHING they could with the flashbacks they switched to flash forwards for the b-plot material. The flash forwards were boring, repetitive and derivative of the flashbacks and didn’t work at all. Then after doing EVERYTHING they could with the flash forwards they decided to create a whole B-UNIVERSE to draw b-plots from as to provide proper filler for the writers lack of creativity; and the fact they are making it up as they go along.

Or in more succinct terms: This episode sucks because for the last 75 or so episodes NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED.

Ive been stuck on this fucking Island for about 5 years now. That is because I have some form of personality disorder tha requires me to stick with something until the end. I’m going to watch it until the last Ford Commercial in the last episode then I am getting off of this island. And the rest are here on Gilligans isle……

FUCK THIS CATHOLIC PROPAGANDA…

HEY PRODUCERS…HOW MUCH DID YOU GET FROM RELIGIOUS GROUPS??????

THE VATICAN CONTRIBUTES MORE MONEY TO TV AND FILM PRODUCTION THAN ALL OTHER ORGANIZATIONS COMBINED…

Is god willing to prevent evil?
but not able
then he is IMPOTENT
Is he able but not willing?
then he is MALEVOLENT
Is he both able and willing?
then whence cometh evil
Is he neither able nor willing
then why call him god?

–Epicurus

Apparently the writers think that the mere act of swinging a gun around quickly cause a cocking like sound.

Oh look a lighthouse that somehow no one ever noticed during their time on the island. I bet with a little more trekking they will realize that they are just lost in a big theme park.

Jack’s behaviour when he saw the mirror just shows how out of touch the writers are with how normal humans behave. Are there robots writing this show?

They returned to the whole daddy issue angle. Now we see that Jack’s son has daddy issues too. Daytime drama at its best.

Well quite an entertaining episode I will say. Imagine that, there was nothing revealing from the past except, Jin is a liar. Claire is a cold blooded murderer. Jack is still a fuckin dipshit. Now why in the hell would you go breaking that mirror? If I was to see something like that I would be checking it out for days. I don’t get it. I hope when Kate finds Claire that Claire cuts off her head and puts it on the end of a stick. Lets see what else happened. How come this is the first time we find out Jack has a kid? What a joke this show has turned into. I mean, what was the big deal with the wasted time there. Just to let us know Daddy Jack (Christian) thought his son was a fuck up!!! He still is and we knew that already. PLEASE!!! I guess these dipshits think that we are really stupid… Can’t say new low because they are at rock bottom and holding steady….. Last but not lost, I wonder what ole Smokie Not Locke and Claire have ben up to? Maybe making baby smoke monsters perhaps….. Who the hell knows!!!!!! C’ome here Smokie Jr. let me show you how to trek through the jungle boy…..

The only real question that I want answered is: where are they carrying the toilet paper during all these jungle treks. Or are they just using leaves from the native plants on the island? If so, who taught them the good and bad types of leaves for ass wiping? You wouldn’t want to make the wrong choice there.

Lost is plowing below rock bottom digging up new strata of suck.

ZOMG – The lighthouse had numbers and those numbers beside the losties were the magic numbers and those numbers add up to 108 and jacob told them to turn the magic looking glass, crystal ball thingy in the 100 tower that nobody ever seen to 108. OMFG what could it mean, it must mean something. I can’t fucking wait to find out what.

Oh yeah, it’s just made up BS that means nothing…

Boom

Lost…..

Well folks, the suckfest is back in full force. I loved Jack’s hissy fit and the breaking of the mirror. Where is a good punch in the face when you need one. Damn this guy is such a fucking tool. Tonights eppy was lame, boring, and a general waste of time. 5 episodes in, and not a single interesting minute. Thats gotta be some of record

I figured out why Claire impaled (I guess it wasn’t a true impaling) that black dude. Other than the fact that the black dude is a minor. expendable character (aren’t all black characters expendable, except for Rose — the stereotypical African mother of the Earth?), Claire was clearly enraged by his obviously good hygeine. I mean the dude obviously bathed regularly and had enough time and toiletries to shave his head bald every day — I could smell his clean fresh scent through the TV screen. And is he the same dude on the Old Spice commercial that they repreat interminably during episodes of Lost? Claire is pretty femmy chick and having to walk around with that ratty hair and generally ripe aura must be really difficult for her, so of course when she encounters someone who isn’t afflicted with those issues, she is gonna become livid and stab him. The only flaw with this analysis is that she didn’t kill Jin (he of the freshly permed coiffe) too.

The only thing I liked about the episode was the Shannon reference when Hurley found her inhaler. I took that scene as an implied apology by the Lost writers to the audience for letting the show become so awful. It was like they were saying to us — “Oh please, remember when this show was good, and don’t hate us for fucking it up.” The problem is that, by reminding of us that the show was once good, they are accentuating the present shittiness.

I wasn’t really watching all that closely, but I could have sworn that the lighthouse was a CGI image superimposed on the screen, I guess that would make sense since they’re not gonna waste their budget to build a lighthouse like that for a few horrible scenes. Anyway, it looked like they tried to make the structure similar to historical recreations of the Lighthouse at Alexandria (one of the Seven Ancient Wonders of the World).

The mind, it boggles at the pointlessness of this show.

Watched Predator on Sci-Fi instead. He was one ugly motherfucker.

That episode definitely sucked. Yes, this is the real Troll speaking.

What we learned this week:

1. Damon and Carlton (who wrote the episode) like the Danielle character so much that they’re going to let Claire play it for awhile.

2. The smoke monster is going to the temple. We’ve already learned this in previous episodes, but I guess when you write for Lost you get bonus money for running a plot point into the ground. Consequently, it might be 7 or 8 more weeks before he actually arrives.

3. Damon and Carlton really like the quick-shock-moment in The Shining where a crazy person kills a defenseless black guy with an ax-blow to the gut.

4. Alt-Jack has daddy issues as well as sonny-boy issues. (On a personal note, I hope they don’t tell us right away why the kid is so interested in Chopin. That’s a mystery I really care about and would like to have strung out as long as possible.)

5. Even though two or three hundred different characters have spent almost every waking moment walking from one end of the island to the other, they’ve all managed to miss the big fucking lighthouse. D & C knew this might be a problem with the fans, so they actually addressed it right away with some classic Lost dialogue that makes this show so much better than anything else that’s ever been on television: Jack: “How did we miss this?” Hurley: “I don’t know dude.” Brilliant!

Finally, how about that teaser for next week’s episode? It’s apparently going to be so action-packed and answer-specific that ABC could only show us quick little snippets of what’s to come. That show is going to be awesome! ABC has never lied about answering questions, so I’m sure that this one episode will convert me into just as big of a fan as our favorite chickenshit troll.

Ok, some good analysis so far, but here’s my take. I think there were some very serious clues in this episode, but the only thing everyone is focusing on is Jack getting 7 years bad luck. I think the point of it was for Jack to destroy the magic lighthouse so the island would not bring anyone else there. Now, my perception is slowly becoming that Jacob is the bad guy and Smokey is good (Darlton have repeatedly said don’t think white is good and black is bad). So the numbers represent compass directions where Jacob could watch Jack’s house? Has to be more than that. The real question now is in alternate flash sideways, did Hurley win the lottery with his own picks or did he play the “cursed” numbers? Probably won’t answer that one. I digress; Claire I believe is the new Rousseaux (French not my language so pardon me Laurent), but does that mean Rousseaux was bad also? What is the tie? They tortured Claire a la Sayid style and tried to kill her also. Now her friend (Locke/Smokey) shows up all smiles and sees Jin (now a cowering pussy afraid of 80lb Claire). Who wants to bet Locke/Smokey sweet talks Jin into his crusade by bribing him with the “I know where your wife is” line? So are Locke/Smokey, Claire, and Jin going to break into the temple and do what? The smoke monster knows the underground areas so what does he need Jin for? What is Jack supposed to find staring into the Ocean? Since Sawyer and Kate left, the only one at the temple is tainted Sayid, so is he the first/next to go? And why is the flight attendant part of the others?

Ok, back to the season 1 list of crap that will never be answered. Numbers? Oh yeah, they don’t mean anything. So why were they stamped on the hatch? Why did Rose’s cancer disappear and Locke could walk? But why did Shannon still need an inhaler? What is the obsession with pregnancy? Are they correlating the disease they “quarantined” people for with the sickness Sayid now has? What about the food drops? Dharma was still dropping food in S1, why if they had all been killed off by the “others”?

Of course, next week we’ll get answers to questions that we don’t really care about, and the previews for 2 weeks from now will promise earth shattering revelations. What a ploy for not showing previews, that just means it’s going to suck even worse but if they show a preview it might scare you off.

As for the flash sideways crap, I agree, filler. So if the Japanese dude hadn’t gone to the island he would be some respectable business man who runs into Jack. Who cares. Jack has a dickhead teenager who seems afraid of him. Who cares. Hurley is a rich lucky bastard instead of unlucky. Unless they bring back Cheech, who cares?

There will be no groundbreaking stuff next week either. Lost V5 or V5.5 is nothing like Lost V1 and no matter what they do, it won’t bring back the feel of S1.

Last note, did anyone read the tweet that Darlton had about people calling episodes “filler”? Said to watch NCIS Los Angeles. I think people are doing that already.

CPT Preevyet on duty in Georgia

Don’t forget there are two Islands. The “Black Rock” dynamite ship, the First Mates Ledger, the painting of the Black Rock in Widmores Office. The Hanso Family also famed for producing the “Kill Bill” Samurai swords. Desmond is unstuck in time. Sawyer made a “con man deal” with Ben way on back. Digging holes. Hurly in Australia. The magical numbers on the hatch. Pushing the button, the sky turning purple. Mr. Eko’s mystical walking stick.

You guys all have made great points and reminded me of many moments, storylines, and characters i’d forgotten I needed to remember giving a shit about.
Never know, myself, where to begin with any in depth criticism anymore when such goofiness has run amuck and the whole show sucks so amusingly much anymore. Tyler’s silence is understood.
And it must suck being an actor or crewman stuck in their contract on Lost, stumbling through the embarrassment, simply going through their paces just to get it the hell over with so they can go on and try to salvage their careers and creative professionalism.
In the meantime, I guess the paycheck makes up for the diminished dignity.

Wasn’t this a filler episode?

Lost – taking the dumb blonde joke to the extreme.

Last night it was Locke’s turn to do a John’s-a-poppin.

Full frontal wet t-shirt Hurley? Gads… what demographic is that supposed to be trying to grab? A nice musical interlude but they should have had Randy Newman singing “fat people have got no reason”

“didn’t love it” at the fuselage has 3 pages already -a record, i believe. ven kate’s suckfest didn’t get that many negative posts in 12 hours. I am really feeling the love!!~ Soon we will have many new friends.

from the suckelage: “Jack smashing the magic mirror thing might be the most frustrating thing I’ve ever watched on television. We spent three seasons watching Jack single-mindedly and recklessly trying to get his people off the island and once he does, he comes to regret it so much that he goes back to the island to try set things right, because he believes he did something wrong, and he believes he needs to go back. After seeing the things he’s seen and experienced the things he’s experienced, you’d think he would be a little more thoughtful and contemplative, a little more patient, but nope! After two seconds up there, he’s all WHY DO I SEE MY HOUSE? WHY ISN’T JACOB HERE? I WILL SMASH THIS AMAZING THING! So much for character development, I guess. What makes it worse is that Jacob…. apparently… wanted that to happen? Or something? So is someone coming to the island or not?

All of these characters acting so irrationally is really compromising the pay-off. None of it makes sense and so none of it ultimately matters. Why show this magic lighthouse if we’re just going to see it smashed? Why go through the awkwardness of Hurley explaining why no one noticed the lighthouse if the whole affair was some convoluted scheme to teach Jack a lesson?

Remember when this show used to be fun?”

We’ve just about all all been there, and we used to wait for the show and evangelize about it the day afterward. But we sensed the abusive relationship and moved on, but still miss our show and wonder how it’s doing.. and are still angry that it let itself slide so far downhill. (try listening to those 2 dickwads’ podcasts and keep your faith in the show)

Someone said above that the creators said they had no idea where the flashsideways were going, does anyone have a link to confrim a interview on that or anything?

I don’t go to the fuselage or other Lost sites, but I found this comment on “What Alan’s Watching” a really good tv blog written by Alan Sepinwall – whose only flaw is that he still (sort of) likes Lost. This is what a commenter named “Ryan” said about the numbers in the lighthouse. I believe he is one-hundred percent serious.

“But the biggie was definitely a completely-not-crossed-off “Austen” at 51. Interesting, because if you do the equation: 4+8+1+5+1+6+2+3+4+2+5+1, you get…42. Also, 51 could be a reference to Area 51, where something beyond our imagination may have happened (and maybe Kate as a candidate is beyond what MIB is expecting, and she could be his downfall?) Finally, the “reading WAY too much into it” connection with Area 51 — both “Kate” and “Austen” contain the letters “ET.” OK, that’s probably a coincidence…”

So if you add up all the numbers chosen by the writers it adds up to…wait for it…a number chosen by the writers. AMAZING. And, omg, the number tangentially references something that has nothing to do with the show. And, omg, a character’s names contain the two most common letters in the alphabet.

And if you assign the number 14 to J, 7 to A, 1 to C and 11 to K you get the number 33 which was Larry Bird’s number, and we all know that Jack likes the Red Sox. Now I’m not saying that Jack can fly like a Bird but…it can’t be a coincidence, can it?

I don’t usually pick on “fanboys”, and I know this might start a flame war, but the people who still like this show are so…fucking…retarded.

The only new thing we learned is what a child of a dirty bush woman and a flying fart looks like.

In the end?

After riveted watching some 4 years ago, I remain as the only family member to even care to tune in now….and I hate the show.

My belief? That the writers are actually incapable of answering anything and in fact, like children, are only capable of posing questions. It takes a poor intellect after 4 years not to be able to take pride in directly addressing the growing disappointment and resentment that now surrounds LOST. The age of its viewers is shifting, leaving only the most junior and least demanding left to add numbers and remain hopeful that, in the end, it wasn’t all just a huge waste of time.

I, for one know, that in the end Gilligan’s Island provided more entertainment and better writing.

Good grief, this is just sad. At this point, I don’t know whether to bash Lost any more, since it’s might be like hitting a 5 year old in a wheelchair.

Noticed how the promos are just fucking with us now? ‘ANSWERS ANSWERS, the time for questions is over, now you’ll get some ANSWERS’. What answers? I must have missed them because I was only watching EVERY SECOND of the episode.
But I guess the fans fall for it every episode: “Don’t worry Charlie Brown, this time I’m not going to pull away the football, I promise!” “Promise?” “Yes.” “…O.k.” and then the fans run towards what seems like an answer and the writers pull it away.

The density of events in an average lost episode, i.e. the amount of meaningful events per unit time is less than the density of outer space. They should win a Nobel prize for achieving the highest level of vacuum in the universe.

and if the writers really had planned everything in advance, they would have added a dingo to the list of animals being experimented on by the Dharma people. Because when (the Australian!) Claire asked “where’s ma baaabbbeeeyy”? Jin could have answered… well you know what.

And it bothered the U.S Army not a whit that soldiers, tents, uniforms, A-Bomb, Island and all went missing? BUT the Island was in one place long enough for The Army and Dharma to make definite plans about it. For an Island that no one can find it gets a lot of traffic.

Wow, some of the reviewers have lost all sanity. Been looking at reviews online, clearly a waste of time.. but found some gems.

“I have to admit, the lighthouse sort of blew my mind. A mirror that can see specific points on the mainland with each degree representing a different person. While it might have come out of left field it’s creative and a pretty good explanation for what the numbers are.”

yes, that IS a pretty good explanation. Also. let me explain the 4 toed statue: I enjoy cabbage.

makes as much sense.

OK, like a dork fanboy I went home at lunch and flipped through the DVR of Lost. Forgive me, but I watched it live in HD last night and I missed a few minutes here and there. Something dawned on me, a while back team Darlton claimed it could all be explained by current technology and wasn’t science fiction. We all know where that went. But then I remembered something else they said, and please correct me if I am wrong (I know you will), but didn’t they also say that it wasn’t some utopia or perdition or limbo state between Heaven and hell? Well, they’ve jerked us around about everything else, why not this? Here’s the thought, Jack in the b-universe has an appendectomy scar. Don’t recall if his current self has it but they seemed to make a big deal about it. He acted as if he didn’t remember it, but knew it happened. That got me thinking that they are all in some sort of dream state, and the whole island thing is a dream (though they said they wouldn’t do that). Not sure where to go with this, but wouldn’t be surprised if the whole thing was a dream. Now wake up. BTW, who splashes water on their face? I can’t recall the last time I came home from work and did that.

Also, wasn’t 108 degrees the heading that everyone used to get off the island, like when Michal and Walt Chamberlain departed? So the numbers do all correlate (they add up to 108) to something, I just think this BS explanation of the lighthouse is too convenient.

Anyway, wanted to throw that out there while it was fresh.

CPT Preevyet

That was a real boom moment when Lindsey Vonn fell. Thank God the polar bear didn’t get her.

Didn’t someone mention how Jacob is like Obi Wan Kenobi?
I tell ya the prodicers of the show read this blog to come up with even suckier ideas for Lost.

last nights episode was a waste of time…..all i want is the return of mr eko and anna lucia this season…probably not gonna happen but will def help the show…if any good was to come this season nikki and paulo wud also return

how it ends….
……………or some of it…..

Skeletons in Cave: Claire and Said.

Last scene of series: Locke in Black, Jack in White, sitting on beach, like Jacob and MIB in season 5 finale.

(Jack wins the wacky candidate game)

AND IN ALT-VERSE:

Jack fixes Locke’s Spine, Locke’s wedding, Old Spice commercial.

Jack marries fellow doc Miss Blinks-A-Lot.

Kate and Sawyer hook up in prison.

LET IT BE KNOWN

Oh, and to all the losties, SPOILER

ha, ha

My belief is that everybody is over analyzing everything. At the end of this complete and total suckfest they will finally unleash the hounds!!!! Pretty mysterious eh?????

Proof that the writers had no clue how this thing would end is the use of that dumb lighthouse. If they did have a clue they would not have needed the lame plot device where Jack asks Hurley how they missed it all this time on the island. They would have somehow introduced the lighthouse in a prior season.

Also, and as someone has pointed out earlier, there were originally TWO godamn islands. What happened to the other one!!!!

SPOILER!

Tally up who’s in the flash-sideways. The character you never see appear in the side-world? That’s the candidate who looks over the island now. And it’s going to be Sawyer. Twist!

The mystery kid runnin’ around telling Locke/MIB the rules? Totally Aaron. Twist!

Where’s my cookie? I has the juice! There’s a new fan-man in town. I invite your abuse.

I just Googled “season 6 of Lost sucks” and found my way here. This is most good, most good indeed. I do love Lost, and I could just about deal with the time travel malarkey in season 5 but all this voodoo mythical crap with Jacob and magic mirrors and Smoky Locke just does my head in.

The twists in Lost used to be good: Oh wow! Where are we? Who is this guy on an exercise bike? What just happened? Where are we going? Up? Hey! That’s Jack and Locke! OH MY GOD WE WERE JUST IN THE HATCH?!

We go from there to: Lol Jin, I’m not alone, lol, I have my friend. Lol, look. No that’s not John, silly, that’s my friend. Lol. Oh my god, freaky right?

The twists are so fantastical and blatantly made-up-on-the-spot that it takes REAL effort to care even the tiniest bit.

I do however like the parallel reality where the plane didn’t crash, but I wonder if it just seems good in conjunction with the crap that’s happening on the island…

Anyway. I really had to rant about my feelings on season 6 so far because all of my friends who watch it too seem to love it and I recognise it for the debacle it is. No doubt I’ll keep watching though…

Why have the writes totally emasculated the male characters on the show? Jack is a whiny bitch with daddy issues who throws tantrums and destroys things when he gets frustrated. Then spend the rest of the episode teary eyed or pouting somewhere.

Sawyer has turned into a crying little baby who lost his binkie. Enough already! Its pretty sad when the female characters like Claire now have more balls than any of the men on the island.

Just saw the story about Matthew Fox’s sex scandal. They kill you off for a DUI, what about this? It all seems rather fishy since it happened in Oregon, where Ben was born.

CPT Preevyet

First, SMOKIE NOT LOCKE, I read your comment to my post (way up) and thanks man! your posts are also excellent and funny as hell.
————-
now to business…
I don’t think it’s nice of Jacob simply to cross out names, I think he should do it “The Bachelor” style:

You know, Sayid, you are an amazing person, and it’s been a wonderful experience, and I enjoyed every moment of this amazing journey, I really learned a lot about you and your family and your history in these past few monthes and you are so special and amazing; I was really falling for you, I really felt that there is a chance that you are the one. But, I’m here to find a succesor and unlike other island leaders who said they wanted to find a replacement and didn’t follow through, I am serious; So, somewhere along this wonderful journey, and after a lot of soul searching, I just felt that I connected a little better with the other candidates. But know this: You are an amazing person and there is nothing wrong with you and I’m sure there is an island somewhere for you, Sayid. I am weeping inside because I fear that I’ve broken your heart, and I’m sorry for that. but it doesn’t seem destined for us. So with a heavy heart I must continue this journey without you, my amazing Sayid.
Oh, and could you please swallow this amazing poison pill on your journey out?

JACOB: Hey Hurley, you and Jack need to go to this lighthouse because there’s someone who needs to get to the island and you need to something there so he can.
HURLEY: OK Ghost dude.
HURLEY: Hey Jack, come with me on a jungle trek.
JACK: No.
HURLEY: Hey Jack, Jacob Says, come with me on a jungle trek.
JACK: Well, if you put it like that.
[Lots of time killing walking through the jungle]
HURLEY: Whoa it’s a lighthouse dude.
JACK: So what do we do now?
HURLEY: Um, Jacob didn’t really say.
JACK: How about we try this?
[Jack smashes the Romper Room magic mirror]
HURLEY: Hey Ghost Dude. Sorry about your mirror, I guess that person won’t be getting to the island.
JACOB: It’s OK, Hurley, he’ll just have to get here some other way.
HURLEY: So there’s another way this guy can get to the island, but you sent us on a jungle trek to this lighthouse anyway? You mean this whole episode accomplished nothing? You suck, dude, I can see why you got killed.

Jack’s mom calls him ten times to come over because she can’t find her dead husband’s will. Jack arrives, and ten seconds later she pulls a very large envolope marked “LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT” where it is lying in plain view right behind said dead husband’s desk on said dead husbands bookshelf.

I guess she need Hurley to show up and say, “dude, how come it was there the whole time and we never saw it?”

Well I guess Tyler must have ran off my evil twin. To bad for him I guess. Worst thing about it is I was just beginning to kinda like him. Oh well, sorry about yer luck. Try harder next time eh!!!!!!!!!!

Was reading in the spoiler section in the fuselage. The island is a 4 letter word but without the letters A and E aparently. So I came up with the following and sloved every single mystery on this show:

DUMB

This show has become incredibly bad. Last season was at least funny. Now it is totally pathetic.
Thank God Breaking Bad is coming.

This show will probably end like Newhart, none of the events ever happened, and they were the product of Jack’s imagination.

(Yeah they planned this, originally Jack was supposed to die on episode 1 or 2, but they changed it later, yeah, that sounds planned).

5 season story arc, planned, but executed badly.

When I watch doctor who
they embed little easter eggs the master’s drumbeat, and pay it off later, they don’t attempt to, first attract a smart audience, with a well constructed drama, lure us in.

Then when the mainstream comes in and can’t follow it, they have to dumb it down, and ditch the story arc elements that fans love, so all the teases were never paid off.

This is really selfish writing, being deliberately vague, and calling it “enigmatic” when really it’s just terse on the details that support the believability and make something “real” enough to suspend belief.

The posters on this site, have long since suspended belief. This show jumped the shark a long time ago. I don’t think I’ll ever give another network sci fi show a chance, it’ll just morph into something that even mainstream people can understand and digest, while disregarding the patient audience members who made the show a success in the first place.

I’m just waiting for a unicorn now.
A WIZARD DID IT!

They have endless cliffhangers, only to get you to tune in to watch more commercials, not because they can grasp the lost universe. They have got to be huffing gas, in the writer’s room, this stuff only sounds good if you’re high.

Whew. I gave up on this nonsense early into last season and only come here once in awhile for a good read and some funny posts. I feel like a recovering drug addict that looks back on his bad habits and feels proud that he is no longer on the train. I figure I’ll just wait until the final and come to the site to hear what this silly show finally decided it was about. Man I wish this would have been different. Such a great premise in the first two seasons turned into a day time soap. No offense to day time soaps! Good luck brethren on your journey to the end. I hope you all can make it. I put down the Lost crack pipe along time ago.

When I imagine a Lost cast meeting at the begining of every new season, I always see in my mind Oprah standing there and yelling “you get a flashback, you get a flashback EVERYBODY GETS A FLASHBACK.

Can someone tell me, in what ep did kate tell Jin about the baby? How did he know about it

if i read all the post i wont find time to write anything

\so i will just start

these was the most boring 43 minutes of my life

nothing new at alllllll same mysteries same stupid non-sense connections between the charachters. introducing new things and just destroy them . its very embarrassing to the cast and the writers.

all i want to say is ..

SAME SHIT….Different episode!!!

Has anyone ever seen the Butterfly Effect, with Ashton Kutcher, not the other one, that one sucked…Anyway, everytime Ashton went back and changed something when he came back he was downloaded, so to speak, with the new memories of the new present. I’m thinking that the island did happen, and as Juliet said “it worked” so the flash sideways is the what happened after the bomb destroyed the island in 1977. Why Ben is there is beyond me, cause he should be underwater with everyone else. I think Ethan was with his mother when they let women and kids leave the island…Anyway, I’m hoping that somehow the island and flash sideways will somehow merge. It’s obvious that every now and again, there are little island references to the b-universe 2004, Jack and Kate stares, Claire “knowing” Aaron’s name, and Jack’s scar.

While it’s somewhat interesting to see what would’ve or maybe did happen, I agree that the lack of answers is so damn annoying. I used to watch the show taking notes and trying to figure stuff out. Now I just gave up, they’re not gonna answer anything I want to know. Are we ever going to see Whidmore and Penney in sideways? what about Desmond? Why the hell was Walt so damn important and now he is barely even remembered?! What about Faraday, I actually liked his crazy-ass. And someone else mentioned the Dharma food drops. I have been asking that question for years now! Why were they still making drops? WHO made the drop? Are we going to learn about the station map drawing on the Swan wall? I don’t care about all these new characters, all the other other others, I can’t take it anymore! STOP INTRODUCING NEW PEOPLE!!!!!
They keep saying that this season is “wrapping up S1″ and even in stupid enhanced 8pm showings all they ever refer to is S1, but there are NO S1 answers! They are basically only “answering”, and I use the word very loosely, last season questions. And I hope that this is not the only numbers explanation that we get, cause I saw no explanation! so what the numbers were in the cave and on the giant wheel in the lighthouse, that doesnt explain anything. Jacob assigned those numbers….why?
Whatever, I can’t anymore….just gonna sit back and wait and probably be let down!
btw- still hate Kate!!!!!!!

I just watched the lighthouse scene again.

Hurley tells Jack to tell him to stop pulling the chain when “it” gets to 108.

Hurley grabs the chain and starts pulling. It’s a nasty, old, rusty chain. Then the camera shows a closeup of the chain going through the pulley and it is a brand new shiny chain! Then they show Hurley pulling on it again and now it’s old and rusty once more!

Wow! That’s neato!

It is so ridiculous that in the promos they say that you will answers, everything will be answered etc. Even the characters say that “I want answers”
“I’ll tell you everything” etc.

We all know there are NO answers, as thsese 2 hacks never had a plan.

I was just over at the new LOST SUCKS site. I knew that dude was waisting his time, but holy crap, I figured it would do better then that. Well I hate saying I told ya so, so I won’t but I sure should. Oh well, sometimes thats how it works, and there ain’t a damb thing ya can do about it. Its kinda sad really, but sorry about yer luck because I told ya so!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Couldn’t help myself………..

i was on thi site “killingthebuddha.com” and read this…it made me think maybe this was what the killing of jacob was about…

The idea of “killing the Buddha” comes from a famous Zen line, the context of which is easy to imagine: After years on his cushion, a monk has what he believes is a breakthrough: a glimpse of nirvana, the Buddhamind, the big pay-off. Reporting the experience to his master, however, he is informed that what has happened is par for the course, nothing special, maybe even damaging to his pursuit. And then the master gives the student dismaying advice: If you meet the Buddha, he says, kill him.

Why kill the Buddha? Because the Buddha you meet is not the true Buddha, but an expression of your longing. If this Buddha is not killed he will only stand in your way.

Also on that site, on the main page is a link to an article about why lost should end without tieing up all the loose ends….its pretty good!

Just watched the ep last night, so bare with me guys…

Well as we all know Jack centric episodes can be hit or miss sometimes, but this one for the most part was indeed a hit…It’s easy to get caught up in the endless mind-scratching confusion that LOST just seems to heap on you like a white plate of truck-stop pancakes, so despite my complaints about many many things, sometimes I just want to step outside my brain-freeze and just enjoy good acting and character interaction…This episode had that…

Jack and Hurley’s relationship has come a long way and as they walked to the Lighthouse you finally got that sense that Jack no longer looks at Hugo as some secondary follower, but as an equal…That made the Lighthouse scene and discovery of the name-wheel so much more intense than I could have imagined…The Jack that pummeled those mirrors, THAT’S my Jack! That’s season 1-2 Jack! Not burdened by the greatness of the mystery, just an intensity and edge that says to plow threw the maze wall rather than calculate each twist and turn…As he screm and shouted “Why was he watching me!! What does he want from me!!” I actually found myself cheering and fist pumping at the TV for the first time in long while…That’s the Jack that’s our main character…If this episode gave him his mojo back then that in itself was worth it…

Jack trying to be Locke just doesn’t work…Jack is a problem-solver, almost a psychopath in his desire to fix what is broken (which made the revelation of him going back to the island to fix his broken pride really hit me)…

So yeah, Lighthouse this, Alt-Jack that, Claire WTF?, but despite whatever criticism I might have for the way the plot is being revealed (and trust me I do in spades), it was nice to have the character I consider the show’s true main character to finally have a dramatic breakthrough in performance, and i think people who I may even agree with on how frustrating “this or that” is, shouldn’t sleep on the fact that this show can have some really great performances and the show can be worth watching on that alone sometimes (Sawyer and the Smokness Lockster taught me that last week again)…

I think we finally got Jack back this week though…What it means for the rest of the show IDK…But atleast that was nice for me…

This show no longer follows any tangible plot. There are people wandering around an island with no real motive, while those same people drive around LA, with even less motive, and we just watch them, and wait for the “plot twists.”

Elements of good storytelling:

Character motivation: FAIL
Plot with escalating stakes: FAIL
No wasted scenes, dialog: FAIL
Coherence and believability: FAIL
Cast of characters we care about: FAIL
A trace of hope that the ending will be satisfying: FAIL

BOOM!
LOST

Nico dude I’ve read and gotten lots of chuckles from many of your posts (In a good and bad way)…You certainly have your own strong opinions, some inwhich I honestly agree, but I’m a pretty sophisticated human being with the ability to intricately and intrinsically understand who I am, what I like and what principles I follow while making critical examinations…IMO it appears Hurley and Jack’s relationship has ventured a far way from tub-o-ranch fat dude that follows his every order to something much closer to equals…Despite my many gripes on certain storytelling elements I did enjoy their interaction and how they’ve bridged the gap so to speak in overall island importance…So thank you for ripping what you believe is a “ridiculous statement” on my part and using that as another momentary Pacman ghost for you to try and snack on and profane your LOST agenda…I’m fine with what I’ve written as it came naturally to me while watching, so pardon me if i don’t appear to be shaken up by your sweepings…

“At least I didn’t curse you out or call you retard, right?”

@Nico – Heh^^…Well I thank you for that exercise in civility…Not a common occurrence on this blog that’s for sure…

Personally I have never liked Jack. He has always acted like a spoiled rotten, cry baby, whiney assed, know it all, have to have it my way or else I will have a temper tantrum, sarcastic, disrespectful little bitch whose father should have beat the living shit out of him for being such an arrogant, conceited, asshole that he is… He is almost as bad of a fuck up as Kate. But thats just my opinion.

I love it how it used to be only the intelligent people can understand this show and if you complained about it you just weren’t smart enough to even be watching such an intellectual masterpiece. Now the mood seems to be quite different. Fanbois are have become extremely disgruntled with the way the show has turned. With each passing episode the disappointed fanboy comes to the realisation that he has been duped, and for quite some time now. The few remaining loyalists will surely come to recognize their own denial of this in the very near future. It is not just the unanswered questions. It is also the unanswerable ones, and the ones that never will be answered, that swells the total frustration in the heart of the dissatisfied fanboy. It seems that a couple of seasons ago the masterpiece started to fade, the paint started to peel, and slowly the picture became unrecognisable to the point that it looked nothing similar to the original painting. Such as LOST the excitement of collecting easter eggs and the urge to discover similarities in the clues that were vaguely referenced from other stories, was lost. It soon became trivial and insignificant. As all who watched in utter amazement and shock, at the lack of effort and complete annihilation of the once great masterpiece fell into ruins right before their very eyes. Anger will soon turn to disgust as the once beloved show draws nearer to its end. When its final episode is done and the curtains close for the last time, the deception will become clear even to the most loyal of them all. That is when it will become so apparent to all, beyond a shadow of a doubt that it sucked the whole time…..

Correct me if i’m wrong but, in the lighthouse on the magic mirror’s cog all the numbers had names assigned to them. 23 = Shepard. yes?

So why not look at who’s name is next to 108? Wouldn’t THAT answer the question as to who is coming to the island?

Or is that not retarded enough?

davey

Beloved fans of LOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will do something to bring you guys back to your life…
We will ALL get of this fucking island.

Thanks,

Dr. Fucking Sheperd Mother Fucker

I really have to thank you guys!

You have healed me.

I am finally able to let go. Good night.

Gosh, go away for a weekend and intelligent discussion happens. Can’t wait to see what happens tomorrow night, but have a feeling we’ll see minimum 2 (two) jungle treks, at least 10 (ten) gun cocks, and a minimum 1 (one) long stare.

CPT Preevyet

Everybody chut up right now.
Pennywise the dancing clown did it.
Yes they float.
And when you’re down here you’ll float too.

testing testing

Comment by Plimp
2010-03-01 14:35:19
I have a question:
Why does Sawyer call Kate “Freckles” while Kate doesn’t have any freckles?
———-
I don’t think he meant her face.

Which brings to mind a Dave Attell monologue:

“I wish I had a parrot. I really do, and I wouldn’t teach him dirty words or songs, No. I would teach him phone numbers and addresses, and recipes. I’d use him more like a palm pilot, ya know? Or I’d teach him things that might save my life, ya know, like information, like “In case of an earthquake, get in a doorway. BRRRAAAHHHPP” “No one has freckles on their ass, use a condom. BRRAAAHHHPP” Thank you parrot. Here’s a grape.”

So Sawyer, next time you bang Kate, wear a condom.

First response. Test, test, check, test, check 1 2 3. Is this working?

If it wasn’t for that DAMNED hatch I’d never have wasted 100+ hours of my life. I remember when this series started. My wife was hooked instantly from the first episode. Me? I’d get up go into the bedroom right next door and hop on the computer for an hour. From the bedroom I could still kinda hear some of the dialog at times. Sounded pretty boaring to me but, every once in a while something unexpected would happen that would create a weird sound/noise which in turn always casued my wife to gasp dramtically or yell out some thing to the effect of, “oh my god”! or “what the fuck was that”! I’d sit dinking on the computer chuckling to myself that she was getting sucked into some poorly written fluke that wouldn’t last more than one season. As the season progressed I would often come out and pass through the livingroom on my way to the fridge for a soda and a snack. Once in a while I would stop and watch a few minutes with my wife. LOL! She would be so excited and want to tell me of something strange that had just happened. I’d listen then shake my head, laugh and say, “well, to each his own I’m glad you enjoy it”. I’d then retreve my snaks and retire back to the bedroom. But then along about the 11 episode I remember hearing that Boone and Lock had stumbled upon a hatch buried in the ground. This was the thing that really made me go, “what the fuck is going on here”? Next thing I knew we were sitting side by side eyes glued to the TV. What was down in that hatch? Things have finally got so strange that it now has my full attention. And then when we finally made it down into the hatch, met Desmond and heard his story. It was like WOW this is some cool shit going on here, I’m hooked too! But now, after 5 seasons I’m worn pretty thin, my wife too. So for the past two seasons we’ve decided to just mock it, laugh at it and cuss the creators, writers, directors and producers for playing us all for suckers.