Episode 16: What they died for
There’s a light at the end of this tunnel folks! Unfortunately it’s probably an oncoming train.
Written by Tyler on May 18th, 2010 with
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Ben kills Widmore in this episode. So much for the rules.
MATT
YOU ARE A GAY FUCKING MORON
PLEASE ADVISE
CARRY ON
GENERAL. HOW GOES IT?
I’m so stupid from 6 seasons of Lost I didn’t even pick up on this.
If it it is that blatant I donthave to be a doctor toknow when someones sick and i dont have to be a writer to know when a script sucks. Forget about the lost story for a second, the writers are strip mining other stories for content onlost. I thought it was bad enough when they ripped off the heinze dilemma from Psych 101 to tell richards story. It was ok because an attempt to put him morally just but criminally wrong so we can empathise with him is understandable. But you cant plaguraize every episode. The sub-blew-up-and-sun-isstuck-in-the-twisted-metal story is another direct ripoff of robert stack movie when his wife is in a similiar state (if he said acetlyine torch onemore time i swear….) try to be original go out with hhonor you 2. If you didnt do your home workjjdamen your 2.5 hour deal should be the two fo you apologizing to every viewer for this crappy show and then go stand next to the xfiles in shame.
I predict this one will get 1800 replies, since this is the penultimate episode of a steaming pile of dung dressed up as a thinking man’s TV series.
They do gun cock’n’s to the tune of Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture in an attempt to trick some of the Glee audience into watching. Glee does Aerosmith tonight! Hurley eats fried chicken! We’re not worthy!
In a sense, it is appropriate that the 2000’s version of ‘Twin Peaks’ turns out to be about a conflict between “Twin Dicks”.
That is a much better name for the show (and for its 2 writers) – “Twin Dicks”
The difference being than Twin Peaks had a real (crazy, but real) director… and made much more sense than Lost ever did.
I have to confess to reading the spoilers on this one. I just wanted to know if there was anything – anything at all – interesting in this episode. There is nothing. That is all.
Since this is the last episode before the finale I would like to take this time to say one thing. “One thing” thank you…..
Well said.
Like, deep, man.
You guys do get me!!! (trying to wipe the tear out of my eye) I love this place…..
Well done mate!!
W00t! I’m gonna be acting my ass off tonight. Stay Tuned Tools!
Matt, if I can call you Matt….
Matt, who do you think is the coolest person on the cast of Lost and why? (excluding yourself of course).
Thanks.
Besides myself that’s tough, but if I had to choose I’d say Micheal Emerson. He’s awesome! We normally sneak away from our homes located in Kailua and Kaneohe, and go to some underground bars in Kaliuwaa where we meet call girls (You may have read about this online, me cheating on my wife–she thinks it’s all rumors). Mikey (Yeah I call him that and he calls me Matty), he usually does this thing where he bugs his eyeballs all the way out and pretends to be dead on the sofa from an aneurysm. The bitches get so freaked out they leave without getting paid. Once they’re gone we laugh and laugh. Sex for free, that’s what Matty Fox is all about!
hmmmm, you know how to spell Kaneohe and Kailua….
Duh, I’ve lived here for 6 years.
Haha nice one, Batty Matty.
I’m waiting for that scene with Zoe. I’ve been wanting that since the moment she appeared on Hydra Island.
when she gets her throat slit? me too
Now if there has ever been anything “to quick” about this whole show. It was that scene…..
I love how they said that Zoe’s character had her own agenda and that she would play an important role.
LOL I loved it when Locke slit her throat. Where do these assholes get off raising their voice in front of a monster.
I’ll have whatever she’s smoking.
———————————————-
As Lost draws to a close, many fans are thrilled and confounded by the addition of new characters… while others just await answers.
This brings us to Sheila Kelley, the actress who plays Zoe. Introduced last week, Kelley told TV Guide she understands viewers might be frustrated by the sudden appearance of yet another new person on the ABC island, but she says her character is vital to the overall mythology.
“Just when I think she’s evil, she’s not. And just when I think she’s not, she is,” Kelley said. “The whole show right now is so much about the epic mystical story of good versus bad, and it just swings by a thread. She really believes what she is doing is the right thing to do and you’ll understand that more when you see the upcoming episodes.”
A couple more excerpts from the actress’ interview:
On her character’s name: The first thing I did was looked up the name Zoe, and it means “life” in Greek. It’s a very strong mythological name and there’s a lot of mythology on the island. So yes, she does.
On her profession: She is a geophysicist. I think that she’s very brilliant and loves what she does. She is a maverick in her field and believes there are more answers than the status quo is willing to buy into. So she wants to bring the concrete world of physics and geology into much more esoteric happenings, like time travel and the energy of the island. She’s bridging the gap between science and belief. It’s a strong theme throughout the whole show.
What else? This is her first time, but she’s a strategist and very cunning. She prepared very rigorously to come to the island for what she needs to do, and what she needs to do is huge. She’s 20 steps ahead all the time… or she likes to believe she is.
Heheheh the interview is funny.
One this I do like about Lost right now is badass Locke! Love him, and his kill ‘em all attitude
.
This is what I’m talking about. It’s as if she has not seen a single episode of Lost. Zoe adds nothing to the show.
And Dee, I too like Locke, b/c he constantly kills people I don’t like.
“Sheila, can you tell us anything about your upcoming character, Zoe?”
“Yes. I’m in a couple episodes. I don’t really do anything. And then I die.”
FIXED
Same goes for Richard when he was running around saying they were all deadin that Ab Retardo episode.
You got your wish buddy. Not sure what to make of the years of hype and buildup around his character was all about. The secret of his mascara eyes dies with him.
I’m in tears, Ab Retardo. I still don’t understand if they are in hell, or not, or purgatory, or heaven.
Was that an interview with Sarah Palin that was quoted? Every time anyone retarded uses the word “maverick” these days, all I’m reminded of is that one particular retard.
Now that our show is almost over, I’d like to share a couple of things I’m sad we never saw on “LOST”:
Hurley in the mental hospital, post Oceanic 6, watching Gilligan’s Island on TV, complaining to fellow patients about how unrealistic it is…
Ben getting raped by a polar bear.
What are some other missed opportunities? Add to the list!
I would like to see Claire fall into a wood chipper head first.
no way her hair would clog it and it would stop working. feet first is always the way to go anyway so they can see what’s happening to them, plus they don’t die right away
True. Feet first would be pretty satisfying.
Her unkempt bush would also clog it so it would probably only cut off her legs.
Michael making out with Sun
I wanted to see Hurley running in slow motion on the beach with his giant boobs bouncing up and down. Like Bo Derek in Ten.
I wanted to see Claire cut Kate’s head off. Shrink it and put it on the end of a stick. Come to think of it, I would have liked to see her do the same thing to Jackass too!!! Then with a stick in each hand, watch her do a jungle dance all nekid like…..
Jacob getting bitch slapped in the middle of one of his usual down-syndrom-ish looks
I will love to see that
Wtf, I was just getting around to posting in last week’s thread.
This is like the glory (hole) days of WhyLostSucks. And the trolls are all either gone or converted.
Yeah I admit last week’s episode fucked me over…I have no shame over it since I never said there weren’t LOST eps that I didn’t like, but this especially hurt considering the endgame of it all…So yeah, i admit it, but 3 hours left is time enough for some redemption I guess…That’s what I’m hoping for…
Troll me hard now please…
You just admitted the show sucks. That makes me happy.
Is that what I said now? “Light inside of all of us” sucks…But if in 3 hrs that’s what it’s still all about I’ll cut off my nose to spite my face…
I admit naaaaahzing…
“..So yeah, i admit it, but 3 hours left is time enough for some redemption I guess…That’s what I’m hoping for…”
Hoping for some redemption from a show that you now realize totally sucks. That’s not what somebody says after one bad episode. That’s what someone says when they’re finally honest with themselves about the whole show.
Congratulations man. You are entering the acceptance phase. Good for you.
Sighs, I think I liked your silent treatment better…
I never said LOST didn’t have alot of questionable shit, just that you guys were wrong to clump every fan into the same context…But fuck it, I can’t defend “The Light is inside of all of us”…I won’t defend that, I’ll just hope that fucking light is explained in the last 3 hrs….
“Infected” is hoping that Lost will redeem itself, just as Jacob had hoped to his last breath that Ben wouldn’t stab him.
Not really, I just thought the kid jacob-kid smokey ep was so bad in the revelation of what the island light was I had to be honest and admit it was stupid…i can’t defend something that silly in execution…It is what it is…I still think LOST is better than 90% of the other shit out there even when it’s bad…I do realise ME saying this is BIG NEWS…
It’s Ok Infected. You’re making progress. You’re still trying to protect yourself emotionally by acting like a dick but we understand man…we really do. You’re in the right place.
I still don’t think it’s the real Infected.
And what you want is what you get. It is what it is, and what it is about, is you being in total denial dude. You know this suckfest is just as stupid as it gets. Just like the rest of us know it. It’s just you won’t come down off your self righteous pedestal long enough to admit it. And because of that it makes you look like an ass…..
LMAO, Fuck that SMOKIE NOT LOCKE, haha…I won’t let you psycoanalyze me! Not You!!!!!!!
Noooo!!!!!!!!!!
Nico can do it cause he’s a triple threat of coolness (Yes it’s me Meximeercat), but NOT YOU!!!!!!
Well in that case, what’s to psychoanalyze? It’s possible to like something without blindly buying into EVERY aspect of it. I love Episode IV, but the line about “bullseyeing wamp rats” still makes me laugh at how horrid it is every time.
That’s what I said from day one…I’ve admitted every flaw in LOST since DAY ONE, I just ragged you guys for dissing the kids who watch this shit for fun…But fuck it, I criticize the shit outta 1 episode and even Plimp’s talking to my ass now, so I guess I’ve admitted defeat by default at this point…
Fuck it, 1 mega up left, let’s do dis thing…
Infected your ass is owned!!! By a fucking hillbilly at that. Whassamatta u did I touch a tender spot or what…..
HAHAHAHAHAHA owned by a hillbilly HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
I once knew a guy who was owned by hillbilly. Then he got sold to a rube and I never saw him again.
I can’t get mad at you dude, take your victory^^…I’d like to think in a B-verse scenario I wouldn’t mind placing some meals-on-wheels in-front of your nursing home door…
You beat Infected, awwwww PePaw’s drooling…
I don’t know what the problem is anymore at this point. If you (Infected) are the worst “troll” we have running around at this point, we should thank our lucky stars. Every website like this needs some adversarial viewpoints if it is to maintain any kind of relevance. Preaching to the converted gets pretty fucking boring after a while.
Hate and Love are a fine line Nico…I’m not quite ready to traverse the line, nor am I sure where I lie in relationship to you guys…It would be very gay of me to just start kissing your assess now, so I have 2hrs of LOST left to make an informed decision…
Fair enough, but if you think the ending is the greatest thing since sliced white bread; I promise I’ll still respect you in the morning. I’ll just respect you slightly less…
Fuck salt.
Blow pepper.
Come on Infected, for shits sakes alive dude. You can’t just let me win. You rolling over like a whipped pup aint no victory for me. I once had to fight three men at one time and loved every minute of it. I’m not out to win the war but to fight the battle. I can’t do that unless your willing. I’m not looking for hate just a good knock down drag out…..
Infected is one of us
*Lift infected over our shoulders*
All Hail the Infected
*rolls eyes*
Oh brother…
Oh brotha…
Six men came to kill me one time.
The best of’em carried this.
Troll me hard now please…
Bend over please ^^…
U r the fucking LIGHT fake Infected…Bravo on the great comedic timing here…
One rule: Absolutely NO SPOILERS allowed from now on. Thanks.
I think you’re Steven Hawkings…
Don’t tell me what I CAN’T do!
What? You think you are Darlton who can set retarded rules?
We didn’t have time to follow the rules.
you forgot to make your name be a link. imposter.
He didn’t forget, he ran out of time!
Now THAT’S rich! Like Tyler would EVER say something like that.
“Yeah, I’ve sat through flame wars, people bandying about words like ‘Mexicunt’ and every other conceivable type of shenanigans- BUT NO MORE SPOILERS!” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Look, whoever wrote this just come forward so we can have a good laugh now.
i can think of only one time tyler censored anyone
Me too! It was somebody impersonating him. Funny, do you remember that fucking clown LostnLost? What a pain in the ass…..
Actually it was Big Jim, who said some over the top crass shit, which was awesome.
I missed that unfortunately. It must have been during my lengthy boycott of the show.
yeah we all wondered where the hell you went
I just had to stop the madness for a while. You should have been here while I was playing catch up with my fiancee’s DVDs though. Imagine if you will, the horror of sitting through nearly 2 seasons of Lost (most of 4 & all of 5) in one marathon weekend. By Sunday night I was engulfed in a pile of empty beer cans and beef jerky packages; my eyeballs trying their best to pop from my skull. I must have lost 20 or 30 IQ points from such a highly concentrated dose of stupid.
WOW dude, if you sat through seasons 4 & 5 in one weekend, well first off, you either had a heafty 8 ball of some good crank, or your one of the toughest people I have ever known in my whole life!!! Thats a weekend of suck deluxe. How in the hell did you keep your eyeballs in their sockets for Christ’s sakes?!?!?! You had to of looked worse then Micheal Emerson on a hard hangover…..
One thing I’m going to miss once LOST is done – You guys
).
You know what Dee? You have put up with the ranting and raving and blithering bullshit of this site for longer then I can remember. The one thing about a site like this, It’s not Tyler who makes the site. He just puts it up here. Hell he don’t even pop in once in awhile to post a dumbass reply anymore. It is us that make this site. Whether the site is good or bad doesn’t matter. What matters the most is that we enjoy comming here. If we didn’t we wouldn’t. Now you haven’t been like some of us long winded dipshits that you wonder if there ever gonna shut the hell up. (like me) Your comments are usually short sweet and to the point, but most of all, just as important to the site as a whole, as anybody elses. You are part of the living soul that makes this site the best LO$T site on the internet. I can only speak for myself, but I have enjoyed your company and appreciate all you have done for making this such a great place to hang out. I too will miss you as well…..
Never ask me that again…..
The rules don’t apply to me.
Did you guys just see me patching up Kate again? Cougar Moms are dripping apple-jelly over me right now! I’m a good actor, you guys just can’t deal. I can bring it to that level. I was fucking Racer X!!!!!!
I don’t doubt that you may be a good actor but you can’t prove it by Lost since the show sucks and the writing is so bad. You can’t make caviar out of fish eggs.
This is fucking Hollywood man, I don’t send studio’s full seasons, I send them clips. Good acting clips inwhich i have a full portfolio.
Oh, I’m also feeling like you’re shiting on me a bit considering I answered your earlier question about “coolest person” and you gave me no response. You do known I’m Matthew Fox?
Well I kinda thought that was the end of the conversation. I thought your response was brilliant BTW.
About the show, I’m just sayin they didn’t give you much to work with. That’s all.
But you’re wrong, who in the history of network TV has ever played a “Psychopathic Good Guy”? Think about that, let that settle in. And I’m not talking Edward Woodward in “The Equalizer” level psycho, I’m talking actual emotional depth here. Wanting to help people to the point I become a schizophrenic mess of a man. You can buy a role like this.
“You CAN’T buy a role like this…”, begging your pardon.
Dude you suck, get over yourself already…..
How is Jack a psychopathic good guy? A psychopath is one who has no empathy.
Ya certainly got the ego like Matty Boy…could it be????
Nah.
I think the phrase to describe him (as said by Sawyer) is “God complex”
.
HA!!! I think you clobbered the ole MIB in the head with a rock with that remark…..
YOu mean Batty Boy.
Well Matty, I don’t know about the “coolest”, but Evangeline Lilly said she was the real STAR of Lost…and you were just hanging on to her coattails for the ride up.
I dunno, she might have a point there huh?
This is not the real Matt Fox. He was on JK afterward and said he doesn’t watch his own shows.
Oooooh! Caught ya!
How sweet the smell of catching a troll in his own shit…..
Like I can’t just hop on the net when I want and post stuff on my hate sites. Like I always tell the truth LOL.
I’m Matt Fox, I do what I want.
Go back to party of five, kid
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!
This show is fucking funny!!
I’m a half-hour in, and I’ve never laughed so hard at a lost episode.
After nearly 3 seasons, I’m officially at the last stage of grief: ACCEPTANCE.
I can now appreciate this show as a comedy.
It is a comedy, a parody of a great show that once existed in season one and two. RIP the old Lost
That show could have been great, it could have been a contender, have class, instead it became a nothing, a joke, a parody, raw material for blogging idiots like myself who like to laugh aloud to the stupidity and clever comments of such comments
The episode was amazing, what are you talking about. Things blow up (I think), people die (Kick Ass!!), rules are broken (Rules are meant to be broken?!?!) and…uh…Richard just dies, like after 6 seasons he gets one episode, then just dies.
Did he die though? That is the question…..
That was one helluva Falcon Punch. I’ll laugh if they bring him back. Unless it’s something cool, like the impact knocked him into a pocket of negatively charged exotic matter which gives him strange powers like a fire monster, and he dukes it out with smokie. Alternatively, he is reunited with his wife and they have a 7 minute hug followed by a 12 minute cry scene.
Well they said the end was very LO$Tish. If that aint LO$Tish I don’t know what is…..
They might never show him again. The folks over at the fuselage are near unanimous in calling that scene the funniest ever.
Preceded by 7 minutes of staring.
Of course not, Jacob let him live forever so, I guess he has some super healing powers or something for this cases.
My God, this is so good already! I can’t believe they are giving so much of the mysteries away. Got to go, starting.
not me
So they’re telling us what “they” died for tonight? Does “they” mean AnaLucia, Boone, Shannon, Jin, Sun, Libby, Locke, Mr. Eko, Juliet, Sayid, Lapidus, Michael, Daniel Faraday, Charlotte, Locke, Charlie, Ilana, Arzt, Alex, Mikhail (yeah, like he can even die), Alex’s boyfriend, Tom the Gay Other, Ryan the guy Hurley ran over with the van, Naomi, Rousseau and everyone else who got introduced and slaughtered for the sake of plot convenience on this uplifting show about hope?
don’t forget ms klugh
Bitch looked like a lizard. I’m glad she’s dead.
I can’t believe you forgot ETHAN!!! Then again who really cares…..
I can’t believe YOU forgot Scott and Steve!
LOL @ The Gay Other
Don’t forget the entire Dharma Initiative including Horace, man.
Yup they all had “faults” just like Jacob. Hmm wonder why he left out millions of faulty people? I’m sure all of the crazy nuts in this world have the same ‘faults”. Sheeeeeeeeeeeesh..
Holy “smokie,” my pussy is throbbing this is so good!
also not me
This is the real Matt!
I can’t believe all of the “reveals” in this amazing episode. Just what we were waiting for!
you could at least try to sound believable
I can’t tell which one to shoot. They sound so similar…
Matt, are you sure you don’t want credit for that? It was pretty damn funny.
Looky here Notmatt, I aint going nowhere near your pussy. So just leave me the hell out of it…..
What is the diff between the aired version and the spoiled version posted here?
LS
TO ANSWER YOUR INTELLIGENT QUESTION
THE AIRED VERSION IS ON TV
THE SPOILED VERSION IS IN PRINT
YOUR WELCOME
CARRY ON
You’re not Your
Yeah, thats the name of our next episode. So stay tuned for that one eh…..
The spoiled one’s funnier.
First thing: The spoiler you read in last week’s thread is a scene-by-scene exact replica of what is on the show. It’s 100% dead on balls accurate.
Second thing: So Jacob says he brought them to the island because they need to protect it from MIB. But at the end of season 3 the Oceanic 6 left the island. So…did Jacob let them leave? If so, why? Didn’t he bring them there to protect the island?
This show is just so horrendously bad. You’d think the writers would remember what their major plots have been in this series. There’s only like two things to remember.
Lost sucks, and this Sunday it’ll all be over.
Great! As the spoiled version is authentic, I dont need to watch the aired version!
So Jacob says he brought them to the island because they need to protect it from MIB.
I don’t get it!!! If this be the case, then why not let him leave? Makes no sense!!! LO$T though never has made much sense…..
we have still no idea why smokie getting his biggest wish since even before his smokeyfication fulfilled and leaving the island will destroy the world!!!!! Smokey is just mad at fuckhead jASScob and that’s it. Atleast originally. And if smokey became psychopathic and developed a hatred towards the entire world then just because his brother kept him prison on the island for centuries (Since their crazy murder-mother was a smokey herself AND was the protective condom for the isle’s hole, being a smokemonster can’t be the quality that makes you automatically wanting to harm the light) although he should try to put as much distance between smokey and the gloryhole since he has to protect the light from smokey although smokey never wanted to harm the light in anyway as he always wanted to just use the light to get off the island, which is absolutely not harmful to the light as the island has been moved atleast once before without damage to the gloryhole. It sucks so much that it literally hurts!!!!
The irony is that if Smokie left the island he’d probably just evaporate or implode
lets trace MIB’s motives. First he wants to leave the island, more than anything, b/c he believes he doesn’t belong there. Then he wants to kill Jacob, more than anything, b/c he wants to leave the island. And now he wants to destroy the island, more than anything, because he wants to leave the island.
And how stupid could Flocke be? Does he honestly think Widmore would tell him the truth?
LOL “This show is just so horrendously bad. You’d think the writers would remember what their major plots have been in this series. There’s only like two things to remember.”
The show is actually good if you only consider one scene at a time, and ignore that the episodes are meant to seamlessly blend into one another. Because each scene has suspense (gun cocking), followed by adventure (jungle treking), followed by drama (Jack crying), and finally mysteries (OK ‘magic’)
Man, I’m bringing it so hard tonight, Jesus Christ! I’m just bringing it. Fuck you guys if you don’t think I acted my ass off just now. Me and my scrappy beard are taking you there!
Dude we get it! You’re doing the best you can with the story they give you. I admire you for that really. But the show man, you gotta admit….
Fuck that, any show with me as lead (and YES I am the lead character, not just apart of some ensemble bullshit) can’t be that bad. I changed the game as Uncle Charlie in “Party of 5″, brought grown men to their knees in “We are Marshall”, stole the movie as the Spanish speaking villain of “Vantage Point” and I was the legendary geek fantasy called Racer fucking X!!! I was RACER X man!!! I take too much flak man and that’s the truth!
Hey OK man. I’m trying to be on your side here but you’re not making it easy. Do you talk to your agent like that?
LOL! probably does! I mean really!
Oh brother!!! Stick a dork in it…..
Ah yes, I knew not to watch Vantage Point because it had you in the trailer. Also, because it reeked of US-nationalism.
Can’t believe you sold yourself so short! How could you forget your EPIC roll in smoking aces as “Casino worker stabbed to death by guy who played Richard”? That was-
-well it was shit, actually.
I’M MATT FOX, BITCH!
“I’M CAPTAIN KIRK!!!!!”
Lost: 120 hours to tell the story of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Hurley as Augustus Gloop?
I always though of Lost as really, really long Scooby Doo episode, but maybe I need to lay off the booze.
Finally, the answer to the question you’ve all been asking—Jack’s son’s name.
Is that your son?
Yes, that’s… Thanksgiving Dinner.
Oh man, thats beautiful…..
I don’t get it.
He’s listed as David on IMDB.
Have they now started avoided saying his name?
Did they forget they already mentioned it?
Just when we thought Lost couldn’t get any more annoying, they introduced Jack Jr.
That lame-o fuck retard?
No not kate. The little kid
HA!!!!!
and Jack’s son isn’t to swift either… HAHA.
It’s probably Carlton and Damon’s gay son (I mean the parents are gay raising the son, not that the son is gay…although I’m sure the sun is gay as well).
Goddammit Pukster you fucken keep me in stitches dude…..
LOOL I only half-picked up on that
I’m almost speechless… how did this show become so lame? This is much worse that I imagined.
Protect the light? Oh OK, I’ll dedicate the rest of my life to do that. Ah, by the way, WHAT IS THE LIGHT??? Oh fuck.
These are the retarded answers of the writers. These type of Q&A keeps going on…..
Thats why they simply say, your question will only lead to more questions…..boom…..lost
Take a couple of real deep breaths Ace. Keep repeating over and over to youself, “it will all be over soon.” If that don’t work then get a plastic bag and stick it over your head and tie it off at your neck and lay down. That one works every time…..
Why don’t you whisper an “answer” in my ear, so we can fuck with the audience more.
It will take at least six years just to clear all this shit up!
“The secrets of Lost” will be airing until 2049.
What you speak is only the truth…..
Haha remember in Family Guy when Peter wanted Cleveland to calm down so he put a plastic bag over his head until he passed out.
How hard is it to find candidates?
-Do you want to live forever?
-Do you want to be a god?
-Like people worshiping you?
then we have the job for you.
They were chosen as candidates because they are just lonely… Now how many lonely people on Earth are there?
Yes Puk, they are all sitting around going, “I don’t want to be a God, not me Mofo, what are you crazy?”
I rather:
Go to jail (2)
Father a retarded kid
Be a gay cop (2)
Be a gay teacher (2)
Be a whore (10+)
Exactly, the whole premise is bizarre. I don’t want to live forever, I want to DIE. But not before I go to jail for murder.
Also, how the fuck were Jin and Sun lonely? or Michael and Walt, or the unnamed kids?
Also, in the youtube videos there was a guy who was engaged to a stewardess or something, so how was she lonely, Bernard and Rose?
LMAO!
I’ll take it! So… do I need to bring in a copy of my drivers license and my social security card?
Yes, and your first born child, that is if you don’t have one already. If you do it must be under two years of age. Any older than that the harder they are to sell…..
“Remember when you landed in the bamboo field when you first got here?”
“First got here the first time, or first got here the second time, or first got here the second time after coming back in time?”
“Uh…never mind.”
God-DAMN that was a horrible episode.
-You’re telling me the whole point of this show, the whole point of all those people dying and a plane full of people crashing were to protect a LIGHT at the center of the island? Holy fucking shit that’s the dumbest thing I have ever seen on television.
-If that wasn’t bad enough, after six seasons of this show you’re telling me no one, not at night time, saw this gigantic glowing thing beaming out everywhere? Did they just make this up three episodes ago…wait on that…
-I like how they’re still wasting time with flash-sideways that do nothing but chew up time and how three times in this episode when a character was about to explain something it either cut to commercial or they were interrupted.
-Talk about inconsistencies, there’s already a plot gap between this and the last episode! Jacob tells the lot of them that they can choose who stays as “I didn’t have a choice.” Really? I distinctly remember your brother asking you to come with him, I remember you having a voice so that you could tell your fake mother you didn’t want to protect the island?
-”My brother and I kept trying to kill each other.” It really looked that way in the beach scene at the end of season five.
-Also last episode his mother told him he could never leave the island. Well then how the fuck did he get the people there? They spent an entire episode showing him getting each castaway there.
-”You can’t kill your brother.” Well I’ll be damned, did he not just smash his head off a rock and kick him into the Disney cave? In one episode they fucked up thrice.
-The survivor’s can all see Jacob, so I guess dead people just come back now and can interact with living people. WTF. Then he says a prayer over pond water and Jack becomes immortal. Just reading that aloud makes me feel retarded for ever liking this show.
How can people defend this?
-A donkey wheel that when turned makes an island disappear.
-Dead people that constantly show up and can interact with living people.
-A shining bright light at the center of the island straight out of a Disney flick.
-A flying smoke monster.
-Whispers that are actually dead people.
-People who live for centuries and never age and can’t die.
Fucking retarded.
None of that is as fucking retarded as Jacob’s little, mumbling, “body of Christ” prayer over the water.
Ya, they invented an ultra-lame religious ceremony at the shiney light hole.
my friend said “shouldn’t they boil that water first?”
I’d just like to point out that the irony is that where Jack fell was only a stones throw away from the glowing poonany of life. It’s like Darlton took a gun, cocked it, and aimed it at their foot.
Also, when jacob said ”My brother and I kept trying to kill each other.” He conveniently left out the part where he kicked his brother’s ass twice, then brutually murdered him after he rightly killed the woman that kidnapped them at birth.
It was convenient that they were right near the big bright ass hole tunnel of light and life – no jungle trek necessary. I guess they could have gone back to the beach first, and then back to the jungle to find it. Good for them, and us…
Good analysis.
-People who live for centuries and never age and can’t die.
Until suddenly the writers decide otherwise.
Also, wtf was the deal with Jacob being able to interact with the living until the fire went out? Could he not have done this at the start of the season?
They weren’t ready…duh.
I just realized that Hurley has great hair. I noticed earlier that Tyler said “No Spoilers from this point forward.” Unfortunately there will be wank in LA or somewhere who will get access to the Finale and give us a play by play of it here no matter what Tyler said. So I must bid you adieu until it is officialy over. I have not sunk five years into this nonsense to read the ending on a message board. Ta Ta…..
that wasn’t the real tyler anyway. tyler’s name is always blue.
I thought Tyler’s name was always Tyler. When did he change it to Blue? I think he ought to change it back to Tyler…..
nyuk nyuk nyuk
Come on Ned, Seriously thats not a good way to be…..
It wasn’t the real Tyler, as the real one always has a link in his name.
As if Tyler would say something like that in the first place. Thats some funny shit there…..
this show is so stupid.
at least that’s what I thought in the beginning –
now I think it just keeps getting better and better. i can’t believe all of the amazing answers they are giving us so far – with more to come on Sunday!
Still can’t find a priest eh? You act like your not even trying to find one. Now get your ass out there and pound that pavement till you find one dammit…..
Anyone besides Jack would have at least been kind of unexpected. A small plot twist.
Anyone besides Jack.
God.
Ya, I was SO surprised when it was him… holy shit.
Protect the light or bad things will happen – LOL
I was especially surprised when he volunteered. Just. WOW. Didn’t see that coming.
I dozed off a minute during that whole retarded campfire girls scene; thank God I didn’t miss anything, you know, important. So Jack’s the chosen one? Great. Only 2+ hours to go…
You feel asleep? OMG, you missed so many “reveals.”
Who is this asleep, and how did she feel? It’s just in my nature to be an ass…..
We learned who was chosen by Kate!
Jacob: “… thats the heart of the island. Thats where the light is. Thats where he is trying to go.”
WTF? I thought he was trying to leave the island.
And for what its worth, island protector involves the craziest job interview I’ve ever seen.
LOL, imagine if that was a real life interview
Jacob: Mr. Pukster, I hear you are interested in our HR position
Pukster: That is correct Mr. Jacob. What are the hours like?
Jacob: You work for as long as you can.
Pukster: Um. can you be more specific?
Jacob: When this fireplace goes out, I will disappear for ever.
Pukster: …
Jacob: Now come. Drink from this make shift chalice
Pukster: *looks around the room uncomfortably*
Jacob: *Begins praying into cup* uhmana ohamana uhmana oomana
Pukster: *gets up and leaves*
no man, you have to bring your own cup!
Ya, HA HA
Didn’t he come out from the light? Now he wants to go back into it?
BTW now that Jack is the new Jacob, doesn’t SLocke have to waste another hundred years creating a huge conspiracy to get him killed?
Just don’t get it, mybe the fans are right, I just don’t have it in me to understand LOST
.
I don’t get it, the mom made it so he could never hurt Jacob. She said nothing about hurting the candidates.
That doesn’t matter right now.
Jack is the new Jacob.
Black is the new orange.
LOST is the new X-Files.
Darlton are the new Berman and Braga. For. Sure.
Which Star trek seasons and shows did Berman and Braga fuck up?
ENTERPRISE. It became notorious for them to say “we’re very pleased” rain or shine, no matter the dire state of ratings, fan unhappiness etc.
Some say it began in the halcyon days of Voyager. But by Enterprise… Ooh yeah. Smoked.
All that money and power Widmore had. And his SOLE PURPOSE was to do something he could have done so many times, but never mentioned or alluded to before…
Bring Desmond back.
Um, so I guess the ENTIRE mission he had his Mercs do on the freighter had no purpose at all.
Wow…
Do these guys even remember what they wrote?
you are right. I think they should at least answer the key mysteries of each season such as:
season 1: why whisper occurs before appearance of the others?
season 2: whats the point for the Bleech plane?
season 3: the pregnancy issues and whats the purpose of the others?
season 4: what is the real conflict between Widmore and Ben?
season 5: how DI comes and gone?
season 6: what the fuck is the island?
And the “answers” they do give us clash or completely contradict with everything they have shown before.
Thanks guys. Thanks a lot…
When I watch JJ’s Alias, I remembered that the key questions of each season are answered during the season finale. Only the main mysteries of the story carry forward. Still, the main mysteries were progressing season by season.
JJ likes to use flash back at the beginning of an episode. However, it will be reconcilled by the end of the episode.
Also, when JJ introduces time travel in the latest Startrek movie, It is easier for him to manage the contradiction in time travel due to the short length of the movie.
The problems of the Lost are that:
They just create questions without closing.
The writers are too lazy to think of a “logical” answer for the mysteries. Instead, they just provided shit answer like whispers = ghost.
They overdone with the “flash” things by extending the flash back/forward/sideway across episodes and even across seasons. Causing plot hole and inconsistency in the story.
The time travel thing like the “flash” things extended for too long and causing too many plot holes!
Whidmore said he was convinced to give up his former ways……………………. WHAT ARE HIS FORMER WAYS, GOD DAMMIT!!!! What was his goal before jacob was magically visiting him off island? What was the conflict with Ben? Why couldn’t they kill each other but today they could? You ve screwed up having an idea what the conflict was about you were constantly telling us about for 2 years? No problem! Just change the conflict parties’ agendas and go on with a conflict reloaded that atleast hypothetically could fit into the loads of newly created bullshit, that is absolutely unlinked to everything that came before! Solved!!!!
What was the purpose of “Torching the island”? And when Jacob taught Widmore the error of his ways, what ways? Torching the island? Fuck, they just opened up a whole nother can of beans (worms?) Why didn’t Jacob just visit Widmore when he brought the freighter and convince him to NOT SLAUGHTER untold numbers of others and red shirts.
Widmore wasn’t on the freighter.
Still, this season pretty much renders the past five moot.
I meant, why didn’t Jacob say “Holy shit, Widmore is going to torch the island! I better get off my fat ass and go to LA and visit him to teach him the err of hi– Oh wait, The Gilmore Girls are on…”
Jeez, only 20 minutes post episode and already 56 comments. Can’t wait to watch this episode.
CPT(P) Preevyet studying (again)
There’s a classic gun-cocking moment you don’t want to miss. When the good guys are in Ben’s closet (I think) they hear something outside and all cock their guns to go investigate. Then, when they have to turn just a little bit to actually see Widmore and Tina Fey, all their guns automatically cock again. I actually laughed out loud.
Darlton sitting at a table brainstorming…
“Whoops, we killed off everyone that could give direction to the show! Painted ourselves into a corner! What do we do now?”
“Dude, lets just like.. bring Jacob back. Everyone can see and interact with him despite him being dead. It’s the power of the island. The fans have our back.”
“Aw sweet! Why didn’t I think of that? You’re a genius.”
Darlton:
“We are going to need to write in more Others for the next episode. And perhaps more gun auto-cocking, that gets em every time…”
“I know this sounds stupid, but how about making the entire six years revolve around a mysterious light in the middle of the island? And we won’t even tell them what it is…”
“Hey, lets make Ben go all schizo again too. It’ll be a hoot.”
“Yeah, but didn’t we spend a whole season showing his daughter’s death had changed him somehow? You know, made him more human?”
“Yeah, but nobody remembers last season. Plus it’ll be a HOOT.”
Actually it was just a few episodes ago. These guys have absolutely no respect for the audience.
“oh and make sure you mention the rules 20 or 30 times, just make sure, FOR GOD SAKES MAKE SURE, you don’t fucking explain them!”
“how would we explain them when we don’t really know what they are?”
“yeah true dat sorry i lost my cool, let’s finish the rest of this blow and write the finale.”
Lost could potentially be the most cocaine influenced piece of popular entertainment since Fleetwood Mac’s “Tusk”. When you consider the TOTAL lack of coherence it kind of makes sense.
Good point about cocaine, it’s just like this show. Lots of hype for nothing. Makes your face hurt, your eyes water, and leaves you feeling a little numb with an upset stomach. After you are done, you wonder why you did it because you just don’t get much out of it, WOW, it’s exactly like this show…..
Ben’s reversion back to “evil” was as ham-fisted as anything they’ve done this season. Miles starts running around in circles like a dog circling his bed before going to sleep. “I go nuts around dead people.” Of course, Richard just happens to know what’s up. Oh, I buried your dead kid here.
BEN SNAPS.
And, damn good thing Smokey decided that the first thing he’d do when he got off the island was kill Widmore’s daughter. Remember how Ben was going to do that, but failed when Desmond beat him up? GEE, WHAT A PERFECT OPPORTUNITY FOR BEN TO GET HIS REVENGE ON WIDMORE, AND WHAT A COINCIDENCE, BEN WAS JUST REMINDED OF HIS OWN DAUGHTER’S DEATH BY MILES AND RICHARD JUST FIVE MINUTES AGO!
Lindelof:Lets kill off Richard in the most anti climactic way possible.
Cuse: I’m too baked man, lets just get the smoke monster to do it.
Lindelof: Are you sure we can fit it in to this episode. We still have 12 more shots of Desmond’s nervous smirk to do.
Cuse: Lets just devote maybe 10 seconds in a completely unrelated scene
Lindelof: How do we lead up to it
Cuse: Just have him say som fagotty line like “let me talk to him”
so awesome
hurley said “thank god its not me” when he saw jack going with jacob…
now we know its going to be hurley. thats so predictable.
only god thing about that is there’s a good chance jack dies then
Previously on Lost:
“I won’t say anything with HIM in the room.”
“Fine, whisper it to me.”
A woman who escaped FEDERAL CUSTODY from a US Marshall is still being held in a LOCAL police station and then being transferred to county?
An LAPD officer is willing to release three convicts on the way to county lockup for just 125,000? Starting salary for LAPD is 80k. So basically she commits a felony for 18 months pay. Rrrrrrright.
Thank you.
“What We Watched For” Absolutely nothing apparently.
I wasn’t even really sure what to say about this episode as it was basically just a lead in for Sunday night’s ultimate wank-fest. How many times do you think they put in some character saying a variation of the line: “it’s almost over” tonight? I caught at least three, I probably missed a few.
It was SO sweet of Jacob to finally have a cozy sit down with the recruits after so long. Of course, he didn’t really explain anything now did he? If the fact they (like him) were fuck ups is what motivated Jacob to choose those people; then basically ANYBODY could have been a candidate. So at some point choosing those specific people was TOTALLY RANDOM. Wow… deep. I also like Jacob stealing Lestat’s line about “giving them a choice”. Now the writers are ripping off Anne Rice. How much lower can you go?
The horrid gurgling demise of Liz Lemon was to say the least, excellent.
The unceremonious death of Widmore at the hands of Ben was the definition of anti-climax. Not to mention the fact, I didn’t quite get why Ben went all psycho again. The writers of Lost just love having their characters do shit that is completely “out of character”. Didn’t they spend lots of time (and some good acting) showing how Ben had kind of changed since his daughter’s death? Eh, fuck it- let’s make him go psycho again just because.
The b-universe stuff continues to be pure filler of the worst variety. How wonderful we go to see that Anna Lucia is still a shitty cop. I don’t think I could have put the series to rest without that sixty second cameo.
Well, only a few days until the “TV event of the decade”. Is everybody else as excited as me?
BOOM!
Abject failure.
Ummm duh seeing his daughters grave brought out the old ben. Sometimes I think you don’t even try to pay attention
Lizs death was the highlight for me
Oh, I guess he had completely forgotten she had existed until that moment. That makes perfect sense… if you’re schizophrenic.
Hey, clearly it was smokeys great offer that made ben switch sides again:
“if you help me you can have the island for yourself”
…TO DO WHAT? What the hell can somebody do with this island? Nothing is the answer.
We learned in a very painful process that there is virtually nothing of any practical use for a human being on this island! Everything the island is capable of happens completely randomly and uncontrollably. And even the most marvellous vagina of the island can only be used to read in the dark (if you find it at all)! Not to mention the fact that the island isn’t even worth anything as construction ground considering that future residents could only reach it by sub on special barings, at changing coordinates. TOTAL FAILURE!!!
Also Locke said to Ben’s face at the end of the episode that he plans to destroy the island.
Ben’s half of the deal was that he gets to inherit the island.
Consistency fail.
“If the fact they (like him) were fuck ups is what motivated Jacob to choose those people; then basically ANYBODY could have been a candidate. So at some point choosing those specific people was TOTALLY RANDOM.”
It’s terrifyingly stupid, yeah!!
And in addition: The last six years were not even meant as a kind of testing phase to determine which candidate is the most worthy of the task! It’s just: Well, I simply had no desire to have the conversation we had tonight somewhat earlier, although we easily could have, therefor six years! Fart into the fire to make it burn longer! Or wait: Youve got several candidates around you. send them to collect firewood!!
Jacob is acting like the most retarded person ever to walk this earth!
You see:
Jacob needs the candidates to replace him incase of MIB succeding to kill him, which MIB can only manage to do because jacob brings people as candidates on the island who can be used by MIB as assassins but who are only effective when jacob let himself willingly get killed, as soon as there is no need for him to live any longer since he’s got fresh candidates at hand.
He’s like trying to extinguish the fire while constantly holding a lighter on the bone-dry christmas tree and using gasoline instead of water.
The most simple solution: DON’T BRING ANYMORE PEOPLE/CANDIDATES TO THE ISLAND! You can’t be killed therefor you can prevent smokey from leaving till the end of time.
Why didn’t they just gather some more fire wood? And what the hell was with the ashes?
“The horrid gurgling demise of Liz Lemon was to say the least, excellent.”
-I was at work and I actually jumped with excitement and yelled “YAAAAH”
I think I am the anti-faboi. I don’t care about Sun/Jin being reunited, I like when Zoe got her throat slit, or when Illana blew up, or Ana Lucia got shot or when Alex got executed. Let me think of one guy that got killed so I don’t come across as sexist…Come to think of it, the guys don’t generally die in such a greusome fashion. Strange
“Come to think of it, the guys don’t generally die in such a gruesome fashion”
That’s probably because Darlton is jealousy of their glowing holes of life. Come to think of it, maybe the Shinny hole is the one he wished he had between his legs… interesting psychological perspective on a gay writer…
jealous…
I was going through a pile of magazines I was about to throw out during Lost tonight. I had to feel like the time wasn’t completely wasted. I was right to do it.
I was clipping my toe-nails and trying to shoot them into an empty PBR can. Ha, BEAT THAT!
I was running simulations while watching Lost
I fed the cat twice and fell asleep once. I really need to take a nap on Sunday so I don’t miss any of the game-changing moments which are obviously in store.
You missed some incredible “reveals…”
I was ja- cooking dinner. No really I was…..
So the numbers, a central feature of the series, essentially meant nothing. Kate was not associated with any of the numbers, yet she could have become the next protector of the island had she wanted the job.
Ben killed Widmore now, but he couldn’t do it that one night in Widmore’s house due to some rules. Funny how things change.
Exactly why did Jacob have to wait until this moment to gather together the remaining candidates to decide who would be his replacement? What prevented him from doing it when Sun and Jin were still alive? Oh yeah, he had to stall for the sake of extending the season 6 drama.
What happens if the glory hole gets violated? ‘Something very bad.’ Thanks Jacob, I know it’s bad, but I’m an adult, and I could use a little more detail. Without it, I might go stick my finger in the hole just to find out what kind of bad will ensue.
Don’t go sticking your finger in strange holes. That almost always leads to bad things. Like lawsuits… Or strange fungal problems…
Or bloody stubs…..
LOL I wonder what comes out of the islands sphinctre? Dark light?
you mean butthole? cause there’s a lot of sphincters, 40-50 or so.
-It takes Miles, Ben, and Richard days to reach Otherton, but Zoe can zip back and forth from the beach?
-The most powerful evil in the Universe is coming…quick hide in the closet!
-Oh, yes, in the closet of your greatest enemy! Sure, he will keep that a secret!
-Boy Jacob steals his ashes so he can become big boy Jacob. Makes perfect sense.
-Random names, random candidates, random reason for crossing out names
-Everyone sitting in jail…just like Mayberry!
-Barney (Ana Lucia) lets everyone go for donut money!
What was the significance of the ashes besides introducing more mysteries. He might as well have said “That’s my Jenga set. Give it to me”
Kate was crossed of the list of candidates when she became a mother
Jin became a father.
Sun became a mother.
Why wasn’t Kwon crossed of the list?
BOOM
PLOTHOLE
If only Darlton gave a fuck… but they don’t. NO SHAME!
STOP TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF MY BELOVED SHOW….LOST RULES AND I WANT TO THEORIZE ABOUT IT FOREVER AFTERWARDS CAUSE I’M A TOTAL FUCKING IDIOT. STOP TRYING TO ROB ME OF MY IDIOCY!!!
I LUV SAWYER!!!!
Thanks, half of my friends that watch this show.
Lucky you…..
I guess you guys have a lot to talk about then…
I have become oblivious to these things. It’s unbelievable I didn’t pick up on this. Why was Claire not on the list? She had the worst life out of all of them
Just thought of something else and got pissed off all over again.
So Hurley is ‘aware’ … Dez is making everyone in sidways world ‘aware’ of both realities somehow. Right. No prob, I can handle that, however stupid.
But then.. Hurley drops Ana Lucia’s name.
As she is committing presumably the biggest crime of her life.
She is ID’d in the act by a stranger!!!!!
and doesn’t question it further than … huh? oh.. no problem..
Garbage.
More to the point, who uses someone’s full name?
What they died for:A big dumb JRPG final boss fight in the finale, I really thought the show was approve this kind of cliche garbage
Widmore has been ruined this season, turned into a walking plot device, a complete moron compared to being a man on Ben’s level with vast resources in the previous seasons. He says he is on the “good” side now because Jacob talked to him, yet another lazy choice over deeper character development and motivations
The whole scene was stupid. I will not tell Ben, but I will tell this insanely evil monster that kills everyone and everything. And for that matter, I order the execution of babies, why do I give two shits about anyone besides myself?
Darlton ruined Widmore in a lot of ways, not the least of which is the fact that everything he’s done to this point is to get Desmond back to the island because Desmond is some kind of electromagnetic freak of nature. All the money he’s spent, all the people he’s destroyed, it’s all because Des can hang out in an oversized EZ Bake oven and not die. Total crap.
Has absolutely nothing to do with him sending a freighter in S4. Why do they keep fucking with me?
Desmond > Doctor Manhattan
Ha! When the episode aired where they did the test on Des, I called the machine the “Intrinsic Field Subtractor”.
Another person Jacob brought to the island to die horribly.
Holy christ this show is indefensible. Lost apologists probably get confused making pop tarts and occasionally get lost in their own houses.
Yeah Darlton, let’s just kill a ton of characters off in the last few episodes of the series without any satisfying resolution to their importance. NICE.
Douchebags.
I forget, what was Zoe? I mean that in the most generic of terms. I know she’s a girl, but anything else? What the hell is she supposed to, you know, do?
There’s no time for that…(sigh)…ahh forget it.
Problems with Alt-verse this episode
I haven’t ever been thrown in the clink, but I imagine that if it happened to me in L.A. I wouldn’t end up in a single occupant cell right next to a chick from a shampoo commercial.
Sayid is still in the downtown lock-up. He’s been there at least a week. Freshly shot Sun freaked about seeing Locke in the hospital when he was brought in after being run over by Des. This was presumably the day Sayid was nabbed at Nadia’s house after shooting up the restaurant. Locke fully recovered from his surgery and returned to work before Des turned himself in at the cop shop… and Sayid still hasn’t been transferred to another holding facility.
Miles asks Sawyer to be his ‘date’ at a concert. Butch up, dude. You are a freakin’ cop after all.
Jack, desperate to fix Locke, stalked and badgered the man with psychotic intensity for a period of days. Then, when Locke, of his own free will, came in ready to accept the surgery offer, Jack risked blowing the deal by getting all bitchy about the whole Fate vs. Coincidence business.
Claire’s preggo belly is uber fake. She needs to at least waddle around or something.
Ben’s arm is in a sling because he was punched in the face repeatedly.
Ben can’t drive himself home after school because he was punched in the face that morning.
Rousseau shouldn’t look worst done up and wearing a dress than she did when she was covered in filth and wearing army camouflage, but she did. (Maybe I just prefer dirty old hairy chicks with rifles).
Well, I have been thrown in the clink (just for a night) and I can tell you that the cells in local precincts have solid walls between them. You can’t even see the people next to you.
I can also tell you you are LUCKY if they let you spend a single night at the local precinct (or district, or whatever that city calls it). Usually they take you to the county lock-up immediately to save space.
Kate would have been locked up in the nearest Federal building from day one, of course. More than likely the Feds wouldn’t even have allowed the local PD to question her.
You’re making way too much sense. Who the hell do you think you are?! Carlton Cuse?
Lost is hardly the first show to use this type of plot device. If TV and movies showed lock-ups realistically, nobody would ever bother to use them as a setting. I guess I’m a bit hypercritical about this show after so many years of suck.
Oz.
Fuckit even Prison Break for up to 2 or 3 minutes at a time.
The local or county lock up is not the same thing as a penitentiary. There isn’t much unsupervised prisoner interaction, if any at all.
I have actually been in jail in L.A. before. It was over twenty years ago. Wasn’t for very long, but I still don’t recall the cells even remotly looking like that. As a matter of fact I have been in numerous jails in the western United States and never been locked up that close to a woman…..
Uh huh!
Could we possibly hire you to shoot the writers on a golf course or in a hotel suite in berlin having spent a night with darlton? What would be your price? 125,000, 3.2 Million, a toy-plane or a flashlight to protect from exhaust fumes?
All I wan is tree fitty…..
Ya Raeusouex (how does one spell that?) definitely looks uglier with make up.
Aren’t there rules against teachers meeting with students and parents outside of a professional setting?
Miles and Sawyer, “The Ambiguously Gay Duo.” That shit is great – they are so very Gay. Another Freudian slip on Darlton’s part?
Danielle – I kept thinking about her when she was in Babylon 5, with that big ass forehead…
When a substitute teacher comes back to work, all the hot young HS juniors know his name, wave and wish him well.
What the fuck kind of high school is this?
One thing I have always wondered, where do they get all the kerosene and spare hanes t-shirts necessary to keep their jungle trek torches lit?
From their magic backpacks…
It’s a bag of holding.
Those fucking packs. In the last three episodes, Jack’s produced a fresh T-shirt, a needle and thread, and a cup to drink of Jacob’s pond water. Next week will be a party pavilion complete with karaoke machine and gas grill.
And citronella candles for the skeeters.
And tiki torches, and white linen drapes and live Caribbean music.
Didn’t you know? Its a magical island with unlimited supply of Guns, C4, food, torches and whatever you want
.
Gawd Kate looked like shit this epi. Did sheget shot or was she coming down from Charlie’s heroin? So Desmond can destroy the island? Why didn’t smokie just have him do it right after the swan imploded? Cause at that time he was just a security system cuz darlton didn’t know where the show was going
They still haven’t figured out where the show is going and it’s over.
Aint that the bloody truth…..
MIB tells Ben that if he helps him kill some people, Ben can have the island to himself.
Ben agrees.
In the last scene, MIB tells Ben he’s going to use Desmond to destroy the island.
Are all the characters like that dude in Memento, and they don’t have any short-term memory? Why would MIB tell Ben that!?!
I know, I thought the same thing. Guess they must have cut the very next scene where Ben then asks…
“OK…Can you make it so I can at least breathe under water then?”
Right after I saw that I looked at my old lady as bug eyed as I could, and said “and what is it that you are gonna do with me again?” Extremely stupid…..
At this I’m assuming that MIB can get other people to kill Jacob/candidates. So why didn’t he just hold Sun hostage and get Jin to kill them all? Fuck, just go to ben 30 years ago and propose it.
Right – Ben would have done it when he was 12.
I meant when ben was initially in charge. But why wait 2000 years when I’m sure one of them would be willing to kill Jacob. Also, if he hates Jacob so much, why doesn’t fuck up his shit by kicking sand in his face all day long and smudging out the candidates in that cave.
It’s against the rules!
Hey everyone what about this. What if we are not giving the writers enough credit? After all, if I put 20 monkeys in a room with four bare walls and a huge bucket of shit, they could write a better weekly script than what we have been seeing from the Lost writers just by dipping their tails in the shit and slapping it against the wall. There is no way the Lost writers could be this dumb (I hope). This leaves only two options:
1. After season 2 the writers realized they had to answer some questions, but further realized there was no way to plausibly answer these questions. So they did their best to confuse us by creating an endless series of unanswerable mysteries with the hope that the fans would somehow divine an intelligent message from these mysteries.
2. They always intended this show to big a series of unanswerable mysteries as a sort of huge “gotcha” television show which…ahhh fuckin a. Fuck it. Either way it doesn’t matter. These writers a-holes. Carry on.
Answering questions in a show like this is the hard part about writing… Much easier to ask them. The writers either changed after season 2 or were never very good to begin with.
I think it’s the latter…..
Somewhere along the lines things got out of control. And then they started making exceptions to plot consistencies. Then the exception became the rule. Hence why we have so many plot holes
I miss Rod Serling. I do. I really do…
Those days are over…
i’m sure most parents would not like their daughter to take an unusual liking to one of her high school teachers, and for him to have an interest in her.
I thought that as well. In this day and age any teenage girls mom would just assume the teacher was trying to get in her daughters panties.
While we’re on the subject, that whole scene with Ben, Rousseau and Alex was just AWFUL. When Rousseau was babbling about how Ben “was the closest thing she’s had to a father”, I could not contain my laughter. Talk about bad, cliched writing… jeez.
Rousseau isn’t most parents. Next week we get to see the rest of that scene.
“Tell me again what happened to her father.”
“He died when she was two.”
“Yes, but what happened?”
“Arsenic in his Coq au Vin.”
“GAAAACK!”
The last thing Ben sees is Carl the Groundskeeper telling his story: “So, I jump ship in China, make my way over to Tibet….”
Cut to a scene of Bai Ling, flying from Thailand to Tibet on Oceanic Flight 518. The flight lands uneventfully, but when she enters the terminal there is a tragic accident involving her nipples and the Dalai Lama. The last thing the Dalai Lama sees is some bug-eyed guy saying “He doesn’t get to save his daughter!” The Lama thinks to himself “Who the FUCK is that?” and then his light goes out.
Back on the Island, the magic light suddenly dims and Jack starts to wonder if he made the wrong decision. “Jacob lied to me. I wasn’t meant to be here!” Sawyer laughs and asks him if he ever read that novel about those people whose plane crash lands in Tibet…
BOOM
LOST HORIZON
That’s good man, REAL good. I’m especially fond of the part with Bai Ling’s nipples… I can’t imagine why.
You successfully replicated the lost style of story telling!!
By the way- extra, super bonus points for having seen Lost Horizon.
I enjoyed this part of the alt-verse because it jogged my memory about Ben, history girl, the history club, the douchebag principal, and history girl maybe not getting into Yale because the principal was going to torch her with his negative recommendation.
God that was a funny thread.
one positive in the whole episode – terry o’quinn in the scene in jack’s office. mofo can act. too bad that was all taken away by jacob singing kumbaya around the campfire and various negations of the previous episode. lost reminds me of the chick who has that one redeeming quality, shows it to you, and then proceeds to rub her own shit all over herself.
Excellent.
There are/were a lot of good actors on Lost. Terry O’Quin (Locke) is one. Titus Welliver (MIB) is another. Christian Shepard played his role convincingly. As did that Abadone dude, Michael Emmerson (Ben), young widmore, Richard, Mikhail, Desmond (before making him a faggot)… but the writers keep fucking up the characters. They turned Sayid into rambo, then a zombie.
Terry O’Quinn was great as Millennium’s Peter Watts. But mentioning Lost and Millennium in the same sentence is sacrilegious… one episode of Millennium is worth the whole of Lost…
And let’s not go into Rod Serling’s shows…
Do you have that chicks number?
Me first…
I think she’s the “cake fart” girl’s cousin. Or maybe it was the “two girls, one cup” ladies… hmmm?
Anyone hear that willy wonka song and think it sounded like (dr) Benjamin linus?
the att commercial that airs waaaaaaay too much. yes.
Thank heavens for DVRs. If I had to sit through the commercials during Lost I would claw my eyes out.
During one of the commercial breaks they had the audacity to call the upcoming finale “the TV event of the decade”
It wasn’t a joke.
Yeah they have some serious balls making that claim
I’m actually surprised they didn’t say “the TV event of all time.” They sure got some big heads…..
and it’s going to be 5.5 hours long.
Amen to that. And pause, rewind, replay also facilitates the making of sarcastic comments without ever having to worry that you might miss something equally worthy of sarcasm. Watching LOST has turned into a Jerry Seinfeld / Plan 9 from Outer Space experience.
It really has gotten into MST3K territory. Or for us here in Chicago: Svensurround (Google Svengoolie if you must know, it’s worth it). I often feel like Statler & Waldorf from the Muppet Show while I’m watching Lost. Yelling random insults at the screen and then laughing hysterically at my own mean jokes.
More like Jerry Springer if you ask me…..
Please don’t belittle Plan 9 from Outer Space by comparing it to…
You’re right, that was going too far.
Goddamn guys I was talking about LO$T not Seinfeld!!! Seinfeld was a show that wasn’t supposed to make sense. LO$T is a show that don’t make sense…..
Yea I use commercial breaks to reflect on all the answers they gave and to post in fuselage about the islands mythos.
you mean you reflect on all the answers they didn’t give
So many “reveals,” so little time.
I’m obsessed by all the answers they didn’t give…
I can’t believe they said “there’s no time for that” like 2x already
Wait until you hear how many times they say “the end is near”, or some variation of that.
there’s no time for answer, because the end is near. thats Lost!
You ALL everybody
The time for answers has come.
Can’t they just put more wood on Jacob’s fire? Heh heh wood.
If we put aside for the moment the absurdity of ghosts dying, and random ashes, and ghosts being able to rob living people, then yes you raise a valid point. Why didn’t they just keep the fire burning.
“I chose you because you were like me….” all the other people on the plane… Yeah they were a small sacrifice…. I have the power to crash planes and bring people from far away places but I couldn’t keep the rest of the passengers alive
Yeah, a plane with a couple of hundred people on it and those were the only people who had made a mess of their lives…SURE.
Yeah. “I chose you because you are flawed.” The hell? So everyone in the world that wasn’t chosen… is flawless? Am I understanding that right, Dufuston?
My ex g/f developed a heroin addiction. Can we get her bumped up the list?
“I used to know a girl, she had two pierced nipples and a black tattoo. She would do anything.”
At least she’s your ex g/f.
Oh my fuking god another commercial. Not only that but no one asks what this magical light is. Jack just says ok I’ll do it. WTF.
I almost puked when Ben and Rousseau almost kissed
I would have been flacid for the next three years.
I think they did kiss, but ABC put its foot down and said no more fuck ups
Somehow I don’t think my “final transmission” of GOOD RIDDANCE is gonna get shown
Have faith brotha…..
All I can say is the time for questions is over
BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
That was pathetic. If the finale has commercials which I am sure it will it will be equal to about 1 hr and 15 mins of material. It’s going to be a stupid good bs evil battle where some new plot device such as a mystical sword (the other knife won’t do) which is the only thing that can kill smokey is introduced. One catch it’s on an even newer island that no one has visited yet. A chase scene on boats will ensue where Jacob will die. Jack will get the knife. More characters will die and in the last thrilling moment (if you are unsure when this is listen for loud fast music) Jack will kill smokey. BOOM
HAHA they just rip off every literary piece of work known to man
Jack is told by a mysterious man with a white beard, and a blue dress and a pointy hat who’s name is never revealed, oh lets just call him Nerlin, to go to a secluded part of the island which is 4 days walk away (but 45 minutes walk back) to pull a magical sword out of the stone. In the next scene he has a magical ring that makes him invisible. Then Sean Connery comes out of nowhere and explains to him what he is and that he must kill MIB and take his place on the island as an immortal, or go back to wherever he came from and die, all the meanwhile invalidating the entire plot. Jack uses a magic shield as a mirror to approach the smoke monster and cuts off its head, then flies off on the pegasus
I feel bad for all those people who spent years of their lives researching mythology, religion, numbers, chaos theory, philosophy, etc piecing together all the “clues” trying to make sense and figure it out. Something tells me that a magical light in the jungle was not mentioned in any of the forums. Hey look JJ and company weren’t lying about one thing…it wasn’t any of the guesses people had.
At this point I would be happy if they said it was heaven, hell, purgatory, the fountain of youth, Atlantis, a dream or anything that was actually definitive.
Intelligent design is fine by me
Oh but didn’t you know? Crowdsourcing is so kewl! And cheap.
But please note that what the fans actually create still mysteriously becomes (c) the showrunners.
Someone please, go nuts, and cut off Damon’s wife’s dick.
I believe Damon to be gay, and have said this before.
You can tell foremost by his Sawyer/Miles interactions in the LA alt/gay world – not cool. They are **** smokers for sure.
In Soviet Russia, monster summons you.
HAHAHA
In hindsight that made no sense. How would the monster summon him?
The monster has his own magical bathtub under the Temple. Whenever he drains it, Ben shows up and his bug eyes turn everyone to stone.
HAHA Smokie has a pimp pad under there where he parties with his smoke bitches. *Ben Summons*. “Damnit all. Sorry ladies, duty calls”
Fuck, you know Smokie is ballin’. He’s had 2000 years with nothing to do but rip up trees and build stuff. You see that half a donkey wheel he built? Dude’s got some skillz.
LOL I liked how they totally back peddled on that one..this show blows
Lets look at the evolution of answers in this show
-First they claimed answers would come in later seasons
-Next they delayed answers (”There’s no time for that”)
-Next they implied that answers would only lead to more questions
-Now they claim that the question was wrong to begin with.
And, if the secret toilet in the secret room summons the smoke monster, how in the fuck does the smoke monster not know that there is a secret room from whence he is summoned?
Why did Smokie sit down and start manicuring his nails and having a chat with Ben to ascertain the location of Widmore when he knows full well there is a secret room in the building directly behind him where the magical secret toilet of +5 summoning is located?
Why was it in Richard’s episode Jacob says the reason he brings people to the island to prove Smokey wrong (that man is not corrupt). And now suddenly bringing people to the island is all about finding a replacement?
It is a more subtle way of saying FUCK YOU to an audience you have no respect for.
Actually Jacob never said that. That was a different Jacob in a different episode. Ergo, it’s not considered canon.
Dude. I think you’re on to something there. What if, in the finale, they reveal that every episode shown to us has been a peek at a different alternate realty? Different timelines versions of characters, with different motivations, doing and saying different things? This stupid shit would all finally make some semblance of sense!
That’s actually just about the only way they could “tie it all together”
Every episode was a different thread of reality completely isolated from the other episodes. I like it. I hope they are reading this.
Rousseau to Ben:
“You’ll come to dine with us even if I have to kidnap you”
Ha haha hahahahah! That’s so subtle!
Sadly that line is maybe the best of this shitisode.
LOL at least they are trying to connect to the previous seasons. I just they would focus less on dialog and more on plot consistency
Tyler, you must mean “Fortunately, it’s an oncoming train.”.
I’m looking forward to discussing the poopfest here with you guys as watch it tonight.
Jack : This is why I am here…
Jacob : Is that a question ?
Jack : No.
Jacob : GOOD !
They finally got the ultimate logic to avoid “never ask me that again”.
In the next stage in Lost viewer devolution. Not only are Darlton telling us what not to do, they have now indoctrinated us to never conceive of doing said things.
Why is anyone still looking for a logical ‘anything’ from this show? This is wrap-it-up, happy-happy, Ewoks dancing TV time.
Clearly stated “the light is in all of us” ergo we don’t really need the fairy cave (MacGuffin). Tonight, Jacob, almost misty-eyed, admits HE, for personal reasons, couldn’t kill what he turned his brother into, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be killed. Or at least tricked into going back into the Genie-bottle, glory hole from whence he emerged and then use some illogical method to sink the Island to the bottom of the ocean a. la. scene 1, s6ep1. Probably involving some grand ultimate sacrifice from one or all of the surviving characters so that the people who still give a fuck are weeping and moaning “Oh, no! They’re ALL dead.” But lo and behold, the ultimate sacrifice is what was needed–someone dieing for all our ‘badness’ … where have we heard that before? Anyway, miraculously the world is saved. Hallefuckinglujah!
We get left with newly awakened LA cast. Nobody dead. Everything’s cool. George Lucas gets paid to write another glowing letter of congratulations–this one more heartfelt since imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. The fuselage crowd wets themselves. The WLS crowd picks their collective jaws off the ground and takes a 3000+ entry, final episode crap.
And then … may I suggest you download or rent season two of the Mighty Bush. Bizarre English comedy at it’s best. If you like that sort of thing, it will do wonders to wash all the Lost-crap from your weary brains. Season one and three are worth a watch as well, but season two was consistently top-notch. Mighty Bush is more Post-mod, Monti Python-ish than Benny Hill. Hard to categorize.
That is all.
Carry on.
This show is dead to me
I have said the exact same thing numerous times… sadly it won’t be dead to me until Sunday evening.
Sorry. I’m not suggesting the ending will look anything like what I just wrote. All I’m saying is if your “logical-consistency-Bull-Shit-meter” is pegged on max already, may I suggest you temporarily disconnect the meter’s power supply by consuming mass quantities of some type of mind numbing/altering chemical before watching the final episode. If you don’t then you risk snapping the needle and damaging the unit. A functioning BS meter can come in handy. Specially now that you’ve got one so sensitively calibrated by this Lost disaster. Used wisely, your finely tuned instrument may save you from wasting another 6 years of your life on an the next seemingly ‘cool’ show that degenerates into toilet waste. By the way, there are also drug and alcohol free methods that one can apply. Just don’t use the lost writing team’s approach. They’ve shown that their methods lead to terminal retardation of logical thought processes. These methods are obviously so damaging that I feel it is in the public interest that I not perpetuate their continued use by presenting them in any detail, though a simple Google search will describe them in detail. (Google: Thetans)
I’ve tried it all: alcohol, weed, ritalin, nothing makes show bearable. I just lower my consciousness to my animal instincts and look for an explosion or a kill.
Do you mean “The Mighty Boosh”? Because it rocks. I like the ones set in the Nabootique better than the zoo ones, but they are all great. My favorite episode: “The Nightmare of Milky Joe”.
Eels all up in ya, findin’ an entrance where they can
Eels all up in ya, findin’ an entrance where they can
Yes I meant The Mighty Boosh!!!
“Come with me now on a journey through time and space” … one that doesn’t suck!
Season one – Killa Roo
Season Two – lost’s of them. milky joe and ‘the new sound’ and nanagedden …
Season 3 – eels
I’m also very fond of Black Frost. I love the drum ‘n’ bass that plays to announce his arrival.
Sand Storm! Love-Love.
LOL
Widmore: As usual I’m three steps ahead of you
Ben: *bam Bam BAM*
Freedom is to see..
you said it, brotha’
I like how Smokie did not know about Bens closet when that was the very place he “summoned” Ben. They are basically saying FUCK YOU every third line in this episode. Whose dick do you have to suck to be a writer in hollywood these days. Seems to be the only qualification.
For all their on-screen talk about love, this show lacks heart. They’re so busy trying to out think the audience they’ve attracted that they’ve created a complete head-fuck of a show that will never mentally please anyone. People can be very forgiving of a show’s inconsistencies if you ‘like’ the characters. If you remain emotionally engaged, you will let a shit-load of illogical crap just slide on by.
Think of your family.
Or Avatar. Logical? Not really. Filled with psudo-religious philosophy? Sure. Glowing fairy grottos? Check. Did I remain emotionally engaged with the characters enough to forgive the plot-holes? Never even felt the urge to dwell on them. They were truck sized, but I didn’t care. Did I know I was being manipulated? Possibly. Did it bother me? Not really. Am I a sucker-dipshit? Probably. Do you wish I would fuck-off? Possibly. Will I fuck-off! Most definitely!
Fucking off now.
That is all.
Damon said it’s not about the details, but the emotional “journey” we are taken. According to him, that’s enough for us, and supersedes all that other stupid stuff we want to know… I was never engaged with these characters, and just wanted to understand what everything meant… Isn’t that what a good Mystery story does? But no, this is not a mystery… it’s a character based drama… WTF?
Is this a new “style” of writing? Like a Sopranos ending type of deal? All questions – no answers… figure it out for yourself. Each person interprets their own ending… what a bunch of crap.
I’m afraid so. This is what constitutes ‘edgy’ on TV. Supposed to be all post-modern, your truth is just as good as my truth, flat-land, no evaluation of values, slap-dash, open your mouth I need to shit, slacker comes to Hollywood, I don’t know how to end this sentence, so I’ll let you come up with your own ending, BOOM!
Well fuck me, because I like old time stories with a real endings. Not – pick your favorite alt. ending on the Jimmy Kimmel show bull crap… that is low class.
I agree with everything you say!!! So, when do you want to meet up…..
Haven’t seen Avatar, never will. I couldn’t find a SINGLE person who could tell me a SINGLE thing they liked about the film that didn’t involve the phrases “special f/x” or “change the way we watch movies”. Not for me, thanks.
I saw it in 3D – the effect bugged me. I thought it was dark and parts out of focus. As a big scifi fan, you would think I would have liked it…. but it was boring as hell. I tried to watch it again in bluray – still boring.
So the series finale “event” is 5 1/2 hours long. That consists of:
A 2-hour recap of events that are virtually irrelevant now.
A 2.5-hour finale with a canonical ending that no one will like.
A 1-hour Jimmy Kimmel Lost-themed show with alternate endings…
So that each lost fan can choose which ending he/she likes best. Lame.
As someone mentioned above, I liked O’Quinn’s acting when he was in Jack’s office.
I liked the familiar swagger of Alpert when he walked out for the meet and greet. The only thing missing was his carrying a torch and spiking it into the ground. I thought to myself “Richard from the first three seasons is finally back.”
but then…
S N A P Y O U R F I N G E R S S N A P Y O U R N E C K
Huh?
Killing Widmore like that, after alllllllllllll this build up, was simply awful. If Ben had killed him in the bedroom – back when he confronted Widmore about the Giant Rabbit Known As Keamy killing Alex – that would have have been far more effective.
Killing Zoe (AKA Kate’s bi-polar stunt double) was a nice touch. I really can’t complain about that.
I seem to remember Smokey telling Ben he could have the island to himself if he helped Smokey. But a little later, Smokey announces he wants to destroy the island completely? Is Ben concerned that his “deal” is not a deal at all?
Vincent the Dog will save the day. Mark my words. Read them. Then mark them. Some kind of leaping action will be involved… like the dog in Independence Day escaping from Fiery in the tunnel.
The most underrated actor in the series…. Frank Lapidus! AKA The Lawn Mower Man! Bastard can nail his lines. He doesn’t have to speak, he just waves you in with those semaphore flag eyebrows. The way he died on the sub was stupid, too.
My vote for the character who best represents this message board: Smartass Miles.
I probably won’t be back after the finale. I’ve enjoyed all the wit, intelligence, and reality displayed by you mofos.
One last thing if I may…
I WOULD SO DO NAOMI.
May LOST Rest In Pieces.
“Zoe (AKA Kate’s bi-polar stunt double)”
-This truly is a community for sharing our nick names
But I thought that Richard was immortal? How could Smokey kill Richard if nothing has been able to kill Richard for 120 years?
It’s never explained very well. I think what happens is that he doesn’t age, but he can still die. Same with Jacob. The whole dynamite in the Black Rock scene was total BS. How could someone not die by their own hand?
All we need now is a finale that shows Eloise Hawking go to the future and get a grown up Walt and then find a way to go back through time to the Island at present with the MIB trying to leave the island only to have Walt kill him with his mind like he did the bird in the episode “Special”. That would Make all the Jacob crap irrelevant, but really, its what we should come to expect. Killing the MIB doesn’t really solve anything in the end the light seems to be flickering out so Aaron, now an adult and also from the future somehow, appear out of the jungle to smash Desmonds head in with a rock and flush him down the light hole where he becomes a pillar of white smoke which will now protect the light. We still don’t know why, but no longer care. Put me in cage number one and give me a drink!
Anybody notice how there’s a bunch of kids milling around the high school campus, but nobody—NOBODY—comes over when Des is beating the crap out of Ben? I guess they all figured it wasn’t important that one of their favorite teachers is getting his ass handed to him.
I’m feeling good, I’m feeling lean. I got my lats back, my abs are more defined. I’m gonna kill this thing next week. My last full appearance on national TV. After this it’s all film and cinema. Embrace it, my farewell to network television. It’s coming people!!
Mr. Fox:
Is it true that the Speed Racer spinoff is going to be called Racer X Goes to Monte Carlo? Also, is it true that the plot may revolve around your tattoos? And would you consider a guest-starring role on Fat Stupid Round Eye?
Thank you in advance.
RR
Thanks raptusregaliter, I appreciate the interest kid.
I’m not sure the pathetic geek world (This place definitely included in that) would be able to take a full blown Racer X Movie. Look I’m open to discussion, my agent will field all calls, but with LOST out of the way I’m looking to do a couple small-roles (maybe Indie or searchlight level) just to generate a new base, then I’d like to maybe branch off and play some oddball more comedic roles to test my range. I’ve already got some offers from the Apatow camp as they like the irony of a character like me playing in a comedy. I think my physique an overall disguised look will garner me plenty of uppercrust businessman, mogul type roles. But again I’m down for the challenge. The slight gray I’ve incorporated into my beard-stubble and sideburns has opened two-paths of genre choices for me, so I’m exited about that.
I’m so giddy I’m misspelling left and right.
“I think my physique an overall DISTINGUISHED look will garner me plenty of uppercrust businessman, mogul type roles.”
You’ve been looking kinda rough in the last few episodes. Forehead wrinkles, haggard, slack skin tone, etc. Get it checked out dude.
Ok, I’ll play along for laughs.
Walked past your former house just yesterday Matty Boy. Where’s the For Sale sign man? Aren’t you going to sell that empty thing?
Why sell? I got enough money in escrow and Margherita and the kids will surely want to visit during whatever downtime that may come. LOST has afforded me certain pleasures, pleasures people here will never experience in a hundred lifetimes. Hawaii will always be apart of my heart and soul, so while leaving will be bittersweet I still hope to keep some connections here. Connections my wife and kids will always be fond of. I owe them that.
I watched the last five minutes of the episode (I’ve been doing this for the last few months) and I couldn’t believe how bored everyone looked. Anal looked like she was just cashing a check and not even a very big one. Phoned in doesn’t even come close to how it all felt. The visuals – picture, sets, and costumes – all looked cheap. Clothes all looked too new (like costumes), picture looked like it came off a good cam recorder, everyone looked like they had been staged.
Can’t really put my finger on it, but it all looks very cheap.
I feel like the events leading to the finale,and the end itself, have nothing to do with any of the little clues or hints or anything from the first few seasons.
If anyone can correct this for me, and make me not feel horrible for all of my friends who read Lostpedia and talk about little clues all day, please do.
PLEASE.
Sincerely,
A concerned friend of a Lost fanatic.
I used to be a fan of lostpedia too. I hope you face the truth. May be its your DESTINY to be here. LET GO of your past.
Lostpedia is totally worthless and always was. It’s only real function now if it was an honest site would be to deliberately and in loving detail show exactly where each train derailment of plot occurred as a stern warning to future man.
Also wolfman.
Why didn’t Jacob just immediately tell every “candidate” over the past 2000 years that the smoke monster was trying to kill him and he needed help to either kill or contain the smoke monster? Seems to be a lot more time efficient than waiting until the very last second after he’s dead and there’s only a handful of “candidates” left to come clean about the fact that he’s the one who created the smoke monster and now the fate of the entire universe rests on the decision of you four fuckups because if none of you decides that you want to do this then we are all fucked.
yeah…this was on my mind too!
If Ben can kill someone for MIB in return as the island owner, why can’t MIB offer this to Ben earlier (prior flight 815 crash perhaps) ? By asking Ben to kill jacob when the candidate do not even arrive the island. Why bother all the tricks to let them come and go and come again?
That was my question. Or at the very least kill all the others just to piss off Jacob
This is a big question!!! How come the others, say the 50s others and after, were not ever afraid of this black cloud of distructive smoke? The Dharma people even had a fence. He fucked with the crashies but not the others. He never seemed to have a problem with the wicked witch of the west indies travelling to and fro across the island. How come he never seemed to fuck with the others? Now as far as Richard goes, how come he seemed to be able to frolic around endlessly receiving and delivering lists from Jacob to the others without ever, not even one time encountering Smokie? He went like a hundred and fifty years without seeing him one single time. Yet when the plane crashes ole Smokie is Johnny on the spot…..
This could easily be explained just by saying that he went into hiding to orchestrate his master plan.
But what I don’t understand is that if he can toss people around, then he can physically touch objects. Therefore, he should be able to move things, such as the wheel. Move the wheel and escape.
Thank you for this site. It’s doing a great service and has helped me realize what a fucking idiot I’ve been. What about the plot hole of Alex having been already buried before Ben came back? So, um I guess the “fact” that Smokie can only take the form of unburied people is also bullshit?
Someone should do a professional paper on this. Sort of like What Finklestein did with From Time Imemorial
You’re forgetting about Rule #4390, which states that Smokie may not take the form of any deceased person that has been buried, UNLESS they have been buried by an immortal boytoy of the brother who had tossed him down the island’s asshole.
You’re right. Makes perfect sense. Fuck. It’s scary how rationalizations such as these keep people defending this crap on other websites.
Something else is goofy. I wonder why was she was buried where she fell instead of getting a grave off by the beach or in the forest? Why bury her under the lawn?
And who buried her anyway, Pedro the groundskeeper? The ground is perfectly flat and the sod is still intact. It would take a real pro to do something like that.
Seriously, bury her next to the swings.
Heard on stupid ass Darkufo that they are adding 20 minutes of unaired bullshit. They must know that this season sucks and need a way to try to rope idiots into buying the dvds.
if it’s not aired, it’s not canon. problem solved
Poll:
When does the Academy take back the (writing, best drama) Emmys from past seasons?
They won’t. That would be admitting they were dipshits.
Spoiler alert.
Next episode it is explained that Ben wants the island to start the largest Emu farm in the southern hemisphere. His last plan failed due to the polar bears eating all his Emus. The real reason he killed his father and the dharma folks was they didn’t support his grandiose Emu initiative and thought that the Emu bubble had burst. There is no light at the center of the island and no light in all of us. Darlton lets this plot point slide without explanation just as the many other ridiculous plot points have fallen by the wayside. Instead Jack pushes his way through the bamboo and comes accross a huge marijuana plantation. He craftily negotiates around the Thai AK-47 wielding guards to poach the crop and runs back to the candidates like Super Mario. (The Beach… anyone?). Desmond has a special single malt whiskey with Locke and they get wasted together joking about how the whiskey is the only light inside of them. They end up have consentual man on man anal action, too drunk to remember protection, and MIB winds up with AIDS. The failsafe “came” into effect. In the ALT universe after the concert they all have a party, drop e, and have an orgy. Jack’s son, who was sent to bed early in the mansion whilst daddy “chats with some friends’ comes down and sees the orgy just as Kate is getting DVDA from a flock of Emus. He is appalled and walks in speaking ancient aramaic damning Sodom and Gamorrah and over turning the gambling tables where Vincent was having a game of poker whilst getting blown by Hurley’s mom. Jack’s son is the second coming of Christ.
BOOM
LOST
Sounds as good as anything they’ve come up with so far.
That’s much better than the big money Hollywood people wrote it…
God bless.
I think the Emu thing makes a lot of sense
Is there anyone over the age of 12 that actually still likes this show?
I was wondering this as well.
Anyone who is still defending the show (on IMDB) seems pretty young at this point.
“I like it ‘cuz it’s good.”
“You just don’t understand it!”
“Waaaahhhhh!”
Mental age or real age?
their market is 13 year old girls, so yeah, they are older than 12. LOL!
I think so. Go to youtube and look for the Lost Parody Song. There are still a lot of die hard fans leaving comments saying that many mysteries were solved!!
Have you seen the 1968 Mel Brooks’ movie ‘The Producers’?
I really expect that in the middle of the finalè, suddenly a mad Nazi (is there any other kind?…) writer will appear, drop the curtains and say: “Ladies and gentlemen, I am the author of this show, you have been victims of a hoax, my script was about Hitler hiding in an island, not about two lame deities. This is an outrage… (someone knocks him out and drags him)”….
BTW could it really be like “The Producers”? Maybe the writers thought that the audience would grow sick of this show in 2-3 years (while they make tons of money), then the show would be cancelled and they wouldn’t have to explain anything. But, to their horror, people continued to watch; and now they’ve made so much promises to answers (Like Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom made to all those little old ladies) but there just aren’t enough real answers to give.
In ‘The Producers’ Max and Leo went to jail. Unfortunately, in our world, Damon and Carlton won’t.
Somebody posted a similar thing on the IMDB boards.
Called Lost a Ponzi scheme.
I think there’s a lot of truth in it.
Was it you who pasted that ponzi scheme thing up over here? Somebody did. It made total sense and was very well thought out.
I posted here something about a ponzi schemes a few weeks ago. I didn’t post it there.
It must be one of those great minds think alike deals then.
I say it’s theft. I want to sue.
There was a new version of “Producers” in 2003 I think. Anyway, this movie is much much much better than lost.
So it comes down to a final 4 in a Survivor type challenge? Total crap.
Jacob Probst and a jury of the recently departed decide the fate and one lucky person walks away with (fill in the blank, as if anyone cares anymore)? Outwit, Outplay, Outlast
Jimmy Kimmel will have a Lost wrap-up show where they crown the winner and interview the full cast.
This was a good show up until they started dumbing it down back in the 3rd season.
Holy smokes! I think you nailed it. Lost is just a fictionalized, dramatized version of Survivor.
I almost wish it was that good.
Jacob should have the four walk around a pole and whoever lets go is disqualified. naturally, Kate will emerge victorious
“Their posturings, their imagined self-importance, the delusion that they have some privileged position on the television are challenged by this shitty episode of a failed show.”
-Carl Sagan on Darlton.
Nice!
“Billions and Billions of plot points that go absolutely nowhere.”
O SNAP
Goddammit.
I missed last night’s show, and likely a huge piece in the ongoing nuanced complexities of Lost’s superb storyline, so now the finale isn’t going to make any sense at all.
The only way the finale could make sense at this point is if you don’t watch it
It may possibly makr sense if thats the only suckisode that you ever watched. WUHAHAHAHAHA!!! Who the fuck am I trying to fool…..
I wonder how many plot elements they’re going to contradict.
All of them…..
Bad news folks. Jorge Garcia is passing on “Fat, Stupid, Uncle Round Eye”. I even offered to change to the name to “A Fatley Affair”, but he wouldn’t budge.
I was wondering- does anybody else have any ideas for some Lost spin-offs?
Sawyer: Manslut would be a reality show in which Josh Holloway would pick up loose, horse-faced women, bang ‘em, and then excuse himself to the bathroom, leaving a very enticing folder marked “TOP SECRET: JOSH’S SECRETS” peeking from his sock drawer. A hidden camera would capture action as each woman would casually leaf through his shit.
Suddenly, Josh would return with the crew (all nude) and catch her red-handed, and all would point and laugh at the newest victim of Sawyer: Manslut.
I LOVE it!
Not a spin-off but a book: Scientology for Dummies, written by JJ, Damon and Tom and Tom’s cousin, Ethan.
I am a level 5 Operating Theton, Scientologist – not a cool comment dude, not funny.
Not as funny as being a level 5 Theton, Scientologist.
not me
Sawyer becomes the next candidate and agrees to let smokie off the island under the agreement that Smokie never harms Sawyer. They move in together in LA and join the LAPD. Episodes involve the bad guys getting away and Smokie catapulting Sawyer onto the hood of their car, to which Sawyer says ‘easy there muffler breath’ and when at home Sawyer disses smokie constantly, each time, playing the laughter reel in background, and smokie turns into a massive pillar of smoke and goes and messes with the landlord.
“Smoke Gets In Your Eyes”, which will have to air on cable since it will be rated XXX.
Well that just burns my ass to no end!!! What the hell is the matter with that big fat piece of shit? Is he an idiot or what? I just can’t see him having other obligations. OK, maybe Biggest Loser, needs him for a special celebrity season. “Fat, Stupid, Uncle Round Eye” would have been the opportunity of a lifetime for that fat prick. So I guess he already is the biggest loser…..
‘Lost’ gets a letter from George Lucas
Congratulations on pulling off an amazing show. Don’t tell anyone … but when ‘Star Wars’ first came out, I didn’t know where it was going either. The trick is to pretend you’ve planned the whole thing out in advance. Throw in some father issues and references to other stories — let’s call them homages — and you’ve got a series.
In six seasons, you’ve managed to span both time and space, and I don’t think I’m alone in saying that I never saw what was around the corner. Now that it’s all coming to an end, it’s impressive to see how much was planned out in advance and how neatly you’ve wrapped up everything. You’ve created something really special. I’m sad that the series is ending, but I look forward to seeing what you two are going to do next.
———————————-
Mahatma Ghandi also sends a letter from the other side to “Lost’
Thanks so much for your efforts in reviving the “bald-pseudo-religious-messiah” role model. I hope the chrome dome look that I pioneered catches on. Namaste to Terry O’Quinn and Damon Lindelof for making bald and religious trendy. You two are a match made in heaven. Please accept the gift of fermented goat curd I have taken the liberty of including.
Those knitting, yarn pulling and weaves scenes rocked! I couldn’t get enough. Although the gun and gun cock’n scenes I could done without.
MG
LOL! Hmmm… I have a shaved head… maybe I should start a religion based around how bad Lost sucks?
Attention Fanboys and Fangirls. If you are a true fan you must prove your solidarity with Damon by shaving your head before this Sunday. No soap or razors. Just a dry hunting knife like Terry O’Quinn does it.
Can I go the alternative route and grow some juicy O’Quinn-style man titties?
You’ll only tempt him into hacking them off with his bowie knife.
Relax. I’ll take care of the moobs while I’m reattaching his spine and kidney sacks. Freebee. On the house. I rock. As if there was any doubt of that.
Now I must quickly find a mirror to gaze into or my ego will cause me to selfcombust.
Extra points if you give your kidney to someone who doesn’t love you
C’mon now you imposer up there. Margherita only loves one Matthew man. I’ll leave if you guys really want me too, but I am Matthew Fox and I don’t appreciate the doppelganger stuff. I’ve scene enough of that over the last six years, ha.
“I’ve seen enough”
Jacob is a mass-murderer.
Think of the lots of relatives, that lost someone in the aeroplane-crashes. They also got lonely, so are they now candidates?
I fully agree to MIB with his actions. He tried killing the son of a bitch, which chooses randomly losers for helping him to keep a watch over his disneylight. The other ones which had family and friends were murdered by his superpowers while bringing these failures on the island.
I am glad MIB succeeded. And i wish him good luck for bringing the island down.
Yeah, and Jack will hopefully suffer a painful death.
Anyone notice how Jacob’s eyes are too close to his nose?
How could you not? Any closer and he’d be a cyclops.
You are so right. Remember in Ab Aeterno when Jacob tells Richard he brought others to the Island? Many others? Richard then asks what happened to them and Jacob replies…”They’re all dead.”
He says it with dispassion and a matter-of-fact manner as if he’s describing what he had for breakfast.
What a guy…
One note (and, believe me, it hurts me to somewhat defend the show): there’s no certainty that MiB was dead when he went floating into the island’s anus. He could have just been knocked out.
With that said, another (of many) unresolved issues: Why did Christian Shepherd appear to Michael right before he was killed in the freighter explosion? They told us MiB was posing as Christian, but we’ve also been told that MiB can’t go over the water. How did he just mysteriously appear miles from the island?
Also, why am I still asking these questions when the simple answer is “they just thought it would be cool/mysterious and had no reason/backstory (aka they were pulling it out of their collective backsides)”?
>> One note (and, believe me, it hurts me to somewhat defend the show): there’s no certainty that MiB was dead when he went floating into the island’s anus. He could have just been knocked out.
Jacob buried his body and it turned out to be “Adam” of “Adam and Eve” fame from Season One. If you go by the SMPTE time-code, and freeze the frame on frame 48151623, you can faintly see the image of Damon L. sucking his own cock over how fucking clever
a little cunt he isthat little stunt was.What’s more ridiculous is that the rules state one can not hurt the other. Rock to the head , more often than not, hurts.
We can do strike outs? That
kicks assis awesomeis so boss.I didn’t notice until now, but I’m amazed by the performance of Emilie de Ravin. Just watch her walk, it looks like she doesn’t even know she’s pregnant (ow dear, I took a bit of belly this year… gotta cut off those friday’s KFC) !
She could almost do jogging and that wouldn’t look weird.
By the way, I was nearly laughing my ass off when I realized Rousseau was in the car. I couldn’t help but think of the jungle-style hippie jumping out of the car and point her rifle on Ben, screaming “I WANT MY BABY BACK !”. With all the students passing by without noticing, of course.
And, as someone said earlier…
– Where’s Alex’s father ?
– Ow, I killed him when she was two. (she stares at Ben with her mad-junkie look) HE BECAME MAD AND WANTED TO KILL ME, SO I HAD TO DO IT.
If only they had thought of having Rousseau in pigtails like her daughter? They came so close to greatness.
Attention L.A. porno film makers out there. This is your cue. Hint, Hint.
I love how when Jacob asked Jack if he had a cup when it came time to drink the magic pond water. Jack feigns subtle surprise at the coincidence of the request and replies “as a matter of fact, I do.”
How dumb do the writers think we are? Are we supposed to believe that Jack’s line indicates that the writers realize how ridiculous it is for Jack to have a cup in his backpack, and therefore the writers have actually put thought and effort into the script?
I sincerely hope Jack washed that water down with an iodine tablet. Otherwise, Jack better have a lot of TP and a spare pair of underoos in the magic backpack.
Jack packing his backpack:
“Clean shirts? Check,
Metal cup? Check,
C4 time bomb? Check”
Where does he keep getting these packs? was it with him in 1977? Did he salvage that crap from the sub wreckage? What metal cup floats?
“…Jack if he had a cup when it came time to drink the magic pond water”
Jacob: Do you have a cup?
Jack: Yes.
Jacob : do you have 2 girls around here?
Jack : Yes
Jacob : Now see me manipulate those 2 girls to recreate the scene from “2 girls one cup” – that is the power the island gives you!!
Ewwww! That’s gross AND funny.
Jacob asks Jackass “hey stupid, yeah you with the dorky doo, you got a cup?” Jackass replys “Umm I sure don’t” Jacob stares at him very angrily and says “OK there is a way around this.” He then proceeds to take a huge drink out of the stream. Telling Jackass “This is gonna take a minute.” After about an hour goes by he pulls out his dick, and does some mumbo jumbo jive talking hand waving. He then tells Jackass “Since you didn’t have a cup you got to get on your knees and start sucking.” Jackass looking very nervous says “What, your cock?” Jacob at this point having lost patients grabs Jackass by the ears and pulls him down to his dick and says “Look you are the fucker who didn’t have a goddamned cup so start sucking!!! It’s the only way.” Jackass impishly mouths the dick and Jacob says “Don’t quit untill you have drank it all.” Jackass does as he is told and then Jacob lets loose of the ears of the Jackass and says “Now, we are as one.”…..
If only Kate had volunteered.
SNL, you are one sick SOB. I like that in a person.
If only Make Twain could spin a yarn half as good as that excerpt.
I mean “Mark”.
Now that’s a ghost story to tell the kiddies next camping trip.
Vanity Fair’s reviewer is as perplexed/annoyed as we are.
vanityfair.com/online/oscars/2010/05/lost-in-lost-penultimate-fighting.html
He and I took the same route to this point (watching the first 5 seasons in 3 wks of DVD cramming), so it’s refreshing to read a “professional” critic who thinks the show is as bad as I do.
someone wrote this comment:
“What an episode. Fate/free will came full circle last night – it was truly like watching an episode from season one or two and watching how things have changed, yet remained the same in the past 6 years. If the producers truly planted those ideas and that discussion in our heads so early with the intention of wrapping things up this way, they truly must have had things planned way ahead of time. Bravo – let’s see it all come to a head this Sunday. I can’t wait. hXXp://thesmogger.com/2010/05/18/looking-at-lost-the-five-best-risks-the-show-ever-took/
Posted 5/19/2010 12:15:45pmby mksmogger”
wow.
ABC must be paying some PR firm to run around posting that crap. Nobody who reads VF can be that stupid.
The only thing the producers have planted in my head is the desire to knock arrogant smirks off their stupid, smarmy faces.
That’s excellent.
LMFAO I love this quote
“Well, don’t I look foolish for getting every non-crossed-out candidate tattooed on my ass earlier this season. “
“Well, based on these criteria, and judging from my current feed of status updates, it would seem that about half of the people I’m currently friends with on Facebook could run the Lost island.”
“There were really only two ways that campfire conversation could have gone: Either (a) Jack was going to accept the job or (b) he was going to have one of his now patented freak-out moments and start yelling, “Oh, you want that fire burning, Jacob? Let’s see how many questions you can answer now!” as he throws a bucket of water on the fire. Neither of these reactions would have surprised me.”
-This person is god
fun reading
hXXp://www.nypress.com/blog-6476-a-great-big-rant-about-why-lost-sucks.html
Breaking Bad, FTW.
I find that Breaking Bad reached its peak early in season 2 with the whole Tuco abduction plotline. Much of the rest of season 2 was kinda lame by comparison. Season 3 is a little better. Still, it’s one of the 3 best non-comedy shows I’ve seen this decade, the other being firefly and Jericho.
What a great article. I couldn’t help but notice that all the comments are ripping the author for having “no imagination” or just for daring to complain about the show. God forbid anybody should have some expectations from the Man-Gods who write Lost. They are clearly far superior to us mere, mortal TV viewers.
So little fucking Justin Bieber running around the Island staring FLocke down is another “spooky” trope that just falls flat and ends, just like that. That along with the ashes.
Just more “who gives a flying fuck” mysteries “solved.”
And re-incarnation is heaped on the pile along with time-travel, magic lit-up vajajays and other nonsense.
Justin Bieber… heh, heh. How does that little turd get his hair to do that anyway?
I wonder how many great revealing answers we will get on Sunday? I’m so excited, my panties are soaked!
yep. sounds just like me
Here are three articles about how Lost was meant to only last 1 Season
hxxp://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/film/news/e3i9c779034c7476d10cb8e85433ab7c88b
“The fact that no one believed ‘Lost’ was going to be successful in the beginning was enormously liberating,” Cuse says. “So we set out to make 12 episodes of what we thought was the coolest TV show we could come up with and in so doing we violated a lot of the traditional rules of television narrative. We had characters who were murderers and had done very bad things. We had incredibly complex serialized storytelling. We had lots of intentional ambiguity, leaving the audience lots of room for interpretation and those things that sort of violated the rules of television were the very things that the audience ended up responding to.”
hxxp://www.tvguide.com/News/Lost-Cuse-Lindelof-1012875.aspx?rss=breakingnews&partnerid=imdb&profileid=01
“There were very few people who believed this premise was sustainable as a series, and that was incredibly liberating for me. Damon and I would sit down and have breakfast every morning — as we continue to do to this day — and we kind of approached it like it was just 12 episodes and out, how do we make these the 12 greatest episodes of television that we would want to see ourselves? We basically liberated ourselves from all the rules of traditional television narrative. We thought this thing would probably end up on DVD and would be like Twin Peaks or The Prisoner.”
hxxp://tunedin.blogs.time.com/2010/05/17/lost-endweek-cuse-and-lindelof-interview-part-one/
DL: Well, I think that we knew that the longer it went, the bigger it would have to get.
[...] “But I don’t think it was, I cannot now with 20/20 hindsight misrepresent my own personal feelings where I was after the pilot, and even up through the 9th, 10th, 11th episode, which was, I never thought that there was a series there.”
“* Was there then like a point like between the first and second season where you sort of hunkered down and said, okay, so now what’s the rest of the show?
CC: You know, it wasn’t, there weren’t sort of clean delineation points, I mean, basically the great thing that happened at the beginning of the show, especially in the sort of vacuum period before the pilot aired is that no one actually thought the show was going to work. I mean, you know, and so –
DL: As a series.
CC: As a series. But the pilot was great, but there was no expectation that this was going to be – that this would work as a long-running series. And so, therefore we were given I think a lot more freedom and we felt a lot more freedom to kind of do what we wanted to do and basically we kind of felt like, we were going to make the show that we wanted to make and the very kind of clear feeling that like, if it didn’t work, we would have very proudly have one of those DVD’s that geeks could pass around and go, this is like Twin Peaks or like The Prisoner–”Have you ever seen the 12 episodes of Lost?”
And we were like, we want people to think those 12 episodes of Lost are really, really cool. And that was really empowering because it allowed us to break all these rules that you’re never supposed to break in television, you know, and to kind of pursue a sort of storytelling that other shows hadn’t done. And the network was kind of, you know, was not committed. They made the pilot and they ordered the 12 episodes and I think they were — they didn’t have any sort of specific set idea as to what the show was or was supposed to be. And that was also good because oftentimes if the network orders and buys a show, they have a very specific idea what they want it to be and that may or may not be in concert with what the show runner wants it to be.
So, we – and then we started making the show and really the experience of making a television show is one of, trial and error and you also are sort of learning lessons as you go along. And what Damon said is correct, I mean, I had done enough that I knew that if we basically got in there and started tinkering around and trying things out, we’d start figuring out what worked and what didn’t work and that a paradigm would evolve. And by the end of the season it did and we kind of got through that.
And then once the ratings came out for the pilot and I remember Damon’s like look of despair when he came into my office and was like, does this mean we have to keep doing this? Because they were huge, you know, it’s like the –
DL: It was like 19 million or something like that–
CC: Yeah, it was just massive. And then everybody’s like, wow, you know, it won’t last you know. And the next episode came on and the ratings were just as big and so then we really started saying, we started talking about, okay, we really have to kind of fashion the mythology, but the problem was, there wasn’t really time to do it in a detailed fashion, so we sort of made it clear that anything we set up in the show, we had to have an idea where we were going with that. But then we really allowed us time between the first and second season to really work out things in much more detail.
So, by the time the Dharma film and orientation and the third episode of the second season was really emblematic of the fact that we’d really built a lot of mythology and we wanted to kind of put it out there and tell the audience, it’s okay, here’s were we’re going and here’s a sense of what the show is gonna be now.”
In the sideways universe, Lost DID get cancelled after one season, and became an underground cult hit on DVD. Also Michael Jackson banged some hot black tail.
It really was The Producers after all.
Jesus Prison Showering Christ.
This show will go down in history for sure. Only not in the good way.
One More Week Before I
shit on the faces of the weak and puny and desperate.
Funny stuff from the fuselage
Turns out the “heart of the island” was actually pretty close to the beach… but in some kind of strange dimension you can’t enter until the plot says you can.
But the plot is less then sixteen years old, so even it says you can enter it’s still statutory rape.
I’ll turn the wheel and go forward in time, then enter her
Maybe the Hurley bird will come back and scoop up Hurley mid-sentence and drop him in the ocean next week and that’s the last we see of him?
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
The resulting splash/tidal wave would be epic.
That just might be how the island sinks.
I’d just like to point out the absurdity of an island sinking. It’s not a boat. It’s physically attached to miles and miles of rock.
It looked more like a watery vagina than a heart.
Jack: So the numbers didn’t really mean shit.
Jacob: I guess you could say that.
Hurley: But, dude, they were written on the hatch. They were the safety code for the computer. They were in that transmission that caused Rousseau’s group to crash. They drove a friend of mine totally bat-shit insane. I played those numbers in the lotto and won butt-loads of money. They were in the Valenzetti equation. They were associated with the names of the real candidates.
Jacob giggles: Just chalk on the wall.
Everyone in unison: I call shenanigans!
Jacob shrugs.
Jack: So you made our plane crash on this island, which killed a bunch of people, just so you could, years later, offer the four of us your job. Why didn’t you just convince us to get on a commuter plan together? You could have saved us a bunch of time, and you could have spared the lives of all those other men, women, and children.
Hurley: Yeah, dude, that was super dicky… and stupid.
Jacob slaps his forehead: Snap, I never thought of that. See, Jack, you could be really good at this glory hole guardian job– much better than I was.
Jack smiles a self congratulatory smile.
Hurley: What if more than one of us wants to be the guardian? Is this a call dibs type of thing, or does the job go to the person with the best moral fiber, the greatest skill set, the best teeth or something?
Jacob: It’s a dibs thing. First one to call it gets it.
Jack: Issue, I spazzed out a few weeks ago and destroyed the magic lighthouse. Now how is the guardian going to be able to spy on future potential candidates?
Jacob, incredulous: You broke the lighthouse?
Jack: Well, not the whole lighthouse. I just smashed the mirror part all to shit.
Jacob, shaking his head: Well, that screws things up significantly. Without that lighthouse mirror, you have no way to warp off the island to any old place. Basically now the guardian is going to be limited to pop-in recon trips to the Tunisian desert via Ben’s closet donkey wheel. We are so screwed! My brother was right about all of you people. This isn’t going to work.
Kate: I’ll do it. I will be the guardian of the island.
Jacob scoffs: Honey, I was just being polite earlier when I said you could have the job. You weren’t on the short list for a reason. If I needed someone to stand around with arms crossed looking all determined and foolish, I would have chosen you immediately.
All the guys high five. The fire burns out. Jacob is still there.
Jack: You said that we had to decide before the fire went out. You said that you’d disappear, and the world would end.
Jacob: Believe me, that’s what I thought would happen. Looks like I was wrong. I guess I don’t need any of you after all. Sorry.
All chuckle in unison: Whatever, man. No biggie.
Credits roll. Sanford and Son theme plays.
Could it be the Jack is going to join Locke?
That is, help him destroy the island, so in a sense he played Jacob?
I don’t think it’s going to happen – too interesting.
EPIC WIN
Elizabeth!
Uh oh, I think it’s the Big One!
Gonna’ dip Kate’s face in dough and make gorilla cookies.
So does that make Kate the gorilla my dreams? Hmmm I think not…..
*rimshot*
Once this nonsense is over and done with you and I are taking our act on the road Smokie. We’ll be the biggest thing since Crosby and Hope.
What would we name ourselves? The bald guy and the fat bald guy…..
I’m glad some people are bitching publicly. I wish people with even more clout would do so. This is why we have so much crap on tv. People accept it and when a good show turns to shit, the followers keep following. Perhaps they don’t want to realize they’ve “been had”? They don’t want to admit they’ve wasted their time? Well fuck, I wasted my time on a gay ass show. Fuckers.
‘The Emperor’s New Clothes’. nuff said.
While I don’t watch a ton of tv, I don’t think I’ve seen a single “Lost” promo on ABC in the last couple of weeks. Makes me wonder if the suits at the network realized what a maggoty piece of rancid meat the show had become and that its “ending” was going to bring a lot of scorn and anger their way.
Then you haven’t seen the promo just last night saying the finale will be the “event of the decade” then huh? Yes, they are that far gone backing this shit.
Defendant : Your honor, my girlfriend was drifting through life aimlessly, she had no sense of purpose or direction. So one day I told her to bring along some of her family members and friends to a trip (payed by me), but instead I took them to an abandoned warehouse, where I shot all of them besides her, and then I tied her up, blindfolded her and then chopped her to pieces with a rusty chainsaw.
So you see, I do have a good explanation for my actions. So what say you, your honor?
Judge : Not guilty!
Mr. Ecko will return in the final episode to challenge smokie in a staring contest creating a physical and psychological scene, but then absurd scenes would take place in Ecko’s and Monster’s line of sight just over their shoulders. For example, Kate with deflatable breasts or Hitler planting a flag on the moon.
Yikes, what an awful show this has become. It seems now the last few episodes is just a massive slaughter of no longer needed characters, which is pretty spiteful if you think about it.
Any bets on the last episode? Miles for sure, Claire, Kate, Ben quite possible, and maybe all but the “one” too.
Obviously the big surprise will be that Jacob is the evil one and MiB is the good
Paul.
I think they should fire the Lost symphony orchestra and just blast a youtube video of your run of the mill punk rock band, then have the Losties come screaming out of the woods while smokie pummels them and Ben chases after them in a Hockey mask and with a chain saw.
I like it. It’s avant guard, it’s fast paced, it’s NOW.
When did Desmond beat up Ben?
It was in the script.
I mean in the flashsideways of the flashsideways, which supposedly is a flashback of the original timeline.
My head just exploded
Desmond beat up Ben when Ben was at the pier and he had just shot Desmond and was about to shoot Pennay. It was in S1-5…I really don’t care anymore.
Oooh yeah.
The whole flashing thing is even more ridiculous when you consider this:
What we call “flash-sideways” are actually flash-back-sideways because Aaron hasn’t been born yet and stuff. So the altverse is alt-season 1. The beating up on the pier however was original season 5.
So the flash was actually a flash-back-sideways-forward-sideways.
To be more precise, it was a flash ctrl-alt-delete.
Something like that.
And who told Ben he could summon smokie?
And what ever happened to that Amy girl he was friends with when he was young?
Did she leave the island or did Ben kill her during the Dharma (TM) purge? I had totally forgotten she even existed until you mentioned her.
It’s these little mysteries they don’t explain. They showed her dolls in one episode (the ones she had given to Ben as his b-day present) so I thought they would bring her back. Also, in the episode The Other Lady, the shrink says to Juliette something like “Of course Ben likes you, you look just like her”. I don’t know if she meant Juliette looks just like Ben’s mother, or just like Amy
That doesn’t matter anymore.
The Others told Ben that. Of course, that was when the writers were still saying the black smoke was a “security system”. It wasn’t until later that the MIB was even invented, let alone had anything to do with the black smoke.
Did they even state in the previous episode that the crazy bitch “made it so” that Jacob could prevent smokie from leaving the island?
We still don’t know why smokie can’t leave or why MIB coudn’t leave when he was still normal.
What if all this time has gone by and Smokie just not realizing he has been tricked, and could have left any time he wanted to…..
Hm so I guess they did sorta explain why Widmore suddenly wasnt after Ben anymore.
If Locke just goes to Hydra island alone in a canoe…then why the fuck didnt he do so half a season ago?
Also, how the fuck did Zoe get to the coast in 2 minutes? This is fucking childish.
Did you see when Flocke was rowing the canoe. At that rate it would take another season for him to get across. Can’t he make a massive propeller out of smoke and gun it around the island?
Yeah, make himself into a fan and be like a hydrofoil type of craft and boom you are there in no time. I thought hydrfoil type vessels were really fast…..
It’s too unbelievable that a man that can turn into a massive pillar of smoke has to paddle to get from one island to the next
He actually rowed from one part of the main island to the next though, didn’t he.
Sorry that’s what I meant.
Give me your walkie talkies.
Why?
Because I asked
And Tardmore actually does it.
If Locke Ness didn’t know where Widmore was, but was looking for him, then why did he go looking in the barracks, rather than Hydra island, which was his last known location?
I’d tell you, but there isn’t enough time.
He had just come from being over on Hydra island. Thats why he was in the canoe. I could be wrong though I can get confused easily after watching this shit…..
The writers gave up feeling bad for not even trying to make sense at the beginning of this season. Season 5 they felt bad for not even trying to make sense. Season 4 they tried to make sense (but failed). Season 1-3 they made a little bit of sense.
Yeah also, there was no reason for Zoe and Widmore to be at the barracks.
And again, for emphasis: Zoe made it from the barracks to the beach in 2 minutes.
Hi all
Where do you find spoilers? I want to spoil the finale for myself.
Second, is Claire still alive? I forgot.
Ann – suck a ****.
Don’t know about spoilers. And Claire is still alive unless Darlton decide she’s not important, in which case they will claim she died in the raid/outrigger/the well
I’m sure Claire will die because she’s
A not American and
B, Jacob said to Kate that she was crossed out because she became a mother. This must mean that she must kill the real mother, just like the crazy bitch did with Jacob’s real mom and he thinks that was fine.
Ya what the fuck was with that? “You became a mother”? How about you became a hostage taker. You can’t just steal babies and then be accepted for the divine role of guarding the life/pussy.
Except, stealing babies is actually a preferred point to have in one’s CV if one were to apply to being the new Jacob, as the crazy bitch did just that and, if we are to believe that the Others follow Jacob’s orders (even though he never tells them anything), Jacob also kidnapped kids by extension.
But that doesn’t matter anymore.
So what are we going to do after Sunday?
I think for the weeks after the finale, we’ll be busy quoting the true believer fans trying to defend this indefensible show – probably by using the most inane verbal gymnastics you’ve ever heard.
They might also be coming here to try and pick a fight.
After that, I guess it’s ‘Parting is such a sweet sorrow’.
I’ve got a few ideas for something that might interest people after Lost is over and this site has gone the way of the Dodo. I just need to decide if I feel like taking the time to do it. Being so proactive just doesn’t sound like me.
How is Dr Linus the nicest guy ever when he’s always insisting to be called “Dr” the whole frickin time. I know several doctors whom one properly addresses by their first name, when one is their colleague.
“I didn’t spend 8 years in evil medical school to be called ‘Mr. Evil’”.
I know quite a few people with Doctorates degrees and the only one who EVER insisted on being called Doctor was the Superintendent of a Junior High. It was a big respect thing for him and he was kind of a dick anyway.
The college teachers I know (oddly enough, I have yet to meet a HS teacher with a Doctorate) are usually fine with being called Professor by their students.
The whole b-universe story with Ben is just plain dumb, as are ALL the b-universe stories. There’s no getting around it.
Should that read “Doctoral degrees”? Probably, but who gives a shit.
To be fair, that’s kind of the whole point of that, though, to show how much of a prick he is at his core, and that he still is a petty little man in the alt.
You’re probably right, but I have a hard time staying awake during the b-universe parts (well, harder than is usual for Lost anyway).
Wait by “doctors” I didn’t only mean medical doctors, but scientists of other professions. All professors I know are fine with being adressed either as “Mr Surname”, “Firstname” or even “Nickname”. None make anyone address them as “Professor Surname” let alone “Professor Doctor Surname”.
Civilized Danielle is somehow slightly milftastic, as opposed to island Danielle.
Eh, just another smelly, hairy pitted French lady.
She’s from yugoslavia
How this stereotype came to be is a mystery to me.
Did a wizard do it?
Have you ever been to France?
Yes, have you?
Yes, and like the majority of mainland Europe (including the birthplace of my forbearers, Italy) female shaving and deodorant for all were CLEARLY optional.
I have heard that in the past in Europe only prostitutes shaved their legs, pits, etc. It seems that from a cultural standpoint being a shaved woman can still have that connotation.
You’re clearly lying, as I was born and live here.
I haven’t been there in 20 years, maybe things have changed. Maybe it’s a regional thing, Most of my time there was not spent in major cities. Or, perhaps the women I saw were just freaks.
In any case, I don’t appreciate being called a liar. Nanny nanny boo-boo, stick your head in doo-doo.
Civilized Danielle’s face looked like a broken down version of Liz Hurley. I never noticed this on the island because I was always focused in on her oddly perky nipples.
Another cheap plot device to have a character tell some other character something without us hearing it.
People asked about Bible references, so as an exercise meant to demonstrate how the “theorists” on fan sites cherry-pick tidbits of data in order to make their point, let’s force a square biblical peg into the round hole that is Lost (I’ll let you guess which round hole I refer to).
There is a reference to the Moses story:
- Smokey as moses who wants Jacob-Pharaoh to “let my people (myself) go”.
- In the movie ‘The 10 commandments’, Moses was supposed to be Pharaoh but his desire to be with his own people resulted in him going to exile.
- Hieroglyphs.
- You have women getting pregnant on the island and their babies die – could be related to the 10th plague of Egypt.
- Smokey wants to go to the promised land (leave the island), so he might die before that.
- Moses was denied entry to the promised land because he didn’t speak to the rock but instead hit it in order to get water – so water was the source of Moses Punishment.
- We also have a character named Aaron (but the writers abandoned his story line).
- And the the burning bush is stepma’s hoo-ha (she did look dirty).
And we have the obvious Jacob-Esau reference – but it would have been much better if Smokey were the firstborn, since in the bible Esau was, and was meant to receive Isaac’s blessing but Jacob took it from him.
But the writers would then have lost the very important angle of Smokey being THE MAN WITH NO NAME. (Still, he must have a name, I cannot imagine her not naming him for 13 years, and certainly cannot imagine the people he lived with for 30 years not calling him by some sort of name.)
And I bet we can find something with Cain and Abel, like bashing people’s heads with stones.
See? anyone can do it.
They drop lots of literary, pop-culture and religious/historical references into the show (in academia, it’s known as plagiarism). Most of them are just inconsequential homages, otherwise known as “padding” or “stalling for time.”
It’s one of things that was once endearing about the show that is now just annoying because it’s so obviously irrelevant.
There was a point when we thought the songs and the book references were important.
I think most of us have been there.
Let’s not forget last nights “blood of Christ” moment with Jacob and Jack. As somebody who was raised Roman Catholic I found that particularly hilarious.
Jacob’s judgemental speech about how they all needed to get there? WTF? Out of a flight of 100something people there are now 3 survivors and all those who died “needed the island as much as it needed them”?
Hilarious how the no-names vanished or died after time hiinks purely for plot convince, getting them out of the way so they can have the main cast as the only ones left. I didn’t see Hurley or the rest cry about those poor guys. Jacob is a doucebag for doing that to them and it’s a crying shame they don’t have the balls to address this and make things more complex than jaocb=good smokey=bad
I doubt any of them would want anything to do with this current bullshit anyway.
Ajira dudes who killed them? The writers they didn’t want them around when it comes to leave the island. Cindy’s group are probably gone for good too never to be mentioned again.
The Ajira people were killed by Widmore for the same reason Widmores freighter people randomly killed people: None.
I think Cindy’s group was with Locke Ness during the mortar attack, so they died.
I guess he didn’t really have a change of heat if he did kill those dudes, makes it even worse if he did mortar Cindy and the kids to death, thanks for bringing him to the island Jacob!
The ratio of Didn’t Love it/Loved on the official forum it isn’t as good as last week, but still >1.
More religious BS.
Ya, for a while the Loved it threads were larger (strange)
But we can’t give them too much credit. You have to understand that those people ‘hate’ an episode of lost not b/c it is poorly written, poorly acted, ilogical, nonsensical, wreaks of plot holes… but b/c Jack and Kate aren’t in them, or they don’t hear the Kate theme song…
Indeed, or perhaps also because there is too little focus on the love triangle plot?
I hate that triangle BS. Tits or GTFO
After 5 years, I got banned from the Fuselage an angel’s breath before the last ever episode! And perma banned at that. Proud moment. Happy days.
My crime: apparently being absolutely correct in my prediction for the last scene of the show.
I predicted everyone is at the concert laughing and talking to each other and before anything can happen
BOOM
LOST
ie total nonexplanations forever and ever amen.
Why didn’t Jacob visit the Oceanic survivors on the day they crashed and told them what’s what?
Because ABC is selling commercials on the finale for $900K per 30 second spot, I believe.
It’s that simple.
Ahhh, finally a voice of reason!
WTF they just trust a random stranger (alt Desmondo) and promise him to do something for him? They have no idea wtf he wants. He could want them to murder people or something.
That scene was actually the most believable of the whole episode too!
That scene at the docks reminds me of a scene of the last season of Prison Break in which Jacob was killed.
The county jail will realize the 3 prisoners never arrived eventually.
I guess Ana Lucia will have to shoot herself in the leg and say they escaped. That old trick that never works in real life.
Yes, but the time they find out, Darlton will already have made off with our money
Oh yeah. Except, my monies went to the electricity company, not pay TV.
Mine went to my internet service provider
Mine went there regardless of Lost, so I didn’t count it.
Candiate Ad on CL:
theackattack.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/2my4611.png
This ad is faulty.
It claims that applicants “with disabilities” are in order, without specifying what sorts of disabilities are intended, namely mental ones.
FOUND IN TRASH at the POI POUNDER RESTAURANT: DELETED SCENE
POV: Jack with Jacob bending down to grab a handcupful of fresh mountain stream water…
POV: Jack sipping slowly then drinking it all in, looking up like something tastes funny as seen in the episode.
SLOW PAN: …upstream to MIB Locke laughing like hell while pissing a golden cascade into the water flowing down to the last and final candidate.
That’s way better than the way it actually played out.
Some predictions for the mind bending awesomeness that will be the LOST finale:
The attempt by Jack ‘n Co. to stop the MiB from using Desmond to penetrate and destroy the island’s glowing vagina will somehow lead to Jack’s death in spite of the fact that Jack drank Jacob’s mumbo-jumbo-alla-peanut-butter-sandwiches water. His death will be explained as being the result of some sort of deadly magical discharge from the island’s love cave and will be hailed by the throngs of viewers as “brilliant”, “unexpected”, “amazing”, and “risky”.
MiB will ultimately be destroyed but the true successor to Jacob will actually be Hurley (this is obvious because the writers had him say of Jack’s promotion, “I’m just glad it isn’t me”) who was wise enough to conveniently keep adding kindling to Jacob’s soul fire during the final tribulation.
The final scene will show Hurley alone and sad, sitting by the mystic light hole binge eating a bucket of chicken he somehow teleported in using his new powers. In his dumb adorably naive way he accidentally drops a drumstick into the cave. Hurley screams, “NO DUDE!!!!”, as a whoosh of smoke evacuates the island’s smoldering sacred orifice. The audience is led to think that what may have been created is some monstrous poultry monster of doom, but no, what it in fact turns out to do is produce the best fucking smoked chicken Hurley has ever tasted.
He makes the island the hub of Mr Cluck’s worldwide distribution center and saves the world by giving them the gift of great flavor. This will tie in to an actual KFC promo where you can by special buckets with LOST characters on them.
So there. Now you don’t even have to watch.
Man, the shit you guys come up with is CONSISTENTLY better than the actual show. Thank you!
Yeah Titus is pretty cool, we had drinks at the Pearl Ultra Lounge near Waikiki a few weeks ago. I hope he can catch on to a good show. He’s getting up there in years and I’d like to see him establish himself a bit more. He’s got a great opportunity right now guest starring along side myself. I wish him luck, but this is a tough business.
Sorry please ignore, that was meant for another reply. Still getting used to this iPad.
DOUCHE!
“using Desmond to penetrate and destroy the island’s glowing vagina”
-HAHA
Jacob killed all those people just because he needs someone to guard the island light-vagina. Couldn’t he just tell them from the moment they got there? Why make himself visible at this point in time, while previously he was invisible jerking everyone around.
Because Jacob is an asshole psychopath just like his brother and he gets off fucking with people. They’re in on this bullshit together. It’s all for kicks. This is the only logical explanation, so mark my words, the last shot of the finale will will end with Jacob and MiB/Locke in a freeze-frame high-five after they manipulate Jack into sodomizing both Kate and Sawyer with a brick of C-4, which is similar I believe to what happened on the series finale of Facts of Life.
This may actually redeem the show somewhat, being the best episode of the last 3 seasons.
This show is unsalvageable. At this point, they might as well hire Michael Bay to set up 2 hours of explosions leading to the grand finale which features the island exploding.
The final episode will probably have the rest of them tie Desmond to the end of a large log, and have the log penetrate the light vagina repeatedly. At first they think nothing is happening, but Hurley decides to jump up and down on the light vagina as the log is still going. Suddenly the whole island begins to shake, everyone gets a nosebleed, followed by a bright white light and then everyone else is in a different reality.
Like the scenario. I see them all dropping into the house from Poltergeist covered with goo as the Freelings and that weird little medium bitch look upon them with horrified confusion.
They should totally take that Half Life approach. Carve out some exotic matter and put it in a shopping cart (if you’ve played HL 1, you’ll get the reference) and Have Desmond push it in the vagina. This opens a portal to another dimension. A dimension of POON! The next 2 hours features Desmond et. al. fightin off the poon monster while Jack switches between crying and throwing one of his usual fits
It’s not Half-Life if there are no crowbars.
What they died for:a big video game final boss fight in the finale
Faith Jack is the so boring, I miss the days when was angry about everything and blew up the fucking island, it made him a interesting character now he’s like a boy scout. The brilliant thing about Locke’s faith was his constant struggle with it and moments when it breaks him like after Boone died.
Also remember when this show was morally ambiguous, Jack would like a complete asshole despite being the leader, Locke knifed a girl and blew up a sub to stay on the island,, the treatment of “Henry Gale”, now in the final season the show has become Star Wars instead of being of simply being inspired by it. Jack Skywalker has to fight Darth Smoke to stop him from destroying all the light in the world or some shit.
Every demand made by ghosts except Jacob’s this seasons has resulted in getting people killed, Micheal got Hurley and the gang to join with the MIB and that turned out great! Foreshadowing to a reveal about the true nature of the ghosts or sloppy writing?
After consulting the Ouija board, the Magic 8 Ball, rolling 3d20 and adding a correction for the Loop Current transport of the oil slick, this is what seems likely to happen next:
Locke goes into surgery and everything’s going great, Jack’s going to get him all fixed up so that he can dance a jig at his wedding when all of a sudden there’s a power failure (it seems the guitarist at the Driveshaft concert across the street had his amp turned up to 11). Locke is teetering on the very verge of death and his soul flits back and forth between the island and L.A.
On the island, Jack and his posse engage Lock-MIB-Jingleheimer-Schmidt. Locke looks at them stoically and says: “Why do you have that RPG pointed at my brainstem, Jack?”
“Jacob said that I had to find a way to kill you, otherwise we and all our loved ones will die!” Jack says.
Locke laughs: “Jack, you’re pathetic. You can’t kill me. And didn’t you listen to what Jacob said? You and all your loved ones are going to die anyway. Only now, you’re never going to get to see any of them again.”
Sawyer laughs knowingly. “You gotta admit it was a helluva con, Doc. Say, can I be on your team again, Johnny Crabappleseed?”
“Fuck you, James” Locke says and throws a knife that simultaneously severs Sawyer’s carotid artery and pins Kate’s lips to a tree. “That’s old school.”
Meanwhile, back in LA, Jack has a vision of Locke saying “You can’t kill me, Jack!” and he starts working furiously to save Locke’s life, repeating over and over to himself “I’m not going to let you go, John. I’m not going to let you go, John.”
Desmond walks in and the nurses and other doctors step aside to let him approach Jack. “It’s too late, brutha. John Locke has finally let go. And now you have to let him go.”
“No!” Jack says, “I can do this! I’ve done it before.”
“Da-yum” says one of the nurses. “That John Locke feller can’t catch a break. His daddy stole his kidney and pushed him out a window, Ben Linus shot him,
Ben Linus hanged him, he crashed a plane and paralyzed himself again, that Desmond feller ran him over, and now, to top it all off, the power goes off during surgery. Ain’t THAT a bitch!”
Back on the island, Jack insists that he can kill Locke, because he’s done it before. At that moment, a dead Locke appears to Hurley. “Dudes, you’re not going to believe this….” The dead Locke tells Hurley that he has to stop Jack, because if he fires that grenade then they’ll never get off the island, and they have to get off the island before they can come back to the island. “Dudes, can’t you just slow it down. There’s like another Locke here now, and he says that–”
“Fuck you, Hugo” Locke says and fires a single round from his rifle at Hurley. It lodges harmlessly somewhere between the second and third foot of belly fat, but the sight of his own blood is too much and Hurley faints.
“Just you and me now, Jack,” Locke says.
INTERMISSION, during which Lindyhop and Cuse explain the key to Locke’s character, “get it? key? key to LOCKE? Holy Shit we’re smart, people! And don’t even get us started on Jack Shepard, who is leading his flock to the Locke. Oh, and Locke is also Loch, which is Loch Ness, which is in Scotland, which is where Desmond is from. And Desmond Tutu was a bishop from Africa, just like Mr Eko’s brother, and you know of course that Jacob had a twin brother….
fantastic
That’s not how it’s gonna end. I’ve already shot the episode. Good try though. I’ll give you guys a hint for the finale:
Black marbles. Damon would kill me if he knew I just said that.
You’re gonna realize soon I’m really Matt Fox. LOL
Well thats a hell of a clue dude. Jackass(just in case you are who you say you are thats what some of us (me) call you around here) Jackass step on black marbles, Jackass fall down. Great clue…..
That was great!
I’m not worthy
First things first, last weeks thread I forgot to mention how much of an outstanding actor that Titus Welliver is. Man now that dude can act. Not just anybody can do a scene like he did after he woke from his evil step mother’s head crunching, When he found his game and held it over his head, with that mean assed look. I don’t think that there are to many that could hold it like he did without breaking down, rolling on the ground laughing your ass off. He has my vote for best supporting actor anytime. With that being said, this episode was just about as fucking stupid as it gets. Now its been mentioned numerous times in the past about the background music. It usually grates on my nerves especially when it’s all suspenseful sounding and there aint shit going on. I always think, what is up with this music. Well I don’t know if the old lady had the volume up a notch or two higher then usual or what, but that fucking music was driving me crazy for some reason. The whole episode!!! I mean usually it’s a spot here or there, but this was different. I don’t know, maybe my connect’s shit was a little more bunk then usual. I can’t put my finger on it. This is the first time i ever said something to the old lady about it and even she said it was a little more annoying. I can’t trust her though because sometimes she just says things because she thinks thats what I want to hear. Now the Richard scene went by pretty fast for me, but it looked like ole smoke on the water gave him a pretty heafty shot. Looked right to the throat type shot. I didn’t see him get baby Chang though, or did I miss that? I did really like the closet scene and Locke telling Ben that he didn’t want to see this and Ben sayin that he sure the hell did. Then him slitting ole whats her names throat, now that was pretty cool. “Bitch when I say shut the fuck up I mean it!!!” Ya don’t fuck with the Smokeness Lockster, let me tell you what. Just what the fuck was Skidmore’s problem about Bugeye hearing what he had to say? I would have shot that fucker too. BLAM BLAM BLAM “Let’s see who’s whispering in the wind now motherfucker!” How come that well that Dezzylu Who was in looks different every time we look down into it? Or is that just me? I bet old Ben is having some great thoughts going through his head. If Locke has his way then good bye island. Aint gonna be much runnin if there aint no island to run…..
Yeah Titus is pretty cool, we had drinks at the Pearl Ultra Lounge near Waikiki a few weeks ago. I really hope he can catch on to a good show. He’s getting up there in years and I’d like to see him establish himself a bit more. He’s got a great opportunity right now guest starring along side myself. I wish him luck, but this is a tough business.
He is getting up there in years? Come on now I am a month older then he is. So no matter what he still has a ways to go. Not only that he don’t need no toupee like some others do…..
I love the gay plot device the Lost writers always use. Having the characters ask questions about glaring plot holes just so the person answering can attempt to explain the plot hole. The device is intended to make us believe that the writers know “get it”, even though we here at Whylostsucks.com know better:
Ben: “Say there Smoke, why don’t you just fly around the island instead of walking, it’d be much easier?”
Smoke: “I like to feel the ground on my feet, makes me feel human.”
Assholes.
I don’t know if that’s better or worse
tv rtopes: hanging a lampshade on it.
Titus Welliver was amazing. I can imagine when the director was instructing Welliver in any scene:
Director: “OK Titus, in this scene, your brother has completely skuttled the show. You have to salvage it by acting your heart out!
Titus: “I’m on it”
Director 2: “Titus, we just had a really bad episode with Richard, we need you fix it. Can you fix it?”
Titus: “No problemo”
Director 3: “Titus, we just realized the series finale is shit. Can we just string together random scenes of you in Deadwood.”
Titus: *Nods head, Waves hand instructing Directors to leave*
Did Locke Ness throw something into the well when he and Desmond went there?
Also, when Sayid visited Desmond, there was a little puddle of water at the bottom. When they went to the well in the last ep, you couldnt see the floor at all.
Next episode there will be a drum set down there.
Did Locke Ness throw something into the well when he and Desmond went there?
———————————————————————————–
Hell yeah, he threw Dezzylu Who’s ass down in it…..
No I mean did he throw a pebble down there to estimate how deep it is?
i was really hoping to see Desmond run Locke over again with his car, and then see a plastic dummy go flying across the screen.
HAHAHA…that would have been sweet! I sometimes wish they’d just let this thing be the cartoon it so obviously has become Then Desmond could run over him, back over him, run over him again and speed away. And then the marching band could come along and stomp him down. Then the steamroller. Then the piano could fall on him. Then an anvil could smash through the piano. And then, just like that, he’s back good as new in the next scene.
You forgot the elephants
Yes, you’re right, we need elephants! Elephants carrying Hurley and the clientele of Mr Cluck’s. That’d squish him down right and good.
Theres nothing quite like seeing a douche-bag substitute teacher in a wheel chair get run down by a car in the school parking lot. I bet the students cheered when they saw that. As a get-well present the school should present Locke with a checkered flag.
WOW!!! Now that had me laughing hard…..
LOL That would be so mean. Just attach a checkered flag to his wheel chair without telling him.
On the island.
Hurley: Dudes, we don’t really need to worry about all the crap that’s going on here, you know, everyone dying and everything. I have a feeling that there’s, like, some other, like, alt-verse thing going on. I bet, like, there’s an alt-verse me, and, like, an alt-verse you, and, like, an alt-verse everybody, and all of the alt-verse versions of us are going to, like, you know, figure out some way to work this all out for us.
As long as there are alt-verse twinkies Hurley doesn’t give a shit who gets killed.
At the benefit concert in alt-verse.
Desmond has assembled all of the passengers from flight 815 plus all the Others, the remaining Dharma Initiative people, the real Henry Gale, the dude from the hatch that Des accidentally killed, Widmore and his original science crew plus mercenary force and his current science crew and paramilitary folks. All peacefully listen to a calm orchestral cover of an Enya song.
When the number comes to an end, Desmond winks, smiles, and nods at the conductor. The old man nods, winks back, and raises his wand. All is quiet. When the the music kicks in, it’s that farting tuba strain that is always played at the onset of island violence. At that moment, everyone’s memory of the island is jarred. Instead of embracing , with thankful hearts, the notion that they are all free of that island reality, which was Des’s plan, the whole lot of them latch onto all the petty rage they felt towards one another in that other reality. Hundreds of guns cock simultaneously. Bullets fly in all directions. Blood and brains everywhere.
“Not how I planned this,” Desmond says as he grips Penny’s bloody corpse in his arms. He takes a bullet between the eyes. Camera fades to red.
Bravo.
I noticed last night, though, that when people actually get shot on the show (Widmore) there’s no *gun cock*, just guns-a-blazin’.
Did you notice the two gun cock special last night. Linus and Eyeliner cock their guns at Tina Fey. Then Skidmore walks in. Linus and Eyeliner wheel around while simultaneously cocking their guns again!
For those of you unfamiliar with this move it is referred to as the “cockspin.” Not to be confused with the term “cock spin” which is merely the act of spinning ones penis in consecutive circles, without the aid of hands or other appendages.
Ummm, OK, I did notice the two cock spin, with the guns anyway…..
speechless…
That would be kick ass! Like when the violence starts, switch over to the platoon song. They all turn on Desmond. He’s running away. Gets shot. Falls down and does the Willam Dafoe death scene
You mean the numberS come to an end.
When Jacob and Jack had the creepy immortalization ceremony i was expecting Jacob to say, “this is my body, broken for you.” Or for them to kiss. Was surprised neither of those things happened.
There is plenty of time before the fire burns out for a little Jack on Jacob love.
Interview with D & C:
You’ve said many times that when people find out who Adam and Eve are, we’ll all realize just how long you’ve been planning the mythology. Well, I went back and watched the “House of the Rising Sun” scene, and Jack says that the clothing looks like it’s 50 years old. Is he just not very good at calculating the rate of decay on fabric?
CC: Jack is not really an expert in carbon dating.
DL: He’s not really a forensic anthropologist. We need to bring in Bones.
CC: Or Charlotte. She’s an anthropolgist.
DL: The other theory that I would like to throw out there is that Jacob and his mother were just expert craftsmen. They made those clothes on that loom so well, it would appear that they were only 50 years old in decomposition, when in fact it’s several thousand.
CC: Or perhaps the fabric is magic. A lot of theories there….
This is what was written on the back of my cereal box, I eat FAIL FLAKES in the morning. News at 11.
Those assholes can’t surpass George Lucas but they sure as hell are trying with this snarky horseshit, The sad thing is that they joke about magic being the expiation when they have crapped that answer out repeatably this season, also their use of these lines “your not ready to know” “it will only bring more questions” all over this season are pure masturbation for them. It’s not even masturbation when someone brings up rules because it makes them orgasm immediately.
My final straw at the show for when they pretty much took a big steamer all over one of the biggest and first mysteries of the show, Jack’s Dad, nice plan D and C you sure showed how you had that one planned all along seeing as how he appears to Locke in that form hundreds of years before he first takes it, that was in the last season you have no excuse oh but I’m sure time travel light holes was the reason. Ever since that I’ve seen every bring reveal as lame uniform answers designed to explain everything as being smoke monster or magic light mcguffin, do we even want Walt in the finale all we will just get will be a throwaway line about the line making them the way he is?
Good catch on the Christian time paradox. When he appeared to Locke in the well it was long ago. Of course, Darlton will claim that we are no experts on well deterioration, and we don’t know how long ago it was…
I think the correct answer is “magic”…
Killing Faraday was a bad move, he would explain all this with some sweet math.
Probably why they killed him.
This show jumped the shark for me when it became obvious that time travel was a big part of the mystery. I don’t have anything against TT in general, but the freedom it gives writers is such that very few are able to reign themselves in and avoid thinking “if we have inconsistencies in timelines, plot points, etc. we can just explain it with time travel.” That’s what they’ve been doing ever since, and what we have now is basically a senseless hodgepodge of history, philosophy, religion, science and soap opera. It’s like a kid who decides he wants to make a cake and dumps everything he can find in the kitchen into the bowl. The recipe would look very complicated and “sophisticated” to someone with only a superficial interest in cakes, but the end result would taste like shit. Me, I like simple recipes that don’t taste like shit, but what do I know.
But hey, at least we have the possibility of gobs and gobs of senseless violence to look forward to in the finale!
If all you guys and gals hate the show so much why obsess over it? You seem to know it as well as most of the fans!
We’re all retards. Kind of like a battered wife, we just can’t bring our selves to leave
Our your local priests favorite altar-boy
Yes Joey, we know the show very well. As well as the “fans?” I don’t know. You are talking about a pretty fucked up group there…
Most of us, if I may, are very much in tune as to the rapid decay and extreme retardedness of this crapped-up extravaganza. It’s been a steady progression. I’m not sure if “obsess” is the best phrase. It’s just so much darn fun to make fun of. It’s one big Mad Magazine parody that everyone can join in on. The show became so bad in every way, that it makes it very easy to fuck with.
In addition, most of the “fans” should be hitting that wall by now… The realization of no real answers to any of the “mysteries” – ever! More questions all the way up to the very end… more characters, more magic, more monsters, more gun cocks, more donkey wheels, more holes, more others, more stares, more music, more more more. Not one logical explanation for the multitude of questions, clues, hints, etc., they planted over the past 120 or so episodes. It was all a big worthless waste of time over six years of our lives. All we can do now – is have some fun with it. I hope this helps…
If you love the show so much, why don’t you marry it? HUH?
Many of were fans nitwit. And we wasted precious hours of our lives which we’ll never get back. So if bitching about it, laughing about and slamming the hell out of this so-called-show makes us feel better so be it.
It’s a hell of a lot more enjoyable than reading
idiot posts on fan sites.
Now scram…
Fan sites are the worst. They’re grass roots movement propaganda.
OK, this dude wants us to believe he is Matthew Fox. Well there is a way of finding out the truth. As any of us who have been around for any length of time on this site, that being an imposter is a very easy thing to do. It happens quite frequently, aint that right Matt. (addressing the Matt of this site who we love dearly and is being trolled by an imposter as of late) Hell I could say I am Tom Selleck, and who would be the wiser except me. Just for the record I am not, because I am younger and much better looking. Dammit thats not funny!!! Cutting to the chase here. We at WLS have our Hawaiian resident who we know and love as mr monkey. (could be Tom Selleck, who knows) The point is, mr monkey stated up thread that he had walked by Matthew Fox’s little chateau there in Hawaii. So what needs to be done to clear this up is to have said, Matthew Fox give us the name of the street this house is on and mr monkey can varify the answer for us. Now not the number of the house because that is asking a bit to much, but at least the street name and then maybe only maybe could we start to believe this person is who he says he is. Thats a plan anyways and it may untangle the mystery we have before us. Hmmm could be like LO$T though and we will never get an answer…..
Actually, that was me, not mr monkey.
On a serious note though Matty Boy, I am in your former neighborhood a lot! In fact, let’s just say I am real familiar with it…
So yeah, ya wanna give a street name? I know the layout of that area of Kailua real well.
And on an even more serious note, if this is a former crew member…or even…a cast member of the show impersonating MF…I think you better knock it off man.
Well, Ummm, sorry about the mix up there!!! I really doubt this dipshit will give us an answer. If he was the real one he would have answered right off the bat. That information is not easily obtainable, but with enough research you could find it out. He has been here again today and could have easily answered the question. So in my mind the time for answers is over and he was just another fly by night imposter. Oh yeah by the way we think your great too and thanks for backing me on this one…..
I think this show is responsible for my huge infected haemorrhoids and piles that have plagued me since I was 7.
By siome guy named Doc Jenson
Jack is in the Flash Sideways (FSW) with that big headed kid of his. Jack’s neck is still bleeding. I’m no doctor but a cut that you don’t know how you got , won’t heal, and has been bleeding for days should probably be looked it by a doctor.
Jack sews up Kate’s shoulder. Kate reminds us that Jin and Sun left behind a young daughter. If only one of them would have been able to live to care for her.
Desmond throws Ben on the hood of his car. Ben asks Desmond who he is. Desmond says, “You want to know who I am?” and promptly begins punching Ben in the face which of course gives Ben flashbacks that help him remember who Desmond is. All of the school kids that just got off the bus ignore this. No one notices. No one yells for help. No one takes pictures or video with their cell phones and posts it on Youtube.
Ben, Richard, and Miles are still bumbling through the jungle to get C4 to blow up the plane that doesn’t need blowing up because it has a big hole in the windshield. If this little plot line that has partially driven season six bugs you, please ignore it like past ridiculously contrived plot lines that drove entire seasons. This is the kind of thing you have to do to love Lost.
Alex is buried in the middle of Dharma village by a picket fence in an unmarked grave next to the family hamster.
Ben says he was told he could summon the Monster before he realized it was the Monster who was summoning him. Who told him about the secret place to summon the monster? Forget that. I wonder who Kate is going to end up with.
The boys decide to take all of the C4 to blow up the un-flyable plane because a bunch of C4 is needed for a future plot line.
Tina Fake is hiding in the kitchen heating up some Hot Pockets. Widmore just so happens to be there too. Don’t ask why just ignore this contrived nonsense.
Ben asks Widmore how he got back to the island. Widmore says, “Jacob invited me”. Widmore was sent an Evite? Widmore says that Jacob visited him and actually says the line, “he convinced me of the error of my ways”. Yes, Widmore has seen the error of his cold blooded evil ways. Widmore also claims Jacob told him everything he needed to know. So Widmore is actually helping Jacob? This seems important. Which means it probably isn’t. I’ve finally got you figured out Lost.
Locke is on his way to Dharma village because… well, everyone else is there and he’s jonesing for a Hot Pocket. Being a Smoke Monster, he doesn’t have to eat a Hot Pocket but he does like the feel of his mouth on hot processed cheese.
In the FSW: Desmond gets himself thrown into jail with Sayid and Kate. His incredibly intricate plan to do something somehow is working perfectly.
Little ghost Jacob appears to Hurley and asks for the Ashes that for some reason Hurley took from Ilana. Casper takes the ashes and runs. Hurley follows Casper and finds Jacob who has put the ashes into a camp fire and says when it burns out Hurley will never see him again. Don’t ask why Casper appeared to Hurley, don’t ask why Jacob is dead but still pops up to help out, and you certainly don’t want to ask how Jacob knows about this whole ash burning thing. Don’t let any of this nonsense burn your ash and ruin the show for you. Enjoy the ride.
Back at Dharma village, Widmore and Tina Fake hide in Ben’s secret closet, Miles decides he’s going to make a break for it, Ben decides to chill, and silly Richard decides to have a chat with the Smoke Monster. Big mistake Dicky. Richard takes a big smoke sucker punch to the gut and goes flying out of frame Wile E. Coyote-style. At least it wasn’t a bomb or gun.
Locke emerges and asks Ben where Widmore is. Little does he know but Widmore is hiding in a little room right behind him. In The Candidate, some fans suggested Locke had psychic powers. It helped them justify Locke’s silly bomb plot where he just so happened to know that Jack would get on the sub and our silly idiots would find the bomb in Jack’s backpack and try to disable it while the timer was counting down. Anyway, Locke’s psychic mojo isn’t working and he can’t find Widmore. Luckily Ben is not redeemed anymore and says that Widmore in the closet. Make your own joke.
In the FSW: Alex is back. How do you make a woman look like a young girl? Put her in pig-tails of course. Finally we get a Danielle cameo. Alex asks if Ben can come over for dinner. Danielle insists and says, “Even if we have to kidnap you.” Cue the rim shot.
Here comes another one of those ridiculous scenes you have to ignore if you want to think Lost is great. Locke finds Widmore and Hot Pockets. Locke asks Hot Pockets who she is. There’s a pause during which Widmore says nothing and then Hot Pockets says, “Zoe. My name is Zoe” – and her neck is promptly slashed by Locke as Widmore decides to pipe up and tell her not to speak to him… after she’s already spoken to him. To further muddy the already muddy waters, Widmore asks Locke why he did that. Locke says, “You told her not to talk to me. That made her pointless.” Hmmm, but she actually did talk to you and conveniently wasn’t told not to talk after she already had talked. If only poor Hot Pockets, who seemed to be important to Widmore, was told about all of the “don’t talk to the Smoke Monster” business on the sub ride to the island. So, what is all this don’t talk to the Smoke Monster first crap? Well, I think Kate should pick Jack. Every gal wants to marry a doctor… but Sawyer sure is dreamy. What will you do Kate? What will you do?
Meanwhile, back in the closet Locke says he won’t kill Penny if Widmore tells him why he came back. Widmore says, I brought Desmond Hume back here because if his unique resistance to electromagnetism. He was a measure of last resort.” Locke asks what Widmore means by last resort. Apparently Locke saw “Happily Ever After” and heard Widmore say to Jin, “That man is the only person that I’m aware of in the world who has survived a catastrophic electromagnetic event. I need to know that he can do it again. Or we all die.” Desmond sure seemed to be the key to saving the world back then. Now he’s just a last resort. I know what you’re thinking. What was the first resort? Well, Widmore says he’s not saying any more in front of Ben. Ben turns away and Locke tells Widmore to whisper to him. Continue reading when you are done laughing…. Sure, Locke could tell Ben to go outside but then the audience could hear what Widmore says. Widmore whispers to Locke for 3 seconds, yes I counted, and he is shot by Ben. Oh, you thought Ben couldn’t kill Widmore? Well, that was back when they needed Ben to not be able to kill Widmore. Rules schmules. Locke says it’s OK that Ben killed Widmore because in 3 seconds he was able to tell him what he needed to know. Awesome. Now we can move on to even more ridiculous crap.
Yes, and then we can breathe a collective sigh of relief. Like after taking a very satisfying crap. Flush it and “poof” it’s gone! Pretty amazing if you think about. No, not Lost, modern sanitation, of course!
At least you got to see the “Smoke Monster” again…
Oh shit I just realized something that shits all over Widmore having to tell Locke, he’s the fucking Smoke Monster lord of the dead, he can learn everything Widmore knows just by reading it off his soul or whatever the hell he did with John and Eko’s brother. It’s even vaguely hinted he can do this with the living since he appeared to Richard as his wife after starring him down in the black rock. Sawyer and Ben should never have a chance tricking him if he is actually able to read the minds of the living..
Must be another one of those rules…
“Special!”
Thorough and excellent dissection! That whole business with the plane is ridiculous even by LOST standards. A commercial jet needs at least a mile of level, hard surface to get up to the 140 mph or so needed to take off. Unless there’s a magic runway on the island somewhere, about the only thing that plane is good for is a creepy camp-out.
I hate to do this but I’m an asshole that way. Whats a siome guy? I don’t think that makes him gay but then again ya never know…..
HAHA, perfectly capture’s Jack’s action by getting them on the sub
Jack “saved” them, ie, condemned four of them to death
I am watching it in super fast mode and it is so much better. The plot moves at a regular pace if you play at 3x. Also, everyone sounds like a chipmunk. The suspense scenes are a lot like Bollywood. The only drawback is that every once in a while it hangs at the most inopportune times, like a close up of Kate’s leather-face, or Jack’s son gets stuck in this head jiggle motion.
I tried having the speed, but the plot still feels to drag along at the same incredibly slow pace
Some video players keep the pitch of the voice, so the voices sound normal just faster;
Hurley’s boobs bouncing around at 3x speed would be awesome. I’d just put that on loop and call it a day.
With the benny hill theme song.
Bullshit! The Fuselage mods are starting to delete posts en masse in the “Didn’t Like It” thread. I had posted a link to the NY Press article with some of my opinions on the episode and it was removed, as were 15 other comments. Guess they can’t take that it’s replies are double that of the “Liked It” thread. Someone even criticized Darlton and the mod edited it.
Someone mentioned how posts are being removed. Now his post has been removed.
yeah the mods use the loophole: they get to delete posts even if they’re 100% negative if they’re not 100% about the single episode. what i would do is a start a negative thread under the main season 6 heading and not under a specific episode.
Smart. I didn’t know that.
How come they didn’t seem to delete as many in last week’s thread?
probably cause the mods agreed
They want people who are still in love with the show but just didn’t like the “episode”.
Remember how they make their money…They are a “fan site” after all.
I bet it hurts them inside to see so many people hate the show and Darlton so much now. They delete posts that are negative but have nothing to do with the episode, but would leave positive ones if they had nothing to do with the episode.
Right. Funny thing is though that some of them mods even post some pretty rank shit sometimes…..
pretty much
And now it’s time for one last appearance by my favorite insane TV critic, USA Today’s Robert Bianco:
“[Lost is] one of TV’s greatest series–at any time, of any genre, on any platform. It represents the best of what broadcast television and popular entertainment can be.”
“No show this decade has made better use of its bigger-than-basic-cable budgets while maintaining an artistic integrity and intelligence that would make any other outlet proud.”
“How many shows ever require thought, let alone encourage it? Lindelof and Cuse proved that it’s possible to [keep an audience enthralled] without sacrificing quality.”
Well that’s nice Robert, but tell us how you really feel…
“For six glorious years, the producers have given us a show that was seldom what it seemed and most often better than we could have imagined.”
“Like few series before or since, Lost rewarded and inspired obsessive viewing, but never required it. And unlike many ‘cult’ sci-fi shows, it never felt ponderous or self-important. Indeed, Lost is one of those rare series where the fans can come across as more pretentious than the producers.”
“What makes Lost a great series [is that it's] a mythological/spiritual battle between good and evil built upon the rock-solid foundation of an ideally cast, beautifully explored character drama.”
Uh-huh. Any final thoughts?
“From start to finish, Lost was exciting without being stupid.”
So there you have it. Lost is obviously the most brilliant, most profound, and most thought-provoking artistic creation of all time. Move over, Sistine Chapel. Stand aside, Jupiter Symphony. There’s a bright new star on the horizon, and its name is Lost. Those of us who criticize are just ants in the afterbirth who are too dumb and/or pretentious and/or unenlightened to be constantly “enthralled” by a show whose quality NEVER diminished and whose producers we are not fit to gaze upon directly. We should all be ashamed of ourselves.
Oh, and Robert? If you’re reading this, you might want to get yourself checked out for Hepatitis C. I understand you can get it by swirling your tongue around a couple of dudes’ assholes.
It really is like the Emperor’s New Clothes. People have invested six years into this crap, and they can’t bring themselves to admit they’ve been conned.
Correct – It’s rationalization, denial, and stupidity.
That paid-for shill, fucking moron, should be hospitalized with Hurley.
…and the writers.
I was speaking about Jack’s son, thank you.
how much did they pay this guy? $100,000,000?
Critics are like rating agencies.
Wait a minute here, is this goofball for real? I think he must be watching a different show then I have been watching. I don’t think a lobotomy would even help this poor fucker out. Poor bastard needs to hanged by the neck untill death and then the body be incinerated immediately so none of this disease can be spread…..
What do you expect from another paid ass-kisser, er I mean “critic”.
I think it works like this. First the producers go to a distinguished critic, lets call him Nico Toscani. Then they tell Nico to write a review about a show he has never seen, lets call it LAST. Then they give him $10, plus another $50,000 if the review is ‘good’
Goddammit Nico, don’t take the money dude!!! LA$T sucks and you know it. Just tell it like it is dude…..
Damn! My day job has been revealed.
what happened to alternate-smokie, alternate-jacob and alternate-alpert?
they can’t die, that’s the rulez. The alternate-bomb destroyed the island, as seen in Season 6, episode 1, scene 1. Are they all underwater?
The light hole was presumably destroyed as well, proving nothing actually happens then.
There could be a spin off series to (not) answer these questions called Lost: blub. All the events would take place under the sea. There could be some cross over episodes with SpongeBob SquarePants. I would watch that show.
episode 1, alternate-smokie-lock (in cartoon form) goes into the Krusty Krab. He demands service or he will reveal the secret formula.
The mention of a spin-off just made made me wonder: what is the future of the LOST? Clearly, like a psycho in a horror movie, nothing can kill it. But what exactly will happen? Will Josh Holloway take time out from his next gig modeling for the covers of romance novels to write fan fiction? Will there (gasp) be movies a la X-Files? Will George Lucas and the LOST brigade collaborate on episodes 0.0, 0.33 and 0.66, which tells the story of how Anakin’s great-great-grandparts were Rose and Bernard, and how their descendants had to endure years of hardship on a hopping island until, at last, it hopped into outer space and went into orbit around George Lucas’ and J.J Abrams’ egos.
They have several seasons of contradictions and unknowns. Quite a bit of material.
Such as, what do the numbers mean and why were they selected for the hatch?
What happens when the compass, passed from time loop to time loop finally wears out?
Do we ever get to meet and see what motivated Alvar Hanso and the DeGroot’s to start the Dharma initiative, what was it to accomplish?
Just to name a few of the more popular want-to-knows there probably won’t be time for anymore.
I am praying that there won’t be a spin-off. But if they do I was thinking more like a Saturday morning cartoon show. Dick Dastardly could play the part of smokie. Vincent (the dog) could play Mutley who would snicker every time smokies plans were dashed.
hxxp://blog.zap2it.com/frominsidethebox/2010/05/lost-top-10-finale-spoilers-on-letterman—-betty-white.html
Hey, does anyone know if there’s a list of all the plot holes and contradictions that this show has kicked off? I realize it’s got to be about 20 pages, but still.
Here
hxxp://lostpedia.wikia.com/wiki/Bloopers_and_continuity_errors
But they mention things like “When Charlie and Hurley are digging Ethan’s grave, the body of Ethan is seen slowly breathing.” when it should have said “In the scene where Jacob describes why he brought them to the island, he contradicted almost everything in seasons 1-5
i can’t wait until the “Driveshaft” concert on Sunday’s finale. you know that’s where Desmond and Kate are going. desmond is so damn hot, the thought of him makes my pussy start throbbing!
Actually me this time.
haha nice
that Penny is one lucky whitmore!
I wonder if Fanny Fairygay is gonna be jammin with them. Now “he” rocks, bigtime…..
Did you guy ever watch the little recap, Lost Untangled, produced by ABC? I think its very ironic because the recap self explain Why Lost Sucks! 41 minutes of content to be summarized into 3 mins and u can still understand the progress of the show!! That proves the episodes are full of filler.
When I first watch the official S1-S5 recap in 8min15sec. I thought it was made by people who wanna tease how stupid the show is. It turns out that, ABC are teasing themselve.
h$$p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3zvM0EzT7c
Why can’t we write H T T P?
Is this sort of like “the rules”?Sorry that was really gay.I love this one:
-Kate freaks out
-Jack consoles her
-they kiss
-Kate freaks out again
-Jack is confused.
HOLY SHIT, I think the narrator is reading the script!
Mr friendly throws like a girl.
You know what would be awesome for the finale: If they tried to cram as many contradictions in it as possible, as a final “fuck you!” to all the fans. Every piece of dialog and every action should contradict something that happened previously.
It’s going to be a 90-minutes episode, right?
The first 40 minutes should contradict everything that hasn’t been contradicted yet from the first 5 seasons, the middle 30 minutes should contradict everything from this season that hasn’t been contradicted yet and the final 20 minutes should contradict everything that happened in the episode.
Why not, they’ve already broken the fourth wall with these unsubtle every-question-will-lead-to-another-question jabs
Might as well have the show end the way it lived.
Ha….their last shot at being consistent would be to make the show 100% inconsistent!
That would be EPIC as the kids say.
What do you mean they should do that? That’s exactly what they’re doing now.
No it’s not. They just contradict previously established facts whenever it’s convenient to do so.
What I propose is that they actually make an effort to systematically have as many contradictions as possible.
What? Did they change it again? I thought it was gonna be 2 1/2 hours long. I know that things are different over there but here in the U.S.A. thats 150 minutes. Or it used to be anyway…..
150 minutes with or without commercial breaks (which I don’t get)?
Assuming one quarter of this will be commercial breaks, it’s still going to be 112 minutes and 30 seconds
Wait just a dog gone minute here. Now 90 plus 60 minus 1/4 of the total of the square root of a triangle timed pi while x equals n and the sun sets tomorrow at- OK I got it the answer is 3. So there ya go…..
- Once a guy told him that a bridge is going to be built on that place, and then sold it to him.
- He has the song ‘Ebony and Ivory’ played nonstop in his house.
- Doesn’t have a bookshelf – his books are hidden all over his house.
- His walls are covered with star charts, astrological signs, and numbers.
- His meatballs are made of 0.1% meat and 99.9% filler.
- Worked a short time for 411 but refused to answer any question since “that will only lead to other questions”.
- Once almost died after being shot, spending precious time trying to decipher the bloodstain on his shirt, thinking it’s a Rorschach test.
He is a Lost fan, the most ridiculous fan in the world.
“I don’t always drink kool aid, but when I do, I prefer JJ’s”
“Stay thirsty my friends”
Somebody say my name?
Not in the last 15 minutes, I don’t think.
o.k. who called his name 5 times and while looking in the mirror? huh?
How many times did I tell you not to do that? How many times did I tell you that if you do that Fox will appear and bore us to death?
Candyman, haha. That’s the movie you’re referring to. Yeah that brings back memories. That was actually the year I met my wife Margherita. We actually went and saw that movie in some rundown theatre in NYC back in the day. That was right before I got my first big break around 93’ working on a CBS special. That really brings back memories. Who knew I’d be way bigger than anyone in that movie. Boy what a crazy world.
I’m predicting your death in the finale, I just hope it’s at least funny or somewhat satisfying. No offense.
I can’t believe how completely accurate that comment actually was…..
Say my name, say my name
If no one is around you, say “baby I love you”
If you ain’t runnin’ game
Say my name, say my name
You actin’ kinda shady
Ain’t callin me baby
Why the sudden change?
Chut up.
Go back to Korea, bitch.
LOL!
Pwned
I thought this particular thread was about me? Bai Ling isn’t from Korea, but she’s very good with cooking many different traditional asian dishes from all over the spectrum, or so she told me back in Waikiki.
Bai Ling wishes she was as cool as Cherita Chen.
Cherita Chen? Never heard of her.
Look, they handed me a script and said Bai Ling was going to be the asian woman I’d be working with. She talked a lot about her cooking in-between scenes (Always bragging about some Thai Noodle dish she loves). She was a very cool woman. I got to make out with her which is one of the perks of stardom LOL, but seriously no need to bash her. You’d like her in real life, she’s really down to earth like me.
Bai Ling has perky nips. Just sayin’…
LiveLinks has begun showing the Evangeline Lilly spots again that she made many years ago. Man, she’s got to be horrified…
I saw that too. She’s probably more horrified by how much she’s aged than over the quality of the commercials.
Bingo!
I didn’t want to know her name. Curse you! How can I go to an alt-universe where I never learned her name??
I wonder if the big concert scene during the finale will be an all-singing-all-dancing musical number reminiscent of the “Shake It Up Baby” scene from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
Sun, Kate, and Claire will be doing the monkey behind Jack, Desmond, Sawyer, and Ben as they belt out their version of “The Sisters (Are Doin’ It For Themselves)”. Locke will roll up unstage and spin his wheelchair around, popping wheelies to the beat.
Then, as the music reaches it’s final crecendo, all the cast members will gather around the mike to sing the final line, “doin’ it for….” but then the music will stop. Claire will grab her belly. Suddenly, Aaron drops out on the stage and completes the last line in a cute little kid voice, “…demseweves…”
The cast will all laugh good-naturedly, and shuffle off the stage in unison while waving to the crowd. “Good bye. Good Night. Auf Weidersehn. So long.”
I hope the ending is not as gay as Mission impossible 3 with Jack and Kate back at the Darma Initiative on the main land and they turn around and the whole team cheers them on as the walk away. Then the credits roll.
Jackass and Kate get jobs at the Hanso foundation… plot thickens – think about it. ah, no.
Sarah Silverman interviewing Darlton.
funnyordie.com/videos/f7077c6426/get-lost-with-sarah-silverman?rel=player
I posted comments a while back on a few sites suggesting that the best way to experience Lost was to view it on Fast-Forward while playing Benny Hill music.
Looks like she read them…
That makes me feel better about the show, the fact that she said most of what I would say to them…and she can because she’s famous.
Yeah!
I wonder if there are other places on the internet that compared the tunnel of light to poonanny.
It would have been funnier if Darlton weren’t actually in on the joke. It seemed like just another excuse for them to laugh in people’s faces about how dumb they are for watching. Plus, Sarah looks BEAT, which is just sad.
So true…
I never realized how creepy Cuse is. He reminds me of Jame Gumb. “It puts the lotion in the basket or it gets the hose again”.
He’s freaky. Child molester freaky.
His face reminds me of the Burger King Guy mask.
Wow, now I’m REALLY scared. I HATE that BK King mask dude. He is more terrifying than a clown.
I love clowns!!! They are one of the most enjoyable things in life…..
I love the fart noise.
That was the best part by far. Especially since it was a nice sputtery, squeaker.
I’m going to go back and take of my, legally purchased, copies of LOST and superimpose the fart sound on all the BOOM-LOST endings, then watch each episode in anticipation
BOOM
FART
Damn dude you are almost as twisted as I am…..
Here is the most objective thing I can say about LOST at this point. Writing anything compelling is hard work, especially writing a serialized TV show whose parameters can often be in flux and where pressures to produce an engaging narrative each season would easily demand pushing the suspension of disbelief into the red. Pretty much every long running show with a fantastic premise has suffered from these things. It is par for the course.
But what is unforgivable isn’t that the whole thing refuses to tie together as a seamless masterwork. It is the sophomoric, really middle-school level, way in which they have decided to buttress their mythology. And it is so strikingly bizarre because, despite all the jokes and vitriol on this board, the writers could be really fucking inventive. LOST was one of the most inventive shows on television, its iconography, its story structures, and while I know invention in no way equals coherence there is no excuse for allowing it to end up where it is now, in a rancid dung-heap of bankrupt imagination.
A sacred light in the island’s heart that must be protected? This is truly the most generic and bland of all mythological tropes. The trapping of disembodied spirits who have done wrong in life? Can it get more hackneyed than this, let alone truly inconsistent for various reasons? The chanting of mumbo-jumbo bullshit over some water to grant immortality? Please, just fuck off with this 6th grade creative writing class bullshit.
And mythology aside, what the fuck is it with these sudden ham-handed character turns? Evil Sayid suddenly deciding to be a sacrificial lamb for the group and Good Ben turning homicidally malignant at the drop of a hat for what I can only assume is the purpose of the writers not to have to explain what the fuck Widmore was doing prior to his convenient off-screen sit-down with Jacob…it is just baffling.
But I am digressing here. The point is, even though the writers obviously had backed themselves into a hole where the only solutions were magical solutions, it is simply ridiculous that the underlying support structure for the basis and flow of their magical world is this fucking stupid.
And the thing that really burns my ass is the reason all the candidates were chosen by Jacob. “You were flawed. You needed the island as much as it needed you.”
Fuck you, Jacob! Jack is a goddamn successful spinal surgeon. Do you know how much intelligence, training, and dedication this takes? All you had to do was fucking drink some water to get your abilities. Before that all you were was a lank mama’s boy with a far more interesting brother who would later go on to star in High School Musical and Me and Orson Welles.
The world needs Jack more than the island, asshole. You know who needs the island? Lindsay Lohan.
That is one sad bitch.
Lindsay really could use the island. Now she’s got a bench warrant out for her.
Lindsay Lohan looks even worse than EL. LL is only in her 20s, but she looks 40. A bad 40. Shows what unlimited coke and alcohol will do to you.
“…unlimited coke and alcohol…”
Ah… A boy can dream, can’t he?
Man you said it.
Look at the alternate time stream. The island is destroyed. And most of them are leading a much better life.
And I guess the whole Hurley talking to dead people has nothing to do with his candidature.
Dude, um, anybody ever tell you you write like a fag.
J/K
I agree wholeheartedly.
Well it is interesting you noticed this because I managed to get the whole thing out while simultaneously having a big black cock savagely pumping in and out of my rectum.
His name is Anton. He is a LOST fan and not very happy about my defection from the faithful.
WOW!!! I must say you are one talented individual to be doing all that at the same time…..
Great multi-tasking…
Ya, that was pretty gay.
No matter how lofty the beginning of a story, if it ends up with the only available explanation being the equivalent of an arrow to the chest every time we find a plot hole…
Stick a fork in it, it’s done.
Now remember that this shit started in SEASON FUCKING TWO of Lost…
Actually, on the so-called “The End” finale, they had to add that extra 30 minutes just to add the superbad green subtitles telling us just what the flocke is going on…
So I hear anyways.
Those 2 producers…they are so pecular-looking…are they gay?
Not that there is anything wrong with that…
Hah.
Of course. For crying out loud, all you have to do is take one look at the Sawyer/ Miles duo in the alt-verse, and take another look at Jack’s kid. All that crazy gay shit is an extension of those guys!
I would say with 100% certainty that Lindelof is gay. I think Cuse likes to molest young men, then strangle them with a cord and hide the corpses in his crawl space.
At this point, I think the big REVEAL at the end will be to flash to the end of a Cheech(aka Hurley’s dad) and Chong movie, and the whole 6 seasons will just have been one bad acid trip, hence all the comical writing and ridiculous plotholes. *cue laughter*
I can see it now, a dissolve of Smokey into the smoke filled cab of their ice cream truck:
Chong: “Man, what is in this shit, man?”
Cheech: “Mostly Maui Waui man, but it’s got some Labrador in it.”
Chong: “What’s Labrador?”
Cheech: “I had it on the table and the little motherfucker ate it, man. Then I had to follow him around with a little baggie for three days, man, before I got it back. Really blew the dog’s mind, ya know?”
Chong: “You mean we’re smokin’ dog shit, man?”
Cheech: “We been smokin’ dog shit for the last three seasons, man.”
“Dave?”
“Dave’s not here.”
“Time travel my eye!”
My name is Carlton Cuse and I am the school bus driver.
What does happens if smokie goes under water? Does he turn into mud?
Jackass knocked him in the water and he didn’t seen to be bothered by it. He just got out. Hell he even took a few shots for the team…..
MIB/Locke was fucking incapacitated once he hit the water – no S-monster response… Jack knew… the rules…
“I will never let you hurt Mr. Locke again” HAHA
Miles says: I get wonkey(?) among dead stuff…??? You know, the daughter…
???????????????????…..
That one scene was so bad
Damon: *Getting hand job from Carlton* OK Ben, in this scene you’re going to fag it up by being secretly in love with Locke. *Carlton switches to taking it up the ass* You throw yourself on the hood of the car and say “I will NOT let you hurt Mr. Locke”
Ben: *stares bug eyed and slowly backs away*
Not only has this show fucked up the few remaning brain cells I have left but so has this site. When I read what Ace had wrote I was like, what, where does that tie in. I had forgot about the school scene. Then I read what you wrote and it becomes all to clear for some reason. It’s not what you wrote so much. It’s me getting it…..
Smokie – I wrote that when I got home from the bar last night, half in the bag from (4) Vodka and sodas…
Yeah, only 4 eh? Hell back in my drinkin days I would drink a litre of Whiskey every night. My motto was if your not gonna get drunk why drink? Don’t get me wrong here I aint trying to top nobody. I’m just telling you what a stupid fucktard I am WAS…..
Finally this show makes sense. They died, because they were supposed to protect the mystical light in the centre of the island. Answers were promised and they were promptly delivered.
That makes sense to you eh? A magical light in the middle of an island makes sense to you? Yer just fuckin with me aintcha? I thought so…..
You should be happy to get that. Quit complaining…
I notice that the mainstream press is all ga-ga about Lost again. I don’t see how they got the taste of shit out of their mouth after Across the Sea.
Next person that tells me how brilliant Lost is and how I just don’t “get it” gets a pen in the jugular.
Man – you don’t “get it”…
The writing went down hill at an experiential rate. Even the general dialog doesn’t make any sense – and it’s geared towards the intellect of a five year old!
WOW, dude!!! Hey watch out for that pen…..
The show has been reduced to one dimensional characters like Kate and zero dimensional characters like PENAAAAYY and Zoe
In the alternate time stream I suspect that someone is smokie. (Could he be hiding in Jack’s father’s coffin?)
This will be revealed at the concert when he gets up and does a cover of Papa Roach’s “Getting Away with Murder”.
The audience get’s down! Everybody lights up… and inhales. They decide they like smokie and are glad Jacob is dead. smoky goes on to make billions in the record business and makes a killing.
I’m just trying to think what the closing song should be? Anyone?
Running with the Devil…..
They burned down the gamblin’ house,
It died with an awful sound
and Funky Claude was running in and out
Pulling kids out the ground
When it all was over
We had to find another place
But Swiss time was running out
It seemed that we would lose the race
Smoke on the water, a fire in the sky, smoke on the water
OK, you win hands down. Don’t have no idea what I was thinking there…..
That’s a natural.
If the credits last long enough they’d have time for another song.
Fire Woman by Cult …
Fire
Smoke, she is a rising fire
Oh, smoke on the horizon, yeah
Fire
Smoke, she is a rising fire
Oh, smokestack lightning, baby
“smoke (not) on the water”
oh, you got it first
sorry plimp!
Comment by Matt
2010-05-19 00:01:04
i can think of only one time tyler censored anyone
Reply to this comment
Comment by SMOKIE NOT LOCKE
2010-05-19 00:13:29
Me too! It was somebody impersonating him. Funny, do you remember that fucking clown LostnLost? What a pain in the ass…..
(Comments wont nest below this level)
Comment by Matt
2010-05-19 00:47:45
Actually it was Big Jim, who said some over the top crass shit, which was awesome.
—————==========================—————
If you go back to the season 5 finale about a quarter of the way down the page Lost my interest was having it out with someone. A Tyler impersonator made a comment trashing Lost my interest. Everybody got into a big uproar over this and Tyler used his GOD damned, Umm I mean GOD given Jacob power to strike the offender from the record. The fanbois were plentyful it seems like back then. You would say something that was fucked up about the show and them bastards would come flying out of the woodwork to tell you how fucked up you were. They would be down right mean about it to. Those were the days. Even back then not a one of them could give you a half assed reason as to why LO$T did not suck. Funny…..
Oh how the mighty have fallen
Anybody know the over/under for the number of *guncocks* in the Finale in Vegas?
very good.
It depends – do mean cockspins or auto-cocks?
do cockspins count as two cocks (the converse hold: those two cocks cock spin)
I’m not sure I understand the question. Are you referring to multiple cocks, spinning?
Did you see the “ultra mega secret sneak peek” of the finale, where Sawyer is peeping out of the bushes at Smokey by the well? Then, GUN COCK! Ben is there. At least their sound guy is getting his money’s worth out his “1001 gun cocking sounds” sound effects CD that he bought on eBay.
Gay Dr. Linuis… what a character degregation that is huh?
Yeah, but maligning once great characters (and thereby negating the performances of some great character actors) is one of the show’s specialties.
do you mean denigration? or degradation? cause what you said isn’t a word.
I am banned there now, but just explain to me-
what in the name of all that is holy is the point of the fuselage offering a “free” “one month” “subscription”??? It’s over…
Even some of the 3000+ posts sadfucks have turned on the show now.
Good.
You have to pay to post there? Wow, that is lamer than the show itself…
I saw that free subscription offer too and couldn’t figure it out. I can’t believe anyone is paying to post there now, and who the hell is going to want to post there a month after the show has ended?
Maybe that’s the thing: Once the show’s over, they won’t let just anybody post—you have to be the hardest of hardcore fans. And since most of them are retarded, Darlton figures they can squeeze some money out of them. Pretty sad.
You can comment on other shows to. They have a forum for Fringe and FastForward, some others too. I like to go over and play some of the games they got, like golf and bowling. The have some real old ones too…..
I am very flattered you quoted one of my comments on your blog. You have lots of great stuff there.
Yeah I checked that out to and I was gonna say something but The Mentalist came on and I just now got back. All I ask is that you don’t let you new found celebrity status go to your head eh…..
Never happen. I’m way too broke to have a big ego.
HAHA!!! Sounds like we got something in common then…..
Thnx if I ever get the time I will post some original fucking content too but no promises.
I can’t believe I only just found this site. I should have been here years ago capping asses and decapitating polar bears and such.
I started posting there after Across the Sea. It’s amazing how we have our own lingo (ie. Darlton) and they have their own lingo (ie. acronyms for every episode, ATS, WTDF)
I am so fucking glad we never picked up on that TPTB bullshit. Stupid fucking fanbois act like them half wit writers and producers are some kind of fucking gods, when all they are is a bunch of fucktards. I also love how they say, “it’s their show they can do it how they want.” I really don’t get what that even fucking means!!! I know that I am mentally challenged, with my third grade ejicasion uncle Jed, but in my mind I would think you would want it to go along with what the fans think to keep your ratings up. Isn’t high ratings what that business is all about. That would be like running for president and saying, “I don’t give a fuck what you people think I’m doing it my way whether you like it or not.” Do you actually think you will get elected? Everybody knows you tell everybody what they want to hear till you get elected, and then you pull an Obama and do it the way you want. The thing is that he was high in the ratings to begin with but just like LO$T the bottom fell right out. Now don’t go sending me a bunch of death threats and nasty e-mails!!! It was just an example. I can’t help it because there so comparable to each other…..
I was a big Obama fan and I voted for him. But, I think your absolutely right about him and the show.
You have to give the people what they want or your going to find your ass unemployed.
Funny, I voted for him too. Now my ass is unemployed…..
presidents can’t do that much ya know.
Yes, but when a president promises to change things, you kind of expect change.
When a president promises to reform health care you don’t expect reform to be a law requiring us to buy insurance from the same profit mongers that he said were the root of the problem.
When a president promises to take on the banks, you don’t expect him to hand them piles of cash at zero percent interest, so they can buy treasury bonds at 3% and pocket the profit.
Yeah agree. Health care reform didn’t quite turn out the way I expected. But that was mainly congress. Yeah Obama signed off on it, but it’s not like he came up with that all by himself.
Bush started the bank bailouts.
When a president says anything, I know it’s to get elected and not much more. This isn’t you guys’ first time voting is it?
Sorry to disagree, but the health care bill we got was exactly the one Obama wanted. The New York Times broke the story awhile back (I think last April) that Obama had secret meetings with the Pharamceutical, Hospital, and Insurance lobbysits. He promised them that there would be no Public Option in exchange for financial support for the Democratic Party in the next election.
He went out in front of the people and talked a good game about a “public option”, but never advocated for it. He actaully thanked Joe Lieberman for threatening to filibuster Health Care if the Public Option was taken out.
Around October he stopped calling it Health “Care” Reform and started calling it Health “Insurance” Reform. That was all I needed to hear to realize we were all played for suckers in the last election.
Now we have a law that requires us to buy insurance from the same parasites that have caused health care to become so expensive. And best yet, the Health Care plan only requires the insurance companies to cover 60% so you’re on the hook for the other 40% of the brain surgery you need.
I wanted Obama to be a progressive president, but he isn’t. He’s a corporatist. And the only people that he is interested in helping are the people that are already rich.
Sorry to everyone to go so off topic.
I’m not saying he’s a great guy by any means. I’m just saying he’s probably not any worse than the rest of em. And congress did vote on the bill. It’s not like Obama did that all by himself. But to get back on topic, maybe Obama should be a writer for Lost part 2. Maybe he’ll “change” Lost into something good? Right? Right?
Obama? Really? YAWN! Just leave Bush Dark alone. It’s really not worth debating anymore.
At least with Bush I expected him to be an asshole.
WTF?
See, your mistake was expecting ANY politician to NOT be an asshole. There is no “magic President”, negro (just a quote kids, I know what this word is code for) or otherwise.
Funny thing i’m fifty years old and yes it was my first time voting. The president does have a lot more power than you think. My old lady is an accountant and she says the middle class and the poor are in a heap of trouble here soon. It’s not that he is raising taxes on us what he is going to do is lower what you get back on your return so it doesn’t look like he raised taxes but what it boils down to in the long run he actually has. In turn giving these big companys a huge break on theirs…..
Darlton are SUCKERS!
hxxp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8-ikhBug5k&feature=player_embedded
“We reveal that the island is a metaphor or an allegory or some crap like that”
Letterman: “We’ve determined that the smoke was coming from the writer’s room.”
Hehe Hurley was stuck in the hatch, they tried to get him out in season 4.
I hope the finale will feature an entire set of new characters and none of the other characters who have ever appeared on Lost before appear.
I hope in the ending of the show, everyone is at the concert when all of a sudden a portal opens and a half cyborg, half human Walt appears from the future (played by Shaq). He has some kind of plasma rifle and wastes everyone on site. Vincent will also be a robo-dog that can talk, and will end up viciously mauling Ben.
HAHA Vincent has an exo skeleton like that cast-dog in Something About Mary and has a laser designator on the side of his head.
Cyborg Walt screaming: “I am the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past From the Future”!
That’s sooooo Poochie!
You just helped me think of the plot for a Lost character spinoff. Wait for it….”Hurley The Bionic Fat Guy”.
Good right?
Ummm, suuure Plimp dude man, gimme another hit offen that bong eh…..
No — half man, half bear, half pig!
Try to wrap your brain around this: Between the Lost finale “pre-show”, the finale itself and the Jimmy Kimmel thing; ABC will be airing five and a half hours of Lost content on Sunday night. Can anybody say “overkill”?
More like Bukake
I would rather watch five hours of Bukkake than one hour of Lost.
What’s wrong with Bukake?
Or over the top suckage. Tune in Sunday night and watch the biggest epic fail you will ever witness in your whole entire life!!! Your childrens lives too. We have not just five, oh no, we have five and a half hours of the biggest suckfest in television history. So make sure that you set that dial so you to can watch this show totally and completely fall on its ass!!! You think the last few seasons were bad, that wasn’t nothing compared to what we have in store for you. So be sure and tune in Sunday night. You will simply be “AMAYYYZZZZED!”…………BOOM……….LO$T……….
Over at the fuselage, in response to “Why Kate’s name was crossed out, but not Sun’s”
Thruthefog:
“Well, I guess that is another question answered. Jin was the Candidate.
It also answers why Sun did not time travel back to 1974. Only the Candidates were taken back to 1974. Kate was taken back to 1974 because she had given up being a Mother, and came back to the island to find Claire.
Jacob told her she was still a candidate and could have the job if she wanted it.”
Didn’t Jackass, Kate, Hurley and Sayid jump back to 1977? I think the question should be as to why Claire didn’t time travel with the rest of them. Didn’t Rose, bernard and even fucking Vincent jump along with the nosebleedsection (I like that name for some reason) when they were doing all that jumping around? I have read a number of this guys posts over at the pewsludge, and liked a few of his theorys. Hard to believe he made a mistake like that…..
It’s the difference between an analysis by someone who follows a religion and someone who doesn’t follow that religion. The religious person’s trapped inside a paradigm and has to desperately use selective blindness to make stuff work. The dispassionate outsider can just look and say,
“that’s tango urilla fudge right there.”
Nothing ever happened in LOST after the first four episodes, that wasn’t just arbitrary random hooks to see what the fans liked. That is not how one writes professionally. LOST is the most decadent television show in history, and the ABC suits who fired the guy who authorised the show were prescient.
I’ve been thinking about this same thing.
The relationship between how people view LOST, especially in this final season, and the way people view religion is completely analogous.
Faith requires the shutdown of objective critical thinking. Logic becomes a pesky nuisance and yet, because it is still operating in the background, the mind subverts it to make the tenants of the faith work.
As you said, “selective blindness”. The crucial mechanism for making the mind believe obvious bullshit.
tenets, not tenants.
I can’t believe they are going to have a concert in the series finale. Is this what it has come to? It started with a plane crash on a mysterious island and it ends in a concert on the mainland!!!??!?!?!??!!
A concert? Really? Is that on the Jimmy Kimmel thing?
The concert is Jackasses son’s deal. As for it starting out as a plane crash and ending at a concert on the mainland. It”s also in a whole different timeline ta boot!!!!! But shit fire and save the matches, they knew it the whole time!!! What? Oh yes they did because they said so…..
OH, the b-universe son’s concert. I get it now. I’m usually busy scratching my balls or picking my nose or driving railroad spike through my temple (or some actual FUN activity) during the b-universe parts.
Is it Jackass’s son’s concert, or is it the Widmore / Faragay concert they wasted all that time on a few episodes ago? Or are these concerts the same thing?
Oh yeah, that’s right: who fucking cares?
Lost is a gigantic cluster fuck.
The island has a glowing mangina, just like me. The old, scaly, man-fish. I’m Old Gregg!!!
I wonder what kind of played out, eye-rolling inducing cliches are we gonna have to endure on the finale.
On S3 Patchy wasn’t quite dead yet and swam off unnoticed to set off the grenade, Jin, Bernie and Sayid getting “shot and killed” over the walkie, and Naomi getting killed but wasn’t quite dead yet (again).
On S4 there were the “which wire to cut” scene, and Martin Keamy wasn’t quite dead yet (again).
On S5 there were the controls on the drill that failed at the worst possible time, the bomb that didn’t go off in time for suspense’s sake, that nimrod Phil who chose to talk with Sawyer first before killing him which in turn got his dumb ass killed instead, then Juliet wasn’t quite dead yet (again) and barely had enough energy to set off the bomb.
So, odds are somebody’s gonna get shot or stabbed and be presumed dead, but not quite dead yet and come back for one last dramatic scene. I’m calling that now, my brothers.
And for those complaining about spoilers, there’s nothing left to spoil. This shit has been rotten beyond belief for years now.
I thought about this the other day. Expect it. It is the biggest hollywood cliche there is.
Someone we don’t expect will show up at the last minute and save the day.
Dont’ read below this point if you don’t want a spoiler.
It will be Bubo the Owl from the Luke-Skywalker-is-Perseus version of “Clash of the Titan (1981)”.
hxxp://theseventhvoyage.com/bubo.htm
I just got done watching Josh Holloway on Jimmie Kimmel. He is kind of funny, but the thing I noticed most was that he calls Matthew Fox, Foxxy!!! It makes me wonder if he calls him that because of the vanity issue and the hugantic, gimongus ego that he has…..
This show is so damn LIBERAL – when it ran smoothly- had EVERYTHING you could possibly want in one’s life:
Young, old, gay, straight(maybe), asexual, pansexual, incest(well it’ll get there), whites, blacks, yellows, crazies, normals(maybe), tightbods, fatfuckers, bitches, ghosts, zombies, flushtoiletforsmokies, nospeekenglishers, pregos, immortals, schoolkids, demo derbies, runemoverforpointers, pets, fresh fish, organic veggies, canned stuff, bagged munchies, lifedeathinfinity…
Oh hell guys please add the rest as my typing hand is hurting.
No aliens (yet).
I was hoping for something like alien Egyptians, with four toes…
hxxp://FunnyOrDie.com/m/3yco
The golden vagina finally appears!
at least they have a sense of humor
They don’t have a sense of humor. What they have is scorn and derision for their audience. “Ha, ha, you’re all going to be incredibly disappointed and we don’t give a shit. Thanks for making us richer than God!”
see that kinda makes me happy now. it’s not use lost-haters who they’re gonna piss off. we gave up a long time ago. they’re gonna piss off the fanboys and that’s gonna be quite funny
Haha. This person appeared in an episode of Voyager as a radio astronomer from 1996.
Hehe people who follow religion tend to be dolts or queers and uuh.. dumb, I guess.
“That’s not how we see it.”
“That was really a comment, not a question.”
haha fuck yeah. She must read whylostsucks, or are there other forums that compared the tunnel of life to poon?
Also, didn’t someone here suggest the Yakety Sax theme for a Jacob and smokie scene?
On the fuselage a few people compare it to a poon, but they are probably WhyLostSucks posters to begin with.
Smoke monster action in the writers room?
I’ll have smoke monster action when I watch the finale for sure!
And Calrton indicates his nose. Does that mean coke?
Good question. I’m voting yes.
Another LOST mystery:
The alt-LA verse has shown us time after time how very GAY/Perverted it is on all levels:
*Sawyer/Miles “A love story for the Ages”
*Jack’s retarded, big-headed, mongoloid, son.
The tragic gay offspring of an Oxycontin and Booze addict.
* Dr. Linus’ love for Locke
” I will never let you hurt Mr. Locke”
Enough said.
* Jack doing his own half-sister…
Question:
Is all this somehow caused by the “unique properties of electromagnetism?”
Something to think about…
Basically, you have to look at season 6 as a standalone show with no connection to the previous 5 seasons beyond the characters. Darlton introduced the Jacob vs. Smokey conflict at the end of season 5, and the sole purpose of season 6 is to resolve that conflict. As Jacob and Smokey/MIB were not characters in any of the first 5 seasons, this means that season 6 is a completely new show, and the series finale will actually only be the finale for season 6. It is much easier to write and produce a series finale for a one season show than a six season show, and of course Darlton have taken the easy way out and chosen to completely screw over their audience and ignore the first five seasons due to the difficulty involved in tying up the loose ends. The only problem is, if you look at season 6 as a standalone series, it really does suck mad donkey balls. Basically, this series is about a magic guy who was made magical by his magic fake mother to protect a magical magic light from a magical monster that was created magically when the magic guy threw his non-magic brother into the magical magic light – I mean, seriously – Land of the Lost had a better premise. If the commercials were honest, that’s how they’d hype the show and then could let the audience decide whether or not they want to watch. However, because Darlton know that no one in their right mind would watch a piece of crap like that they have to pretend that the previous five seasons have some impact on the series finale when clearly they don’t. Lame.
Land of the Lost, at least, had Sleestaks.
Sleestaks > polar bears.
It is the Matrix effect.
After the first Matrix film there was all sorts of theories and beliefs. The fans couldn’t wait for another film.
The writers said this is our creation and we will do what we want with it. And they did.
They had a fight scene on the top of a bus with an after-the-fact “key master” who was super imposed in it. This is because they invested a lot of money in that fight scene and wanted to use it. In all the Matrix franchise stopped being great and just became good.
Or consider Star Trek franchise. It is possible to make a bad one but will still make hundreds of millions just because each loyal fan will see it at least once.
It all comes down to money. In total, how much money did the Lost franchise generate? After a point, quality doesn’t matter anymore. Viewers like us keep watching even if it is just to see how screwed up it will be. It goes from great to just good. (I am trying to be generous here)
It is wild. There are even Lost action toys $$$$
My favorite Lost toy is the “Action Hurley With Jiggling Man-Boobs and Dharma Brand (TM) Ranch Dressing Accessory”. I also like the “Whining Jack With Realistic Crying Effects (fake tears sold separately)”. The crown jewel of my collection though, has to be the “Bikini Shannon With Super Step Brother Humping Action”.
Don’t forget the “Smoke Monster” action figure. It says either “Marlboro” or “Camel” on the front of the package and it comes with “Zippo Magic Light” accessory.
Mine says Parliment Light, but same dif.
Yeah, mine says PALL MALL…..
I saw the beat-up-Benjamin-Linus bobblehead. I am not shitten you, this really exists.
When I saw it I threw up in my mouth a little bit.
I was going to tell a joke about having Lost toys in McDonald’s fun meals. But now I don’t feel very good. It will take me a few days to cope with this.
Instead of a bobble-head, it should have been one of those rubber dolls you squeeze and the eyes pop out.
When I was a kid they had these blow up plastic clowns that had sand in the bottom so you could knock the fuck out of them and they would come right back up for more…..
Unbelievable !!!
hxxp://www.entertainmentearth.com/prodinfo.asp?number=BBP08001
Well, I’d definitely like to have a figure like that of demon and curse … with their real blood !!!
I just saw the Sun Is A Dirty Whore action figure on ebay. It actually talks, so when you pull the string it says “Where’s Jin?,” “Have you seen my husband, Jin?,” or “Me love you long time.” The seller also has the tube-of-lube accessory, but the Malibu Rub-Down Parlor isn’t included.
My favourite is the Jack is a fucktard action figure. He spazes out repeatedly demanding the following:
-What do you want from me!!!!?!
-Tell me where my friends are !!!?!?!
-You’re going to tell me *dramatic pause* and you’re going to tell me NOW!!!!
There is a fifth dementia, beyond that which is known to man. It is a dementia as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between madness and stupidity, between true-belief and denial, and it lies between the pit of man’s sloth and the summit of his obsession. This is the dementia of misguided veneration. It is an area which we call DarkUfo.
Didn’t love it has had a little over 10,000 views, while loved it had a little under 2000.
I guess the mods can delete posts, but not views
Hey neato Guys & Gals,
I was needing some advice on just how to prepare for viewing the grand Finale, “The End,” on the 23rd, Sunday.
What should I do, in terms of food & drink, recreational drugs, partners to watch with, and so on?
All I can think of right now is Locke’s rope and a stepstool…
Thanks!
Oxycontin and booze – just like Jack!
Cyanide laced Kool-Aid of course.
Arsenic and old lace…..
Scenes I’d like to see department…
Jack starts drinking water from the cup.
Hurley calls over: Dude! Don’t drink the grape kool-aid!
Jack starts laughing and the water squirts out his nose. He sprays the whole cup in Jacobs face.
Now even Sawyer and Kate are laughing.
Sawyer: Serves the jerk right!
Kate doubled over with laughter: I can’t help it! Did you see the look on his face?!
Jacob put his hands on hips (backward style): YOU GUYS! I… HAVE… HAD… IT! I QUIT! I’M LIKE…. JESUS! (wiping face. calls out) BROTHER! YOU WIN! Will you please just zap them all!
Smokie-Locke appears. Starts laughing: Oh man, now… this is priceless! Does anyone have a camera?
Boom…
Lost
So no answers to:
Statue with FOUR toes.
US Army presence
The Others’ filthy with cash, world wide network… “they’re on assignment in Canada”
The other Others at the temple
How the Others would just appear out of nowhere on the island.
Hanso Foundation/Mithlous labs connection (or whatever it’s called) from The “Lost experience” bullshit side story.
Egyptians
4 toes
The numbers
All the little clues that add up to nothing…
What else?
***Statue with FOUR toes.
Darlton like Futurama, and trying to be cool with pop culture references for the kidz. The four toed statue is a virtual replica of one from the background of the scene in A Pharaoh To Remember when the Futurama gang as slaves are on a riverboat.
***US Army presence
Trying to close a plothole from early on when the tailies find a US Army knife. That screwup back then is “answered” by being the inspiration for the Jughead episode.
***The Others’ filthy with cash, world wide network… “they’re on assignment in Canada”
***The other Others at the temple
***How the Others would just appear out of nowhere on the island.
David Furey, an actual writer (who left the show) said in interviews that they had zero idea who or what the Others were. So originally the Others benefitted from the “offscreen infinite resources” cheat mode.
***Hanso Foundation/Mithlous labs connection (or whatever it’s called) from The “Lost experience” bullshit side story.
The operative word being bullshit…
The whole Lost experience was a combination crowdsourcing, cheap (relatively speaking) extra content to pimp the show and a very clear indication that Darlton had zero clue as early as Season 2.
***Egyptians
Rip off of other people’s ideas, Egyptian is kewl, but it made no sense, was shoehorned in, and promptly forgotten about. There are fourteen year old dungeonmasters who run mysteries in their RPG campaigns better than this.
***4 toes
Because that’s the style art (Groening- Simpsons, Futurama) that was ripped off for the prop. If you look, not only does it have four toes, they are in fact blobby Simpsons type toes, not fine art sculpture Egyptian type toes.
***The numbers
Originally the numbers were almost certainly meant to riff the Harmonics theory of UFOs and so forth, and to end up being fundamental numbers of the universe a la the Sacred Chao and The Number 23. When that was guessed by fans back in 2004 (true) the writers changed it rather than see it through. Not just hacks… Petty egotistical hacks. Classic.
All the little clues that add up to nothing…
If clues don’t add up, then they can’t be clues amigo… They’re just window dressing shit.
A six year serial that leads to nothing. Not a good deal.
I remember seeing a video that the numbers were an equation of when the world was going to end, or some shit. Also, at the time I also thought the “lost experience” was indeed related to the show, and I was getting addition info – pieces of the puzzle. I don’t think it would be too much to ask of something credible. It really did turn into ABC shit.
Thanks for that very good explanation.
The Valenzetti Equation. Named after a fictional formula, fictional mathematician and indeed a fictional idea of how math works.
Also named after real life Aussie math dude Valenzetti. There’s a street named after him in Australia’s capital.
It’s a shit street.
Inherited Tiger= Win.
Just realized I have no idea what happened to Vincent the dog. Did I miss something?
As he is really the only character left I give a shit about, I hope he plays a pivotal role in the final, leaping out of the jungle and latching his mighty lab jaws onto MiB’s neck right in the nick of time.
And then I hope he mounts Kate, because the beautiful act of bestiality is very under represented on network TV.
Yeah Vincent should rape Kate, then eat her.
Soooooooooo…
Vincent then makes Kate his Bitch!
ILIKEIT!
But she’s probably gonna bitch to him in the future(?) incessantly about “why do we always have to do it doggy-style?”
Vincent the dog and the kids (remember the kids?) have both disappeared completely.
Were these like red-shirt kids, like the other Losties who we never knew? Or were they Others?
It was always distracting to me that you had these filler crash survivors in the background walking around. You couldn’t help seeing them milling about and it’s like, “Who the fuck are they?” I suppose the writers needed them around just in case disposable meat was required for the machine.
I think more survivors have died on the show then were actual passengers. Season 5 they kept getting blown up, shot, impaled with burning arrows…
they don’t even bother with the background crash survivors anymore huh
And speaking of magic turtles and sexing turtles… For awhile now Lost has reminded me of the ‘turtle infinite regression problem’. As strange as that sounds many of you actually probably know what i’m referring to, and here’s the full wiki if you’re interested : hteeteep://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turtles_all_the_way_down
Pasted (and Brief History of Time is where I first heard it) from wiki:
“A well-known scientist (some say it was Bertrand Russell) once gave a public lecture on astronomy. He described how the earth orbits around the sun and how the sun, in turn, orbits around the center of a vast collection of stars called our galaxy. At the end of the lecture, a little old lady at the back of the room got up and said: “What you have told us is rubbish. The world is really a flat plate supported on the back of a giant tortoise.” The scientist gave a superior smile before replying, “What is the tortoise standing on?” “You’re very clever, young man, very clever”, said the old lady. “But it’s turtles all the way down!”
p.s. PAST THE BAMBOO?!?!?!?!?
I Like Turtles!
the finale will feature only people and places we’ve never seen before.
Would you care to elaborate on this. Be a little more specific if ya don’t mind eh…..
*** MAJOR SPOILER ***
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Was wondering why Miles is still on the show.
Turns out he’s the only one who hasn’t talked to UnLocke.
He will be the one to plunge the Dogen’s katana (or whatever the fuck it is) into the Smoke Locke.
BOOM
Lost
I don’t know about that there. I think thats more of a theory then a spoiler. I mean it sounds good on paper and all, but I think thats what them asswipes want you to believe. So that means it won’t happen. You know the rules. Well I guess nobody really knows the rules. It’s like this, It is like this right now then it’s subject to change at our discretion in a moments notice…..
Yes it’s a theory.
They want you to think that one of the 815ers will kill Locke, but this will be their big surprise.
hXXp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-DShnvNNv0&playnext_from=TL&videos=5Q8WrcJ6h2g&feature=feedu
youtube.com/watch?v=di3w1yV4Ehg&feature=player_embedded
Should end like this:
No Man Can Kill ME says SMOKIE – of course it’s the #1 rule for him, right?
So someone long gone and super-”special” like Walt needs to pack VIncent with all of the C-4 and throw a stick at Smokie-Locke and say “fetch, boy!”
Ka-Boom!
The Island, now free from the weight of so much bullshit, promptly sinks.
The End.
Pretty good, but in true Lost what-the-fuck tradition, the dog needs to start talking, and the characters should accept that there’s a talking dog in their midst like it’s nothing out of the ordinary.
Good idea…What would the dog say if he could, I wonder?
He will “Bark, I say! Bark!” but in a poor English accent.
My aunt will keep criticizing the way he pronounces things.
You all everyBARKY!
Nothing about any answers to mysteries, that is for DAMN sure.
Things seem to have ground to a halt around here. It’s as if the whole of humanity is holding its breath in anticipation of the worst, most disappointing five and a half hours of TV of the decade.
You are so right!!! My old lady has been working on my computer all day, so I been reupholstering the cushions on the kitchen table chairs. Fucken cats like scratching them open for some reason. Then watched my favorite show DEADLIEST CATCH. I figured that I would be up half the night trying to catch up on all the posts. Shows ya how much I know…..
At least they didn’t rune that show.
Now if you are a true fanboy you have the 2 hr. presuck. Then you have the 2 1/2 hour suckfest itself. Then you have the 1 hour aftersuck party with Jimmy Kimmel. HOLY SHIT!!! Thats enough suck to make your fucking head implode!!! So tomorrow while doing your daily activities and you see people running around in circles like a rabid dog on meth, that don’t have no head. You will know that they are the fanbois that stayed up and watched the wholw thing…..
we at least have to get this to 1000
No worries mate…..
Will there be any sex in the finale tonight?
Ben and the frog bitch in the alt.
she does kinda look like a frog huh. or lizard
Hey I just now saw the 2005 second Zorro movie and Ben was in there as a Pinkerton U.S. agent in the late 1850’s!
Coincidence, or is someone teasing the shit out of us?
They’ve been rerunning the Sopranos on A&E on Sunday mornings, so a couple of weeks ago I got to see Miles as a resident of the loony bin where Junior Soprano ended up. He plays an overstressed Asian student with anger management problems and was really pretty good.
I’d watch him again in another show, but no way in hell I’m watching anything with Evangeline Lily or Matthew Fox. EL was in The Hurt Locker (SPOILER ALERT!) for about 90 seconds, and it took me completely out of the story. It was like “Jesus Shit! There’s fucking Kate!” It actually made me angry to see her.
I am with you all the way on that. If it has Jackass or Kate I aint no way in hell watching it…..
at the fuselage:
“The Lost series finale is upon us. In order to give the long time site users the best experience possible, we have decided to restrict posting for the next 24 hours.
Newbies will be able to read but not post. Once the finale starts guests and newbies will no longer be able to view the board. First level users will be restricted to reading as well. It may become necessary to change that but we are going to do our best to allow access for as long as possible.
Thanks for your understanding.”
get ready for an influx of users
Question:
Please define what a ‘newbie’ is exactly?
and a comment:
Why would we want to spoil this crap anyway?
I cannot wait for that site to circle the drain and go down. It is over, people. Find the next cult to join.
Well, we COULD start up a thread for those absolutely stupid plumbers turned ghosthunters on SyFy which craps on everything I hold sacred…
…that and pro wrestling being very sci-fi appropriate (puke in own mouth swallow and puke again).
I doubt enough people would have the enthusiasm for it, or the pure stream of venom, but with LOST wrapped up, it would be possible to go back and comprehensively demolish its supposed revelations episode by episode, showing exactly where the derailment occurred in each case.
I still maintain based on body language and dialogue delivery by “Rose” that “Bernard” was originally black. However, there is zero evidence of that. It was just another early example of expectation variance.
I feel very honored to be the 1000th poster on this thread. Thank you…..
Congrats!
There’s a funny golden light coming offa your post…
And there was ALWAYS meant to be! That was the plan from the very first SMOKIE NOT LOCKE post!
“Congratulations on pulling off an amazing show. Don’t tell anyone … but when ‘Star Wars’ first came out, I didn’t know where it was going either. The trick is to pretend you’ve planned the whole thing out in advance. Throw in some father issues and references to other stories — let’s call them homages — and you’ve got a series.”
–George Lucas
“What is the meaning or significance of the two skeletons that Jack and Kate found in the cave of season 1?
CUSE: The answer to that question goes to the nature of the timeline of the island. We don’t want to say too much about it, but there are a couple Easter eggs embedded in [the Feb. 7 episode], one of which is an anagram that actually sheds some light on the skeletons and hints at a larger mythological mystery that will start to unfold later in the season.
LINDELOF: There were certain things we knew from the very beginning. Independent of ever knowing when the end was going to be, we knew what it was going to be, and we wanted to start setting it up as early as season 1, or else people would think that we were making it up as we were going along. So the skeletons are the living — or, I guess, slowly decomposing — proof of that. When all is said and done, people are going to point to the skeletons and say, ”That is proof that from the very beginning, they always knew that they were going to do this.””
-Dalrton
The anagram: MITTELOS BIOSCIENCE. MITTELOS = Lost Time.
ie: Adam and Eve corpses were in fact originally meant to be just 50 years old. They were undoubtedly meant to be two of the Losties. Who had either become lost in time or lost time in the sense of aging etc.
Darlton invoked a proof that has in fact hoisted them by their own petard and is another substantive proof that they were making it up as they went along.
Otherwise the anagram would have been something a little clearer re: Season 6, no? Something like an anagram of “first guardian” or “mother and son” or some such?
Adam is not Eve’s son. The corpses weren’t arranged like that. And there were other wreckage props in the cave too, not all of which looked to be from the 815 crash.
This is twaddle.
“If you’re going into the finale wanting to know what the Dharma Initiative was all about, you’re barking up the wrong tree.”
-Terry O’Quinn
Also, LOST University: epic fail.
“This was maybe the first TV show envisioned as a video game, with all of the Easter eggs buried in the text,” Lavery said. “The fans find these things and run with them.”
-turns out that the “LOST is a Game” dude with his amazing website was right all along. Pity he was derided and hounded off the Fuselage.
His crime: being right.