Your final show predictions

The show ends so badly that this website gains national coverage for “people who knew ahead of time how bad it is.”

As for my predictions? Uh, guns are cocked, main characters die, the smoke monster flies around, the magic cave is saved and everybody is smiling because love saves all.

I’m first, I’m first. What? I’m second I’m second. woohoo…

The flash sideways (retardedest thing evar) reconciles with the island life edition as people get killed on island they blip into merged consciousness in the flashsideways land and sit down or arrive at the concert. There are some moments meant to be heart rending as we see that not everyone ends up with who the fans at the fuselage wanted them to. That isn’t deliberate by the way, it’s just that the writing for this show is awful. Truly, awful.

In a scene stolen directly from several, better, books and films, the cast assemble, sit down in the audience, the concert begins…

…and the show ends.

The last thing we see (other than our own curtain of blood red boiling rage descending on our vision) is cast members throwing knowing looks at each other.

Back on the island a light shines up into the sky, even though we already found out that the light was just Desmond shining a torch (that was some motherfucking torch by the way) except when it was actually the glory hole or anti-smoke-monster. Or not.

BOOM.

LOST.

I hope the MIB kills everybody and leave the island for god sake!

But I think the writers will kill most people except a few, including MIB and Jackass. The island will be destroyed but a new “thing” will be created to house MIB and Jackass eternally. And the remaining few survivors left the island sadly!

Boone saying, “Theresa falls up the stairs, Theresa falls down the stairs”
That was explained in Deus Ex. His nanny died on the stairs after he called for her. The “up” is a polarity reversal, indicating Boone’s consciousness time-traveling on the Other Side to give this information to Locke.

The Orchid Station Rabbits.
This was explained in TNPLH. They were used for experimentation.

What the purpose of the Dharma Initiative was.
Dr Chang alludes to this in “Because You Left.” They were there to explore the time-traveling possibilities of the Island.

What the purpose of The Others was.
To prevent people from exploring the time-traveling possibilities of the Island, while using the time-traveling possibilities themselves.

What were The Others trying to accomplish with Walt? To see if they could bend him to their will, on account of his Special abilities. They couldn’t.

Why did Aaron need to be raised by Claire? He needed to not be raised by an Other, so he wouldn’t learn of the time-traveling possibilities of the Island and become a Replacement, which would have made Claire very very sad.

What is the deal now with Ji Yeon? She’s safe off the Island.

What is the motivation of Alvar Hanso? Because his ancestor has been to the Island, and likely discovered the time-traveling possibilities thereof, Alvar has a family history of Islandness… and so he wanted to exploit these time-traveling possibilities for his own gain as well as for others.

What is the motivation of the Degroots? Idealists who wanted to explore the time-traveling possibilities of the Island to benefit mankind.

What was the deal with the Dharma “animals” (polar bear, shark etc.)? To see if other animals could survive the time-traveling possibilities of the Island. Like the bunnies, they were used for experimentation.

What was with the Dharma food drop? Because of the time-traveling possibilities of the Island, the Dharmans were able to exploit a consistent time-lag to schedule regular drops pretty much all at once.

Why was Daniel crying when he saw the fake 815 on the news (what exactly was the memory issue)? Because just before this FlashBack, he was jumping out of a helicopter over a strange Island; this fear triggered the FlashBack and bled on through to it.

Why were there fertility issues apparently after “the incident”? Because the babies were time-traveling back to prevent themselves from being born.

What was the deal with the cabin? Who was in the cabin? Why did Horace build the cabin in the time loop encounter?
The Cabin is a Center of time-traveling possibilities on the Island; it’s likely made of Banyan wood. Christian, Hurley, Locke, Ben and Claire have all been in the Cabin. Horace built the Cabin to contain the consciousness that had been riding Smoky, making Smoky a fairly predictable paradox-patroling security-system.

What was the actual purpose of pressing the numbers? Why didn’t someone just turn the failsafe from day one?
Because no one else dared to end up like Desmond. Anyone who turned the key for any other reason than Desmond’s wouldn’t have survived.

Why do the others dress like natives?
To fool people.

Why did Christian Sheppard have on Jack’s shoes…and why did Locke have on Christian’s shoes in order for everything to “work”? The Island is filled with time-loops, because it has an “other side” which is the MirrorVerse. The Other Side can be breached with sufficient synchronicities and polarity reversals.

What was Widmore actually planning with Keamy, Miles, Charlotte and Daniel? What was the endgame there?
That was all a diversion to ensure that Desmond would get off the Island and into his clutches.

What is Mrs. Hawking’s role? How did she become “time cop”?
She got Daniel’s notebook after killing him, and out of regret became a determinist.

There, everything has been explained.

From the Fuselage. Where else?

How will this end?

The “genius” producers, writers, and ABC suits, live out the rest of their lives in the lap of luxury. While we poor bastards walk around with egg on our faces, having contributed to their wealth.

Ok, the thing I noticed in Tuesday nights episode was when Zoe got back Charles gave Ben the walky-talkys. Ben had a little time while Smokie was doing his thing with Richard. Miles had already beat feet the hell out of there. Remember now, we are at Bens old house. Ben figures a way to keep the mike keyed on the squaky, maybe with tape, or even string. While Locke And Ben are talking about Dezzylu Who, Miles is listening on the other end, quickly runs off to get him out of the well. We know Sayid did not pull him out when he was there, or else he would not have told Jackass that he was there. Jackass & Co, were busy with the Jacob thing of pinning the tail on the new Jackass. Now Miles and dezzylu meet up with Jackass & Co. They all head for the glory hole of light. Locke and Ben realizing that Dezzylu is no longer in the well, head for the glory hole of light too. On the flip side (B-verse) Jackass and Claire are making out. NO!!! I mean getting ready to go to the concert. Kate with Dezzylu puts on her new dress. Hurley and Sayid are ready too. Jackass looking in the mirror notices that his neck is bleeding again, but doesn’t have time to worry about that right now. The concert is being held at the museum that Chang runs. the event is sponsered by the Widmore Construction Company. Alex has been invited and calls Ben asking if he would escort her and her mother to the concert, and Ben says he would love to. The Widmores ask Penny if she would like to join them and with nothing better to do agrees. Of course Daniel will be attending with them too. Miles will stop and pick up Charlotte. Back on the island Jackass & Co. have reached the glory hole of light. Wondering what they are going to do. Dezzylu says that he is going in. On the flip side everyone is starting to show up at the concert. David and his mother, Botox show up a little early so David can have a little time to shake off his jitters. Dezzylu stopped off to pick up Charley on their way. Everybody is starting to converge on the scene when Miles spots Dezzylu and Kate so he immediatly gets on the phone to Sawyer telling him he needs to get his ass down here so he has some back-up. Back on the island Locke and Ben finally find the glory hole and find Jackass & Co. there. Locke asks Jackass where Dezzylu is and Jackass tells him that he went in the hole already. This pisses Locke off and he proceeds to slit Jackasses throat. Locke couldn’t kill Jacob because of the mother thing. Even though Jackass became the protector those rules didn’t apply to him and Jackass falls to the ground with one final eeeyyyaaaaa and is dead. Hey its my story I can tell it how I want to!!! Jackass is dead so get over it. Kate starts screaming and crying and Locke slits her throat as well. He looks at the others and asks if they have anything to say and they are shaking their heads no. Locke goes into the glory hole after Dezzylu. On the flip side everyone has made it to the museum except Sawyer. Miles is trying to lay low to not be seen by the Dezzylu criminal element. Getting very nervous waiting for Sawyer. The concert begins. In the glory hole Dezzylu finding he can jump through time at will. He discovers that the bomb did not go off when Botox hit it with the rock. It was actually a flash that Jacob had willed sending them to the present time to reunite everybody again. He hears a noise and sees Locke comming. His mind is racing wondering what to do. Locke is saying what are you doing Dezzylu Who. On the flip side the concert is winding down to come to a close. The very tense and aggravated Miles is whispering harshly into the cell phone “where the hell are you, it’s about over.” Back in the glory hole Lock is starting to get close so Dezzylu jumps into 1977 where Botox is hittin the bomb with the rock. He grabs the bomb and just as Locke is bringing the sword around to cut Dezzylu’s head off. The bomb detonates. The force of the bomb with all the electromagnetic energy sinks the island…BOOM…Everybodys dead, the monster snuffed. Meanwhile back on the flip side just as the concert ends and everybody is about to start clapping. Sawyer busts in and fires a shot into the ceiling everybody gets this crazy eerie feeling about them as they look around and feeling the sensations of knowing each orher and the island. A few moments pass the feeling passes to. Numerous police officers enter grabbing Kate, Sayid, Dezzylu Who and Hurley handcuffing them and escorting them out of the building. Credits roll, sad song starts to play. The biggest suckfest in the history of the world is finally over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!……….BOOM……….LO$T……….

“The producers had recently revealed to the Hollywood Reporter that the production crew had constructed all new sets for the finale, which they warn will answer some questions, but also spark a whole batch of new ones.”

Obviously, D-Faraday on lead guitar and vox is gonna totally blow minds! He will jam so hard he will literally shred the time-space-continuum making it possible for consciousness to be luminous throughout all humans in attendance. The band will be so badass too! Walt will naturally be keeping it loose on drums, Alt-reality Dogen and Jack’s son take horns, the emergence of alt-reality Ben’s Dad on synth, and well, you get the picture. D-Faraday starts to really rip up some face-melting riffs when alt-reality fan groupie Juliette, starts to lick his balls and tongue thread his nut butter. Eko grabs bass guitar from out of the fog and starts poop-looting on her, but is dragged off stage before tossing his white flags because Sawyer shows up, and arrest him for indecent exposure. Then Sawyer takes Juliette backstage in handcuffs and fucks her tits, but magically, the sound of this makes a really dope noise that totally blends with everything else harmonically on stage. Kate finally shows up and cum farts a snake omelette. Jack punches her in the throat. So dope…

It’s very old now, but LOST has totally ripped off the Nine Unknown and Lost Horizon type films from the early twentieth. Been said plenty often, it’s being said again now.

Is this what I THINK, or what I HOPE?

Cuz I totally hope the finale is a musical. They never got around to doing one of those episodes.

Well, there is this one thing. It’s about a killer-robot driving instructor that travels back in time for some reason.

I’m listening.

Okay, Okay, well, you see, this robot, he’s got a heart-breaking decision to make about whether his best friend lives…or dies.

Eeh–

His best friend’s a talking pie!

It is pretty obvious how is going to end, Jack is going to kill and stop Smokey, he is going to married Kate and they will live happily ever after on the island, Sawyer will be the new Boss of the others and Hurley will take Richards job, everybody else is going to die. And the would not answer most questions everyone is been waiting just the ones between the war of Jacob and MIB.

BOOM

Lost

The End–

Even that I know that we are going to have a shitty ending like the one I mention, I hope that LostSucks ending comes were Smokey kills everyone and finally leaves the island.

What you guys think?

I think that the few remaining comicbook shops will be having an awful lot of LOST dolls etc. going out in the dollar bins. Is what I think.

This is over.

Sure hope this site isn’t though! Just change the name to LOST SUCKED. Let it grow organically from there.

This show is going to make a great drinking game someday.

The end starts out with Jack just having drunk the water. Having done so, he now is omnipotent and knows all.

Including the fact that the so called smoke monster was originally supposed to be a sort of anti-time chaos cloud that formed whenever a time paradox condition was about to happen… and prevented it. Some kind of cool shit like that and not some lame-ass human-smoke-combo that preferred to walk in “human mode” and go around killing people with knifes and rocks instead of using special powers.

Smokie-Locke appears and he and Jack’s eyes meet. Jack knows.

Terry O’Quinn talks into his walky and says, cast members, take 5 then lets have a sit down.

(organ music chord) the word “Lost” floats across screen.

45 minutes (at least) of commercials. rake in the money. Perhaps even more than the super bowl.

Finally we get back to the show. The whole cast is assembled and looking at the camera. They are very cross.

Terry O’Quinn says, we were going to have a show for you tonight but have a bit of a beef going.

Mathew Fox says, yeah, its with you jerks over at whylostsucks.com. What makes you so smart? And people are writing my name as “JackAss”. Voice starts quavering, don’t you know I having feelings to?

Jorge Garcia says, yeah, not cool dudes.

Terry O’Quinn: So thats why we all decided to give you one last big EFF YOU!

All put up finger which FCC requires be digitally masked.

Terry O’Quinn: You guys think this is so easy? Why don’t you try doing this in just six seasons. Screw you guys. Now no one gets to see the show and its all whylostsucks.com site fault.

Boom…..

Lost

The show will end and everybody will say “what the fuck was that? I can’t believe I wasted 6 years of my life on this piece of shit.”

Then 10,000 years hence when we are all cold and dead and when internet archaeologists discover this website, they will declare that 21st century homosapiens, collectively, were a bunch of fuckin idiots.

The End.

The dumb show ends in LA because Jack does his thing and traps the S-monster under water when the Island sinks (or whatever)… saves the world. Nothing else that happens will be relevant or matter in the least.

What we will have to endure:

* Claire and her baby
* Sawyer and Kate – again
* Juliette is Jack’s wife
* Locke walks
* Sun and Gin – again
* Jack’s son becomes straight…
* Keamy becomes a dentist
* The Lost orchestra gets a Grammy

You know, all of the extremely boring stuff we already know.

THE END

Ooooo……have I been waiting for this. After season 2, I stopped watching for all the obvious reasons. My friends declared me a fool who just didn’t understand the show. I declared then I would be back for the last episode, when I could watch and see who gets dissappointed the most when they truly “get it”…that is, LOST is an aimless, meandering, semi-coherent plotting nightmare, and that not much was planned from the beginning.

My prediction?
Many sad faces from LOST fans as they are dissatisfied with ending …AND…it will suck!

BOOM!
LOST…

Things they’ll say afterwards besides Bullshit!

“Could have used more cowbell”
“It was weighed, it was measured, and it was found to be wanting”

My guess is that our gang will indeed somehow kill Locke Ness, only to discover too late that doing so causes some great calamity that they could have prevented (the entire 6-year run of LOST perhaps). My best guess (and thus completely worthless) is this:

I have the feeling that some sort of alien connection is in the offing: the smoke monster is one of the last surviving members of some ancient alien race that, among other things, built the great pyramids of Egypt. He had been trapped in that cave of light ever since the Romans put him there (the reason why Jacob’s foster mom spoke Latin?) and needs to “go home” to ensure his race doesn’t go extinct. (This race, of course, had mastered things like time travel and healing and projecting their energy into the bodies of lower life forms.) I think they’ll play up the “tragic” nature of this by making it obvious that the human meddling has essentially snuffed out an entire, advanced life form that could have been humanity’s salvation with its technological know-how (including green energy, no doubt).

I think back to the first episode of the year, the plane flying over the location where the island used to be, feeling some bumps of turbulence, and there, below the waves is the island — or is it the “Lost Continent of Atlantis” ? All along we were meant to think that “Lost” referred to the survivors of the plane crash, but no: it is the island (and hope) that is lost forever when Jack gets through living out his “destiny.”

I expect the tragic nature of it all will be revealed through some dialogue involving Faraday and Charlotte, who somehow meet and fall in love at the concert. They rush back to Charlotte’s apartment for some hot, redhead sex, after which, we cut to a scene of Walt waking up and rubbing his eyes. “Da-yum, that was some dream, ya’all!”

Walt, intrigued by the vividness of his dream, goes on a quest to locate all these people, whose names and faces he can never forget. He discovers they all died when Oceanic 815 crashed over the Pacific.

“But wasn’t I on that flight?” he asks himself.

“No, little brother, we decided to go to Atlantis instead” his father replies.

“You mean the lost continent?”

“No, man! I mean the resort in the Bahamas! And it was kickin’, yo!”

Then we cut to a scene of the entire cast drunk and half-naked in a swimming pool, drinking colorful and highly-alcoholic drinks. “Aloha!” they slur, “Thanks for your support!”

BOOM

WASTED (6 years)

The only way to take on Smokie is to become like Smokie. So who goes down the golden water slide and gets turned into a White Smokie? Then the two smokies meet and annihilate each other like matter and antimatter.

Yawn… it’s dumbed down enough for the tv audience that it just may be the big climax they have planned for us.

Alternate plot element regarding endining revolves around a food drop.

What LOST really needed was a guy with a chainsaw for an arm.

I think it ends with the big concert turning into a bill and Ted style jam. Wyld Stallyans!! Rock and roll will save the island and everyone will be excellent to each other.

It’s kinda fun watching the first episode again, thinking about WTF this show could have been and WTF it is and WTF is was meant to be….Watching the pilot again is like some strange trip indeed…Damn Lilly was facially awesome in this ep, shit too pretty fro porn…

“You’ve never heard of driveshaft?”

Oh Christ. This. Right here. 32min into the pilot, and it’s already going downhill.

I’ve heard rumors that it turns out some of the characters are in Australia as part of some experimental therapy. Some of the characters don’t really exist and are part of the therapies “immersion experience” that are supposed to help guide them. This of course makes no sense at all, since all the characters had their stories told in the third person. Then again, who knows.

Truth be told, I have NO idea how it will end. All I’m sure of is it will be incredibly disappointing and unoriginal.

I’m curious as to what the Jimmy Kimmel special will be like. Will it be like the Carson with the cast of Cheers, where they got shit-faced and made giant asses of themselves? Will they finally admit what some of them have only hinted at in the past; that they had NO clue what they were supposed to be filming? Or will they tow the company line, hoping for a part in the next season of V?

I want my seasonal meats and cheeses Tyler!

All of the people left on the island convene on another giant temple which no one has happened to notice before. They’re about to have a showdown, every character is holding a gun and cocks it at the same time. Even Locke cracks his neck which makes a gun cocking sound.

Just before the shit hits the fan, Vincent comes out of nowhere, and hovers in the centre of the temple. He gives some philisophical speech that leaves the crowd wondering ‘wtf did he say?” much like during the Architects speech in the Matrix. He says none of them are worthy of protecting the light vagina and tells them all to get the fuck off his island. Not only that but he raises his leg and pisses on jacob’s fire, and uses a dust buster to vacuum up smokie.

There is a large boat docked at one side of the island which also no one every noticed before. Cue some slow motion shots of people hugging and saying goodbye to the island as they get on the boat. It sails off into the sunset.

Just then Rose and Bernard emerge from the woods wondering where everyone has gone because they”re run out of dharma brand cialis. Rose tells bernard that he’s useless to her when ‘limp’. They go off wandering the island some more.

it’s funny how many critics who have slurped Lost for the last 6 years are trying hard to defend the finale as if they know it’s going to be bad. i’m reading things like “even if it is bad, we should thank them for 6 great seasons”.

I have read online that in one (confirmed, supposedly) scene that Smoked Locke finds dog prints. Since Darlton have been going around saying the person who kills Smoked Locke is going to be a big surprise, I’m guessing it’s going to be Walt. I can’t imagine even the hacks behind Lost would have Vincent kill him.

FINAL SCENE SPOILER ***WARNING***
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The final scene is everyone still left on the island lying dead in circle around a Dharma chimpanze thats jerking off to a picture of Elena Kagan.
BOOM
LOST

Darlton and JJ make cameos as themselves. Joss Whedon makes an extended cameo with a gun, shooting every cast member, then Lindelof, then Cuse, and finally JJ.

Someone will say “THERE’S NO TIME” or a variation thereof DESPITE the fact that it’s the LAST GODDAMN EPISODE!

Why Lost why…your show makes no sense….:(

Well folks, here we are once again at an exciting Lost season finale event. The creative team behind Lost have not yet disappointed in a finale, and I’m sure this one will be great as well. Here’s to a great six seasons!

One of these two will happen.

1) Vincent will be the hero
2) or he is now completely out of the story without explanation

The children were kidnapped early on in the series. This is because at first they wanted to option to make this a family show. But when they looked at the viewer demographics they decided to make it darker and had to eliminated the kids.

Imagine this! The kids are kidnapped and none of the adults seem to care, with the exception of Michael’s kid Walt. Even worse, the viewing audience doesn’t seem to care. Not a real top ten issue as to where all these kids are.

We do get a teaser that two (just two!) of them are seen preforming menial duties at the temple in season 6. Later when smokie smokes the temple one has to presume that any children who didn’t die performing slave labor were snuffed.

Still not really getting that caring feeling eh?

But you just let smokie whack that dog. No way will that happen. I expect that might be in the rulez even.

If he did do that this would happen. We would start hearing some of those European sirens coming closer. Hear the Doppler shift as a team of police arrive, followed by animal rights activists. They surround smokie-in-locke-mode. He is instantly tasered and hog tied. The police have to beat back the animal rights activists who finally break through and string the guy up (not again! are his last thoughts).

But surprise, Vincent who is not hurt too bad, finally gets up slowly and then, with the whole world watching, breaths a sigh of relief when he starts wagging his tail. He’s OK!

They all pose together as a glorious theme song is played. All applauding for each character and then at last a resounding cheer for Vincent the hero of our story.

No animal was harmed in this scenario.

I predict that this site will be the “I’m Feeling Lucky” result on Google for “seasonal meats and cheeses” by the time the finale is done airing on the U.S. West Coast.

Greatest Episodes of Season 6, in no particular order:

1. The Last Recruit
2. Everybody Loves Hugo (with special kudos to the whispers reveal scene)
3. Across the Sea
4. The Package
5. What Kate Does
6. What They Died For

It’s been a great season y’all

Jack will kill Locke Ness Smokester with the help of special Desmond, who sacrifices himself, Kate kills Claire, chooses Sawyer, Ben changes his mind again. In the alt-verse Desmond has gathred everyone who “matters”, flies to the island with the helps of Eloise’s lamp post and Widmare’s monies, Somehow the two timelines will be united through the island’s vagina.

Chubby Rain – the aliens are in the water drops.

Pre-Finale Warm up. Lost’s Suckiest Moments

Season 2:
*Hurley is seemingly allowed to blow up the massive stash of food in the hatch.

*Likeable characters from Season one lose their essence:
Locke the wise man becomes a buffoon. Jack the hero becomes a massive asshole. Michael goes from struggling father to murderous traitor. Charlie goes from recovering druggie rock star to baby stealing crybaby. Kate descends into pointlessness season by season.

*Ana Lucia’s emergence. Unlikeable character kills Shannon and gets 3 centric episodes before getting killed herself.

*Rose and Bernard get an entire episode.

*Jack and Sayid’s idiodic plan from the Season 2 finale.

*The Hurley Bird

Season 3:
*The Others are revealed to be a bunch of domesticated weirdos who only dress up in savage like outfits for an unknown purpose. It was never made clear why they kidnapped people, except to get a spinal surgeon for their leader Ben who had the means to leave the island and get surgery. They died for their secrets and couldnt divulge any info before but this is changed and never explained.

*Ben is shown to have millions of dollars. It is never explained how this is possible considering he had been on the island since he was 10. He came as the son of a janitor, hardly left, but became extremely wealthy somehow.

*The death of Mr. Eko

*Nikki and Paulo

*The Cabin (Abandoned plotline)

*Women are shown to not be able to get pregnant and give birth on the island without dying. This parrallels Ben’s mother’s death during her son’s birth. It seems that was why it was written into the show to begin with. It is explained that the island increases sperm count in males (not explained why), thus allowing steril Jin to knock up his wife, who after leaving the island was just fine giving birth. This issue was never further addressed.

*The reasoning for Charlie’s sacrifice. Desmond tells Charlie of his vision of Claire and Aaron getting on to a helicopter that may only come true if Charlie dies in the looking glass. He does die (great scene in a great episode), yet this never happens. (Abondoned plotline)

Season 4:
*Kate’s trial in her flashforward. She gets away with murder because of her good character.

*Ben, who was already annoying as fuck, mangaes to escape death 50 times without reason.

*Sawyer’s character, following his revenge on Cooper becomes a baffled, confused, nickname machine that blindly goes around huffing and puffing and taking his shirt off, while hitting things he doesn’t understand.

*Jin and Sun’s flashforward where the viewer is forcefully mindfucked. The flashforward’s besides Jack’s in the Season 3 finale were all underwhelming.

*Charles Widmore is revealed to have been looking for the island, which he had been unable to locate for decades, yet he also somehow knew that Oceanic 815 crashed there and for some reason he felt the need to put a plane full of 300+ dead bodies that he somehow dug up at the bottom of the ocean. Why he exactly did this no one knows or ever cared enough to ask. He also sends a frieghter full of merceneries to the island to kidnap Ben and murder everyone else on the island for unexplained reasons.

*Ben and Charles Widmore’s rules are introduced and never explained. They seemingly can’t kill one another, yet Ben kills Widmore in Season 6. (Abandoned plotline)

*Michael and Walt’s dissapointing return. Tom revealed to be off island for a week and gay tells of the others overly complex and unbelieveable plan that they knew Michael would be willing to carry out. Walt shuns his father and Michael’s mother disallows any speaking between father and son. Michael is later killed on the frieghter in an unceremonius way. Michael is punished for his Season 2 acts per fan request and it is presented as some contrieved form of redemption.

*Claire’s dissappearance. Her baby is left by a tree and she ends up looking all high next to Jack’s ghost father in the cabin (that was built in the 70’s, yet can jump all over the place and only Hurley knows the way). Jack’s ghost father is later revealed to only be “MIB” randomly taking Christian’s form as he did to many people at many times who never even knew Christian.

*The Frozen Donkey Wheel. The idea that an island can be moved.

Season 5:
*Time Traveling. The 70’s and all the terrible plot lines and dialogue that came with them. Dharma is revealed to be a bunch of incapable idiots. They are scientists that mainly focus on construction work for their facilities. The explanation of the hatch is that the Losties somehow caused it. So stupid. This whole season sucked so much that I cannot possibly cover all the bad writing and plot holes.

*The overall lack of any good episodes, everything up to this point had redeeming and likeable moments. Season 4 had “The Constant”, a brilliant episode as well as “There’s No Place Like Home”, a strong, powerful finale among all of the nonsense. This season had nothing great, nothing good, nothing even memorably cool.

*The reasoning for the Oceanic 6’s lie. How it came about and why they were paranoid and seemingly in danger was very unclear and stupid.

*Kate as a mother. She never explains anything she does or why she never explains anything she does. Never ask her anything again!

*The Oceanic 6 returns to the island and 5 of them are magically flashed to the 70’s for no explained reason. It is also never explained while Sun did not time travel.

*Hawking explains how the Island is always moving. It is revealed that she is not an oracle, just a former other. How she knew anything about Desmond is not explained.

*Danielle is shown to have looked Ben right in the face as he took her baby, and easily submissed her by pointing a gun. He takes her child and tells her that the whispers had something to do with the Others which they didnt. She captured him in Season 2 and acted completely the opposite of how anyone would act if they captured the man who stole their child.

*Ben single handedly commits the murders of Locke and Abaddon. Later this season he is able to kill Jacob. Locke, after finally becoming the leader of the island, doesn’t come into his own, instead he is manipulated by ghost Christian to turn the wheel. He wakes up and the writers turn him into a complete shadow of a man who is manipulated to not commit suicide by a man who murders him immediately after. Ben also somehow convinced Sayid to work for him killing people who we never met or understood.

*After Sayid shoots young Ben, Kate and Sawyer feel the need to get him to Others to save him, because he’s “not Ben yet”, he’s “just a kid!” Jack tries to get them to let it just play out, but they must save him.

*The death of Daniel Faraday.

*That scene with fake Locke watching real Locke and telling Richard what to do. Paradoxes all over the place.

*Jacob and MIB are introduced. MIB is not given a name, ever. He steals Locke’s body and completes an overly complex plan. Jacob is copied in pasted into everyone’s lives via flashback.

*Atom bomb is converted into backpack bomb, although it is leaking.

*Juliet changes her mind on crucial decisions 80 times in the finale. Randomly becomes a complete maniac, and then dies. She died from the fall after a while, not from the explosion of a nuclear weapon a foot away from her.

Season 6:
*Everyone is transported back to present day for unexplained reasons. The past is not reset instead time is split.

*The Temple, Dogen the Samurai with his sidekick who tries really hard to look like John Lennon. We are forced to see these terrible characters who were very important others apparently yet never did a damn thing. Sayid easily kills them after they kill him and he comes back as a zombie controlled by MIB (for a while)

*The Alternate timeline (Stupidly referred by the writers as the Flash-sideways) and the everything in it. Stupid pointless cameos parodying the early season’s crossed storylines that made the viewer believe meant anything.

*MIB talks mad shit about Locke (a far superior character) while in his body. The writers love making Locke look stupid post Season 1.

*Jacob’s lighthouse with it’s magic mirror. This was out in the open, yet never found by anyone ever in the long history of the island, the US army was there, scientists, everyone.

*Claire’s underwhelming, confusing return as Danielle V.2. It made no sense. Wathcing her put the ax in that black dude was face palm worthy. It was for shock value, period.

*Sayid, after being shot by Ben’s janitor father in the 70’s turns into a mindless zombie until his eventual death by C4 later in the season. A great character is needlessly ruined.

*Ben is forgiven for Jacob and Locke’s murders. Even though they are the cause to the main conflict. Ben is now written as if he should have sympathy. He’s a good guy? Right.

*Sawyer reveals how he can easily get into a sub and get it to go whereever he wants it to. “Gun to head, do what I say” style.

*MIB’s idea to leave the island via Ajira plane, that is assumed to be still working, yet never used by the people who crashed on the island.

*”Across The Sea” WORST. EPISODE. EVER.
The light at the heart of the island that needs protecting. This made everyone who ever told their friends about this show being good extremely embarrassed.

So will everyone be here when the finale is airing?

I don’t think the finale will get big ratings as far as finales go, and even though it is getting hype from everywhere it will most likely be in the 15 million range.

bahaha the fuselage is buckling already

Season 6:
*Jacob and MIB’s mom. The lack of knowledge we get as to what the island is, what she is, what happens if the light is not protected. How does it trasnsport people to an Indonesian desert? How could she kill a whole group of people we never met so fast and fill wells.

*Jacob, like Ben and Richard, as well as Locke is revealed to have no idea what is going on. People say something or someone is special and doesnt explain why and people take action to protect or cause drama to create conflict for the show.

*The writers pointless unexplained rules that disallow the deaths of some by the hands of others.

*MIB’s idea to let Ben have the island after he leaves, although he reveals his plan to destroy it to him 10 minutes later. Ben still follows him.

*The Whispers explanation. Lame, not connected to anything and contradictory.

*Adam and Eve explanation. Lame, yet presented as if it was smart and foreshadowed when it wasn’t. Eve was Adam’s mother.

*

I won’t be surprised if they do something stupid like Locke really isn’t Smokie because we never see him transform. It would cause a lot of plot holes, and that’s exactly Darlton’s style.

When you look back at the Sopranos finale, it was interesting how so many people spewed venom at David Chase for the fade to black ending. That’s considering the fact that for the most part the show was strong through the final season.

Lost on the other hand has incredibly bad this season so it is expected that the finale will be bad on a level that has never been witnessed before. I wonder if fans of Lost will grow some spines and criticize Darlton for the abomination or will they continue to proclaim that they are geniuses. Most diehard fans are teenagers so i’m thinking the latter.

*After Sayid shoots young Ben, Kate and Sawyer feel the need to get him to Others to save him, because he’s “not Ben yet”, he’s “just a kid!” Jack tries to get them to let it just play out, but they must save him.

I forgot about how stupid this was. Oh man.

What about that episode where Hurley and Miles go around trying to write the Empire Strikes Back before it was written? Tons of Star Wars references and terrible dialogue. Miles has daddy issues, sees baby version of himself hanging with dad. Hurley abandons Star Wars script. He cant spell Bounty Hunter because he is retarded. LOST.

I swear if the show ends with “You all Everybody” and Gizmo/Hobbit rocking out on stage with Little Boy Widmore, that’s it. I’ll never watch this goddamned show again.

Oh wait,

When Ben was a child, he went to school during the Dharma Initiative days. Before the school and barracks were assaulted by “hostiles”, the teacher was talking about a dormant volcano that was part of the island. Desmond, after being taken by Locke and Ben, will be forced into the heart of the island, the volcano, and do something to make the volcano explode, thus sending the island through a tail spin back in time. It will then cause the island to sink. So, the flashsideways is a continuation of the original story, in a sense. Jack/Kate/etc actually die on the island which sinks, which prevents them from ever reaching the island. Since this causes a paradox, an ALT had to occur. The actual ALT is the crash of O815. Locke’s smoke monster is prevented from leaving because of Jack who sacrafices himself and helps cause the island to sink.

I love this blog and just had to say a little something here..

Don’t forget that Darlton are HUGE Star Wars fans, so don’t be too suprised
if after a classic battle between Smokey and what’s left of the cast who’s
contract hasn’t expired (see Sayid,Jin,Sun and Lawnmower Man.)
the three surviving heroes Kate, Sawyer and Hurley see all the needless
characters who have died previously on this mess of a show standing on
a log glowing and smiling (will need to be a big log by the way) as the entire
crew rocks out to the EWOK song.

Now THAT might make my six LOST years worth it after all….

jbp

All Damon and Carlton tried to do was create some high quality entertainment for television watching Americans, and sites like this are the thanks they get? You should all be ashamed of yourselves, you pompous assholes.

you can suck Elena Kagan’s cock

I love Lost!

five minutes into “the final journey” and all i can think is that these actors probably masturbate to pictures of themselves masturbating.

In the end, people will watch shit they enjoy and over embellish the shit out of it and people will watch shit they didn’t enjoy and over embellish the shit out of it, and there will be a few in the middle (Infected^^) who judge it for what it’s worth…Dissapointed in some areas to be sure, happy in other areas…

It’s been a great ride for the haters and the lovers alike…Sometimes those two terms are ridiculously interchangeable that’s for sure, I hope that somewhere in this Lovefeast//Hatefeast they will be joy, or something like that…

I sincerely hope you get something…Whatever something is…It’s been fun, hope you’ve all enjoyed my trolling-arc…

BOOM

HEART

Well folks, I’m out to get some dinner with the fiancee and let the DVR do its thang. I will catch you all around midnight, central time. Good luck, and try not to blow any blood vessels from laughing so hard. My big fear is it will actually be good and all our faces will melt like in Raiders Of The Lost Ark. If that happens (doubt it), it’s been nice knowin’ ya.

this might be fun:

this guy hates lost and is doing a live blog:

hXXp://www.midseasonreplacements.com/wp/?p=16663

read his recaps here:

hXXp://www.midseasonreplacements.com/wp/?cat=12

They finally open that hatch!

A polar bear eats Jack and becomes the new Jacob.

hey Tyler, you should make another entry for the final train wreck.

Kidding aside, I’ve got the winnig answer right here:

It ends with….

BOOM
LOST

I anxiously await your seasonal meat, Tyler.

ISP pipeline online… IP randomizer engaged… awesomely bad quality pictures flickering into life… lagging happening

Wombat Vagina. It was just time that this was said. Trust Me.

I’m watching this now, and can’t believe how lame it is…

Sneak peaks of “Prince of Persia” tonight, oh fuck…

This review show is so funny. It actually makes it look like the plot progressed at an exciting rate.

It just makes this show look like a disorganized mess, which it is.

I’m guessing the magnetism is caused by a spaceship buried under the island, and the light source is from the powerplants of the ship. This will probably lead into some scientology bullshit.

Since ~31% of Americans believe that the Bible is the true word of God (Gallup poll), there’s a good chance that 31% of America is LOVING THIS SHIT.

I’ve just put up quotes on the ep 16 thread from George Lucas, Darlton and Terry O’Quinn. The Quinn one in particular is classic.

Basically he said if people are watching the finale to find out about the Dharma Initiative they’re barking up the wrong tree.

Good to know.

If you need a circle jerk, recap show of this nature then you know you’ve failed at telling a coherent story

What a god-damn stupid synopsis this is.

This is actually what I think of Lost fans:

Frink: “Yes, over here, [...] in Episode BF12, you were battling barbarians while riding a winged Appaloosa, yet in the very next scene, my dear, you’re clearly atop a winged Arabian! Please do explain it!
Lucy Lawless: Uh, yeah, well, whenever you notice something like that… a wizard did it.
Frink: Yes, alright, yes, in episode AG04-”
Lucy Lawless: Wizard!
- The Simpsons, “Treehouse of Horror X”

So, yeah, donkey wheel, smoke “el cheapo special fx” monster (he is to T.V. what Dizzy was to computer games), Hurley not dying of a heart attack, all of that, a wizard did it.

Ooh the magic starts in fifteen minutes.

I’m getting out my mascara and cripplingly suspended send of disbelief.

Cruse just compared this to a “Shakespearean type” story…

These two child molesters are so annoying

damn it looks like the Hawaiian sun really took its toll on Kate’s face. She looks like a sun burnt crack whore.

I just realized something. After watching these 2 guys verbally masturbate each other, I don’t just dislike Carlton and Damon… I despise them.

Bad writer / good zen philosopher:

Do not seek answers because they will only beget more answers.

What-ev-er.

All they had to do was have one of the spooky characters quote the Cluney version of SOLARIS:

There are no answers. Only choices.

Would have actually fit the show perfectly, especially as the tagline for Season 6.

Fraking Charlie…. Sod off asshole.

NEW PREDICTION! 8:24 Central Standard Time:

Claire is pregnant with Man In Black.
Sun is pregnant with Jacob.

I was on the fence for a while on whether or not I liked the show.

Well, just finished watching the series finale and it sucked. It ended just as I feared it would.

So everything that happened prior to this episode was pointless? way to cop out you asshole writers.

And way to not answer any fucking questions.

gilligan’s island>lost

Bad, BAD ending! They could have killed everyone at any time and the basic ending would be the same! After all this, they couldn’t figure out a creative way to end it, so they used a lame catch-all. They could have just merged the universes and had a new monster / Jacob living on the island.

Um…there was a Smoke Monster in Stargate Atlantis…the episode in which Rodney MacKay attached an ancient personal shield to his body and couldn’t get it off, he couldn’t eat or take a shit…so anyway…they coax the ’smoke monster’ (same FX) to the stargate and Rodney saves the day because he has that shield…as a matter of fact, most concepts in LOST can be seen originating from Stargate Sg-1 and Atlantis…as for light-holes in the creek…and other issues…basically, everything can be explained by watching Stargate Sg-1 and Atlantis…NOT SGU…which makes Lost look good…

I have been an avid Lost fan since Season 1 (say what you will, I loved the first three seasons). I went into the finale with super low expectations based on everything they did with Season 6, and it was SO much worse than I could ever have imagined. What a giant, piece-of-shit, cop out of an ending. In two and a half hours they rendered the entirety of the series completely pointless. I feel like I just wasted six years of my life on the longest con imaginable.

How much money did the writers make on this terrible show called Lost?

Do you think they earned any of it?

oh man!

i hate this shit so much

it makes me wanna fucking puke!!

What I want to know is, who won????? This seemed to have been swept under the carpet!!! WHY?!?!?! It turns out that this whole page was for nothing if nobody wins. Do we actually want this whole entire page to wind up just like LO$T? Completely and totally without meaning or just cause. To be inane and worthless. To follow in the same footsteps as the show itself did. To be a total waist of time and effort. If this be the case then I am very disappointed in each and every one of you who posted a theory or comment on this page!!! You all everybody should be ashamed of yourselves for lacking in the ability to crown a champion!!! Are we all so shallow and mindless that we would let the efforts of some of the individuals that painstakingly made a whole hearted effort to come up with something half assed intellegent enough to post for an ending to this piece of shit show, just go to waist? Mainly me!!! Well let me tell all you bastards what!!! Everyone elses post wasn’t even worth the time it took to read it. They all sucked worse then the show did!!! Except mine of course!!! Which was a masterpiece well beyond epic proportions. Fuck all you sons a bitches, mine was best and you all know it!!! So I proclaim myself as champion and victory is mine!!! If you have a complaint about my self proclaimed victory then take it up with the owner of this here site. I shall now take and bow out gracefully with the hopes that nobody ever comes back here and reads this…..