Episode 11: Happily Ever After

HA – WHAT is it – not when do we start!

I thought this should be episode 11.

What happened to all the black folks on Lost???

Episode 11 with Desmond.

This was the best show of the season, hands down.

Do you know why?

No Kate.
No Sawyer.
No Sun.
Very little Jin (1 or 2 lines)
Very little Jack (1 or 2 lines)

Lots of Desmond.

This episode was a winner and definitely did not suck.

What a waist of an hour.

Desmond, I need you to make a sacrifice. Don’t ask me for any details, instead lets waste everybody’s time looking at your alternate life and after an hour or so you should be gung-ho to do whatever I need.

Wait! I just saw Michael on a commercial! We’re back!

Ok…I think I get it. Episode 11 was soooooo bad that we’re just going to act like it never aired…..right?

Arbitrary….
Contrived…..
Senselessly random…..
Yup, it’s a Desmond episode alright!

Remember everyone, ignore the trolls.

This wasn’t too bad an episode in itself. But I’ve been so detached from the Desmond character for so long that I didn’t feel his “eureka” moment with him. That’s the whole problem with the side universe thing: I have been completely unmotivated to care about how “everything is wrong and it was supposed to be different.” The whole side universe thing has just sort of…been there.

How many times are they smack us in the faces that Desmond and Penny are soulmates.
Basically the whole episode was this.

Desmond realizes the connection between the island and sideways world after meeting Penny. OMG the power of TRUE LOVE

Daniel realizes he blew up an island in another life after meeting Charlotte. OMG the power of TRUE LOVE.

Charlie becomes a zombie hobbit after remembering Clarie. OMG the power of TRUE LOVE.

Excuse me while I go throw up. It’s sad that the females are only allowed to be token love interests or mothers.

you are everybody…

I liked the fact that Desmond, being one of the top people of Wildmore, gets an assignment to organize a charity event. I guess Darlton started to steal ideas from Gossip Girl. xoxo Lost Girl

OK I am still a half an hour away from it starting and as I see it so far we have, 1 said it didn’t suck, a coupla so-so’s and, hell I don’t have enough fingers and toes for the thought it sucked catagory. Sounds like another typical episode of…..

The writers are really great in making up connection between the 2 time lines. They are now throwing out crap of sci-fi, supernatural and religion.

Uh guys, don’t we have much more important things to get to than see two English lads in LA wax poetic about love and fulfillment? Oh wait, this is how LOST has become. Nevermind.

Sup LOSTLOVERS…

Damn don’t know what was better, LOST or V 2nite…Man it’s good to not be Carlos Mencia, I mean be an American…

Holy Shit!! That fetus inside of her is a monster!!

Them sticking Desmond in that photon room and blasting him photon power was so F-ing stupid.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Widmore whips out a flux capacitor in next week’s episode. I half expected Jeff Goldblum to come out of those photon rays.

Jeezum Crow, that bitch even SOUNDS exactly like Tina Fey. Were the casting people drunk when they picked her, or have they been living in a cave for the last decade or so?

So, yeah… now we know the b-universe is connected to the a-universe and there is some bleed through. Something we kind of already knew, but that’s as good as it gets on Lost. Also, the blatant ripping off of Donnie Darko (among other sources) continues unabated. The writers of Lost wouldn’t know an original idea if it bit them on the ass like a Dharma (TM) brand polar bear.

I also seem to remember last week’s teaser giving the impression that somebody was going to die in this episode. I guess they meant the red shirt that bought it in the intrinsic field subtractor… er, I mean the electromagnetic thingamajigger.

Still not quite as boring as last week; with the amazing story of two characters who hadn’t had any lines in so long I forgot they were on the show. Still not any good either.

BOOM!

ASS-WIPE.

That episode was incredibly dull. Desmond looking for Penny again? Yawn.

Now all of a sudden people in the B universe are having dreams and other flashes of the ‘real’ universe. Some how rat-boy Daniel knows about the atom bomb theory causing things to screw up.

Once again they squeeze in cameo appearances from other characters. I got so angry when Jack popped up on the screen. We had a nice run there without him.

Charlie acting like a loon was stupid.

That old biddy warning Desmond didn’t do anything for me.

No wonder Penny was running the stairs. Looks like she’s packed on the pounds since last we saw her.

Next week’s episode looks even more ridiculous. Before we had Miles getting in touch with the dead, and now Tubley talks to dead people too.

Hi all – Did anyone else notice that the filming of tonight’s episode was really really weird. It reminded me of All My Children. What was up with that?!

Btw Kate sucks!!!

I was hoping the gadgets in Widmore’s control room would make the beeping and whistling noises that the computers in Star Trek classic would make.

OK time to add some of my thoughts…..

….Zoey really is a hideous actress, as well as another useless character. I really appreciated when Sayid murdered the storyline dreck that was Dogen/Lennon. Why couldn’t he have just shot Zoey in the face instead of telling her to run?

…..While I loved seeing Widmore get smashed in the face, I Iaughed even harder that his headwound started as a huge Gash and within a couple of mins., looked like someone tagged his forhead with some red watercolor paint in a single brushstroke. Perhaps a red sharpie?

….Jin seems to have just given up on finding Sun. He just tra-la-la-la’s with Widmore’s group for now. Also he seems very content with not getting an answer to his question, and just being interupted by another one of the Widmore filler cast.

….Boy the writes just CAN”T GET ENOUGH of the flash-sideways cameo’s WE GET IT! There all connected.

….Wild prediction by Desmound that Claire will have a boy (way to make a 50/50 guess brotha)

…..Anyone else suprised to see the Desmound was going to see Widmore??? Or that Widmore’s wife was Eloise??? Genius writing guys, simply genius.

….Widmore going on and on about, “everything will be gone forever” We all know by now these statements are made to be broken. Remember “The Island will be destroyed” Seasons 2 and 4? Or, “If your going to go back to the island, you all must return. If you don’t, it will not work.” In season 5? Yet somehow Aaron was the exception to that BS. These statements are ALWAYS proven wrong!

….Charlie’s rescue from the car: This was the one that really took the cake for me. When Desmound goes back down to rescue him, he doesn’t go through the already open driver door. Doesn’t go through the open sunroof the camera shows us as Desmound 1st surfaces. He wrestles and wrestles with the passenger door. Why? So we can get that stupid glimpse of him seeing “not Penny’s boat” on Charlies hand. I’ll admit I never really cared for Charlie’s character, I always found him to be selfish and unnecessary. But he was more of a waste of time in this one episode than in seasons 1,2, and 3 combined!

…. Like someone else said above. We get that Penny and Desmound were meant to be! Move on please!

……Finally we seem to have an exchange of a catatonic Sayid, for a catatonic Desmound. Don’t know about you, but I sure thought that was lame. Then again I’m reminded of The Black rock off shore in season 5, then seeing it topple a multiple hundred foot stone statue a handful of episode later. Two words. SLOPPY WRITING!

On the other hand I appreciated no Kate, and no hungry Hurley.

As you have probably read in my previous posts about the other episodes, I had stated my prediction of a Sopranos type ending. Well I want to take that prediction one step further. Anyone else see the end of the latest Indiana Jones Movie???

BOOM

Aliens

Maybe have a cross promotion with Juliet from VVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEE

Everyone else like how Desmond’s car ACCELERATED when Charlie grabbed the wheel?

Must’ve been a Toyota…

That was certainly 62 minutes of something.

It might have been a good starting point for a show but kinda sucked as one of the final episodes of one.

So 5 episodes left and we get a flash sideways episode that explains nothing that has been happening the previous 5 seasons?

The actual on island timeline advanced about 10 minutes in the whole episode. At this rate the whole final season will have taken place in the span of about 2 days on the island.

I want to tongue Zoe’s grimy butt-hole.

I want to begin with the disclaimer that, overall, despite Desmond being (by far) my favorite character, this episode was cheesy and drawn out—not too good. So any “compliments” hereafter should be taken with a grain of salt.

However, the idea of the 2 worlds interacting makes the show much more interesting. Seeing the “flashsideways” lives of Jack, Kate, and Sawyer were thrilling, don’t get me wrong [NOT!!!!], but now that we know there is crossover and Eloise knows there is/can be crossover, then we might be driving to a reasonable (for LOST standards, mind you) conclusion, or maybe just driving into a pier near the Pacific Ocean. Look, however Faraday….errrrrrr… Daniel WIDMORE figured out they were in a “previous” life that they changed from, i.e. the “real” one we’ve been seeing for 5 seasons, can and should be ignored. He woke up one day after having a wet dream of Charlotte and drew these complex equations that his friend happened to know what they were? Right. The real problem I have with this is the line of logic Faraday is using. If he believes (correctly, somehow) that his “past life” self used a nuclear bomb to change things and arrive at his current life, then WHY would he want to find a way back? To be with Charlotte? The chick he can talk to and knows that she’s alive (in the current timeframe)? HOW IRRATIONAL. I want to repeat this so everyone gets it. Daniel Faraday…errr…Widmore is a big enough genius to figure out he once lived in a previous life in which he was able to use a nuclear bomb to blow up something so that this timeline would cease to exist and now wants to go back??????

As I said earlier, I’m FOR reconnecting the timelines. The writers should not be allowed to have their cake and eat it to, so to speak (multiple timelines=multiple endings=characters can find redemption and be heroes and be “FOUND” and be whatever else…..). And having Desmond be the “sacrafice” and hero of the entire show is certainly a plus. To me, he’s the one good character left. Sure, he can be a “coward” or whatever, but his storyline was always interestingly tragic. When he got pissed off, he did so for good reason. Hell, he’s been through the most (time travel flashes, “visions”, isolation in the Swan, etc).

The Charlie thing (about him seeing Claire when he almost died) is retarded. HEY Lostwriters. Charlie is dead on the island in the “real” timeline, because the writers needed a “touching” and “memorable” and “sad” moment for the season 3 finale. Sure, a moonpool doesn’t really feel up w/ water that quickly or to that height in reality, but it was moving to see Charlie sacrafice himself and write “NOT PENNYS BOAT” on his hand. And he did so for a good reason, right? So Claire could get into a helicopter w/ Aaron? Cuz that’s what clairvoyent Desmond saw? Except that never happened, so Charlie died in vain, and now wants to die in vain again because he can never be w/ Claire on the island, except maybe as a ghost. Of course, he did ride in the same plane as her, and considering Claire befriended an escaped convict and eyefucked Desmond in the LAX terminal, I’m guessing Charlie wouldn’t have too much trouble striking up a relationship w/ “OtherClaire” in L.A.

The dialogue was, at times, horrendous. Everything was about “love.” You’d think the Lost writers are 15 year old girls who just experienced their first kiss. Gawd, there is much more to the show and much more to life than what the pathetic male characters in Desmond’s Otherlife think is love.

Unfortunately, although Desmond episodes are “game changers” (as Darlton loves to say), this one was too little too late. I could go on w/ other lame bits in this week’s episode, but it’s been said or it will be said. In season 3 we were able to put up w/ these cryptic, slowmoving shows because we had time (or so we thought). But it is quite apparent the only resolutions season 6 will bring are answers to season 6 questions like how the ALTverse ends up. Something the writers literally did not need to introduce.

One more plus: No Kate.

OK, YOU ALL EVERYBODY, god I love that song! Oh boy we got to see Charlie again. I was thinking, fucken Charlie and his stupid song can go jump in a lake!!! All of the sudden Charlie grabs the wheel and, I’ll be damned, right into the drink they go. The bastards read my mind. Well thats not saying much. So Desmanudo don’t get fried, but somehow gets mind melded into the alt, side-B, sunken treasure island verse, and wouldn’t you know it, he works for old Skidmore. Not only is he his right hand man but is even worthy enough to drink the good scotch. Well, kiss my ass and call me shorty. How about that for some convoluted bullshit eh? Smokie must be in charge of this somehow. You might say “don’t be ridiculous, everybody seems to be doing better on this side.” Well thats just what they want you to believe. Shit gonna hit the fan pretty quick for the flip side, just watch and see. If not, well who the hell really gives a rats ass anyways. Then guess who shows up? Guess dammit!!! Oh yeah, anyway its our old crybaby buddy Danny Fairygay. And guess what? Guess!!! OK I will quit that annoying shit. Anyway he is a musician with a journal! Well hells bells them piano lessons paid off after all. OK back at nuclear bomb, side-A verse Dizzy Dessy wakes up and is willing to do whatever anybody asks him to do. So he maybe didn’t get fried to a crackly crunch, but he sure is acting just like Sayid. So I take it he died and Smokie claimed him. OK, maybe not. But really who actually gives a shit at this point? Everything is going to be just peachy keen because he is going to have a coffee with Penny. It sure seems like this could have been a very exciting episode with lots of reveals. Instead its still the same shallow bullshit they been throwing at us for so long now that I really can’t remember what the show was about anymore. Snoozzzzzzzer deluxe…..

Is it just me or did alt-universe-nice-Widmore seem like a creepy, lecherous old queer who was buttering up Desomondo so he could sodomize him at some point?

Note to Desmond: The brake pedal is on the left.

That is all….

Some impressions:

- OMFG !! a test bunny again! So cool!!

- Judged by size of the ceramic isolators this magnetic coils run at atleast 50000 volt, so naturally a perfect combination with a wooden shell for the chamber

- Jin hasnt seen desmond for more than 3 years yet nothing more than an apathetic “whats he doing here”

- chubby role-model-ewok / “spence from king of queens” kiddo other other other other other. Are you Serious???

- “no no no dont move the on-switch”… inspite of this the operating guy is waiting ten seconds for the command to turn it off instead of drawing this conclusion by himself from the “no no no..”-part.

- how about fixing the chair to the ground you just fixed your test rat to? Otherwise: pointless!!!

- the big mystery was not desmond surviving the magnetic (non photonic) energy but him being physically transported out of the imploding hatch loosing all his clothes! Fuckheads!!!

- wow, Holy Whitmore!!! A painting with a scale that’s balancing out black and white! I feel my mind being blown!!

- whitmore, desmond… happily interconnected ever after with faraday now following his true passion, driveshaft, charly, eloise, penny… its a heart warming family reunion carried out that plump and without subtlety that I could puke! A wet dream on the level of harmony from disneys gummibears.
Although thanks to desmond i have to admit there was a glimpse of a vague familarity to the feeling Lost once was able to induce in you.

- charlie is committing suicide completely uselessly and unnecessarily in both realities even if it’s not disguised superficially as sacrifice

- the whole charlie-desmond/jedi-padawan ‘Realityshifters Anonymous’ ‘on the road to find out’ stuff is a most potentious bullshit.
Although thanks to desmond i have to admit … induce in you.

- in this episode a real back to the future like paradox, a space time singularity, a revelation of mind, a unification of perception and reality, a shifting of existence has occurred for the first time ever in the history of mankind which is of course synonymic to the airing of LOST:
It wasn’t
“I want to know” – “no i won’t tell you ever”
to avoid giving answers they never had, but
“I will tell you” – “no, I know it already”
…Taa-Daaahh!!!!

- how can a limo driver get his hands on a highly confident document like a flight manifest?
“George, could you also get me a piece of debris from roswell please?”
“George, bring me the batteries from Dick Cheney’s brain pacemaker!”

Watched for about 15 seconds. I saw Tina Fey’s stupid face trying to look worried, and corny ass music was playing.

I changed the channel.

Jin and Zoe were walking along the Hydra compound; Jin, acting SOMEWHAT curious about all the wacky Dharma equipment DESPITE the fact that he was IN the Dharma Initiative (even when they have a character act somewhat normal, they still come off as idiots), decides to start peeking at said equipment, when Zoe says:

THERE’S NO TIME FOR THAT!

Later, Sayid does his usual pop-up in the jungle and snaps random other other Other’s neck, and rather than explain to Desmond what is going on, he says:

THERE’S NO TIME FOR THAT!

Desmond, now a lumbering idiot from the giant thimble turned Tesla coil, simply says:

OKAY!

What a piece of shit episode. 5 episodes left (six if you count the finale), and we don’t know a goddamn thing.

Five bucks says that the alternate world is an illusion created by MIB or Jacob to keep the “candidates” at bay. Anyone else see a parallel to The Matrix? If memory serves me correctly, the first matrix was a paradise where no one suffered and it failed. People couldn’t accept a happy world.

Here we have a world where Kate can play Grand Theft Auto 3 and lose her wanted stars by simply driving into a Pay and Spray, Hurley is the luckiest guy on Earth and Desmond has Whitmore’s approval. Unfortunately Morph—uh, Charlie has given Desmond the red pill and now he wants to go free everyone’s mind.

This used to be a show about great characters- who thanks to some amazing writing, were in almost EVERY episode. even if some episode was lame, your favourites would still be there involved in something. now we only see 3-4 characters an episode
but worse
locke is not shaman locke but a smoke monster
sawyer is not the smart ass jerk
ben in a sniveling idiot- rather than perhaps mastermind
jack is not a leader but a cry baby
sayid is not focused but a zombie
claire is not a sweetie but a poor psycho
walt and vincent are awol
juliette, the sweetest character is dead
charlie the most likeable character is dead
hurley the funny guy is now now hurley the ghost whisperer

about the only character the same is kate…and she is the one that most needed and upgrade
who destroyed this show????

you know what it needs now. cesar milan to come by and give everyone a “shht”
“see this show needs some calm assertive energy…all these people are going all over acting crazy and …shtt…hey…jack hey….need to be a pack leader…hey locke…hey shht…come on, get that knife throwing sweat lodge burning back…this is a red zone case…”

you are/all everybody. what a pestilence, a white boy with a guitar. Toadie number 1 was checking out the electromagnetic bug zapper with a Star Trekkian gadget before being electrofuckated. What happened to Jack’s weird-assed tattoo’s that he got from the Filipino Tong Babe in Viet Nam? What happened to the back door of the island that spat people out into Tunisia? Why were they digging Holes? Did the 1977′ers get zapped back to the present or did the passengers that had Jacks Dad’s magical shoes travel backwards to meet them? Faraday looked neither like a musician or a Scientist. He looked like the gardner who was ducking out on trimming the hedges.

Each episode was filler this year. Nothing actually happened in 11 episodes. Awesome job.

Aren’t the writers of Lost supposed to be the masters of subliminal & hidden messages?
I suspect that showing us Sun’s cleavage was a 50s era style attempt to make us watch “V”. Get it? cleavage = V.
They will have to show us much more cleavage and of better quality in order to trick our brains to correlate “V” with cleavage and not with “Vomit”.
————————
I can’t believe it, Desmond is my favorite character, and they managed to ruin it!. Instead of the cool island Desmond, they decided to spend 97% of the time on the preppy, metro-fucking-sexual B-Desmond. WTF? At least if you are going to have suffer an intense electromagnetic radiation make him blue and godlike, like Doctor Manhattan.

- Yup, LOVE as a tool of manipulation. Now it’s Desmond and Charlie being manipulated by visions of true love. So this is season’s 6 theme – the power and weakness of love – Lost is officially a chick show.

Here’s a synopsis of this week’s episode: The two universes influence each other, and the geniuses in the B-verse somehow think the A-verse is better, and so they’re going to save it. WHAT???

…Well, at least it seems so. I mean, Desmond did find Penny in the B-verse so why is he fucking complaining? and Daniel and Charlie are ALIVE and can follow their hearts, so why are they complaining?
So it might be that when Desmond said to Widmore that he knew what to do, he didn’t mean “Help you” but “help the Smokinator”.
However it doesn’t seem that this is the case, because then there won’t be any real conflict at the end.
It could also be that they’ll save the A-verse but avoid the crash. that is get the best of two worlds. (and the worse of all endings)

Fuck me that was so bad it put me into a state of depression.

One minute in, Desomnd is bitching about Penny. Great we got another Sun&Jin. Then he pins done Widmore and smashes him in the face, giving him a scar which makes him look bad ass without affecting his acting abilities. How about have Desmond kill Widmore in a fit of rage. IM SICK AND FUCKING TIRED OF PEOPLE GETTING BASHED IN THE FACE WITHOUT CONSEQUENCE. If I smashed infected in the face he’d be crying and they’d have to wire his jaw shut, or, more likely, he’d be dead.

Desmond is the only person to survive a magnetic bukake. Except for John Lock. And Mr. Eko. And Charlie. And everyone else on the island.

One would have to be legally retarded not to pick up that the central theme of this episode was Love (and that Cuse is a flaming homo…grow a pair)

Desmond is having visions, and instead of trying to recall those visions, he starts screaming. Even the characters are self aware enough to know that no questions must ever be answered on this show.

The good parts of this episode:
-Desmond smashing Widmore in the face (4 s)
-Sayid fucking shit up (25 s)

Moments of potential redemption:
-If Jin tried to rescue Desmond
-If Sayid killed Zoe
-If the driver shot Desmond at the end of the episode

Only way to redeem the show:
-Have John Woo direct the last episode, and have it based entirely on Sayid kicking asses and snappin necks. Then have Carlton and Damon apologize to the entire male population for this sob feast, and as compensation they have volunteered to be executed live on TV

BOOM

DEAD

Well 11 episodes in and we finally get a plot for altaverse. Yes, that’s right the alties decide “this isn’t right” and are going to try and “fix” it. So let’s gather everybody up and go back (well I guess it isn’t back for the alties) to the island. Who needs to die and who’s shoes do we need? Seriously, we did this already.

The better question is why the hell did it take 11 episodes to get to this point? Half of every episode devoted to the altaverse with lame, boring, tedious stories that went nowhere and accomplished nothing. Had they started the “this isn’t right we need to fix it” plot line in episode 2 it might not of sucked so badly. Blah, who am I kidding. It would of been 9 episodes of “not right now”, “no time for that”, non-sense to fill out show.

The next question I have is: are the two time lines supposed to be happening simutanously. I ask because Charlie met the love of his life, soulmate, BFF on the island after the crash. Which means when he choked on his stash (rather than flushing it like anyone with an IQ over 10 would of done) he never even met Claire in the other time line. Oops.

Its like Chevy Chase in “Vacation.” This is no longer a television series, this is a quest. I don’t care about the lizard people in V or the new Lincoln Continental. I am going to watch this shit until the end then I am going to chop my televison set to pieces with an ax.

Dude, I don’t think you people realize who we’re dealing with. Jin stepped in a mother effin bear trap and what, maybe 2/3 days later, he’s walking normally again? You what that means…

Jin is Wolverine.

HOLY SH7T!

Brotha, when Chucky Widmore says I’m going to explain everything, you don’t tell him to stop!

Why do I have a gut feeling that this is all going to have some cataclysmic event and the last thing we see is some dude at a computer punching numbers in every 108 minutes.

Oh and how the hell does Eloise know what’s going on? Telling Desmond to stop looking for Penny so they can keep their little flash-sideways-lame-ass-excuse-for-a-season-going-because-we-really-didn’t-have-any-material-or-plot-laid-out going just seems really out of place.

This show sucked once they went away from Ben. He was and always will be the best character.

“Pennay!”

“I want to see Pennay.”

“Where is Pennay?”

“I want to talk to Pennay!”

“PENNAY!!!”

“DESMOND!!!”

“Jin” “Sun”
“Jin” “Sun”
“Jin” “Sun”
“Jin” “Sun”

“JAAAAAAACK!!!”

“KAAAAAAATE!!!”

“WAAAAAAALT!!!”

“PENNAY!!!”

Fuck you Lost writers,

fuck you Lost producers

and lastly fuck you Lost fans. Fuck you.

SO, UHHHH, Faraday or Widmore Jr., or whoever the hell you are, you impish, malnourished, little weasel. First, your friend was just fucking with you. My kid is 5 years old, doesn’t know the first thing about quantum mechanics, and he can draw a triangle too. And even if you graduate to drawing octagons, it doesn’t mean that you have magically cracked the secrets of the space-time continuum, it just means you’re a moron.

Secondly, you should be rooting really really hard for the island timeline to be the only one that “counts” because on the island, Charlotte seemed like a pretty good catch. In your LA sideways-timeline, we just got introduced to Charlotte – she is a desperate sleaze who goes out on blind dates with really angry cops, and then fucks them about three and a half minutes into the date. Nice soulmate, loser.

This post is just a quick thank you to all of you who have contributed to this site. This is the first time I’ve ever visited this site, but I feel a bit more justified now for having stopped watching LOST at the end of Season 3. By that time, I could already see the writers painting themselves into a corner from which they wouldn’t likely be able to extricate themselves. Having read quite a few of your general comments here about the deplorable quality of the writing in subsequent seasons and what sounds to me like a set-up for a hugely disappointing series finale, I’m very glad to know that I made the right decision when I chose to stop wasting time on LOST.

I just want it to be all over……. Once the final episode ends it will be like being liberated from an abusive, addictive partner, who consantly beats me around. SWEET SWEET FREEDOM!

I will then be LOST no more!

If i recall correctly, a few episodes ago, charlie said “i was supposed to die” as if he were trying to kill himself (which would make sense considering he swallowed enough heroin to kill 1000 people)

but now he was just “hiding his stash?” (when a toilet is present?!)

i understand you might need retcons from season to season, but really, writers, you can’t be consistent for one whole season? sad.

and i still hate charlie’s nose.

Ah, don’t feel so bad. After all, Flashforward is on tomorrow night!

Another issue I have is that I have always been a huge sci-fi fan. So one would think that I would be very into FF and V. But the problem is that they both SUCK – also. It is a coincidence they are all on ABC? Not to say the other of the Big Three could / would do any better. I’m not a writer but does the public have to have a “formula” from the writers? Does it all have to be the same crappy junk? Didn’t The Sopranos, Six Feet, Dexter (HBO, SHO) break the rules to all be huge successes? I thought that was how LOST was looking (for the most part) – up until this final season. Why now – why fuck it all up at the end? Was there a change in writers? Did an ABC exec’s 10 year old son sharpen his pencil on the final season?

I bet Widmore will have a proposition to Desmond along the lines: “I’ll explain what’s going on but first you must do something for me. If you do this, you will have my blessing with Penny”.

I gotta say, Desmond’s twitchin is really well done! Mad props to the actor.

total classic, “The island isn’t done with you yet”

We can exchange stories later.
What is this, a press conference?
Kwon, no time for sightseeing.

for those of you wanting to pick up the ladies, just a little pointer:

and i speak from personal experience.

i once saw a woman walking in a secluded area late at night on the sidewalk. i was out jogging and i ran past her. she started screaming and she hit me with her purse. once she realized i wasn’t a rapist, she apologized profusely. i didn’t try to pick her up. i was kind of mad at her.

if you see a woman jogging by herself late at night, and you come up to her, she will not be charmed by you. she will start screaming.

How retarded are these Widmoretards? Didn’t the guy hear they sent a guy in there? She says “no”, yet he still does it. And instead of turning it off after she said “no” a second time, he walks away.

Ho can Desmond be the only one who survived a “catastrophic electromagnetic event”, when Locke did too?

Ecko was pretty close too.

Of course, because the “plot” requires it, Desmond walks right in between the two coils of doom.

Ah so,as expected, Desmond can exist in both ‘verses.

I’m surprised we’ve not seen the driver before.

Oh oh! I hope we get to see a flash-across we’ve already seen from a second perspective.
Better yet! A third perspective!

Haha those onlookers in the yacht.

“You’re not finding anybody before we know what’s going on in your brain.”

First: Doctors can’t legally keep you from finding somebody or refusing treatment.

What the fuck information does “Your CAT scan was ‘inconclusive’” even provide`?

hahaha

Charlie:”None of this matters!”

Mrs Widmore is definitely going to tell him something islandy or somethin “you have to do!”.

My mistake. I guess that would’ve been considered too much plot development.

“How do you know what I want?”
“Because I do.”

Who the fuck writes this? Are they 8?

Desmond: “There is one more thing you can do…. can you get me the manifest of the flight I was on blah blah blah….”

Random Nothing Drvier: “Of course I can….”

Really?? Anyone else think that’s just a tad fucked?

you are everybody

Hey Gin, watch while I throw the switch on your good bud, Desmond…
OK Mr. Whitmore, no problem. It for island yes? And it safe now after man just burn up yes?

Good News, Lost Hateres

“Lost” is in its sixth season and on its way out so ABC probably isn’t sweating bullets over its recent performance. They recognize that the show has a niche audience and is a pop culture phenomenon. Think of it as “FlashForward” and “V’s” older sibling who always breaks the rules but never gets in trouble. The ratings for last night’s episode entitled “Happily Ever After” brought in a season low of 9.5 million, which we find hard to believe because it centered on the character Desmond and everyone likes Desmond. Don’t they?

I went back and watched part of the episode on Hulu, and I have to say, I did not think it reeked as bad as the previous episodes. If that is the highest compliment I can give the show, then so be it.

The electromagnets scene was completely laughable and idiotic, simply vintage LOST writing, but I was able to follow part of the story, which let me tell you, is a major accomplishment.

It’s sad how Ratboy Daniel’s half assed explanation and scribblings are making the fanboys jump for joy as it all “makes sense” now. Did I miss a big chunk of the episode where they answered all of those countless mysteries?

This episode was pretty boring so I figure we should just carry over Jelson’s great idea of porn Lost to this thread…

*Kate walking through jungle bumps into Mr Eko*

“Oh Mr Eko I’ve always wanted to… be with a black guy”
“Not now Kate, I seem to have lost my stick”
“Did you check your pants”
*blank stare at each other*

BOOM

LOST

…

Sawyer: “What are you doing out here in the jungle by yourself Claire?”
“I just want to make a bay-bee”
“Well hot damn why didn’t you say so”

*20 minutes later*
Hurley: “Dude aren’t you two related?”

BOOM

AWKWARD

LOST

I love how Jack was dressed in scrubs at the hospital to give his one line to Desmond – maybe an hour after geeting off an 18 hour flight from Australia having lost his father’s body. How did he get over to the hospital so fast???? Now that’s a time-travel trick I’d be interested in knowing more about! Oh year, he was also drinking on the plane. Now, I know Jack is supposedly one sonofabitch who doesn’t mind imbibing a little (spite me another barkeep), but I thought he found Jesus in the alt-timeline or was at least a graduate of AA. I certainly wouldn’t want him operating on me that day. What an a-hole that guy is!

Holy shit.

Well here was another awesome episode from this new spin-off of the famous “Lost” television series, perhaps the best of the bunch. Hopefully this new series won’t start to suck the way the original “Lost” series did, but i’m not holding my breath.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS FUCKING EPISODE!!! AGAIN FUCKING PENNY AND FUCKING DESMOND FALLING IN LOVE!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT? ANOTHER FUCKING BORING EPISODE!!! GOD THEY DID NOT PUT EVEN 10 MINUTES OF THE EPISODE FROM THE ISLAND!! ALL THIS FICCTIONAL PARALLEL WORLD!! RELIGOUS SHIT!! GOD THIS SHOW SUCKS!!! NEXT EPISODE WHAT IS GOING TO BE NEXT FUCKING WRITTERS?
REALLY STOP MAKING TIME TO MAKE EPISODES!!! BECAUSE IS GETTING SO FUCKING BORING THAT IS NOT EVEN FUNNY!!

This episode was awesome. I was going to read everything everyone wrote– because I know someone somewhere must have agreed that this episode was in true LOST fashion, awesome–but after seeing it go on for so long, eh, fuck it.

I mean, come on guys, if you didn’t dig this episode, then really, what was there to like to begin with? One of the biggest mysteries this late into the game is all this flash sideways business, and they give some great details on it! Now you may say, “Fuck the sideways, they’re boring”, well, that’s unfortunate, because that’s obviously important to them, so they’re of course sticking to it.

LOST has mysteries. They rarely reveal them, but instead but add layers (which then add more questions, but good ones) that then paint the original mystery in an entirely new light. That’s what LOST has always done! No different from when we saw trees moving, then we heard cranks and gears, then we saw smoke, then we saw Smocke.

I despised, and I means despised this season up until now. But now, finally, its getting good.

Does anyone know how much those actors make? It is quite a large cast of (semi-) regular actors, and some of them have like five lines of dialogue every two episodes. Are they paid per episode, per appearance, per season or what? I mean, how much does Fahey get for saying “Oh great” and squinting? can’t be less than five figures, right? That’s not a bad job to get.

And speaking about ‘Pulp Fiction’ – Wasn’t Harvey Keitel’s character, ‘The Wolf’, basically Marsellus Wallace’s ‘Fixer’? Quentin, they mock your handiwork, you should sue.
Next episode we’ll see that B-Michael is a preacher with a big Afro, who gives fire-and-brimstone kind of sermons to his congregation.

And what about the children? Why no one asks Ben or Richard about the stolen children? Where are they? I bet they are being kept in a 300 ft. Tower covered with stripper glitter and neon lights that nobody noticed before.

well I googled it, it is “you ALL everybody” and not “you ARE everybody”. now that just doesnt make any fucking sense. High squeaky voice YOU ALL EVERYBODY. No not really, as you all or you are its is still about the same. I am going outside to sing it to my dogs and see if they prefer YOU ALL EVERYBODY or YOU ARE EVERYBODY. Well maybe this could be a serious problem, how many others (ha ha others) out there have been going around singing, in a flaming falsetto, YOU ARE EVERBODY when really hip LOST fans are inwardly laughing and going geez Louise, they dont even know the words to Drive Shafts #1 imaginary hit record.

I’m surprised no one’s mentioned this, but I was stunned by how accurately Desmond predicted the sex of Claire’s baby! He guessed “boy,” and Aaron turned out “boy.” It’s like everyone’s psychic now. Or maybe he time traveled, and that’s how he knew! I have to admit, it was the first time I had to suspend my disbelief with this show.

Normally, I like things to be grounded in science like Lost has been so far, but I kind of like this new twist, I’m truly interested in who else has special powers or time travel abilities. If Desmond’s prediction wasn’t enough to make all you Lost detracters do a complete 180, then I don’t think there’s any pleasing you, which makes all of your opinions 100% invalid. Lost never ceases to deliver!

all of lost can accurately be told in at most 13 episodes
the opening and finale of each season
which is 12 episode
the 13th episode would actually be six 7-minute episodes showing all the relevant moments of each season
Αναξίμανδρος: the first episode of each season introduces a scenario, and the final episode always has some major plot development which leads to the scenario of the next season
Αναξίμανδρος: in between those, theres 20 episodes of filler
Αναξίμανδρος: also, the scenario introductions and plot development can each be told in 7 minutes
so 18 x 7 minutes
3 episodes
it shouldve been a miniseries
each episode having a major plot twist in the middle and ending in a cliffhanger

lostsucks people should collate a list
and perhaps
should also
edit all the material
for a youtube posting
called
‘lost; if it had not sucked’

glad to see that the usual batch of retarded comments that i expected is, indeed, here. continue patting yourselves on the backs for not being funny

I wonder if they are planning to finalize this show with something left hanging so they can do a movie? … Vomits.

i liked the two last episodes of Desmond. The constant and The Variable. But this episode, i dont know. The dialogues were kind of forced. The history too. The Desmond & Penny soup opera love history all over again. Begins to bore me.

Anyway. I apreciate they finally explain a little bit the relationship between the island and the flashside ways. Soo..it was good to see Daniel Faraday..i mean…Widmore..hehhe.

see ya guys!!

The writing is so inconsistent season to season but not getting it right within five episodes? Damn.

Charlie tells Desmond (in a strange scene where he just opens up to some guy he just met) that he was trying to hide his stash. In the airplane ep he said he “had to die” and was trying to kill himself.

Last time I checked the brake was on the driver’s side, so unless Des was driving a toyota it doesn’t make sense for the car to rapidly accelerate when Charlie grabs the wheel.

I also keep wondering how they came up with Desmond being on the same Oceanic Flight because he wasn’t. He was already on the island before the plane crashed.

It’s been dead and done, we get the characters all meet each other in flashbacks. We get Des loves Penny, that storyline should’ve been over with in “the Constant”. Let’s take a ride down nostalgia lane where Charlie writes on his hand, Penny’s running in the same stadium where Jack was etc.

Seven episodes left, they haven’t explained anything and keep stalling with filler. Opening up new questions when they could be solving stuff that happened in season three. This whole show is a ruse and they’re probably laughing at the people lapping it up. I was a huge fan since season three but this show isn’t going anywhere.

The only saving grace is talking about it on a website for this stuff afterwards. After this show’s over it’ll be like leaving a six year abusive relationship.

*Phew*

Yep. You made a few points other people have mentioned above, but this post consolidates everything wrong with this episode. What a farce.

Hey everone, I finally caught up to date on all the episodes! Watched the last one on tivo last night.

Wow, it really sucked.

What’s the Frequency Desmond?
The world is rammed to the rim with ways
of simplifying our everyday activities, but
there are always some folk who want to
do less. There are even machines in hospitals
to help lazy people to breathe.
Where will this madness end?
O_o

~~~~
\T/
~~~~

So Desmond is Widmore’s fixer, they are very friendly and they probably have known each other for years, and Desmond NEVER met Widmore’s kids? or even KNOW their names???
It is possible that the relation between them is more like the one between M and James Bond, i.e. it’s strictly professional and they don’t know much about each other’s personal life, still, it stretches the imagination that Desmond never learned their names or seen pictures or anything.

Besides, most men, knowing that Widmore is rich, would be very interested to know whether he’s got a cute daughter. Hey, cute, nice and rich – not a bad combination.
——-
Some guys here talked about how ridiculous it is for Penny to run alone at night. But besides that, isn’t her father super-rich? she is the perfect kidnapping target, either for ransom or because her father has a knack for making friends wherever he goes. So not only she should have bodyguards when running at night, she needs them in general.

I think they should have made Desmond a psycho, who abducts and kills and mummifies Penny and then has sex with her body every 108 minutes. He also manages to convince Widmore that she ran away to Tajikistan and became a porn star by showing him BJ movies with a woman who looks very similar to her. But Danny boy suspects that something is wrong, and so Desmond kills Danny by drowning him in his own super-sized aquarium. But unbeknownst to Desmond, Danny, before he dies, manages to write on his hand “Not Penny’s throat”.

To be unsatisfactorily continued in 8 months.
BOOM

Well whether you hate the content or not, this episode did do a good job THEMATICALLY of revealing what the FSW-world is in relationship to the characters’ current state on the island (It was kinda cool when they went back to Desmond on the Island then immediately did the FSW congo drums to clearly tell the audience this was not just in Dez’ head which I feared)…

It also appears things they do in real-time island time can effect what they are doing in Desmond’s twilight zone world…I thought the ep started off slow (After it started off fast with the electromagnetic brainfuck where Plimp was ultimately killed checking the magnet room much to my delight ), but I was worried that the TT aspect would be ignored until like the last couple eps, and additionally my season 2 prediction of Desmond being special soley because of his exposure to TT energy at ground zero level (Via the fail-safe) was shown to be true…

All in all pretty good for a mostly off-island episode inwhich even I sometimes get pissed when they do an ep pretty much devoid of Island stuff…

BOOM

BROTHA

What can I tell ya Dr. pLimp? Everyone KNOWS words on the interweb mean 1,000,000% percent EXACTLY what they’re written out to say…[/sargasm]

It was fun while it lasted, though. Anytime Plimp or some other worthy opponent wants come back, please do.

Long time reader, no time poster. I have heavily criticised this site in the past and I wish to apologise. IT has been leaked that the end game of the show is none other than LOVE and that the alt universe is about couples getting it on. Ben and Danielle Rousseau even hook up.

I’m sorry I doubted you guys and have to say you have been spot on all along. I was fooled by those snarky pricks. Never again. Fuck Darlton and Fuck Lost.

Aaaaaaaah….hahaaaaaa…

This forum has become Infected…

~takes bow~

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Oh boy, You fucking guys are hilarious!!! The only thing that this site is infected with is fanbois. You guys make me laugh!!! Keep up the good work…..

I had a Lostmare last night :O

I was in a knife fight with Smocke/Locke/John not John/Smoke not Locke/The Locke Ness Smokester and realized the futility of it, as he couldn’t be killed. I can’t remember how it ended but I think I stabbed him, which caused a setback for him, which I used to escape. Fortunately it wasn’t on THe Island but in a corrdior of a dormitory of some sort.

One more thing: How does Widmore even know that Desmond “survived an electromagnetic event?

Normal people: LOST sucks, I don’t really understand how people can like it, but who gives a shit

Insecure people: LOST sucks, I need to congregate with hundreds of people who will reassure me that my opinion is OK to hold

oh yeah, NITPICK SUM MORE FAGGOTS, you’re doing an excellent job

The idea of all this Love stuff is what the “writers” were talking about regarding it being “character based.” That means sappy ABC style romantic BS they have been doing for years, while at the same time suffering with low ratings, and recently being pummeled by HBO and Showtime in terms of quality. Lost didn’t start that way for me in the beginning – it seemed to be a different kind of show… in the day.

It’s similar to the story I heard about what happened to the writers of the original “Outer Limits” in the sixties. The writers wanted a one hour pure science fiction based show that would best the Twilight Zone, which was the sci-fi/fantasy top dog at the time. They had a budget and the time slot. But, the network “suits” forced them to have a “monster” in every episode, and therefore crumbed it up with silly masks and “scary” scenarios that were never intended in the original concept…

Since I don’t have time to explain, I mean read all the previous comments, I will just say that after finally getting to see this episode last night (was in Vegas last week), I liked it. Yeah, Desmond’s alternate life, blah blah, but at least they started pulling it together with the Hobbit getting Desmond to see things. So the alternate world doesn’t really exist, great, that just validates the fact this whole season was a waste. With 5 or 6 episodes left, they (IMHO) finally moved an inch forward. Let’s see what happens next. Oh, and maybe this was mentioned but not only no Kate, Sawyer, Sun, little Jin and Jack, but no Locke or Hurley. And, if I am not mistaken, no GUN COCKING! That was a first I believe.

CPT(P) Preevyet on duty in Georgia

I swear to God, if the last few episodes are nothing but Jacob this and Jacob that and lost love, I am going to puke…

Lost love? Oh, yeah Lost love…

How about Dogen being seperated from his son and then drown?

Oh, Charlie remembers he used to love Claire, how sweet! Too bad in the “Jacob” timeline, he’s DEAD and she’s a psycho.

Jack gets a son! Hope he’s ready to lose him when he picks “Island World” over “Living your life like a normal human being world.”

Bo hoo! Nadia is married to Sayid’s bro instead of Sayid. Maybe he’ll pick her being dead and him being a murderer.

Locke, dead, Nikki and Paulo, dead, Ana Lucia, dead, Mr.Eko, dead, Michael, dead, Libby, dead, Boone, dead, Shannon, dead, etc etc. etc.

Which one of those idiots would possibily want to go back? Jacob and testing and real love… what a crock of $#!+ if you’re DEAD.

Seems like a lot of 815′ers are better off having never gone to the island. Undoubtable, each of the characters will find some BS excuse why they prefer the Island over what could have been. It’ll be SUPER CHEESE, I am sure.

–

In my dream world ending, Desmond is flashing forward/backward/sideways in his own mind like only he has the ability to do (well, him and George, but when they created George, time displacement was still a “general effect”… then they figured out they couldn’t really explain it as a general effect, so they killed George and decided to make it a “Desmond” power). Desmond sees all, the beginning(s), the now(s), and the end(s) and figures killing everyone on the island with a .308 that a nice scope is the fastest way to get back to his “LA X”, of a great job, a great boss, and a great love interest. His LA X story is three years behind Island time, so that would give him plenty of time to sweep Penny off her feet, get hitched, and make a baby and STILL be ahead of the game cause now Widmore actually likes him.

It’s interesting how emotions can sometime run high on this fine site. I always try to remain clam and cool, even facing this, the biggest farce of network TV.
I’m OK – It’s pent-up frustration from following a ridiculous story for only six years of my life… no big deal. Back to the beach, cock the gun, back to the beach, back to LA, back to the island, get the girl, loose the girl… over and over and over again. It’s like the movie “Ground Hog Day” with Bill Murry. If you recall, he tried to hill himself because of the constant repetition. This will end soon, yes?

.

I forgot to mention Pukster for the inspiration for my last rant.

FUCK PENNY !! FUCK DESMOND !!! FUCK TIME TRAVELLING!!! FUCK PARALLEL UNIVERSES!!!! FUCK PENNY AND DESMOND SOUL MATES FLASH BACK AGAIN!!! FUCK FARADAY AND HIS SCIFI BULL SHIT!!! FUCK LOST FROM THE MIDDLE OF SEASON 4 TO ABOVE!! FUCK EVERY EPISODE SINCE THEN!!! FUCK THEM!!! FUCK SMOKEY BEEN THE DEVIL!! (NOT CERBERUS ANY MORE)!!!! FUCK THE ISLAND BEEN HELL!!! FUCK JACOB BEEN GOD OR JESUS!!! FUCK RICHARD AND HIS FUCKING BLACK ROCK!!! FUCK ANUBIS STATUE!!! FUCK BABIES DYING ON THE ISLAND!!! FUCK THE ISLAND HEALING POWERS!!! FUCK THE LOSTIES VISIONS!!! FUCK THE WHISPERING!!! FUCK DHARMA INICIATIVE!!! FUCK THE OTHERS!! FUCK WILDMORE!!! FUCK LINUS!! FUCK THE RECRUITS!!! FUCK LOCK AND CHRISTIAN!!! FUCK JACK FOR CHANGING HIS PERSONALITY!! FUCK KATE FOR BEEN A WHORE!! FUCK HUGO FOR BEEN SUCH A DUMB ASS!! FUCK SAWYER FOR BEEN A PUSSY!! FUCK SAYID FOR RESSURECTION!! AND FUCK JIN AND SUN FOR BEEN SUCK A PAIN IN THE ASS AND SO FUCKING BORING!!! FUCK THIS SHOW BIATCH!!!

Well said.

From Dark UFO:

Hey All,
This past week’s episode was amazing and as always Henry Ian Cusick did a great job portraying Desmond. Desmond episodes seem to stand above the other episodes and this week was no different.

The writers did a great job once again with Desmond time traveling/flashing through time and worlds and Charlie’s return and underwater scene were fantastic. The fact that ALT Desmond finally has Widmore’s approval but not Penny’s love was an interesting twist but as always Desmond and Penny’s love can not be stopped no matter how much Hawking and Widmore want to keep them apart.

Dark UFO Poll
This Episode:

Awesome 76% (25,301 votes)
Great 14% (4,812 votes)
OK 7% (2,279 votes)
Poor 1% (471 votes)
Awful 1% (393 votes)
Total Votes: 33,256

Hello everyone, I am a recovering lost fan. It has been 5.5 season since I watched my last episode. I am afraid that I am going to fall off the wagon. I just have a strange desire to watch the final few episodes so I can see the train wreck that I predicted so many years ago.

I have been a lurker here for years and vaguely know what has been going on because of what is posted here. I have really enjoyed your conversations and I always get a few chuckles reading through them.

I have noticed that the post counts are getting larger (550+ new record?) so I guess more people are starting to realize that there never was a plan for this show.

So, should I watch the last few episodes or should I try to resist the urge?